Scanner : death

Med Student Dies From Legal Party Drug

Colleen Kane — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:56:00 GMT

Med student and aspiring surgeon Hester Stewart was found dead in Brighton, England on Sunday after a party following an awards ceremony with her cheerleading squad. She died from a drug the kids are taking which has not yet been made illegal.

Hester's body was near a vial of the colorless, odorless liquid GBL (gamma-butyrolactone), which mixes with stomach acids to form GHB, aka the date rape drug, and it's available on the Internet legally. This is thought to be the third GBL-related death in the past year.

The kicker is that the UK's Home Office announced it would make the substance illegal a full eight months ago, declaring it "can lead to dependence, unconsciousness and even death by intoxication."

A spokesman explained why GBL is still available. "We are currently looking at the legislative options for control, to target the problems of misuse of GBL, which has a number of legitimate uses."

Of course even if the drug were illegal, that doesn't mean that someone who either chose to take the date rape drug or was slipped the date rape drug wouldn't have done it anyway. As to who was the responsible party in the drug-giving or taking, one of Hester's fellow partygoers said she took the drug herself, though of course her mother denies she ever would have done such a thing. No one is being charged with slipping her a mickey.

GHB Just Got a Brand New Street Name...

Barbara Ehrenreich Pulls a "Bait and Switch" Over Disney Princesses

Australian Toy Recall Resembles "CSI:Miami"

Sloppy Seconds: Because Breast Milk is Cheaper Than Cow's Milk?

Emily Farris — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:33:00 GMT

HBO is developing a new show called "Women's Studies." And we all know what that means. [AfterEllen]

Author JG Ballard, perhaps best known for his book "Empire of the Sun" is dead at 78. [Yahoo!]

If Pulitzer Prize winners are being laid off, is there any hope for us? [Portfolio]

Tennis star Andy Roddick married his girlfriend Brooklyn Decker on Friday. [People]

Though we never had the fear ourselves, we've always understood why certain kids were afraid of the toilet. Now kids everywhere have even more reason to steer clear of the porcelain sucking machine after a three-year-old got her foot stuck in the handle of one (how that happens we don't know) and firefighters had to rescue her. [Telegraph]

Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo is preggers. [Us]

Food made with breast milk is all the rage these days. Maybe it has to do with the price of cow's milk going up? Anyway, the newest breast milk product is cheese. A recent art exhibit in London featured the product. [APP]

Related:

Which Would The Hipster Rather: Breast Milk Cupcakes vs. Cow Milk Cupcakes?

Breast Milk: To Suckle Or Not To Suckle

[Image]

From the Annals of "Sassy": Kurt Cobain Wore an Engagement Ring

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:39:00 GMT

Can you believe it was 15 years ago that Kurt Cobain died? His body was discovered at his home in Lake Washington on April 8, 1994. To celebrate his life, the fine folks at I Heart Daily pulled out an old issue of "Sassy" (which, unfortunately met its end two years after the rocker) which featured Cobain and Courtney Love on the cover, shortly after the two were engaged. What stood out to us most was this little bit of sweetness:

"I mention that I saw their engagement announced on MTV when Nirvana's video was number one. Says Kurt, "It was embarrassing, but it was also kind of neat." Courtney says, "I thought it was kind of dorky." She's wearing an engagement ring, circa 1906, with a ruby or something in the middle. Kurt has one, too, an ornate band. "Sorry about this zit," she says, pointing to her cheek. "Zits are beauty marks," says Kurt.

—Sassy, April 1992

The entire article can be downloaded as a PDF here.

R.I.P. Kurt Cobain and "Sassy."

[I Heart Daily: Flashback: Kurt, Courtney and Sassy Magazine]

Related:

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C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome Worse than Celibacy, Death, or Sex with Zach Braff?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:29:00 GMT

The top story on MSNBC right now: "US Home Prices Slide By 19%, Sharpest Decline on Record." The most-read story, though: "11 Baffling Medical Conditions," which the page on Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome leading the charge.

Before you get all excited about catching this illness, wait till you read about the symptoms...

While PSAS sounds like it could revive a floundering sex life, it's more likely to drive you batty first.

However, for the women who experience PSAS -- which causes them to live perpetually at the brink of orgasm -- the condition is a nightmarish curse. And up until 2001, it was a curse that didn't even have a name.

Relief from the condition is often as elusive as sympathy. The sensations, which are not brought about by fantasies or other sexual thoughts, are often only partially relieved through orgasm. For some women, even sex does not help quell their arousal, and on occasion can even make the sensations worse.

"To me this is a sickness," [Heather] Dearmon [a 34-year-old South Carolina woman] said. "This is not, it's not something we've chosen. ... I would rather never have another orgasm in my life for the rest of my life than to have this problem." [MSNBC]

Since so few women are willing to come forward, research and progress on developing a cure has never really gone anywhere. You have to wonder how many women are out there, perpetually on the brink of orgasm, and suffering quietly through work, carpools, drinks with friends, and so on...

Photo via Babble. By the way, we chose that photo because it was the first one that came up in Google Image when we searched for "persistent sexual arousal syndrome."

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I Need Whiskey Flavored Condoms Like I Need a Hole in My Head

Meet the Orgasm Coach

While You Were Sleeping: John Mayer's Penis

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:09:00 GMT

Jason Segel has no luck with women, claims the Post.

Really dig this Tropic of Cancer-inspired photo. [NSFW]

George W. Bush is writing a book on "the most important decisions of his presidency." Since those were all made by Cheney, we wonder why they're calling this an autobiography.

It was a setup. Big Joe is gonna be so pissed.

Ooh, Twilight fans-- some of the cast may be sneaking into the midnight DVD release parties.

