Scanner : democratic primary

Sloppy Seconds: Hillary Clinton Nominated For President?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:51:00 GMT

Would someone please make one of these for us and send it by mail to Scanner, New York, NY? Of course, you'll need to get us a nano, too...

Natalie Wood's longtime lover planned, at one point, to murder Warren Beatty. The world doesn't know how close it came to losing Bulworth.

The decision by America's Next Top Model to feature a transgender contestant has been met with praise from at least one group: GLAAD.

Rejoice, travelers: Gay sex is now A-OK with Panama!

Meghan McCain just wet her pants: the Hills spinoff is taking on D.C.

Christian Bale will not be charged with any hitting or not hitting of any family members.

And Hillary Clinton will be nominated at this month's Democratic National Convention. Symbolically, of course-- or so they promise us. Who wants odds that somebody's going to take this gimme and pull a coup?

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Update On The Christian Bale Story

McCain Blogette: Hot or Not?

What Do We Think About Britain's Missing Top Model?

Who Would You Rather: Elizabeth Berkley or Tyra Banks?

The Top 5 Hollywood Players Who Did Porn

The Media Thinks It's Finally Figured Out Why Hillary Lost (Hint: It's Not The Media)

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:56:00 GMT

It isn't because of this t-shirt.

It isn't because of the Bosnia thing or Obamania or sexism. It isn't because of Geraldine Ferraro or Bill Clinton's dong. It isn't even because she chose a Celine Dion song to bring us into the next four years...

Gail Sheehy's devastating attack on the Hillary Clinton campaign (more so than on Hillary herself-- the article is mostly about how infighting led eventually to the sinking of the ship) in this month's Vanity Fair rehashes many of the rough memories from the primary. For the first time, however, we were ready to read the why's and how's without punching ourselves in the face over the idiocy of Howard Wolfson and Mark Penn, et al...

Sheehy's Reasons Why Hillary Lost (with our notes):

1) Hillary surrounded herself with "brilliant, egocentric, hypercompetitive men." These men were in their 50's and 60's, whereas Obama's staff was younger and were internet-driven-- that is, they were more in touch with the movement.

2) Sheehy comments: "Perversely, in my view, Hillary's chief strategist proved to be an old-fashioned sexist. Penn did not appreciate the strength of her character as a woman." She goes on to note that they tried to make her tough (an attempt to appeal to right-wing-leaning folks who saw her as a liberal do-nothing), then violated a cardinal rule by using her as "her own attack dog, never an appealing role, and one that Senator Obama's surrogates played for him." Plus, "Hillary's loyalists repeatedly challenged Obama's manhood, openly proclaiming to reporters that she was the only candidate with the testicular fortitude to be president."

3) Penn advised Hillary to be "as likable as possible." Somehow, she went from being the most popular person in the party, maybe even more so than her husband, to a symbol of the old, tired guard, willing to attack members of her own party without mercy if it meant winning. "'Now the fun part starts,' she said nonchalantly in December '07, referring to the chance to attack Obama's character. It was a 'cringe moment' for her later pollster, Geoff Garin."

4) Bill Clinton's inability to stay in the background and let the Senator run her own campaign did not help, especially when he veered off message and/or said things that were offensive to black people. Once again, it was men that helped doom Hillary.

5) Sheehy points out Hillary's 20-point lead in October, yet fails to blame that kind of media hype for Hillary's loss. Most supporters agree that the whole "inevitability" angle, pounded into our heads by pundits in the months prior to Iowa, made her loss there a more stunning blow. Had it been presented as a neck-and-neck race, Obama's victory in the first caucus state would have been seen as a squeaker and he may have received a smaller national bounce from it, thus allowing Hillary to snatch up some of the states he eventually did. But maybe not.

6) "Such was the hubris of Hillary's team that they discounted Obama as a passing pop star to non-voters." They also apparently forgot that people still want to read news about Britney Spears, of all people, more than a decade after she first came onto the scene. Think about it.

7) Her campaign spent too much money in Iowa. It "cost Clinton almost $25 million. After that, the Clintons were gun-shy to caucuses." As Joe Trippi points out, this lead to "Obama's entire delegate advantage... [which] is from the caucus states that she didn't contest."

So, just to be clear: Hillary Clinton lost because she picked the wrong team and ran on their wishes, wishes that she run on experience and come off as more hard-line than her opponents, that she appear inevitable, tried and true. It's her fault for not forcing a change in direction and it's their fault for not convincing her it was needed.

