Scanner : david paterson

Maine Becomes The Sixth State to Legalize Gay Marriage... If You Don't Count That Whole California Debacle

Emily Farris — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:34:00 GMT

Today Maine became the fifth state in the U.S. to legalize gay marriage (you know if you don't count that whole on-again, off-again California thing). Governor John Baldacci signed the same-sex marriage bill passed by the state legislature, saying he changed his mind.

Baldacci said he reversed his position on gay marriage after deciding it was a matter of equal protection under the state’s Constitution.

“It’s not the way I was raised and it’s not the way that I am,” the governor said in a telephone interview. “But at the same time I have a responsibility to uphold the Constitution. That’s my job, and you can’t allow discrimination to stand when it’s raised to your level.”

Our super-stylish hat's off to you Governor Baldacci. Now if only New York's Governor Paterson could guide the State Senate toward the rainbow-colored light. Oh, wait...

[New York Times: Maine Governor Signs Same-Sex Marriage Bill]

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Topless Coffee Shop Opens In Maine, Not Without Controversy, Bottoms

Happy Birthday: Woman Busted With 16 Grams In Her Vagina

BREAKING: Gay Marriage Now Legal in... IOWA?!

The Gay Marriage Debate Rages on in California

Gay Bishop is About to Get All "Gay Bishop" on Your Ass

Candidate for Gov. of GA Admits to Having Sex... with a Mule

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 01 May 2009 17:50:00 GMT

Back in 2005, radical right-wing protofascist Christian Neal Horsley admitted to FoxNews anchor Alan Colmes that he had, at the age of 11 in 1955, engaged in unlawful carnal knowledge with a mule. In other words, he raped a mule and confessed to the crime on live radio.

That hasn't stopped the scary-as-hell Georgian from announcing he is running for Governor...

NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

AC: "I'm not so sure that that is so."

NH: "You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"

AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

All his opponents have to do to get rid of Horsley (oh, if only it had been an equestrian indiscretion!) is to send that interview out as a mailer for three days straight at the end of the campaign. Of course, Horsley isn't much of a challenger-- he's running on the Creator's Rights Party platform. And his campaign is going about as well as David Paterson's in New York. From Daily Kos:

"We're talking about the mule now?"

Yes, he says. The mule.

"A small mule?" I ask.

"No, a full grown mule," he says. "She loved me, though."

We both laugh, but I'm still trying to figure out the logistics. How big is this thing? The size of a horse, he says.

"All I had to do was give her an ear of corn." He laughs again. "She was a [prostitute] mule."

"How did you reach?"

"I don't know... I stood on something. The kicker is, as soon as I was done she pissed all over me. It was embarrassing. I never told anyone that before."

Not only that, but Horsley has had sex with men. He was in the Air Force, it was a cold night, yadda, yadda, yadda, he had sex with him, ahem, the way he did the mule. "It was gross," he says.

It should come as no surprise to our readers, all of whom have read stories here about right-wing hypocrites and their laughably ignorant world views, to learn that this is a man who has been linked to the murderers of abortion doctors, thanks to his involvement with the Army of God, and is known to express anti-gay views. He's also the modern-day equivalent of a Confederate traitor to the United States, since he advocates secession over the legalization of abortion and told an interviewer he would kill his Army-Sarge son if sonny boy was sent out to stop him.

Asked if he was ready to sacrifice his own son in a national insurrection, Horsley recounts a fight with his son where he almost killed him.

“I was one foot from killing my own son, or hurting him really, really bad,” Horsley told Krider. “If he would have attacked me again, I would have stuck him. Or cut him or sliced him or done something to stop him. That’s the point, you[r] hypothetical has literally already been worked out with me, and that’s what makes me different from the other candidates for Governor. They understand I’m not like no politician they have looked at, ever. I am prepared to do a John Brown. I’m not prepared to do an Abe Lincoln and talk out both sides of my mouth and try to get a majority together. I’m looking for the people who are prepared to go with me and take over the foundry, then set up shop and prepare to fight to the death. I’ll do it.” [Raw Story]

He is prepared to do a John Brown? Where is law enforcement when you need him? If we still have legalized executions in this country, why not put this guy on the list, for treason? Just kidding, that would be stooping to his level... or, should we say, "standing on something to get at him?"

Related:

Nevada Governor's Sex Scandal May Top Eliot Spitzer's

Politician Probably Should've Taken Down Scandalous Facebook Profile First

Cheerleading Coach In Hottest Nude Photo Scandal Ever

Top 10 Feminist Icons... From A Male (Part Two)

18-Year-Old Boy Arrested in Most Bizarre Sex Tape Bust Yet

This Week in Gayness: Boycott Jamaica

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 19:42:00 GMT

Gawker broke down the Amazon gay scandal.

Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons, who, as we reported earlier this week, is locked in a bitter divorce battle with the state's First Lady, doesn't "believe in" domestic partnership benefits.

A ruling on the legality of Prop 8 could come as early as Monday.

David Paterson introduced the gay marriage bill today in New York.

Has anyone besides us been cracking the hell up about all this "teabagging" business-- and not just because the Republicans are so unintentionally hilarious?

Gay marriage in Iowa has everyone riled up, especially the crazies.

Stop drinking Myers Rum and Red Stripe beer, say the owners of the Stonewall Inn.

An 11-year-old boy killed himself after enduring homophobic taunting in school.

Oh my God! There's a fucking gay elephant! Let's freak the fuck out about it for no reason!

Who Knew There Were So Many California Doctors Against Gay Marriage? [VIDEO]

This Week in Gayness: Matt Drudge Does Not Love Gay Sex With Men

This Week in Gayness: Sacha Baron Cohen's Gay Sex

Gay Bishop is About to Get All "Gay Bishop" on Your Ass

While You Were Sleeping: Gay Marriage in New York State?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:15:00 GMT

This adorable cat is a master clothing thief.

Lindsay Lohan says she's humiliated by her breakup with Samantha Ronson. If we were a hot movie star and Sam Ronson dumped us, we'd be pretty upset, too. Oh, and Ronson denies she took out a restraining order, but anyway...

Our favorite political story of the year so far: "Dead Mayor reelected"

OctoCrazy's inheritance and some overtime funded the in vitro. So now you know how she made all that rent money she burned.

Mounties grow mustaches to support charity-- can't wait for the "After" photos.

Obama congratulated the Tar Heels coach with a phone call from Air Force One.

Are you a habitual job hopper?

This Zac Efron-Vanessa Hudgens Funny or Die video featuring a star-studded cast is well worth your time. Just be careful where you watch it-- there are a few LOL moments.

Gay porn star Jack Wrangler died. He had been married to a woman for many years. The interesting details are here.

Embattled New York State Governor David Paterson said he will introduce a bill to legalize gay marriage. Fingers crossed...

Zac Efron's Sexual Awakening

Zac Efron Mud Wrestles A Nude Model

Sloppy Seconds: What Pete Wentz Likes Even More Than Taking Pictures of His Penis

Emily Farris — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 00:21:00 GMT

Must politicians from states like Texas and Colorado always be photographed wearing cowboy hats? [NYT]

Celine Cawley who played a party girl in the James Bond film A View to Kill with Roger Moore is dead at 46 after being beaten to death on the patio of her Dublin home Tuesday. [Radar]

New Yorkers, if Governor Paterson wants puts tax on all of the entertainment you download, does this mean you'll soon be paying more for porn? (ProfRobert?) [Vulture]

We should probably be excited instead of creeped out by this facial transplant, right? [People]

In an interview with Howard Stern, Pete Wentz wanted everyone to know that he and his wife, Ashlee Simpson Wentz, "have an amazing sex life." And then he took it there: "It was at the Soho Grand Hotel [in New York City], and I'm looking in the mirrors, [thinking], 'Oh my God, you are [sleeping with] the girl of your dreams, and you can watch yourself!'" he said. [Us]

New York to Follow California in Legalizing Gay Marriage?

Emily Farris — Thu, 29 May 2008 15:16:00 GMT

No, not exactly, but the Empire State is one step closer to being as cool as California.

New New York Governor David Patterson has told state agencies to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states and countries where it is legal.

The governor's legal counsel told state agencies in a May 14 memo to revise policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in California and Massachusetts as well as Canada and other countries that allow gays and lesbians to marry, said Erin Duggan, the governor's spokeswoman.

The memo informed state agencies that failing to recognize gay marriages would violate the New York's human rights law, Duggan said.

The directive follows a February ruling from a New York state appeals court. That decision says that legal same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions are entitled to recognition in New York.

While this isn't the best possible news for gay New Yorkers, it's pretty great news. And while Paterson isn't the hero of gay rights, at least he's not the bad guy, right? Smooth move, DP.

[CNN: New York to recognize gay marriages]

Sloppy Seconds: Barack Obama's Hip Hop Cameo

Emily Farris — Fri, 23 May 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Yes, yes. We've all heard that Lindsay Lohan might be more than just BFF with gal pal Samantha Ronson. Can't we all stop staring and just be happy that Lilo may have found love? But we know you like to watch girls make out. [Yeeeah!]

