Scanner : cindy mccain

McCain's Fem-bot Wife Wants to Go 'Dancing With the Stars'

Scanner Matt — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:22:00 GMT

Today Page Six claims their "impeccably placed source" says, "Just before Thanksgiving, Cindy McCain started talks with producers to appear as a dancer on the show (Dancing With the Stars)."

Really?

This impeccably placed source also claims, "She wanted to do it very badly." But this week, Sen. McCain "put the kibosh on it."

Booooooooooo

What is this, Footloose? (If you haven't noticed the giant movie poster we published with this post)

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John and Sarah Still Need Some Time Apart

Drug Charges, Palin Family

Did You Get Your Money's Worth at College?

Which Candidate Spends More on Make-Up Than We Do On Shoes?

Emily Farris — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:37:00 GMT

And we just got some expensive new boots.

Hint: it's not Sarah Palin.

Nope, it's pretty, pretty princess, John McCain. The old man has reportedly paid Tifanie White—a beauty school grad who's done faces for "American Idol"—$5,583.43 to get him camera ready for television appearances.

Um, didn't he once call his wife Cindy a cunt who wore too much make-up? She does, but still.

[NYP: Pretty Face]

Related:

Video of the Day: John McCain Said it First

Spoon or Spork: Cindy McCain?

Unauthorized Bio: McCain Had Awesome HS Nickname, Called Wife A "C-Word" In '92

Palin's Big Cancer-Causing Purchase

[Image, Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Stripper Shoots Boyfriend Over $150

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:09:00 GMT

A top Superior Court official in Cobb County, Georgia resigned after the following allegations were made public:

Sex in a judge's chambers, trysts at local hotels during business hours, obscene phone calls to female workers and a desire to see lesbian sex are among the many accounts of what was going on... for the past two decades.

A new study indicates the pill may lead women to make incorrect mating decisions. Hmm... no comment.

And Paris Hilton is being sued for

declining self-promotion for the first time in her life, TMZ reports that she's being sued for it:
Her 2006 "comedy" "National Lampoon's Pledge This!" was apparently so bad, even Paris wouldn't shill for it. Worldwide Entertainment Group says she got paid a mil — a mil, folks — to act in the movie and then push it on TV and radio. They say she didn't do the latter and so they're going after her in Federal court.

A stripper and another possible shooter wounded the stripper's (ex-)boyfriend over a whopping $150 debt.

Ha, ha: A judge in California allowed the state's colleges to deny entry to Christian students who learned about the Bible instead of evolution.

Obama supporter or just crazy idiot? An overzealous supporter sent Cindy McCain to the hospital today with a "crushing" handshake.

Wait, aren't Pam and Tommy Lee still together? Guess not.

And George W. Bush is sending US troops and sexy socialite Condi Rice to rescue Georgia from a ~~Soviet~~ Russian invasion.

John McCain Signs His Wife Up For Topless (And Sometimes Bottomless) Contest

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:37:00 GMT

John McCain was speaking in South Dakota when he decided to make an offhanded mention of their local biker rally:

"I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and noticed that you had a beauty pageant, so I encouraged Cindy to compete," McCain told an audience at the rally. "I told her [that] with a little luck, she could be the only woman to serve as both the First Lady and Miss Buffalo Chip."

The rally John just volunteered his wife to participate in features up to half a million motoycyclists... and lots of topless and bottomless women...

The audience, clearly better versed in the details of the pageant, cheered and whistled their approval.

Here are some photos from one of the 61 previous years of the Sturgis spectacle:

McCain's campaign has offered no comment on the allegations (that the Senator wants to pimp his wife out.) We wouldn't mind seeing Cindy get in on the above action, although you know what kind of boobs the biker crowd hollers for. (Hint: it's the big kind.)

Via Political Radar. More photos here.