They'll be arguing this one for the ages, but if Hillary wants another shot at this, she best look at her own (hiring) decisions and keep these mistakes in mind for the next four years...

Bill Clinton To Obama: Kiss My Ass

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Will Democratic disunity fade away or continue through Election Day, November 4th?

Bill Clinton, the sexiest, angriest President alive, allegedly told one of his advisors that...

Obama could "kiss my ass" in return for his support.

Whether he said those exact words or not is beside the point. Democrats have got to be worried about Clinton's silence following his wife's opponent's win-- without Clinton's full-fledged support, particularly during the convention, Obama will have an even harder road ahead than he already has. And with Bill Clinton's well-disclosed temper, he's not likely to easily accept defeat, put on a gracious smile, and give 100% to the campaign.

The Telegraph has learned that the former president's rage is still so great that even loyal allies are shocked by his patronising attitude to Mr Obama, and believe that he risks damaging his own reputation by his intransigence.

To be continued on that... but meanwhile, many voters are still upset with Hillary's loss and have taken to blogs and other sites to attack Obama. We always welcome deserved barbs that sting any politician, but we haven't seen anything out there that sticks-- for example, most remarks we saw were attacking the DNC for the Florida debacle, which made no difference in Obama's eventual victory anyway, not attacks on specific issues or comments Obama has made.

What is it about Obama that Clinton supporters who have gone to McCain (or are now uncommitted) don't like?

Via Telegraph.

Hillary: Did She Or Didn't She?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:15:00 GMT

It seemed obvious to us that Hillary Clinton's endorsement of Barack Obama on Saturday was fairly solid and from the heart. Others are not at all convinced and smell trouble ahead...

Commenters on Digg and other blogs do not trust Hillary Clinton and so can never take her word at face value. Just because she dropped out, they say, doesn't mean she's given up. She suspended but did not terminate her campaign, which means she keeps her pledged delegates and takes them to the convention-- and she can still accept donations. Rumors are flying that Hillary (or even McCain) may have dirt on Obama and may bring it out just before the Denver coronation, hoping to derail Obama's nomination or at least throw the convention into chaos. McCain's motivation there would be obvious (he'd have a better chance of winning if the Democrats are in disarray), while Clinton's less so: could she use her supporters to make him look weak and thus throw the nomination her way or will she merely bargain with them for the VP shot?

We'll be mulling this question between now and then... because there probably won't be anything interesting until the August showdown...

Hillary Clinton To End Campaign, Endorse Obama On Saturday

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:46:00 GMT

With the campaign unofficially over for months, and officially over this past Tuesday night, Hillary Clinton will nonetheless wait till Saturday to formally endorse Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee. Even Charlie Rangel, one of Clinton's most powerful black supporters, acknowledged the Senator should have been "far more generous" toward Obama in her speech and probably should have endorsed then and there.

From Hillary's e-mail this morning:

Saturday, I will hold an event in Washington D.C. to thank everyone who has supported my campaign. I will extend my congratulations to Senator Obama and my support for his candidacy. This has been a long and hard-fought campaign, but as I have always said, my differences with Senator Obama are small compared to the differences we have with Senator McCain and the Republicans.

Um... many would dispute the truth in that last sentence, Madame Senator.

The Washington Post and other media outlets are already speculating on the meaning of this wait-till-the-weekend strategy.

Advisers indicated earlier Tuesday that the former first lady would publicly acknowledge in her speech that Obama had crossed the delegate threshold. But she changed her mind and refused to do so even after television networks and The Associated Press declared the Illinois senator had sealed the nomination.

And:

Angling for a vice presidential nod, Hillary Rodham Clinton refused to bow out of the Democratic race Tuesday, hoping to maintain leverage as Barack Obama clinched the delegates needed to secure the party's nomination.

In other words, she's holding the party's chances in November hostage in order to bolster her case for the VP shot. However, sources tell us that Obama's inner circle wants nothing to do with this kind of selfishness and is willing to risk alienating her hardcore supporters by not nominating Clinton for the job.

Of course, that doesn't mean they won't cave if Clinton and her fans keep the pressure up...

Via CNN and The Washington Post.

Previously: Top 10 Moments in the Career of Hillary Clinton.

The Top 10 Moments In the Career of Hillary Clinton

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 20:44:00 GMT

Not that we're saying it's over for her politically or anything. We'd fully encourage her to run for Governor of New York if David Paterson decides not to in two years. How hot would that be? "Governor Clinton-- The Sequel!"