See, some TV doctors will play doctors in real life when they need to. [MollyGood]

"Bodysnarking" sounds like a terrible fucking idea. [Jossip]

New New York Governor David Paterson pardoned Slick Rick for attempted murder in 1991. [Yahoo!]

Miley Cyrus so totally didn't know that people would look at her Vanity Fair pictures the way they did. Exactly, that's what parents are for. [Us]

Apparently Barack Obama will make an appearance on A Tribe Called Quest's Q-Tip's forthcoming album. [Guardian]

Get Your Ashley Alexandra Dupre Drink On

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 19:26:00 GMT

As Eliot Spitzer's career has gone to shit, another person's is about to take off, and no, we're not talking about Spitzer's replacement, new New York Governor David Paterson. Like everyone else in the world, including us, Georgi Vodka wants to capitalize on the myth, the woman, the legend that is Ashley Alexandra Dupre. We want her to write a book and Georgi wants put a blown-up shot of her ass on the back of every bus in New York City.

Martin Silver, chief executive of Star Industries — owners of the U.S. rights to the brand, said he is in talks to pay Dupre more than $100,000 to be this year's Georgi "butt girl," the annual pinup the brand places on city buses and taxicabs.

"The girl's butt we have on there now is pretty good, but if you can get (Dupre) to do it, and to make some personal appearances, it's like Paris Hilton or something," Silver told AdAge.com. "We are trying to work out a contract."

Additionally, they want to name the vodka "No. 9" —which, in case you live in a cave, was the code name the FBI used for Spitzer while they investigated the prostitution ring.

MNBC's idea for a new cocktail?

"The Spitzer Screwdriver: "No. 9" vodka and orange juice with a shot of schadenfreude. On the rocks ... just like his marriage."

They beat us to the punch line...

[MSNBC: From governor's paramour to vodka's 'butt girl]

(Thanks, Marco!)

The Governor's Love Child? The Post Thinks It's Real

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 17:47:00 GMT

And you thought the big news of the day would be Governor Richardson giving Barack Obama a crucial late endorsement? Nope.

According to Politics1:

The New York Post and the New York Sun are both spending serious resources chasing a story that newly sworn-in Governor David Paterson (D) possibly fathered an illegitimate son years ago with a woman who is today a Republican District Leader in New York City. According to the rather wild allegations, Governor Paterson convinced his brother Daniel to claim fatherhood of the boy to protect his political career. Reporters this week dogged the young man, 24, to Boston where he is a college student -- but he refused to comment. The mother has likewise refused interview requests so far. The young man was present for Governor Paterson's swearing-in ceremony this week. Paterson acknowledged to reporters this week that both he and his wife have each had several affairs during their marriage. Our guess is that the story goes nowhere -- and that nothing will surface proving these claims -- but it is sending reporters on a wild goose chase.

Paterson dismissed the allegation as nothing but a “sporadic rumour in Albany that I had a love child.” And with a Republican politician? Man, this guy may turn out to have more juicy shit on him than even his predecessor possibly could However, other than the above, we have no further information at this time.

We'll update as more gossip rolls in.

Photo: New York Times

Emergency "Which NY Governor Would You Rather" Re-Vote

Katie Halper — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Earlier this week, we asked you which extra-maritally engaged New York Governor you would rather "get behind." In case you missed it:

Now that Spitzer has been de-governized for "going after prostitution" a little overzealously, David Paterson has come clean about his extra-marital affairs. This, of course, begs the question: which NY Governor would you rather? The sexy Spitz? Or David "he's so hot he's legally blinding" Paterson?

We want to make sure you are informed voters. So before you cast your vote, look long and hard at their photographic record, which we should have included.

And remember. It's not the size of the governorship. It's the motion of the ~~ocean~~ gubernatorial motion.

Sloppy Seconds: How One Man Got-R-Dun

Emily Farris — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:44:00 GMT

New New York Governor David Paterson may owe his campaign fund $103.87 in principal and interest for monies borrowed during his extra-marital trysts. The Scanner collection plate is headed your way. We can all afford to throw in a few bucks to keep this guy around, right?

A man apparently hanged himself yesterday on a construction site owned by actor/ director/ Christian crusader Mel Gibson. Maybe he thought that he was closer to Jesus on Gibson-owned property?

How did Floyd Beebs come to have "Git-R-Dun" tattooed on his forehead?

Why, he did lots of crystal meth, of course.

Charges have been filed against the Kansas man who allowed his girlfriend to sit on the toilet for two years straight. "The only thing I am guilty of is I didn't get her help sooner," he told the press. Um, yes.

Not only is it the first day of spring, it's Wear a Sweater Day, in honor of Mr. Rogers' 80th birthday. We're going to put on a light cardigan and make the most of this beautiful day.

