Scanner : conan obrien

Will Conan Suck When He Gets to L.A.?

Scanner Matt — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:43:00 GMT

You may have heard that Jay Leno is going to move to the 10:00 spot on June 1 when Conan O'Brien takes over the "Tonight Show", and while Leno is going to keep his (or Johnny Carson's) Burbank studio, O'Brien will be moving into a new studio... 3,000 miles from New York.

And as the New York Post points out:

TV shows reflect the places where they are made - think of Oprah and Chicago or the "Today" show and Rockefeller Center. It's part of their show- business DNA.

That means the "Tonight Show" will be changing more than its host when it moves from Burbank to Universal Studios this summer.

So will Conan keep his cool and stay (relatively) funny or turn into the celebrity kiss-up willing to pander to a more traditional audience at an earlier time slot as did the unfunny Leno?

Does this mean no more "masturbating bear" or sneaking knowing stares to the camera when the celebrity being interviewed is a complete moron?

Although "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" has mostly been a mainstream program and like all late night shows a promotional tool for the movie industry, it seemed to take a few chances with bizarre comedy bits, the occasional offensive joke and generally sought to push mundane television comedy a little further than the others when permitted. Will it keep it's edge, though fairly blunt in comparison to cable, when O'Brien reaches La La Land or will Letterman regain the ratings title?

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This Week In Gayness: The Coming Out TV Series

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:15:00 GMT

Sioux City, Iowa decided not to vote on gay marriage because they're not sure they have the authority to do so. We wish Prop 8 supporters had realized the same thing.

Arizona can't even decide whether it wants to support equal judicial representation of gay people.

Headline of the week: "How gay are Philly athletes?" Answer: very.

The State Department has find an interesting way to stop gay marriage...

I've now seen a couple of different reports (here and now here) about how same-sex couples who legally change their names on their marriage certificates are unable to get the State Department to recognize that name change on the couple's passports. In these cases, the State Department takes the position that the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) prevents the government from recognizing a name change effected in conjunction with a same-sex marriage. Nonetheless, the State Department will recognize the name change if the couple takes the separate (and completely unnecessary) step of going to court to get a judicial name change or if the new name is used publicly and exclusively for a period of at least five years (and you can document such use).

Showtime is producing a reality show called Coming Out, which is, you guessed it, about people who come out to their bizarrely-clueless families.

New Jersey may have marriage equality in the near future.

"Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality." - Jon Stewart

Melissa Etheridge and Elisabeth Hasselbeck got into a fight about gay marriage on The View.

And another dumb kid wore a pro-Prop 8 shrit to school.

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VIDEO Handful of Akon on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

Scanner Matt — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:16:00 GMT

Another video today? Why not? This one's a shorty. When rapper, Akon, decided to jump into the adoring crowd at "Jimmy Kimmel Live" while performing his atrociously boring single, "Right Now" (not a Van Halen cover), a random hand reaches up and begins massaging his crotch.

It's at 3:22 on the video after the jump.

We assume the audience member was just making things easier on Akon. Why should rappers have to grab their own crotch all the time? We always thought the tough-guy pee pee dance was a passing fad, but it never seems to go away.

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The Onion Called It Seven Years Ago...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:56:00 GMT

First, they predicted the emergence of Joe the Plumber in a story published in the nineties. Then, they perfectly encapsulated the Bush Administration... just days into W's first term.

The story went on to "quote" Bush on his administration's support for nation building, something Bush the Candidate had said he was against.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

In a high-profile story today that was picked up by CNN, MSNBC, and various other outlets, Joe Garden, an Onion editor and our pick to replace Conan O'Brien when Conan takes over the Tonight Show, had this to say:

Writers at the satirical paper still speak reverentially of the story, in which Bush promises to take the country into a deep recession, worsen the environment and "end the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton."
"Wow, was that prescient," marvels Joe Garden, the Onion's features editor.
"We get asked a lot if we secretly want Republicans to win since there's so much more material," [assistant editor Megan Ganz] says. "The thing is, we always say, we have to live in the country, too. And also, when stuff is really going bad, it's harder to make jokes." [CNN]

Check out the original story here.

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Anyone Else Glad To See Criss Angel And/Or David Blaine Go Down Like A Punch To The Gut?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:01:00 GMT

First, there was David Blaine's widely parodied, criticized, and ignored stunt in New York City in which he claimed to have hung upside down for 60 hours. So what? He took constant breaks... it's been done before, by better, actual magicians, and to more stunning effect.

Then there are these brutal (and we do mean brutal to the point where you almost feel bad for the guy) reviews of Criss Angel's new Las Vegas show with Cirque du Soleil... they have to be seen to be, um, believed...