10. Kept her job as a lawyer in spite of sexist criticism of how she and her then-Governor husband ran their family.

9. Played a key role in the end of Richard Nixon's Presidency as "a member of the impeachment inquiry staff, advising the House Committee on the Judiciary during" the Watergate hearings.

8. In 1968, at Wesleyan, Hillary "organized a two-day student strike and worked with Wellesley's black students to recruit more black students and faculty." It was a successful endeavor.

7. "Played a role in advocating for the establishment of the State Children's Health Insurance Program."

6. Not taking Bill Clinton's shit on Monica by letting him suffer after he embarrassed and humiliated her in front of the entire world.

5. Securing, with Rep. Pete King and others, a huge monetary boost for New York City following the 9/11 attacks.

4. Beat an incredibly well-funded New York and national Republican political machine to become the first First Lady ever elected to national or any office. If she never did anything else, before or since, it would still put her on an historical par with her President husband.

3. By all accounts, she won a marathon vodka-drinking contest while on a Congressional tour of Estonia. Her opponent? Senator John McCain.

2. Earning far more votes than any woman running for President ever dreamed of just a few short years ago. Shirley Chisholm is smiling down on her, for sure.

And the greatest moment (so far) in Hillary Clinton's storied career...

1. Her Wellesley's class's commencement speech. The address, which received a seven minute standing ovation and was the first commencement speech in the college's history to be made by a student, was gutsy, eloquent and passionate. It woke the country up, in much the same way Woodstock and the moon landing would again one month later, making the front page of Life on June 20, 1969. Very few people who heard it at the time did not agree the 22-year-old was destined for great things...

UPDATE: Relax, people, they're called typos. And they're what you get when you are writing leaning out a second story window, stealing internet, thanks to Time Warner having decided you don't exist anymore.

Obama: Let The Backlash Begin

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:51:00 GMT

As usual, the Democratic Party would rather lose than not have everything they've ever wanted in a candidate. Republicans get up earlier, are better at messaging, controlling the debate and the media, and know how to compromise. Which is why they have a strong independent candidate in John McCain, who will be tough for any opponent to defeat.

Meanwhile, the Democrats, long after Obama was the inevitable nominee, continued to vote for Hillary Clinton instead of rallying around the winner and shoring up his chances for the general. If the party members themselves are this disgruntled about their nominee, then how are they to win over independents and Republicans over the next five months?

Nope, a majority of Hillary Clinton supporters would rather, they say, vote for McCain than their second choice, who is just as good on every issue (if not better, especially if we're talking about Iraq) except for healthcare. Are they mad at some perceived injustice perpetuated by the Obama campaign? If not, there's really no reason to dislike the guy and not vote for him. He campaigned hard and well, and avoided sexist or other nasty attacks. So, why doesn't he deserve your vote?

In Which We Salute Hillary Clinton...

Emily Farris — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:14:00 GMT

While it's no surprise that we here at Scanner were a rowdy bunch of Obama supporters, some of us also had soft spots in our hearts for Hillary Clinton. Maybe it was only those of us with vaginas, and maybe that's because we know what she's done for those of us with female parts.

We may not agree with her policies, her politicking or the fact that she may or may not be as self-made as we'd have liked her to be, but we have to thank her.

Because whether or not she's delusional or narcissistic, we now live in a world where five, six, twelve-year-old girls haven't grown up thinking it's out of the ordinary for a woman to run for president (and get damn close to winning!).

And that's something to be proud of.

In Which We Revoke "Crush of the Week" and Pass it on to Barack Obama

Emily Farris — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:18:00 GMT

You know that guy, the Democratic nominee... Sorry, Adrian.

[NYT: Obama Claims Nomination; First Black Candidate to Lead a Major Party Ticket]

Sources: Clinton Will Drop Out This Week

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:51:00 GMT

Sources tell the New York Times and a variety of other media outlets that Hillary Clinton is gathering her troops (i.e. the donors, supporters, donors, donors, and donors who made up her stellar operation) for a final speech in New York tonight, sending herself off in head-held high triumph.

The general gist of these stories is that this will be a "farwell speech" to the campaign and that her withdrawal will "come later in the week" to save face and help bolster her 2012 chances or whatever it is she plans on doing next.