Three people robbed Victoria's Secret of $3,400 worth of panties.

Natasha Richardson died from a skiing injury yesterday at age 45.

John Mayer Tweeted that his penis fell asleep. And no, it didn't have anything to do with his relationship with Jennifer Aniston.

And this guy thought he was on his deathbed, so he confessed to decades-old murder charges he'd bailed on. Whoops.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Top Models Brawl

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

Charlie Sheen's wife gave birth to twin boys. Wonder what that childhood's gonna be like...

Political turncoat Ron Silver died of cancer at the age of 62. Silver was most recently known for appearing on The West Wing.

An arrest warrant was issued for Lindsay Lohan over the weekend; she faces a hearing today.

The right-wing came out swinging at Jon Stewart over the Jim Cramer-Brawl Street business, none more pathetically than Tucker Carlson, who denied being a "partisan hack."

At an America's Next Top Model cattle call (that's a term, not a slur) in New York, three women were arrested when some idiots yelled "there's a bomb," probably to cut ahead in line, and a full-on brawl/stampede ensued.

Lionel Richie worried that his female fans would stop throwing their panties at him if he became a grandfather.

This trailer makes painting seem so badass.

Race to Witch Mountain easily dethroned The Watchmen over the weekend.

And how would you like this job? Kylie Minogue was paid $1 million for performing a single song for Bollywood.

Sloppy Seconds: Wanda Sykes Says "I Do"

The Rise and Fall of Lindsay Lohan

Today in the Apocalypse: Barbie Got Even Skinnier

Famous Last Words

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:20:00 GMT

Why is it that celebrities are able to muster more creative energy than they've had in years to consistently utter their unforgettable last words?

Take, for example, the curious case of Dylan Thomas, poet, raconteur, and mainly raconteur who drank himself to death via shots of whiskey at New York City's White Horse Tavern before staggering back to the Chelsea Hotel, more than a dozen blocks later, and collapsing in its now-famous lobby. His immortal last words?

"Eighteen whiskeys... that must be some sort of a record."

Of course, the reason that all these famous last words are so, well, famous is that they are exaggerated and that the circumstances surrounding them are mostly unsubstantiated myths.

Here's what really happened to Dylan Thomas... according to Wikipedia, of course:

Thomas.. said that we was feeling awful and asked to take a "rain-check". He did however accompany Liz to the White Horse for a few beers. Feeling sick he again returned to the hotel.

[Dr.] Feltenstein came to see him three times that day, on the third call prescribing morphine. This seriously affected Dylan's breathing. At midnight on November 4/5, his breathing became more difficult and his face turned blue.

By 1:58 am Thomas had been admitted to the emergency ward at nearby St Vincent’s, by which time he was profoundly comatose. The doctors on duty found bronchitis in all parts of his bronchial tree, both left and right sides. An X-ray showed pneumonia... and Thomas died on November 9.

Here's where the myths started:

During an incident on 3 November 1953, Thomas returned to the Chelsea Hotel in New York, from the White Horse Tavern and exclaimed, "I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that is a record." However, the barman and the owner of the pub who served Thomas at the time, later told Ruthven Todd, that Thomas couldn't have imbibed more than half that amount, after Todd decided to find out.

Despite shattering that myth, here's a set of famous last words that have stood the test of time. If we're half this witty when the time comes, we must've done something right in life:

Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.
-Beethoven, died in 1827

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
-Bogart, 1957

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-Pancho Villa, 1923
I know you have come to kill me. Shoot, coward. You are only going to kill a man.
-Ernesto "Che" Guevara, 1967
How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?
-P.T. Barnum, 1891
Codeine . . . bourbon.
-Tallulah Bankhead, 1968
Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
-Oscar Wilde, 1900

But our favorite famous last words are those of former US President John Adams, who died on July 4, 1826. His bitter rivalry with Thomas Jefferson (the POTUS #3 to his POTUS #2) continued to his dying day, upon which Adams muttered, "And Thomas Jefferson still survives." As it turns out, Jefferson had actually died earlier that day, but Adams did not learn this before passing on.

Jefferson's last words? "Is it the Fourth?"

Related:

The Greatest Dive Bars: The White Horse Tavern

Who Would You Rather: Founding Fathers Edition

Today in the Apocalypse: 17-Year-Old MADD Volunteer Hosts Quiet Gathering...

Exploding Office Chair Kills Man, Um, Anally

Emily Farris — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:25:00 GMT

You do the math. Oh, right, this doesn't really make sense does it? Let us try to offer you a bit of an explanation.

According to Gizmodo:

A 14-year-old boy in China was killed when his chair exploded, sending chunks of metal into his rectum. The bleeding this caused killed him. The alleged explosion came from the gas cylinder that was in the base of the chair, the part that allowed the user to adjust the seat up and down.

Is this even POSSIBLE?

[Gizmodo: Boy Killed Anally When Office Chair Explodes]

Related:

Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

Because We're Twisted: The World's 10 Most Ironic Deaths

Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

Is This Another Murder-Coverup of a Black Man?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:03:00 GMT

Police in Mississippi want you to believe that Billey Joe Johnson, Jr. died of a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head while in park during a routine traffic stop. Police want you to forget that Billey Joe was black, his girlfriend was white, and that the angry white father keeping them apart was a friend of the police officer on the scene.

They also want you to forget that the official report has one glaring inconsistency in the death of an all-star high school football player weighing several major scholarship opportunities.

