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While You Were Sleeping: Mad Men Getting Fired Up

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 May 2009 13:53:00 GMT

Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering decriminalizing marijuana altogether in California, possibly for budgetary reasons.

One of my celebrity crushes, Bebe Neuwirth, is now married.

Dumber-than-that-Carolina-contestant Miss California is in danger of losing her crown... or so they say.

Mad Men is back in production, with I Shot Andy Warhol's Jared Harris joining the cast for next season.

Gisele Bundchen may be pregnant.

We hate to admit it, but we can't get enough of the President and Vice President doing silly shit like driving to Virginia to eat at a hamburger place with the word "Hell" in its name.

Up until last night, we were in New Orleans, where this man is suing the police for one dollar over his right to wear a skirt in public.

Another reason for 50 Cent to goof on him: Rick Ross keeps his sunglasses on during sex.

And Jennifer Hudson and Rihanna both canceled shows.

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Did You Miss The Sex Workers' Art Show Tour?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:50:00 GMT

If you missed them this week in Virginia and North Carolina, don't fret-- we have the lowdown on the Sex Workers' Art Show's Limited 2009 Dirty South Tour...

According to the official website, tour participants included World Famous *BOB* (top) and porn star Lorelei Lee (above.) The tour's focus was on "spoken word, music, drag, burlesque, and multimedia performance art. Intelligent and hot, disturbing and hilarious, the performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work, from celebration of prostitutes' rights and sex-positivity to views from the darker sides of the industry."

The promoters wanted "to dispel the myth that they are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses!" We don't know about that last part, especially with the exclamation point, but this attitude sure garnered a lot of attention.

In Williamsburg, Virginia, this week, conservative knuckleheads meddled as usual, trying to tell college students what they should and should not see. The only thing these people know about the First Amendment is that it comes before the one with the guns.

Last year, their devotion to this divisive annual event helped get their popular president Gene Nichol ousted by fire-breathing conservatives on the Board of Visitors and the state legislature.

Nichol opposed the show on principle, yet backed his students' decision and refused to ban it from campus.
His successor, W. Taylor Reveley, has done exactly the same, yet remains unsinged.

I'm not saying it's the students' fault Nichol was forced out. The fault lies with the hypocrites who used the sex show as one more briquette to burn him at the stake. [Daily Press]

Great job, right-wingers. You ousted an honest man and had him replaced with... a guy who also slightly disagrees with your Puritanical views. It's too bad there's no such thing as hell, because... well, maybe we're getting carried away. The show seems to have been a success in spite of all this political nonsense, and we look forward to seeing it further up the east coast...

Via the Sex Workers' Art Show website.

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The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

Michelle Williams Strips, Seduces, Enjoys

The Cross-Dressing Mafia Kingpin Makes Gangsters Seem So Much More Cuddly

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:39:00 GMT

The Italian movie Gomorrah, which is so controversial, everyone involved fears for their lives, including the author of the original novel, who has had to accept 24-hour police protection. Why? Because it involves the newer, much more sinister Mafia.

E! calls the movie a "bloody, dull business," and we have to agree. It's three hours of ruthless, pointless, loosely-connected scenes of graphic violence and no narrative thread to keep the audience engaged. Nonetheless, at least it has raised awareness of the Camorra (get the title's pun now?) and the modern European Mafia, which is threatening to become more powerful than Mexico's drug cartels...

Luckily, the police are making their move. Yesterday, they rounded up a bunch of Italian gangsters and other degenerates, including one woman who goes by the name "Kitty." It turns out that Kitty is actually Ugo Gabriele or-- snicker, snicker-- Gabriele Ugo, as some papers have reported "her." Gabby is actually a "big, burly dude," according to the police, and the world's first known transsexual Mafioso. (The closest was Vincent "the Chin" Gigante, who walked around in his bathrobe and pretended to be insane, but even he wasn't nutty enough to pretend to be a cross-dresser-- that would've gotten him whacked for sure.)

Gabby allegedly works for the Camorra out by the airport, running what else but a prostitution ring. How cliche of you, sir.

Blonde-Redhead Muslim Woman Sues Bar Over (Conservative) Red Dress

While You Were Sleeping: When MySpace Attacks...

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Scantily-Clad Baristas Attack Local Pervert... Ah, Gotta Love Washington State...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:20:00 GMT

A man dressed in women's underwear (including on his head and over his license plate) visited a Parkland, Washington coffee shop drive thru three times. It wasn't because of the coffee...

An unidentified perv returned each time to make sure the girls, all of whom were in bikinis as part of the shop's dress code, got a good look at his wang. One of them, however, had seen "very little" but already enough...

Here's the raw video:

He's seen arriving for the first time, grossing out a barista, and roaring off. The victim looks to her friend for help, but soon their expose-r is back for more. (Ladies, it's called "9-1-1.") On the second go around, they try to catch his license plate, but it's also covered in women's underwear. (Even his face is covered-- with one eye partly expose to get their reactions and, um, drive.)

Finally, the victim, who is referred to as "Kylie" in another video, was ready. When the joy rider pulled up for Round Three, Kylie tossed a cup of boiling hot water in his face, allegedly getting the man on his face and arms or legs, depending on who's telling the story in other reports. Guess what his reaction is, just before speeding off for the final time?

“Kylie opened the door and threw boiling hot water on his face and his chest and he said 'oooh yeah...'"

Once again: nine-one-one, everybody. Taking matters into your own hands maybe playing into theirs...

Video clip via LiveLeak. Top image and quote from KIROTV.

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Apparently, A Naked Woman Is Automatically Lewd And/Or Erotic Now

Boobs On Bikes Rides Again, Despite Violent Anti-Violence Protests

Billionaire Pervert Turns Himself In To Face Jail, Butt Sex

Eddie Izzard To Run For Parliament

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:33:00 GMT

It sounds like Eddie Izzard, the British comedian and star of FX's The Riches, will quit acting at the end of the show's run to launch a career in politics...

We're guessing that, based on his residency and outspoken nature, he'll run for Parliament.

Do you want to run for office?
Yeah. Don't you think I should?

Sure. Why not?
If you think I should and I think I should, then I should. I do like people and trying to make things work. We've got to make it work in Europe. People are very worried about sovereignty and the loss of sovereignty. I think the stakes are if we don't make the European Union work, then the world is screwed. End of story.

Do you have any big ideas for Europe?
Logical governance is the thing. It already exists. It's called subsidiarity, which is based on Catholic theology and is basically the idea that governance happens at its logical level.

Unfortunately, neither Barack Obama nor Hillary Clinton landed the big Eddie Izzard endorsement in the Newsweek piece. The comic simply says, "I want a Democrat to get in." (Ironically, it's the party's non-endorsement of one of the two candidates that will make it so much harder for a Democrat "to get in." Nonetheless, we're really looking forward to the "Stripped" tour, especially since we've never been a fan of his "Dress To Kill"/drag thing, as pictured above.)

Via Newsweek.

Cross Dressing Criminals Strike Again

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 17:22:00 GMT

Looks like this is shaping up to be the week of cross-dressing criminals. First it was the terrorist bride, then last night, three cross-dressing hillbillies busted into a Memphis McDonald's to pick a fight with the restaurant's crew. We can't wait to see where they'll strike next! A Hillary Clinton rally? The Oprah Show audience? America's Next Top Model?