“The advisers said Clinton has made a strategic decision to not formally end her campaign, giving her leverage to negotiate with Obama on various matters including a possible vice presidential nomination for her. She also wants to press him on issues he should focus on in the fall, such as health care.” [Wonkette]

Most Clinton advisers recognize that it’s just about time for a unity event with Obama, but they say she’ll take a day or more to choreograph her exit. [Politico]

Obama will claim victory tonight, using top Senators and Representatives, following his expected gain in the delegate count following today's South Dakota and Montana primaries. The question is, when did Hillary decide to drop out and why, after deciding to, did she continue her campaign? Is she after the Vice Presidential nomination or something else?

Via the New York Times.

Riots At Florida-Michigan Meeting Fail To Cause Deja Vu in Clueless Democrats

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:34:00 GMT

Protest outside DNC meeting from Elizabeth Glover

In an ironic moment completely lost on most party members, protesters on both sides of the Democratic aisle faced off against the Democratic National Committee over the weekend, demanding ~~Hillary's, no, Barack's, no, neither,~~ no, both of their votes in Michigan and Florida should be counted. The DNC was summarily confused and, like good doomed Dems have been doing since 1992, caved to the middle, pleasing no one.

The positions came down to this:

1) Hillary Clinton is a woman and the DNC and Barack Obama are being sexist and, despite the fact his name wasn't even on the ballot, they should count all her votes exactly as they came in on Election Day.

2) Barack Obama was not on the ballot in Michigan and, unlike Hillary Clinton, kept his pledge not to campaign in Florida. The votes in those states should not count the way voters voted them to count, since this would be unfair to Barack Obama. Some would also argue that Hillary Clinton is manipulating her supporters by making constant announcements and sending endless e-mails about counting every vote in those two states, to the point of inciting a riot on her otherwise-intelligent supporters who should see through this cheap cheating-to-win.

3) Neither candidate should receive any of the votes until after Barack Obama (or whoever) is crowned the nominee. The two states broke the rules and it's the fault of those legislators, not the campaigns or the DNC, that chaos has ensued. A revote could also be possible, although, obviously, not anymore now that the DNC has made up its mind.

4) And finally, the position that won out at the DNC: basically split the votes down the middle, as was offered all along, and move on. The votes of Florida and Michigan are then both counted and not counted: counted in the sense that now they can have delegates representing them at the convention and not counted in the sense that it wasn't in any way near how the voting went.

Before the committee's ten hour meeting ended in a consensus on #4, picketers shouted about not wanting to be "half a vote" and supporters of both candidates directed their anger, not at each other, but at the DNC. Of course, this might all be healthy if not for the fact that, when it comes down to it, there's one candidate whose supporters are really, really not happy with the result.

It was definitely a stunning blow to Hillary Clinton's attempt to catch up in the state, popular, and elected delegate vote totals. How she will justify her continued presence in the race beyond tomorrow's final primaries is a mystery, although why she wants to stay in certainly is not...

More WTF: Obama Assassination Hints And Jokes

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 27 May 2008 17:44:00 GMT

When did it become okay to joke about someone, anyone, getting assassinated?

First, there was the non-joke Hillary made about her campaign continuing because

"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California." [NY Daily News]

Again, huh? He was assassinated in June in California, yes, but what does that have to do with this campaign at all? Did it meant that the '68 race was thrown in the air by the assassination and therfore was also unresolved in June? We're not even sure this reference to Bobby Kennedy is offensive because we don't quite understand her point.

Then there was this, also over the weekend. From the Huffington Post:

Fox News political pundit Liz Trotta jokingly suggested this weekend that someone should assassinate an American presidential candidate. She had first "mistakenly" referred to Obama as "Osama" while discussing theories that Hillary Clinton's recent comments about the RFK assassination was in fact a suggestion that someone "knock off Osama." When she was corrected and reminded that she meant "Obama," she then said, "Well, both if we could."

You'd think Trotta would've learned from Mike Huckabee's idiotic joke, but then again, Fox News was never known for paying attention to real news.

Of course, McCain escapes any sort of danger because whatever perceived enemies he might have will just wait for him to keel over. (Sorry, Scanner Emily!)

Obama & Clinton: Hey, Let's Pretend We Care About Puerto Rico

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 27 May 2008 15:41:00 GMT

Barack Obama's campaign reiterated over the weekend that it is only 56 elected delegates from an automatic primary win, while both candidates stumped in America's 51st State (no, not The Big Apple, which hopefully one day will secede from the Union that is New York State), each offering the latest round of thinly-veiled pandering to seize a chunk of pointless votes...

While we're certainly refreshed by the sight of excited voters and glad Puerto Rico's Democrats are having their one and only say this year (P.R. does not have general election voting privileges.)