But Johnson's family and the NAACP are questioning whether Johnson died from a self-inflicted gunshot. A lawyer for the family has said Johnson's wounds did not appear to be consistent with a shotgun wound.
Willie Gaines, head of the George County chapter of the NAACP, said he, like many others in the community, believes Johnson had too much to live for to take his own life. The morning of his death, he was scheduled to attend an awards banquet. [Denver Post]
A witness heard two shots, not one, at the scene where Billey Joe died, according to an independent investigation launched by the Mississippi NAACP. The pathologist in that investigation has indicated that it would be impossible for a bullet from a self-inflicted shot to enter in the manner that it did. He also said that given the length of Billey Joe's arms and the length of the shotgun, it would have been impossible for him to hold the weapon and fire it at himself. [dead link, via Color of Change e-mail]

Even with this evidence, will the truth ever come out? Did the cop shoot Johnson? Did the father of his girlfriend, who had been ordered not to see the boy? All we know is that on the night in question, Johnson tapped on the girl's window, where her mother was waiting or hiding or happened to be passing by in the inside hallway. The mother called the police and Johnson took off. Color of Change notes: "This fact was not a part of the original story given by the police."

Later, he was stopped for what the police say was a pair of traffic violations: running a red light and blowing a stop sign. The cop claims he was taking Johnson's driver's license back to the car when he heard a shot and the sound of glass shattering. He turned and saw Johnson's last moments...

Cringeworthy Story of the Day: Inmate Tries to Cut Off His Own Penis With....

Accused Murderer Is Italy's Woman of the Year

While You Were Sleeping: The Next Major Blockbuster Is...

Today is the Day the Music Died

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:49:00 GMT

On February 3, 1959, a small chartered airplane carrying rock 'n roll singers and virtual superstars Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper (alias of J.P. Richardson) crashed in an Iowa field, killing them instantly.

While everyone knows this story, recounted in the famous tribute "American Pie," a #1 single by Don McLean, the so-called "Day the Music Died" is most interesting for all the many strange and unusual turn of events that led Holly, Valens, and Richardson to fly that plane...

Here are the more memorable coincidences, fateful decisions, and other story elements we've retained from numerous news stories over the years:

1) There was never supposed to be a plane. Even back then, rock stars had a large touring bus in which to commute to their endless gigs. Unfortunately, they were doing a Midwestern tour in the winter and their ride's heating system had collapsed.

2) They were supposed to have the next day off. Greedy promoters spotted an open date on the tour itinterary and called a ballroom owner in Moorhead, Minnesota, eventually the plane's intended destination, and secured a booking.

3) Richie Valens wasn't supposed to be on the plane at all. He flipped for a seat with the touring guitar player and won his spot.

4) The Big Bopper didn't have a seat on the plane either. (In fact, the singer Dion would've been the fourth famous singer killed that day if he hadn't of balked at the $36 airfare.) In perhaps one of the most important moments in both rock and roll and modern country music, Waylon Jennings had the final spot on the plane, but gave it up to the whining Richardson. When Buddy Holly spotted Waylon leaving the aircraft with his belongings, he jokingly snapped, "Well, I hope you're ol' bus freezes up." Jennings laugh and shot back, "Yeah, well, I hope your ol' airplane crahses." No wonder the man drank himself to oblivion in his later years...

5) The pilot wasn't an experienced nighttime flyer and was misinformed about weather conditions. It is said that poor visibility and a lack of sufficient operating instruments were likely leading contributors in the crash, which killed the pilot on impact.

Looking for something uplifting after all this? Thanks to the magic of technology, the great work these gentlemen did before their untimely deaths is preserved for all time... here's Buddy Holly, for starters:

Related:

Top 10 Cover Songs of All-Time

The Saddest And Most Hopeful Story in Rock & Roll

The Beatles Get Back to Where They Once Belonged

While You Were Sleeping: Mickey Rourke's Wrestling Career

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:58:00 GMT

John Landis, the director of the Thriller video, is suing Michael Jackson, who wants to do a Broadway musical of the hit song.

This is the funniest prisoner escape story we've yet come across.

Here's how we really do not want to die: sitting on a toilet, having just masturbated with a gas mask over our faces, discovered by a co-worker, on our second day on the job.

Blackwater has been denied a license to kill operate in Iraq.

Cindy Adams weighs in on the Oscar buzz (now they're saying Sean Penn will win Best Actor) and celebs griping about photographers.

The latest White House rumor? Michelle Obama is pregnant.

And Mickey Rourke will not participate in Wrestlemania after all. He was probably joking around-- either that or they didn't offer him enough moolah.

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Londoners Knew How to Drink Us Under the Table

Sloppy Seconds: Job-Sanctioned Sex

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20 Most Amazing Coincidences... or Hoaxes?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:46:00 GMT

This is an oldie, but when we'd never seen before: Daily Cognition's list of the 20 Most Amazing Coincidences. Some of them have to be hoaxes, as a few of these stink worse than a dumpster at the Pike Place Market, but the rest will blow your cynical little minds...

It's an epic story, requiring at least 45 minutes of your time to pore through, but here are the highlights:

1) James Dean's car went on to kill at least 2 more people and injure several others over the years. Parts of it went into other cars and the rest of it collapsed and eventually broke into nearly a dozen different pieces.

2) A man saved a falling baby on two different occasions. Same baby, same man's head that broke the fall. This one we can't seem to believe-- but the world used to be a smaller place...

3) A guy almost got shot in the face by his scorned lover's crazed brother. Instead of killing him, the bullet nicked his face and lodged itself in a tree. Years later-- and this is the part we don't believe-- the survivor decided to destroy that same tree... with dynamite. You see where this is going, don't you? Indeed, he blew up the goddamn tree-- causing the bullet to fire out, hitting the guy in the face, killing him instantly.