Angel, the host of A&E's Mindfreak "magic" and weirdness revue, celebrated the opening of his new Vegas act on Friday night, an act which cost a reported $85 million smackers. Here are the highlights for us, from a local paper's interviews with fans and other attendees:

"Everyone in the bathroom was chanting 'bull----'" from the urinals, Damon Ranger of Chicago told me Saturday. "It was absolutely awful. You can 'Believe' how bad it is -- because it's terrible!"

People streamed out of the theater on Saturday screaming about how poor it was. A group of six women was led by a woman yelling furiously, demanding their money back.

"Dude, it's a train wreck," Ranger said. On a scale of 1 to 10, he declared "Believe" a zero.
"Believe" has no compelling storyline, and it's more about dancing and unimpressive tricks, like pulling doves from a sleeve.
Moffett and Wilson walked out before the ending, because Angel started singing the finale, a cover of his "Mindfreak" TV theme song.

"He broke into song. I said, 'He's singing. Now we're leaving,'" Wilson said.

In all fairness, Angel reminded the public, the show wasn't exactly ready yet, as the opening night had a reduced ticket price and was listed as a "ticketed preview." And... oh, here... have a free Coors Light!

"The best thing was getting this free drink coupon - the worst $55 Bud Light I'll ever have."

David Blaine's performances these days fare no better. Here he is getting trashed by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, who speaks for all of us when he mocks Blaine's coffee breaks disguised as necessary medical checkups:

Read more, via the Review Journal.

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While You Were Sleeping: Clay Aiken Shocker

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 13:27:00 GMT

The other night, an NBC affiliate in Los Angeles interrupted Conan to run a story about a John McCain speech.

Speaking of the McCain campaign, turns out they lied in a press release over the weekend saying campaign manager/lobbyist Rick Davis was no longer connected to Freddie Mac and hadn't been for several years. Turns out he was receiving $15,000 a month from them up until their recent collapse.

Clay Aiken finally came out of the closet:

Following the Aug. 8 birth of his son Parker, singer Clay Aiken is following through on a promise he made to himself as a new dad: to publicly acknowledge that he's gay.

"It was the first decision I made as a father," Aiken, 29, tells the upcoming issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."

Lindsay Lohan confirmed that she's in a long-term relationship with Samantha Ronson. She also, it seems to us, says "shit" live on air.

Don't cry for Dennis Quaid-- Meg Ryan wasn't the only one unfaithful in that relationship.

This video should provide your morning jolt. And no, we don't know who dealt it:

Via With Leather

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Video of the Day: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Comic-Con

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:20:00 GMT

Comic Con has fallen into exactly the same trap as Sundance: a festival that was formerly to celebrate one, somewhat holy, cultish thing. At Sundance, it was the independent film roster, shown by their makers and a skeleton crew from the cast and production. At Comic Con, it used to be the fans meeting their heroes and that was that.

Now, they've both turned into little more than corporate mega-productions, advertising the next year's slate of garbage.

Thankfully, we have Triump the Insult Comic Dog to save us. Although he can often be a mean little bastard (or, shall we say, Robert Smigel can be a mean little bastard), Triumph is always worth checking out. Apparently, NBC.com has the full video of the speech seen towards the end of this clip. Let us know if you think it's worth watching-- we're too lazy to get around to it right now...

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I Hate Myself For Loving You: Zooey Deschanel

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:04:00 GMT

Everybody's already in love with actress-turned-indie-rock-darling Zooey Deschanel, which is why, I, Scanner Brian hate myself for having to jump on the bandwagon.

1) The new season of "Weeds," on which Zooey is occasionally featured, premieres on Monday, my birthday, and also features Mary-Louise Parker. If a woman, any woman, can stand out (in talent, looks, presence, etc.) on a show with Mary-Louise, she's gotta be awesome.

2) The She & Him performance from Conan with Yo La Tengo backing them up. We'd show you that video, which Scanner Nicole has posted, except the link is down. And we wouldn't want you to have Zooey's amazing voice stuck in your head.

3) Just kidding, we're going to make you hear her anyway, via this great little animated short, featuring Zooey and M. Ward covering Smokey Robinson:

Zooey Deschanel, M. Ward and Yo La Tengo Would Like to Give You an Indie Rock Wet Dream this Afternoon

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:16:00 GMT

Yeah, sure, it's pedigreed to an annoying extent, but Zooey Deschanel and M.Ward as She & Him performing on Late Night With Conan O'Brien backed by Yo La Tengo is legitimately entertaining. And, whoa, she's definitely cute. Just one topless scene and we'll have pretty much forgiven her for All the Real Girls.