Related:

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While You Were Sleeping: We'll Score Or Go Topless For You

Scanner Highs And Lows: Toplessness On Parade

Celebrity Hero of the Day: Keira Knightley, With Her Modest Bosom

Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

Look Out! Olympic Swimmer Amanda Beard Is Naked Again. This Time for PETA, Not Playboy

Controversial New Yorker Cover Even Dumber Than We First Thought

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:50:00 GMT

The New Yorker's cover this week is the most controversial topic to hit the political scene since Reverend Jeremiah Wright. The cover has been met with universal scorn on the blogs, while both campaigns gave statements condemning it...

David Remnick, the magazine's editor, has defended his choice against an overwhelming public outcry, claiming this is satire. Here's why we disagree with his choice to run it:

1) Remnick claims satirical privilege, as if that will stop the scrutiny. In any case, this isn't satire-- at least not satire that anyone with any brain cells would attempt to pass off as such. Satire is a picture of McCain groping his mistress (or a lobbyist?) while his wife robs her charity's medicine cabinet-- as since that's a true depiction with a satirical bent, you wouldn't be feeding a lie.

2) Remnick wants an "attack" on the "lies and misconceptions" about the Senator, but where in this entire picture do you see any lies being attacked, rather than perpetuated, unchecked? (If anything it's America that's being attacked, clearly by the Obama Family.) Now, is it the editor's fault most morons will see this cover and think, "So he is one of them Muslim terrorists"? No, but it's still his fault, especially as a self-proclaimed satirist, for not even trying to make them see the truth.

3) Remnick calls his cover "Colbert in print." Yeah, but when comedians goof on Obama, it's actually funny, dude. Tell me where the jokes are-- if this had said Republican National Committee Newsletter at the top and not The New Yorker, it wouldn't have been any less hysterical.

Yes, yes, we know-- this would technically almost sort of qualify it as satire. But we're not arguing definitions-- we're arguing stupidity, necessity, purpose, effectiveness of said satire, and message. On all those levels, this cover fails. As political hackwork for John McCain, this succeeds tremendously.

Video of the Day: John McCain Said it First

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:40:00 GMT

We know John McCain called his wife a cunt. You know John McCain called his wife a cunt.

Too bad the people who only get their news from the TV will never know John McCain called his wife a cunt.

Hey, John McCain called his wife a cunt.

Spread the word: John McCain called his wife a cunt.

Related:

Unauthorized Bio: McCain Had Awesome HS Nickname, Called Wife A "C-Word" In '92

Spoon or Spork: Cindy McCain?

In Defense of Cindy "Cookie Monster" McCain

Top 5 Things McCain Should Do Now

In Defense of Cindy "Cookie Monster" McCain

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:57:00 GMT

Recently, Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, submitted a recipe to Family Circle for her oatmeal-butterscotch cookies. Only it turns out, they weren't exactly her oatmeal-butterscotch cookies. Or if they were her oatmeal-butterscotch cookies, they happen to be made the same way as someone over at Hershey's makes them — because the same recipe appears on the company's website.

Forgetting for a moment that oatmeal-butterscotch cookies sound pretty gross, I have to say, this kind of shit happens in the culinary world.

For example, I grew up thinking that my mom's green bean casserole was hers. It was creamy on the inside, crunchy on top and just plain delicious. Of course my mother had created it! Except, she hadn't. Once I started making it myself, I learned it was the recipe from the Durkee onion can. Was I devastated when I learned this? Sure. But had I not been writing a casserole cookbook and actually had to investigate and pay close attention to these things, would I have gone on thinking that my mom had created the green been casserole I grew up on? Probably.

Unfortunately, as the Huffington Post reveals, the similarities are too close for comfort. McCain didn't even bother to change anything about the recipe, save taking the name Hershey's out of it. So unless her mother passed down this recipe without telling a young Cindy that it was ripped off from the company, it's possible Cindy ripped off Hershey's on her own.

Now considering this isn't the first time the McCain clan has come under fire for stolen recipes, she should have been more careful. A few months ago, Cindy got in trouble for posting a Rachael Ray recipe as her own on John's campaign site.