4) Two twins are separated at birth, both are eventually named James, grow up to enter "law enforcement" (a vague enough description to qualify as a coincidence), marry women named Linda, have sons named James Alan (or James Allan), get divorced, and remarry women named Betty. Also, they had dogs named-- what the hell-- Toy. We're guessing it might be true that our lives are preordained, although the fact that this story was published by Reader's Digest calls the whole truth of it into question.

5) Our favorite: when Norman Mailer was writing his widely panned novel Barbary Shore, he decided to randomly work in a Russian spy character. Upon the book's completion, the Feds conducted a major raid on his upstairs neighbor's apartment, arresting the top Russian spy working in America. Mailer must've known, damn it...

Check out the rest, including the book that predicted the Titanic up to and including the reason it would sink and the woman who discovered her childhood favorite book-- and her own copy of it-- half a world away...

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Sloppy Seconds: Evan Rachel Wood Goes There, We Lose Our Lunch

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 23:07:00 GMT

Novelist John Updike is dead at 76. [AFP]

Don Draper on 30 Rock is going to give us serious sensory overload, and we're going to like it! Here's a preview: [Vulture]

Perv alert! Naked Broadway star ~~Harry Potter~~ Daniel Radcliffe invited Sasha and Malia Obama to "Hogwarts." We've not read Harry Potter so that probably sounds a lot dirtier and more grown up than it really is. [People]

Bill O'Reilly called Jessica Alba "dumb" and she did not like it. Not one bit. [Us]

News flash: Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement (from "Flight of the Conchords" for those of you who live in a cave) are not poor in real life. Did we really need a news story to tell us that? Um, apparently, we did. [Yahoo!]

21-year-old Evan Rachel Wood was spotted making out with her 56-year-old on-screen dad Mickey Rourke last night. Gag us with a lock of his greasy hair! [FOXNews]

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen Sends Topless Pic To Wrong Guy

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Marcia Cross' husband is being treated for cancer.

Tens of millions of credit/debit card numbers were compromised in a major security breach. The biggest problem-- we don't know which numbers were affected.

Amy Winehouse's father says she was near death on two occasions. Only two? We're guessing that's counting "continuously for 14 months" as one of the occasions...

Is this the kissing capital of the world? No, but the legend's pretty good.

This is the scariest police officer ever. And that includes the guy who attacked the Times Up cyclist.

We've all worried about calling the wrong "Steve" or "Jessica" in our phones, but now Lily Allen's got us freaked out about picture messaging our phone photos to the wrong person.

A 107-year-old African-American woman who knew MLK when he was a kid was beyond thrilled by Obama's inauguration.

And Ted Kennedy, who collapsed during the inaugural luncheon, having suffered a seizure, appears to be improving and is expected to leave .

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The Facebook Pages of the Italian Mafia

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 18:29:00 GMT

We always suspected La Cosa Nostra had infiltrated Facebook from prison but, until now, we haven't had the proof...

Bernardo Provenzano, seen above, also known as The Tractor for "mowing people down," started out as an enforcer in Corleone, Sicily, after the second World War. After whacking his boss, the heat from the cops and other mafioso caused him to go into hiding, where he remained for more than forty years, thanks to rumors of his demise being greatly exaggerated. When he finally turned up, Provenzano was living in a farmhouse outside Corleone, not far from his wife and children. Thanks to having been sentenced in absentia to life in prison, he spends his days reading Dante and, according to this story in today's Telegraph, updating his Facebook profile.

Here's Provenzano's fan page and his regular Facebook profile is linked on this page-- you have to add him as a friend to see the full profile. The same goes for fellow gangster Salvatore "the Beast" Riina, who has a fan page here and a regular profile, linked here. Both men claim thousands of "friends" and fans, who leave comments like "fuck the government" and "we love you, you're great." Provenzano has a page in which supporters petition for his canonization-- even if you love the Mob, you still have to wonder what these people did to deserve sainthood. (Contrary to other news reports, the Facebook profiles for Messina Denaro, the current "boss of bosses," all appear to be fakes.)

Meanwhile, Mafia Wars is the most popular new Facebook application...

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While You Were Sleeping: Tara Reid Back To The Booze

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Guess who's to blame for the continued conflicted in Gaza? The United States, that's who-- they blocked a UN resolution calling for an end to the fighting. (Not that it would've done a damn thing to stop the assault.)

Have you been buying Pepsi from the Atlanta plant? (First of all-- why are you buying Pepsi?) It turns out they are using illegal Mexican Pepsi.

Marijuana has been decriminalized in ~~Drugachusetts~~ Massachusetts (for the most part) and cops are refusing to hand out tickets because the law is "poorly" written. Now, we've got it-- just start passing laws that sound like they're restricting drugs, but make them so ridiculous, no one can prosecute. This is how we'll sneak past those right-wing nuts who think the War on Drugs is working.

What kind of moron calls 911 to complain that she's driving drunk? A moron who, unlike most, at least knows that she needs help.

Click here to see men with wings fly around mountains. No stinkin' jetpacks for these dudes.

Tara Reid has already checked out of rehab after only three weeks. Think she's cured?

We're not really sure what's up with this case involving a 16-year-old girl accusing a guy of taking nude photos of her in the shower, and the guy's girlfriend, who claims she took the pictures and framed him for the crime.

Gosh darn it, Al Franken is officially the winner of the Minnesota Senate race. Until, of course, the Republicans sue the pants off the guy.

This invention will conserve water by recycling handwash as toilet water. It's better than you think.

And, as you probably know already, John Travolta's sixteen-year-old son died of a head injury incurred while suffering a seizure. Gawker, in a careful, roundabout way, considers Scientology at least partly to blame, saying Travola and wife Kelly Preston "privileged their adherence to Scientology over their devotion to their son."