Sloppy Seconds: Dita Von Teese's Lesbian Porno

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Helen Mirren was on Conan last night talking about the time she almost got to perform with one of rock's greatest stars, now long gone.

"I heard this incredible crashing and banging coming from the ally where the stage door is. [T]his completely drunken guy was climbing out of a trash can, covered in trash and with a pin-striped suit on. A complete madman. Then I heard the crashing and banging coming through the stage door, and up the stairs..."

"I opened the door and it was Keith Moon. He said, 'Hello darling, I hear you're wonderful in this play.' I said, 'It's nice to meet you, but I have to go onstage now.' He said, 'That's all right, I'll come with you. I'll come and play in your band.' I'm so idiotic. I said, 'No, you can't.'

"One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't play on stage with Keith Moon." [Starpulse; and why Keith Moon was the greatest rock star ever]

Rush Limbaugh thinks Hillary's fan base is mainly feminists, defined as women who have had "two or three abortions" and as many divorces.

Speaking of terrorists like Rush Limbaugh, did you remember to submit to "Ask Al Qaeda"?

Maybe someone should ask Zawarhi if he's as excited as we are by the Jim Carrey-Ewan McGregor prison romance film. Hopefully, it's, um, not going to be a remake of "Midnight Express."

Dita Von Teese's instantly legendary lesbian porno, which apparently may get her dropped as the new spokesperson for Wonderbra, is circulating on the 'net. Above is a censored screenshot, and below the NSFW reverse angle. Again, no embed-able vids have surfaced, but click here for an external site that features it.

Funniest, Most Cringe-Worthy Video of the Day

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Conan O'Brien makes a great case for ending the writers strike with this video. Not because this hilarious extra-long clip co-starring Stephen Colbert and John Stewart isn't hilarious at times. Rather, the length of this sketch is clearly meant to cover for the fact that no one is writing gags for the redheaded Wilt Chamberlin.

Our Long National Nightmare of Talk Show Reruns Is Now Over

Bryan Christian — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:09:00 GMT

As you no doubt are aware, you no longer have to go out and find willing sexual partners to keep yourself occupied late nights, Monday thru Friday: the network talk shows are back. We couldn't bring ourselves to watch Leno, since even on a good day, his Tonight Show material is only half-jokes, with the other half dedicated to non-joke observations engineered to garner applause rather than make people laugh, and that makes us crazy. (Also: Mike Huckabee creeps us out.) Anyway, it doesn't sound like we missed much since the big news coming from his show was that he probably broke WGA strike rules by pre-writing a monologue.

We did, however, catch most of Letterman and Conan (and, predictably, none of Craig Ferguson), and had considered liveblogging them as we had done the Victoria's Secret fashion show, but it was late and we were hard at work on other things, and besides we can't commit to watching anything all the way through if Robin Williams is involved. Suffice it to say that if a liveblog of this stuff is what you're after, you can have it. IOHO, while the shows seemed only slightly more shaggy-dog than normal (writers or no), the most interesting thing about them was that the hosts showed up thoroughly scruffy. Keep it up, gentlemen, we think ya look great (and we give facial hair an inordinate amount of thought)!

Daily Show and Colbert return next week, perhaps in time to do cleanup on today's Iowa caucus but certainly in time to provide non-scripted, off-the-cuff commentary on the New Hampshire primary. We think there's a decent chance that, if anything innovative happens in late-night before this strike ends, that's where you're gonna find it. But maybe that's just wishful thinking.

Conan O'Brien's Priest Stalker A Lot Creepier Than the Horny Manatee

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 16:15:00 GMT

When betting on the next celebrity to be stalked, the odds on Conan O'Brien were 400/1. We had money on Catherine Zeta Jones (50/1), Ed Asner (200/1), and Sting (7/5). Conan doesn't seem like stalker's target at all. Should have known he'd end up with not just any stalker, but a priest stalker.

Follow the link for more grimy details.

Boston priest Rev. David Ajemian has been arrested for "sending multiple communications" to Conan O'Brien over the past 14 months. In one letter, Ajemian wrote, "I want a public confession before I ever consider giving you absolution - or a spot on your couch." He has also referred to himself as "your priest stalker" and complained about not being allowed to see a taping of the show. This story sounds too gimmicky to be true. Stalker Priest Guy should be a character that fills in on Late Night with Conan O'Brien when the Masturbating Bear is sick.

Conan O'Brien: Funny "Ha Ha" or Funny "Please Stop"?

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:51:00 GMT

In this video Conan O'Brien flips his lid over a fire alarm test. Half of Scanner thinks he's adorable, and the other half wouldn't kick Craig Ferguson out of bed for Conan. So it's safe to say we're torn. Is this outtake cute, or just cranky?