Here are some choice quotes from over the last few days:

1) Making the tropical territory's status a "personal priority'' and pledging to resolve the issue between 2009-12. "My commitment to Puerto Rico did not start last month or last year."
2) "[I don't want to get] too political'' by discussing the disputed question of whether Puerto Rico should become a U.S. state, "but I am absolutely committed to making sure that Puerto Rico has the right to make a decision and have self-determination when it comes to its status.'' [via Bloomberg News]
3) "We must ensure that U.S. citizens of Puerto Rico are given the tools to resolve the question of their permanent political status. I fully support the findings and recommendations of the President's Task Force on Puerto Rico's Status."

Okay, the last one is obviously McCain (back in February, actually), but did you guess #1 was Clinton and #2 was Obama?

In any case, everyone is marching along in the so-called Puerto Rican (Primary) Day parade, with the contest going down on Monday. And after all, it is the final big voting booth showdown before the convention, what with ~~the race already decided and all that~~ Montana and South Dakota very likely Obama's without a day of campaigning there.

In other news: Che chum and Cuban Commie Fidel Castro endorsed Barack Obama. In his own, nutty Fidel way.

Image via Voting Monkey.

Dirty Harry Gunning For Hillary Clinton

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Clinton Eastwood, while still a McCain supporter, is all but backing Hillary Clinton in the Democratic Primary, encouraging her to stay in and wondering why anyone would want her to drop out. Of course, Eastwood may have ulterior motives for wanting the Clinton-Obama fight to continue, and it's not just because he shares a name with the New York Senator....

Clint, let us remind you, is most famous for his tenure as the Mayor of Carmel, California... and supposedly for some long-forgotten roles blasting Eyetalians in the desert and Black Folk in the streets of San Francisco (see above photo.) In other words, he's a real American, baby:

“Everybody’s trying to talk her into folding, but it doesn’t seem like the spirit of Americana,” Eastwood told Politico before heading to ...Cannes. “Put yourself in the place of [Clinton]: You’ve gone out there and made a thousand speeches, and you’ve shaken a million hands and you’ve been out there working your ass off. And then somebody comes up and says, ‘Why don’t you just drop out of it?’”

Actually, Clint, they want her to drop out so Obama can concentrate on the general election and unify the party before Reverend Jeremiah Wright can get another loony press conference together and doom us all. Last night, Obama came as close as he ever will (at least, that is, until long after Hillary Clinton suspends her campaign) to declaring victory and he never will be closer to confirming it mathematically. He as the majority of pledged delegates, he leads in the superdelegate count, the popular vote (since he wasn't on the ballot in Michigan and Florida did not see any campaigning, those two states won't be counted in any way until the convention), states won, and any other way you want to count it. If this were the Republican Party and Ron Paul were still running, you'd be whistling a different Morricone theme, eh?

Oh. Wait. Ron Paul is still running. Oh well... here's a clip with some interesting foreshadowing, perhaps, for 2008:

Political Idols of The Day: Young Dems Who Turned Down $1M Bribe

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 May 2008 17:03:00 GMT

Surely this race is beyond any previous level of intensity when one candidate's supporter offers students a $1,000,000 "donation" to their political organization in exchange for an endorsement...

Naming the candidate who's major donor reached out to the Young Democrats of America would sound like an attack. After all, it's not the candidate or even the campaign that's to blame, but the desperation of each Democratic candidate's supporters to end the race that is so telling here. The story, via the Huffington Post, minus identifying details:

Haim Saban, the billionaire entertainment magnate and [...] supporter, denied the allegation. But four independent sources said that just before the North Carolina and Indiana primaries, Saban called YDA President David Hardt and offered what was perceived as a lucrative proposal: $1 million would be made available for the group if Hardt and the organization's other uncommitted superdelegate backed the Senator.
Nevertheless, the group declined the overture. A YDA official cited moral reservations as well as the overwhelming consensus of its members to [not necessarily endorse that particular candidate - Ed.]

We discourage you from finding out the name of the candidate NOT involved, although we must link to the story anyway, to cover our asses. (If you do cave and read it at the Huffington Post, make sure to read all of it, including the final paragraph.)

Clearly, this man will be played by one of our favorite Deadwood stars in the Hillary Vs. Barack TV movie:

Should Christian Science Monitor Be Fed To The Lions?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:21:00 GMT

Forgive the controversy-baiting title: it really is necessary to draw your attention to the most offensive article written this year in the English language.