Sloppy Seconds: Kate Winslet's Secret

Three Men Jump 12-Year-Old Girl, Beat Her Up, Call Her A Hooker... Then Arrest Her

No, Wait, the Lithuanian Playboy Calendar Is What We Really Wanted

Scanner Highs and Lows: An Orgy of Holiday Weirdness

This Blog Has Been Rated NC-17

Scanner Highs and Lows: Auld Lang Syne

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:02:00 GMT

It seems like just last year that we were doing this...

Highs:

Hey, apparently, we're going to get laid more this year. We hope. Please.

We discussed the pros and cons of oral sex, without you.

We took a few days off.

We learned that Scanner Brian has better hair than he used to.

Then he showed us some funny pictures.

And reminded us how creepy we can all be sometimes.

Speaking of funny pictures, we made a carrot feel a lot better about himself.

We contemplated time travel.

We were rated NC-17.

Lows:

We learned just what kind of crazy, obsessive society we live in.

We worried some famous people would die.

We didn't get everything we wanted for Christmas.

We looked back at the lessons learned last year.

We found yet another reason to be glad we left New York when we did.

Teachers continue to believe children are the future, show them all the beauty they posses inside.

We were disappointed by the updated "Joy of Sex."

The Greatest Dive Bars: The Comfort Zone

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:55:00 GMT

We can't say for sure that this bar qualifies as a dive, since it's more of a dance club than a place with, say, a jukebox and your Uncle Morty, sporting a fedora, downing Old Crow in the corner; however, we'll take the reader's suggestion and include Toronto's notorious Comfort Zone on our list for two incredibly good reasons.

1) This review, which appears on iBegin:

If its normal to you to shit backwards on a toilet seat and just leave it, its the place to go, if its normal to clog sinks,flush plastic cups down the toilet,tear things out of the walls,its the place to go,if its normal to puke in the corners,leave all your shit,although big bins are just in front of you,its the place to go.
But they do have great music. Addy is just divine.Not to forget the staff.; - )
Please tip the cleaners,show them respect for being able to keep up with your people, they are having a hard time,trying to keep the toilets okay, they have to stay out there 24/ 7 just to keep up. God bless the cleaners.

2) And this story, which appeared in the March 17, 2007 edition of Eye Weekly:

The police raid early Sunday morning at the Comfort Zone at Spadina and College, resulting in approximately 150 people being investigated and released and 33 arrested and charged, came as little surprise to anyone who encountered tweaking patrons squinting into the street on weekend afternoons. The club’s location, in the basement of the Silver Dollar Room of the Waverly Hotel, is next door to the Scott Mission shelter and soup kitchen — an intersection where decorum is limited and the finest dining option remains Burger King.

But the mother of Andrew Fazio, the 26-year-old from Hamilton who died of an accidental overdose in January after visiting the club, took no solace in this matter-of-fact when it was raised at a police media conference this afternoon.

Others have questioned whether the club should have remained opened after the bust-- observers noted hard drugs were still being sold openly, which some may view as an insult to the guy who died. After all, shouldn't the club at least be worried it will happen again on their watch?

Nonetheless, most locals enjoy the vibe and the "dirty electro house beats." One noted on iBegin that it's the only place he can go and dance all night, sans shirt, without being bothered. But remember, we warned you about the other side of the coin:

Can someone say crystal meth? This is what this place seems to be all about. A drug dealer's heaven.

Here's the Comfort Zone's official website, in case you're visiting. Above photo is not of the Comfort Zone.

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Who Knew North Dakota Had Such A Great Bar Scene?

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Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:19:00 GMT

After male superhero movie after male superhero movie after male superhero movie, Wonder Woman is finally going to the big screen—except not. It's going straight to DVD. And it's animated. [Jezebel]

Britney Spears equates her life to a jail sentence. [People]

Is Nicole Kidman going to be the next star to quit the biz? Yawn. [Yahoo!]

Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson Wentz are still waiting for that baby to pop out. [MTV]

Courtney Love would like you to know she's not suicidal after a crazy death rant on her MySpace blog. [Us]

Live From Death Row: A Killer's Last Words, Before His Life Was Spared

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:59:00 GMT

Jose Angel Moreno should be dead already.

He's a death row inmate in Texas, of all places, which means he's lucky he wasn't taken out and shot before his appeal even came up. This is not a dig at Texas-- this is a dig at how Texas State Government views the death penalty. And the fact that 23 years have passed since Moreno committed a murder-kidnapping and Moreno still hasn't been put to death is either a miracle or a travesty of justice, depending on which side you're on...

Anderson Cooper's 360 blog has a diary entry from Moreno in which he talks about the moments leading up to his own execution:

When your final visit is almost up, the warden (Hirsch) comes to pick you up. From that point on, every officer that has any dealings with you is a sergeant or higher, mostly lieutenants and captains. When you come out of the visiting room, there is a lot of freeworld people there. I didn’t recognize any, except the wardens. From there, you are escorted to a cage where you are searched thoroughly (you know, lift your feet and wiggle your toes, bend over and spread your ass-cheeks, then with the same hands stick your fingers in your mouth and pull your mouth open so they can check your other cheeks!) and given all brand-new clothing and cloth shoes.
The last thing Warden Hirsch says to me is, “Thanks for being a man about all this.”

Now, getting back to the death chamber. Once they get you out of the van and walk you the few feet to the holding area right next to the death chamber, they lock the door and repeat the process of removing the leg irons, belts, handcuffs and hog chain. They strip you right there in front of them (no cage necessary because there’s about 12 built or big rank all around you — a major or two, captains, and lieutenants). After they search you and dress you in their brand-new clothing, they allow you to walk over to the finger-printing booth (two sets of prints) and walk to their holding cell.
You know those huge 10-gallon containers they bring our juice/tea to the pods? Well, there’s three of them on the table. One with coffee, one tea, and I think one of juice. Then there’s milk cartons chilling on ice and a BIG silver platter with all sorts of sweets on it: cookies, buns, rolls, pastries, etc.

