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While You Were Sleeping: The Top Gunning Lesbian

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:09:00 GMT

Great news, everybody, swine flu has not affected The Real World: Cancun.

This time, Sean Penn is the one to file for a separation.

A high school marching band member fended off a robber with her baton.

Check out the senior citizen sisters' heroin operation.

A teen prostitute in Sweden claims she was forced to have sex with over 500 men.

Elizabeth Edwards says her husband John should not have run for President a second time, especially after that whole idiotic affair fiasco thing.

A FEMA coloring book features a 9/11 image.

David Blaine is teaching Mia Farrow how to starve herself for publicity.

And Kelly McGillis came out of the closet.

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Strip Show

While You Were Sleeping: Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape Is Inspiring to Young Girls?

While You Were Sleeping: Post-Sex Guilt

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:52:00 GMT

Larry Craig, age four.

Loony Michele Bachman of Loony Minnesota (just kidding, although see above) knows there are exactly 17 socialists in Congress. You know, back in the day, we ran Joe McCarthy out of town with smarter quips than that.

Does your male lover suffer from "post-sex guilt?"

The White House is under attack! By bees.

Ah, yes, another crazy white supremacist with a firearm. Wonders never cease.

Britney Spears had this advice for her audience, generally made up of young girls and their patient mothers: "Don't smoke weed. Rock out with your cocks out. Peace, motherfuckers!"

Controversial (and therefore great) filmmaker Kirby Dick follows up his anti-MPAA movie "This Film Is Not Rated" with a movie that attempts to expose closeted American political figures.

Farrah Fawcett is well enough to leave the hospital.

Just in time for Easter, the Nestle's Chocolate Milk thief has struck again in Congress.

And Sony wants to put its movies on YouTube for free. We'll believe it when we get to the end credits.

While You Were Sleeping: Britney's In Prison

While You Were Sleeping: Joining the Mile High Club

Britney Spears Suffers From A Vagina Slip

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:31:00 GMT

Is former New York City Mayor Ed Koch gay? Does anyone even care at this point?

Scariest hate crime suspect of all-time? This guy: "So I killed somebody - that makes me a bad guy?" We're against the death penalty, so let's hope he gets brutally beaten in prison every day for the next fifty years.

Lesbians in Massachusetts are suing the US government because they aren't allowed to check "Married, filing jointly" to save money on their taxes. (See similar post from yesterday.)

The Family Resources Council thinks prosecuting hate crimes is the same as prosecuting people for thought crimes. Yes, because when you drag a lesbian out of her car, rape her repeatedly for being a lesbian, beat her up and leave her for dead, you're only thinking it.

James Dobson is retiring from Focus on the Family. But we won't forget about him.

Our idea of a good time might occasionally involve a gay bar, but never when we're in Galveston, Texas.

All Sean Penn wants is to make Harvey Milk's birthday Harvey Milk Day. It's the least Gov. Ahnuld could do, right?

Meanwhile, California is doing what it can to stop Prop 8. First, the legislature did this. Tomorrow, the state will be in court to do this and hopefully help these people.

The next Mormons versus the gays battle? This time it'll be over civil unions in Illinois.

Related:

The Gays Fought The Law, Too Early to Tell Who Won

This Week in Gayness: Don't Ask... Just Don't Ask

This Week in Gayness: The Homecoming Drag Queen

Barack Obama's "Gay Sex Scandal" Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

This Week in Gayness: Gotta Love Them Bathhouses

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:37:00 GMT

For the ten millionth time in a row, research suggests being gay is not a choice.

Have you heard about the Day Without a Gay? No, it's not some Fred Phelps extraordinary rendition program, it's a pro-gay event on December 10th in which gay people will not participate in the economy.

Next Friday, possibly-gay Florida Governor Charlie Crist is getting married. So, in light of the recent statewide amendment banning same-sex marriage, pro-gay advocates are going to protest and possibly even invade the wedding itself.

We're surprised Michael Phelps went along with A Very Gay 60 Minutes, but he's always been, you know, a good sport. [Watch here]

Linda Harvey is a scary bitch:

"Males need to stop having homosexual sex," said Harvey. "That means, close homosexual hang-outs, especially all bathhouses. Patrol public parks and arrest men having sex in public toilets. Stop sponsoring large public events, like Folsom Street Fair, that allow public sex and nudity. Ignore the screams of the homosexual lobby when officials do the right thing, even for them. Think of the lives that would be saved and disability prevented." [G-A-Y]

If you're a church that financially supported Prop 8, you may be saying goodbye to your tax-exempt status. Yeah, like the government is going to fuck with the churches.

And don't forget Milk is out in theaters, getting excellent reviews.

This Week In Gayness: Rise Above The Hate

Top 3 Reasons "Twilight" Isn't Cool…or Sexy... or Worth Your $10

eHarmony, Let The Gays Begin!

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes - the Sequel

Do You Want To Watch Weird Swedes Put On Condoms?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:14:00 GMT

Full-blown sexual mania has descended over the great country of Sweden, and with it, those who fear honesty and openness in our society have swooped in to muck things up for the rest of us.

According to The Local, our favorite daily news source in the entire world (since it's chock full of sex-- even more obsessed with it than The Sun), a public transit ad asking "Do you want to see us put on a condom?" has been banned because it made whiny old geezers uncomfortable. Or something. The ad

is part of a campaign for UMO.se, a new web-based helpline for young people.

[It] features two young men and provides a text messaging code which allows people to download a short film featuring a tongue in cheek demonstration of how to put on a condom.

According to Västtrafik, the ad has been banned because it could be considered offensive, reports the newspaper Metro.

Wait, because it could be considered offensive? No one actually complained? It was just you, wasn't it, Vasttrafik, you closeted virgin. Or maybe... closeted homosexual. After all, the ad featured two men (see above/top right photo) and not the now-approved followup ad, featuring only a female, who asks, "Do you want to see me do something I like?"

Yes, but it also involves a condom...

Via The Local.

Related:

Tips From A Stripper: On Saving The Environment

Thirtysomething is the New Stupidsomething

Yes, We'd Like A Lifetime Supply of Pronto Condoms, Please

Yes, Virginia. You can have your own face in your vagina. And the FDA approves it!

This Week In Gayness: We Say No To That Yes On Prop 8

Charlie Crist's "Sex Tape" Could Land Him The Vice-Presidency

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 May 2008 16:56:00 GMT

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, long rumored to be a closeted homosexual, is about to have his true sexual orientation outed by Nixon dirty trickster Roger Stone, who claims to have video surveillance of the newest "Love Gov" and friend on a late-night elevator ride...

Crist is without a doubt the frontrunner for the Republican Vice Presidential nomination after helping John McCain sneaked past second choice Mitt Romney in Florida. However, he is single and therefore a potential liability to the Family Values party. Here's what Politics1, which broke this story, has to say about this "sex tape":

The video was seemingly staged to kill the rumors that Crist is gay. Stone claims the tape -- which he discussed recently with Politics1, but didn't show to us ("I'm saving it for the national shows") -- "shows Charlie fooling around in a hotel elevator with his girlfriend."
Stone just conveniently happens to have a copy of the hotel's elevator surveillance tape, just when Crist's name is in play for the VP spot. Hmm. As for Crist's purported girlfriend -- [pictured above -- Ed.] presuming it is the same one he took as his date to the White House Correspondents Dinner in DC a few weeks ago -- she's still married (and not to Crist). Disclaimer: Always be skeptical of anything from Stone.

Via Politics1.