The article, written under the name Shireen K. Burki for the always suspect Christian Science Monitor (hell, that's almost a triple negative), is so ghastly, so offensive, wrong, and off-base in its attacks on Barack Obama, that not only will Hillary supporters be outraged, McCain himself might end up weighing in on it... if he can locate his missing moral compass, that is...

Have you eaten today? Then don't read this excerpt:

Osama bin Laden must be chuckling in his safe house. After all, the 2008 campaign could very well give Al Qaeda the ultimate propaganda tool: President Barack Hussein Obama, Muslim apostate.
The fact that Senator Obama – the son of a Muslim father – insists he was never a Muslim before becoming Christian is irrelevant to bin Laden. In bin Laden's eyes, Obama is a murtad fitri, the worst type of apostate, because he was blessed by Allah to be born into the true faith of Islam.

We tried to stop reading-- but we were pretty sure this was weak satire that would get better over time. After all, doesn't someone have to actually believe in the religion they are born into to become an apostate? It's not converting, it's joining when one decides one would live to become a Christian, as his mother was. But that's obviously less objectionable than the rest of this complete nonsense:

According to Islamic jurisprudence, children of a Muslim father – even an apparently nonpracticing one, such as Obama's father, and irrespective of the mother's faith – are automatically Muslims. Most Muslims around the world agree: A child of a Muslim father is a Muslim. Period.

And I bet if you ask Christians around the world if, because Obama's mother was a Christian, he is automatically a Christian, they would agree: a child of a Christian mother is a Christian. Period.

People: how clear do we have to make this? Calling Obama a Muslim is a fear tactic, not the least because it's untrue but because its only purpose is to connect him to Bin Laden, which is disgusting, wrong, immoral, untrue, and pathetic. We stopped reading after the above paragraph because we don't need to hear anything further-- these people will contradict themselves and prove to be awful hypocrites and no one will call them out on it. "Obama's pastor is un-American!" and "Obama is a Muslim in disguise!" are statements that prove, if nothing else, at least one is automatically untrue-- after all, as the Christian Science Monitor proves, you can't have two religions... or change your mind about one.

Shireen K. Burki [who writes only to help incite religious warfare -Ed.] is an adjunct professor of political science at the University of Mary Washington, in Fredericksburg, Va. The daughter of a Muslim father and a Christian mother, she spent her childhood in Islamabad, Pakistan, where she studied Islam at school. [Christian Science Monitor]

You can tell her what you think of her at this e-mail.

Obama Draws 75,000 In Oregon By Advertising Hannah Montana Concert

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 May 2008 17:50:00 GMT

Utilizing the latest in CGI technology, Barack Obama's campaign filled in a picture of a small gathering of his interns in an Oregon field with approximately 74,996 "voters," who are "energized like never before" by his candidacy...

The New York Times and other media outlets were fooled by the above photo, which appears to indicate Obama has some sort of "mass appeal," an idea Miss Hillary Clinton would not doubt cackle demonically at.

“Wow! Wow! Wow!” were his first words as he surveyed the multitude, which included people in kayaks and small pleasure craft on the river on an unseasonably hot day in Oregon. [New York Times]

See, right there you know the Times couldn't have been there. 1) "Wow! Wow Wow!" were words reported to be coming from a Presidential candidate and President of the Harvard Law Review, a magazine published in English. 2) Hehehehehhehehehheh. Beavis, he said "small pleasure craft." 3) "Unseasonably hot" and "Oregon" is obviously some sort of sly joke that we ass-cold Easterners do not comprehend.

Seriously, polls show Obama with a four point lead in Oregon (a scary 8% still somehow undecided), and Hillary way, way ahead in Kentucky, with about 11% undecided. Will this never end?

Photo via the Associated Press.

Right-Wing Nutjob Kevin James Proves Right-Wingers Are Nutjobs

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 May 2008 13:00:00 GMT

When we've toured the country for political candidates, we've noticed that although there are civil conversations to be had with some people, most right-wingers are utterly clueless on the issues (this actually has been statistically proven-- look it up if you don't believe it) and tend to subscribe to the Bill O'Reilly school of Thunder Makes Right.

Kevin James, the radio show host and thankfully not the ridiculous actor, embarrassed himself and the Republican Party last night on, of all places, Hardball, where he was shown up by, of all people, Chris Fucking Matthews.

They were discussing President Bush's atrocious remarks (does he ever say anything intelligent?) about Barack Obama, comparing him with his beautiful logic to Nazi sympathizers and "appeasers."