When the warden shows up, I think he is there to gauge how you are going to behave. He starts off by telling you what is going to happen. At 3 o’clock they will let you walk out of your cell and walk to the next cell where you will be behind a screen so you can visit with your spiritual advisor. The spiritual advisor visit lasts about an hour. Then, at 4, they will bring your last meal.
...you won’t see him no more until 6, when he comes to get you. He will say, “It’s time.” At that point, you will walk out of the cell and directly through that door (you can see it from the cell, it’s only about 10-15 feet), that’s the execution chamber. You will then be placed on the gurney and strapped down. Then two medically trained personnel will stand on each side and inject a catheter into each arm. Then he (warden) will stand behind your head and ask you if you have a last statement. He will give you about two minutes but is flexible, depending on what you are saying. He has two rules: 1) No profanity or cussing, and 2) It must be in English.

Then he tells you that if you get a stay, the chaplain will come inform you. Finally, he asks if you have any questions. It is at this time you are supposed to ask him to use the telephone and smoke cigarettes as per the instructions you will receive from the chaplain the day before. He tells you that the chaplain will provide the cigarettes and that you can call as many people as you want but the person must be in the continental U.S., and all phone calls will stop at 5.

So the warden leaves and I get right on the phone. I get some very sweet tea, a milk, and wait for him to light me a cigarette. The first person I talk to on the phone is my oldest (longest-lasting) friend, Linda. But I wasn’t doing much talking because I was trying to choke down my sobbing. (Sobbing is uncontrollable crying). It was at this point that it all made sense to me and I was more scared than I’ve ever been in my whole life.

Of course, since you're reading the journal entry, you know Moreno must've received a visit from the chaplain and that the chaplain let him know the execution had been stayed. Sure enough, as of this writing, Moreno lives in the only civilized country on earth that allows capital punishment.

Via CNN.

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The Saddest And Most Hopeful Story in Rock & Roll

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 14:55:00 GMT

We've wanted to tell you this story involving the Go-Betweens for a long time now, but never felt it had the ending it deserved.

The tale of this Australian band is one of the saddest in all of rock... and now, deservedly, one with a potential happy ending...

In 2006, we opened up a Village Voice and were stunned to learn that singer-songwriter Grant McLennan, founder of the band and one of its two absolute geniuses, had died suddenly, at 48, and just when things were turning around for him. After decades of baffling obscurity, with some of the catchiest singles since "I Wanna Hold Your Hand," Grant and his longtime collaborate, Robert Forster, were riding high on sales of their 2005 release Oceans Apart, which made many best-of lists and had built a word-of-mouth reputation.

On the night he was to propose to his longtime girlfriend, to bring some peace and stability to a life marred by family tragedy, poverty, and professional trials, McLennan took off his shoes and flopped out on his bed for a brief nap before the engagement festivities. Friends arriving for the party hours later found him having passed away, the autopsy revealing it to have been due to "a massive heart attack."

The tributes were immediate and reminded everyone why it was so shameful the public had ignored this man's songs for so long. Bono's U2 pointed out that Grant's first great song, "Cattle and Cane," was one of the greatest ever written, and likely the best Australian single ever.

We were crushed and unable to listen to anything, let alone the Go-Betweens, for days. It turned out-- so was everybody else, from Sleater-Kinney to U2 to Robert Forster, who was crushed more so than most. But just recently, something interesting began to happen: the Go-Betweens started to take off.

First, there was an Australian radio broadcast covering the Go-Betweens most essential release, 16 Lovers Lane, and a DVD of the broadcast. In the days following the program, Lovers Lane took off, landing at #2 on the iTunes download chart and setting off a wave of new stories about the band. In the midst of all this, Robert Forster's new album came out. We were surprised he could get it together to put something together on his own so soon after Grant's death.

Then we read this:

Q.: How did this all set in motion? Your press release said it was touch-and-go about whether you were ever going to make another record ever. If so, what made up your mind? What was the door opening?

Forster: No, no! I was always going to make an album. It was always my intent. Look, Jack, if even just to get out the Grant songs on the record — he and I were playing those songs. I wanted to make a record if only to get those three out to the world. “Demon Days,” “Let Your Light In, Babe,” and “It Ain’t Easy.” They’re the three that he had the music and the choruses to, and I’ve written the lyrics to, except the first five lines of “Demon Days” are his. The only thing is, I probably made the record a year earlier than what I thought it would be. Besides that, I always wanted to record. [Jesus, that's just beautiful friendship right there.]
Yes, after Grant died, I was in shock, and I was stunned, you know? But I knew I’d record, I just had to find my way out of the shock and the grief and just… I didn’t start playing with Adele [Pickvance, bassist] until like eight months after he died. It just took about that much time to do some songwriting. I was just very much within myself. And then I just phoned her up and we started playing. That was in February last year. But for seven or eight months, I was just taking my time... [Emusic]

And it was well worth it. Critics are already hailing the cuts here as among the best of the year, and the album, The Evangelist, is the year's subtle classic. So, in the end, the Go-Betweens may get their happy ending after all...

Cattle And Cane

Streets Of Your Town

Let Your Light In, Babe

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While You Were Sleeping: Halloween Edition

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

(Un-)happy Halloween, everyone: a woman's memories of life with her serial killer Dad.

A disturbing mugshot is the capper for a drama teacher's teaching career, which follows her arrest for having sex with three teenage boys.

A woman's dying wish was to vote for Barack Obama. Luckily, she cast her ballot (hopefully it'll be counted, goddamn it) and within the hour, she passed away.