Which New York Governor Would You Rather?

Katie Halper — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:02:00 GMT

And the hits just keep on coming! Now that Spitzer has been de-governized for "going after prostitution" a little overzealously, David Paterson has come clean about his extra-marital affairs. This, of course, begs the question: which NY Governor would you rather? The sexy Spitz? Or David "he's so hot he's legally blinding" Paterson?

Which governor would you give your vote to?

Spitzer Resigns; Nation To Have First Blind Black Ninja Gov.

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:51:00 GMT

Is David Paterson the Staten Island Ninja Burglar?

What does it say when this whole Gov-luv affair has gotten so out of hand that you might actually have believed the part about the ninja? Well, New York's Lt. Gov may not be a ninja, and is probably not frequenting too many prostitutes (we hope, for the sake of the state), but the emerging details on Eliot Spitzer's personal life have been unbelievably absurd...

The man spent 80,000 clams on hookers... eight thousand American dollars? What does one buy with 80,000 American dollars anymore? (Okay, okay, we hear your jokes about "that could only buy you a blowjob, at best, in today's economy." Hardy har har.)

He is going to be in the divorce trial of the century-- three teenage daughters, a pissed off wife, money hidden (possibly) all over the country (you don't really think he got that $80G out of his salary, do you?), mistresses to come forward, his whole history of convictions against prostitution rings and even Wall Street will be questioned, as his ethics are looked into, and the State of New York will continue its downward spiral until New York City (yay!) is forced to secede from the Union. Which would rock.

Spitzer is expected to resign at any moment, but we'll keep you posted...

UPDATE: The Luv Gov to resign at 11:30am (EST) news conference...

UPDATE: The Luv Gov is about to be live on CNN. David Paterson, the Lt. Governor, is the first blind Governor and only the third black Governor since Reconstruction (i.e. fucking ever.) CNN reports that signs of "money laundering led [the FBI] to a wiretap" in which they ensnared the Governor in a prostitution-related phone call. He could be charged with a crime by the US Attorney's office any day now, which is apparently the main reason he is going to resign. CNN also claims that the First Lady of New York wanted him to stay the course. Not sure she will stay the course. (11:40AM.)

UPDATE: Spitz resigned at 11:45-ish AM. Paterson will assume the helm on St. Patrick's Day, although he is not Irish.

UPDATE: The New York Post is reporting that Eliot Spitzer has used hookers at least since 2002.

[Photo: NY Daily News]

[Previously on Scanner: Deep "That's What SHE Said" Thoughts On... Spitzer]

Scanner : david paterson

Maine Becomes The Sixth State to Legalize Gay Marriage... If You Don't Count That Whole California Debacle

Maine Wood Frogs More Despreate For Sex Than We Are

Topless Coffee Shop Opens In Maine, Not Without Controversy, Bottoms

Happy Birthday: Woman Busted With 16 Grams In Her Vagina

BREAKING: Gay Marriage Now Legal in... IOWA?!

The Gay Marriage Debate Rages on in California

Gay Bishop is About to Get All "Gay Bishop" on Your Ass

Candidate for Gov. of GA Admits to Having Sex... with a Mule

Nevada Governor's Sex Scandal May Top Eliot Spitzer's

Politician Probably Should've Taken Down Scandalous Facebook Profile First

Cheerleading Coach In Hottest Nude Photo Scandal Ever

Top 10 Feminist Icons... From A Male (Part Two)

18-Year-Old Boy Arrested in Most Bizarre Sex Tape Bust Yet

This Week in Gayness: Boycott Jamaica

Brando's Beej Shot

Who Knew There Were So Many California Doctors Against Gay Marriage? [VIDEO]

This Week in Gayness: Matt Drudge Does Not Love Gay Sex With Men

This Week in Gayness: Sacha Baron Cohen's Gay Sex

Gay Bishop is About to Get All "Gay Bishop" on Your Ass

While You Were Sleeping: Gay Marriage in New York State?

Disabled Girl May Win Runway Model Contest

Zac Efron's Sexual Awakening

Zac Efron Mud Wrestles A Nude Model

Sloppy Seconds: What Pete Wentz Likes Even More Than Taking Pictures of His Penis

New York to Follow California in Legalizing Gay Marriage?

Sloppy Seconds: Barack Obama's Hip Hop Cameo

Get Your Ashley Alexandra Dupre Drink On

The Governor's Love Child? The Post Thinks It's Real

Emergency "Which NY Governor Would You Rather" Re-Vote

Sloppy Seconds: How One Man Got-R-Dun

Which New York Governor Would You Rather?

Spitzer Resigns; Nation To Have First Blind Black Ninja Gov.