Check out the hilariously painful clip of his loud (and wrong) attempt to rewrite history. Yes, we're biased, although we defy anyone to send us a clip of a liberal loudmouth acting like this much of an asshole.

Sorry, Scanner Emily, But We Gotta Hate On Emily's List

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:30:00 GMT

First, a few disclaimers:

1) Emily's List is not affiliated with Scanner Emily or her totally rad Top 10 Lists. Emily's List, for those of you not in the political know, is a PAC that exclusively supports "pro-choice Democratic women running for congress and governor." Of course, that doesn't ever stop them from wading into the Presidential race.

2) We acknowledge that Emily's List does a great service for womankind with its service. But if you stick your nose in Democratic primaries where the female candidate is a conservative, awful pro-choice Dem running against a strong progressive male Dem, you are going to incur our wrath...

Firstly, back in 2006, when Representative Yvette Clarke ran in the Democratic Primary to represent Brooklyn's 11th Congressional District, she lied during a debate about having been endorsed by Emily's List. (In her failed 2004 run, she had also lied in campaign literature, claiming to have been endorsed by the New York Times.) Emily's List for comment acknowledged and appeared embarrassed about the lies, but endorsed her a few weeks later anyway. Clarke went on to win, even though she was arguably the most conservative candidate in a very progressive district.

Now, Ben Smith at Politico relays this retaliatory message from the founder of Emily's List about NARAL's endorsement yesterday of Barack Obama:

I think it is tremendously disrespectful to Sen. Clinton - who held up the nomination of a FDA commissioner in order to force approval of Plan B and who spoke so eloquently during the Supreme Court nomination about the importance of protecting Roe vs. Wade - to not give her the courtesy to finish the final three weeks of the primary process. It certainly must be disconcerting for elected leaders who stand up for reproductive rights and expect the choice community will stand with them.

Courtesy? The whole point of endorsing during a primary is that it actually counts-- once Obama is officially nominated, who cares if a Democratic Party organization endorses the Democrat? As NARAL expressly noted in their letter endorsing him, they decided to endorse Obama because it's important to go after McCain ASAP, a point seconded by a Politico commenter:

Well, I think it's "tremendously disrespectful" to pro-choice women everywhere to endanger the Democratic Party's chances in November by continuing to back the failed candidacy of Hillary Clinton.

All due respect, Ms. Ellen Malcolm, but this is politics-- candidates aren't supposed to stay in the race after the race is over. Barack Obama leads in the delegate count, popular vote, and states won; even Clinton's senior strategists admit that she will drop out. No candidate in modern times has ever won the Presidency if the nomination is decided at the convention. Never.

If you can't have Hillary Clinton, isn't it better to win with a Democratic male than to lose to a Republican one?

Scanner Survey: Should We Abolish Superdelegates?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:49:00 GMT

No, not should we abolish the process... should we abolish them with a great big laser, drowning them in popcorn, as in the end of Real Genius?

Vote in our poll, which really just asks the former, although we were tempted...

Meanwhile, the award-winning folks at Agit-Pop have produced an animation for your pleasure.

If you agree with this video, you should sign the letter (click on Take Action, above):

Dear Democratic Party Leadership (and you know who you are):

We the undersigned, do hereby urge you to fundamentally overhaul the superdelegate system. Or ditch it completely. You decide. Don't let this meltdown happen again. You're the "Democratic" Party for God's sake. We're watching and we vote.

They'll send the letters as e-mails to friendly DNC types like Al Gore and Donna Brazile... so if you agree or disagree, let us know in the comments.

Republican To Steal Election For Obama By Running Against Him

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:06:00 GMT

In 2000, spoiler Ralph Nader, pretending to be a free-thinking ex-Democrat, helped throw the election to The Worst President in American History (™Doris Kearns Goodwin.) In 2004, John Kerry pretended to run for President, thus ensuring an easy re-election for The Worst President, who would've had no chance in hell otherwise.

Now, it's to the Republicans go the spoilers, with Jonathan McCain's shot at world domination threatened by none other than a Republican ex-Congressman and homo-hater...

Bob Barr, from the great ~~hate~~ state of Gawjya, will run as a Libertarian over the objections of the Republican Party, which has used spoilers against the Democrats for decades, much to the chagrin of clued-in liberals everywhere.