Check out this creepy interview with Joe Francis, in which he claims Lindsay Lohan isn't a lesbian... even though she's a lesbian.

All kidding aside, this is truly horrible: Jennifer Hudson's nephew is believed to have shot dead in the SUV his body was found in.

A man was arrested for refusing to pay extra after a friend ate off his buffet plate. He was hauled off to jail kicking and screaming. (Okay, maybe not, but we wanted to keep the Halloween theme going.)

Another reason to vote Obama: we need Supreme Court Justices who understand the First Amendment. For God's sake, these nutjobs won't even allow swear words in their courtrooms during a case involving our First Amendment right to use swear words. The idea of McCain bringing in two or more folks just these is... truly scary.

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While You Were Sleeping: Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Once you read this family's story, you won't have much to complain about anymore.

Joe Biden's mother-in-law died. The Senator has canceled most of his upcoming events. Meanwhile, seven members of the Palin administration (gack! no, we mean her administration in Alaska, don't worry) agreed to testify in the Troopergate investigation. They'll probably say they didn't know anything about the unethical firing; after all, everyone who actually knows something is refusing to cooperate.

Tonight, VH1 broadcasts the Hip Hop Honors, with awards going to Cypress Hill, Isaac Hayes, Naughty By Nature, and De La Soul, among other legends.

Kimbo Slice got knocked down... and out... in a few seconds.

Mischa Barton hasn't learned anything from her most recent nipple slip.

This 25-year-old teacher learned the hard way that you shouldn't send people naked photos over the internet for any reason. Well, you should, but you shouldn't be surprised if people don't keep them private.

And it sounds like Indiana Jones 5 may be on. Not that it's going to be any good, but hey... somebody's still watching this nonsense...

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Girl, Molested By Teacher And Guidance Counselor, Is Kicked Out Of School

Hero of the Day: Dad Who Killed A Sex Offender Turned Home Invader

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:59:00 GMT

The Brew Board website wants to buy this guy's killer a beer. We couldn't agree more that, if ever there is a case where someone needs to be put down for someone else's self defense, this is arguably the one...

Apparently, in the wee hours of this morning, wanted sex offender David T. Meyers was found dead in a relative's hallway in Indianapolis, his killer still clutching him by the neck. Police soon learned that Meyers, who was found wearing rubber gloves and carrying rope, condoms, had climbed into the bedroom of a 17-year-old girl whose family is renting the house. The girl immediately screamed-- Meyers ran for it and was tackled in the hallway by the girl's father, Robert McNally. At some point, McNally wrapped his arm around Meyers' neck, eventually draining the life out of him.

The police have not ruled out a heart attack as the cause of death, although we hope that whatever way Meyers died, he suffered all the way.

"If a person breaks into your home, you are justified in using deadly force in defending your family," said Mount. "In this situation, I don't think he was trying to kill him, he was trying to hold him down."
Meyers had served 10 years in prison for criminal confinement and sexual deviate conduct and was wanted in Boone County for failure to register as a sex offender. He was registered as a sex offender in Marion County. [Fox IN]

The story adds that one observer noted that Meyers had family of his own, and therefore it was a lose-lose situation. Our response: fuck him. He gets no sympathy from us... although we are sincerely sorry for his family's loss. Seriously. They shouldn't have had to go through any of this.

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South African Lovers Pick The Wrong Place To Have Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:49:00 GMT

Everyone remembers the classic sex scene on the train in Risky Business. This South African couple may have seen the movie and misunderstood the actual location of the screen couple in relation to their train...

Details have begun to emerge from South African newspapers about a deceased couple, alleged prostitute Sibongile Radebe and her john, Mduduzi Michael Bandezi. (The rundown: the lovers were having sex on the train tracks by an abandoned railroad station when a train came along. The driver claims to have alerted the couple via the ol' whistle method, at least several times, but they were so into it, they either didn't hear him or didn't care.)

Bandezi died at the scene... he was wearing a condom, thankfully... while Radebe made it to the hospital, where she passed on.

The weirdest part of this entire story? This is apparently the local hotspot for sex with prostitutes: the cops found an undetermined amount of of condoms and their wrappers scattered all over the station.

Read the initial story here.

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NYPD Tase A Nude Man To Death

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:48:00 GMT

At about 1pm yesterday, the NYPD responded to a complaint in Brooklyn about a naked man standing on an awning. About an hour later, after he waved a long fluorescent lighting tube at officers, the man was tased...

...and fell to his death.

We have video of the incident, sfw and without the actual landing (don't worry), below:

The man's name was Iman Morales and, according to his mother, who argued with Morales about an unidentified subject just prior to his leaving their apartment to climb onto the awning, he was very "sick." The fall was only ten feet and wouldn't have killed him if he hadn't landed on his head.

Here is amateur video posted by YouTube user ChooseRonPaul; however, we're not sure who actually shot this footage.

Via YouTube.

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Richard Wright Went To That Great Gig In The Sky (sorry for the obligatory obituary title)

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:14:00 GMT

(What about: Richard Wright: Wish You Were Here... or Richard Wright Is Dead, Here Come The Wor-- no, too offensive.)

Richard Wright, who made his final on stage appearance with the reunited, core Pink Floyd at Live 8 three years ago, and who wrote Us And Them and The Great Gig In The Sky for Dark Side of The Moon, succumbed to cancer today. Here he is playing Comfortably Numb and leaving the stage with the other members for the final time. (He did, however, play with fellow member David Gilmour on Gilmour's solo tour two years ago.)