But can you blame her? With all the time she spends putting on her make-up do you think she really has the time to create recipes?

[Us: Cindy McCain, Bill Clinton Plagiarize Cookie Recipe, Website Reveals]

Recently:

Spoon or Spork: Cindy McCain?

Top 5 Things McCain Should Do Now

Unauthorized Bio: McCain Had Awesome HS Nickname, Called Wife A "C-Word" In '92

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McCain's Dumped First Wife Speaks Out

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:05:00 GMT

Carol McCain has finally spoken out on behalf of her ex-husband, Vietnam War hero and now anti-condom Presidential candidate.

Carol was a swimsuit model who married the future Senator in 1965, just under two years prior to his tour of duty in Vietnam...

"I thought, of course, we would live happily ever after," said Carol, who now lives in Virginia Beach.

What really happened is that John McCain had to endure five plus years of torture in a POW camp, while unbeknownst to him, his wife was undergoing multiple surgeries following a horrific car accident. However, as Carol now tells it, neither had to do with John McCain's decision to leave his wife seven years after his return from 'Nam:

"My accident is well recorded," Carol recounted. "I had 23 operations, I am five inches shorter than I used to be and I was in the hospital for six months. It was just awful, but it wasn't the reason for my divorce."
Although John married his current wife – 17 years his junior – just a month after the split, Carol insists, "I have no bitterness."

Via US. Photo via xtimeline.com.

Previously: John McCain Unaware Of The Uses of Condoms.

Sloppy Seconds: Which Sex and the City Star Had Breast Cancer, For Real?

Emily Farris — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:28:00 GMT

A very blonde woman who is divorcing her rich husband aired her dirty laundry on YouTube, and while we kind-of think it's wrong, we kind-of love it. [BoingBoing]

Is the Marilyn Monroe sex tape a hoax? Say it ain't so! [Fleshbot]

A young Christian TV host came out. Isn't it sad that he "knows" this will end his career in Christian television? [Jossip]

Cindy McCain is going to guest co-host The View on Monday. We wonder if she'll do her own make-up. [Yahoo!]

Will Gisele Bundchen star in the next Austin Powers? There's going to be another Austin Powers. Oh, fine. [DailyStab]

Kim Cattrall's character Samantha may have battled breast cancer on Sex and the City, but it was Cynthia Nixon who had it (and beat it) in real life. Nixon didn't want paparazzi at the hospital, so she kept her diagnosis private. Plus, everyone was too worried about her lezzing it up to care about her health. Whew! [US Weekly]

Unauthorized Bio: McCain Had Awesome HS Nickname, Called Wife A "C-Word" In '92

Bryan Christian — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 12:33:00 GMT

You know, we don't care much about a guy calling his competition "shitheads" and gettin' angry at his co-workers and stuff. Heck, you should hear the way the Scanner crew talks about those jerks over on Screengrab! (Ha, just kidding, everybody; our lawyers don't let us talk to each other at all.)

But one thing that really chaps our hide: crusty old guys verbally bitchslap their wife when their pride has been accidentally wounded. So... wanna hear an icky story about the volatile temper that, we're guessing, got John McCain the nickname "McNasty" in high school? Then read on...

In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt."

And nobody ever hired David Mamet as a speechwriter again. The end.

Spoon or Spork: Cindy McCain?

Emily Farris — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:06:00 GMT

Wannabe first-wife Cindy McCain has had a rough go of it lately, what with accusations of John's extra-marital affairs, the revelation that John called her a cunt sixteen years ago ("At least I don't plaster on makeup like a trollop, you cunt."). In addition, Senator McCain is probably focusing his energies elsewhere these days, leaving the McCain marital bed a little cold (we're just guessing). Cindy could probably use some loving right about now, but what kind?

Does she just need some good cuddling or could she use a good poke? In other words, spoon or spork? Everyone knows what “spooning” is so we need not repeat the obvious, but “sporking” is a whole other beast. Sporking is a good spooning that turns into a great porking—thus the name.