Scanner : clinton

Guess Which Prez Candidate is Gay for Gay Marriage

Katie Halper — Fri, 16 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

It's issues like this that remind me why I, Scanner Katie, voted for Nader (in 2000. In NY). Obvi, McCain is no fan of gay marraige (hell, MLK appreciation day is too liberal for him.) But, sadly, neither Clinton nor Obama has embraced gay marriage. So, who is the one candidate progressive enough and butch enough to stick up for equal rights?

Why, it's Libertarian candidate Formerly knows as the Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel. Queerty rightly congratulated Gravel for being the only candidate to say "congratulations" to the California Supreme Court. Listen and see what Gravel has to say!

I congratulate the California Supreme Court for recognizing a self-evident truth: Marriage is a fundamental constitutional right that ALL Americans share! Anything short of marriage equality means second-class citizenship for gays and lesbians. Obama, Clinton and McCain choose to deny this truth but California just made their obstinate opposition much more difficult.The California court dismissed the argument that “tradition” precludes same-sex marriage. Opponents of interracial marriage once shared this view. They were dead wrong just like opponents of gay marriage. As I said during the HRC/Logo debate, marriage is not about tradition but about love and what this world needs is more LOVE. Next we must get all states to recognize the same sex marriages granted in California and other enlightened states. This is not a states rights issue, as many of my opponents argue. Gay marriage, like civil rights for blacks, is a constitutional issue and individual rights must always trump states rights when they are in conflict. My fellow Libertarians who disagree ought to check the definition of libertarianism. During the HRC/Logo debate I predicted that in five years the nation would embrace gay marriage. Thanks to California we have taken a giant leap toward that glorious day!

Previously: Guess who's Getting Gay Married?, Breaking: Same-Sex Marriage Now Legal in California

Clinton Wins West VA, Obama Wins Something Else

Katie Halper — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:15:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton won the vote in West Virginia, but Barack Obama won a pretty important endorsement. And it's top secret. Luckily, Scanner Katie has her connections and spills her beans below the jump.

This is top secret info. But I'm really close to Nancy Keenan, the head of NARAL: Pro-Choice America. And because we're so close, Nanc (as I call her) sent me a personal e-mail explaining why NARAL is endorsing Obama. Below is the top secret personal e-mail.

Dear katie,

Send an ecard to your friends.

Make a donation.

Share your thoughts.

I'm excited to announce that today, NARAL Pro-Choice America PAC is endorsing Sen. Barack Obama for president!

We have been so fortunate to have two fully pro-choice candidates running for the Democratic nomination, and we praised both Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama for their leadership in standing up for women's reproductive rights. But only one candidate can advance to the general election.

NARAL Pro-Choice America PAC is making our endorsement now because every day that passes, Sen. McCain gets a free ride on the issue of choice. That free ride ends today.

Too many voters think that McCain is a moderate. Can someone who's voted anti-choice 125 times out of 130 opportunities on abortion and other reproductive-rights issues be a moderate?

It's time to put that myth to rest. To win in November, NARAL Pro-Choice America will educate swing voters who can tip this election: Republican and Indepdendent women. And we cannot let one more day go by without comparing Sen. Obama's fully pro-choice record to Sen. McCain's anti-choice record.

On one hand, we have Sen. Obama—who has been a fully pro-choice ally from day one and whom women can trust.

And on the other hand, we have Sen. John McCain—who has gone even further than George W. Bush in his anti-choice rhetoric by directly calling for the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade.

I believe that Sen. Obama is the leader who can unify our country behind commonsense ways to prevent unintended pregnancy.

We need you to be a part of our work to defeat Sen. McCain and elect Sen. Obama.

Send an ecard to your friends to educate them about Sen. Obama's record on choice.
Make a donation to our work to elect Sen. Obama, other pro-choice candidates, and protect choice at all levels.
Share your thoughts by visting Blog for Choice and posting a comment.

Thank you for your support and I look forward to working with you for a pro-choice White House in 2008!

Nancy Keenan
President, NARAL Pro-Choice America

Paid for by NARAL Pro-Choice America, http://www.prochoiceamerica.org/, and not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee.

James Carville's Jesus Complex & Judas Penis

Katie Halper — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:31:00 GMT

James Carville accused Bill "Hot When Bearded" Richardson of betrayal of biblical proportions, saying "Mr. Richardson's endorsement [of Obama] came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out (Jesus) for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic." The irony, of course, is that Carville commits betrayal of biblical proportions every time he biblically "gets to know" his wife.

Nobody shows us that politics makes strange bedfellows, literally, and figuratively, more than Democratic Spin Doctor Clintonite Jim Carville and Mary Matalin, his Republican Spin Doctor Bushie wife. The Carville-Matlin duo deserve our bipartisan praise for overcoming their ideological differences through pure unadulterated sexual chemistry.

Let’s be honest, people, who among us could resist her beady eyes, and almost invisible lips, and his smooth cranium and teasingly tinted glasses. But if Richardson's getting behind Obama makes him a Judas, what does Carville's getting behind Mary make him? Does Carville feel the holy spirit slip out of his soul when he slips out of his blue pajamas, slips off Mary's red teddy and enters her land of Cain? Does Carville tell himself it's the devil that is making him take off his donkey briefs and pull off her elephant thong? Is the Satanic serpent tricking the Carvillian serpent into tasting Mary's forbidden fruit?

We can only assume that Carville has a Jesus complex and a Mary Magdalene fetish. A J~~esus~~ames C~~hrist~~arville Mary Magdtalin role-play routine is the only thing that could explain the miracle of their marriage and the only way JC could live with himself and sleep with his wife.