He seemed like such a nice guy, and in most accounts we've read about the Pink Floyd meltdown, circa The Wall recording sessions, he remained above the fray, like Ringo to their Beatles. During his time with the Floyd, which he helped found in the mid-sixties, he wrote and played on some of rock's greatest tunes. Here he is on our all-time favorite Pink Floyd tune, Us And Them:

While You Were Sleeping: Ciara's Naked Vibe Cover

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:43:00 GMT

We still have a long way to go, baby: gay marriage is not equal to straight marriage in California and Massachusetts... at least when it comes to taxes.

Inspired by Radiohead's slap at the record industry, Michael Moore will post his next movie online for free. We think it's called "Sicko II: The John McCain Story."

And aren't we past this, especially with a female Vice Presidential candidate on the Republican ticket?

Kacy Stuart, a freshman at New Creation Center, a private Christian school, had practiced as a kicker for two months before being told by Hank St. Denis, executive board chairman of the Georgia Football League, that she would not be permitted to play.
Her mother vows to take the League to court.

A new study indicates there is no link between those who are given the measles vaccine and autism.

Check out Screengrab's amusing look at the top films about school for the R-rated crowd.

The Governor of Texas is weighing whether he should stay the execution of an inmate. The inmate's trial, by the way, was marred by the relationship (sexual!) between the prosecutor and the judge. Oh, and here's a little Texas justice for ya: the Governor knows the inmate's appeals hearing is scheduled for after the inmate's scheduled execution.

We saw a headline scrolling along a building this morning: Breaking news: 84,000 new unemployed filings in August; rate jumps to 6.1%. Can't be good for the McCain campaign to wake up to after that speech.

Isn't that a bizarre cover? If the McCain campaign can fool people into thinking Tina Fey is actually his VP, he's got it all locked up...

And Ciara dishes on her relationship with 50 Cent on an (all nude) cover story for Vibe...

Video of the Day: Tracy Morgan Responds to Tina Fey on SNL

Who Would You Rather?: Evangeline Lilly In A Manshirt or Tina Fey Scarfing A Sandwich

The Next Big Star: Marisol Nichols

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While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:42:00 GMT

Wonderful: right as Michael Lohan is tearing his daughter's life apart, his father dies. Maybe Michael will reassess his values now that the guy had to go out right in the middle of an embarrassingly public family dispute.

We missed out on Michael Phelps giving swimming lessons at the Y.

Is David Duchovny having an affair of just trying to promote his show, Californication, with this latest shocking report?

David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. [His reps] declined to elaborate further.
Duchovny plays a sex-obsessed character on the Showtime series...

In Other News:

John McCain will announce his VP today in a bad to take Obama down a notch after last night's historic speech.

Talk about historic: a man proposed to his lady at Mile High, right as Al Gore took the stage-- and Wonkette was sitting right behind them!

BREAKING: The RNC is considering delaying the start of the convention because of Hurricane Gustav... they don't want a reminder of Katrina hanging over their convention... Scott McClellan thinks this will allow Bush to blow off the convention unnoticed, since he is a political liability anyway... read more at the Washington Post.

By the way, this is the greatest post you'll read all day. Even if you don't agree with its politics, you'll certainly (we hope) agree that sicko religious zealots should be laughed out of stadiums everywhere:

Y'all remember the AP report of a "short video produced by Focus on the Family Action shows a man with an umbrella talking about his wish for rain as he stands in front of Invesco Field [before Obama spoke there]. The man in the video explains his desire for rain by saying he's against abortion and gay marriage and says he's "just an ordinary guy" who's looking for people to pray for rain?"

And y'all remember how hurricane Katrina was supposed to be God's punishment for New Orleans sinful ways?

So what will y'all think if next week's Republican Convention (yawn) is eclipsed by landfall in the US of not one but two hurricanes?

Y'all think there's a lesson in there somewhere? [End of post - Ed.]

A school district near Atlanta lost its accreditation, the first such case in 40 years, mainly for ethics violations by board members.

And Rupert Grint, who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potsmoker movies, is doing his first stripping/naked/sex scene-- or something like that. He's "stripping off for"

his first sex scene for Cherry Bomb and is excited about the flick.
'I loved the script,' he tells The Metro. 'It was quite a challenge.'

Getting naked is nothing, Rupert. Hell, Daniel Radcliffe does that every night. (PS: Hmmm... Cherry Bomb, you say? How can we be sure it's not some Virgin Teens Dot Com movie or something?)

Image via AOL.

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While You Were Sleeping: Kate Moss Doing Nude Orgy For Music Video

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:18:00 GMT

The Dalai Lama is too exhausted for a world tour-- even a world tour that involves medical testing.

The first woman to ever face bigamy charges in Kentucky is on the run. Warning: do not marry this crazy nutjob.

Led Zeppelin have returned to the studio! Oh, but there's a small catch...

Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham have been working on new material - without frontman Robert Plant.
Drummer Bonham... admits the new songs could be destined for a new Led Zeppelin album...

He says, "At the moment, all I know is I have the great pleasure to go and jam with the two guys and start work on some material. When I get there (in the studio) I never ask any questions..." [Starpulse]

Dr. Dre's son died over the weekend.

Madonna compares McCain to Hitler in her new in-concert video.

The Game stepped up the rap community's attacks on Jesse Jackson.

Yes, you read that headline right: Kate Moss' boyfriend is in a band called We Are (Not) Sex People, known for their terrible name. The lead singer says that Moss will appear, in the buff but filmed discreetly, in the middle of an orgy in a brothel:

Frontman Dan Summers commented: "Jamie [Hince, Moss's boyfriend] has nothing to worry about but there will be lots of nudity.

"Kate will play a sexy, young version of Cynthia [Payne, a famous London madam.] And we’d all give our right ears to be that bunny rabbit she fools around with."

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