Most Republicans who asked him not to run "also said they understand why I'd run and why John McCain is not conservative and will not seriously tackle the growth in government power and spending," he said. "Some said they would vote for me if I ran, but for the sake of the Republican Party, they would prefer I didn't." [The Washington Times]

This is why the Republicans win and the good guys lose-- they know that all that matters is to win, at any cost, with the strongest general election candidate possible. Which is why they nominated John McCain, friend of the Independents and foe of the Commies, and why the Democrats finally figured this out, too, and nominated ~~Al Gore The Improved~~. No, wait, ~~John Edwards~~. Never mind.

Some fun facts about Bob Barr:

1) Has 36% name recognition with voters. By way of comparison, 84% of voters corrrectly identified Barack Obama as the guy from the Taliban.

2) May detract from McCain's vote total. The Washington Times notes the recent Zogby poll that found "45 percent of likely voters favoring Mr. Obama, 42 percent for Mr. McCain, 3 percent for Mr. Barr and 1 percent for Ralph Nader, with 8 percent undecided." Barr defeats Nader! We can see the Chicago Tribune headline now...

3) Led the impeachment against Bill Clinton. Of course, has made no move to apprehend the real criminal, George W. Bush. Partisan bastard.

4) Ironically, it was the Libertarian Party's ads attacking Barr for preferring continued government attacks on marijuana and an escalation in the wasteful War on Drugs that some say led to his defeat in 2002.

5) "Authored and co-sponsored the Defense of Marriage Act," "proposed that the Pentagon ban the practice of Wicca in the military," while nonetheless working with the dreaded ACLU to make sure the government leaves Americans to their private practices of possessing thermo-nuclear detonators and land mines. [Wikipedia]

In other words, he makes John McCain look like Ho Chi Min.

Hillary Clinton: "I Feel... Happy!"

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 12 May 2008 17:28:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton has a plan to win the nomination, and it's a surprising one...

Howard Dean: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
The Media: Here's one.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
Howard Dean: What?
The Media: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
Howard Dean: 'Ere, she says she's not dead.
The Media: Yes, she is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
Howard Dean: She isn't.
The Media: Well, she will be soon, she's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
The Media: No, you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
Howard Dean: Well, I can't take her like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
The Media: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Howard Dean: I can't take her like that.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine...
The Media: Well, when's your next round?
Howard Dean: Tomorrow, after West Virginia.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I've been saying all along... West Virginia is very important! The most important of all the states!
The Media: You're not fooling anyone, you know.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy! I feel happy!

[Howard Dean glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with a whack of his club]

According to Terry McAuliffe, Hillary will use the West Virginia primary on Tuesday to attempt, as part of a long-term strategy, to eventually pass Obama in the popular vote count.

In an e-mail to supporters, the former chairman of the Democratic National Committee says:

Hillary is within striking distance of winning the popular vote nationwide -- a key part of our plan to win the nomination. That means we need every last vote we can get in West Virginia on Tuesday and in the races to follow.

Will it work? Although most people on both sides agree the race is over (after all, Hillary is losing superdelegates to Obama as fast or faster than she can add new ones), we would not be surprised if the media trumpets her likely 25-point-plus victory tomorrow as another "game changer" and that, as Monty Python would say, she's "not dead yet!"

Via IMDB.

Obama Girl's New Crush

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:37:00 GMT

We usually hate on Amber Lee Ettinger for using Barack Obama to get herself famous while not bothering to actually vote in the Democratic Primary.

Now we'll hate on her for making more videos that are not quite interesting but also not quite embarrassing enough to make fun of...

WARNING: This video contains the most uncomfortable use of the phrase "laying pipe" that you're ever likely to hear (and see):

What Hillary Clinton Will Do Now

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:26:00 GMT

Following last night's surprise results in the Democratic Primaries in Indiana and North Carolina (Clinton by an inch, Obama by a mile, respectively), the pundits and other dolts are jumping up and down, trying to be the first one to call "BINGO" on the end of this race.

But although she pledged to "support the nominee" (the first time she's made a victory speech that hinted at any sort of chance she might not win), we didn't see any indication last night that Hillary Clinton will give up any time soon...

Here are her options:

1) Drop out after about a week or so, to save face. Very few insiders are predicting this one. Clinton has just loaned herself another $6 million, making it highly unlikely she'll bail now.

2) Drop out following her upcoming "triumphs" in West Virginia and other Clinton strongholds in the next few weeks. This will give her leverage of some kind for a) 2012, which she is clearly gearing up for already, much as she did in 2004 by letting John Kerry run his awful campaign without interference or b) a possible VP nod or c) some other sort of leverage (majority leader, perhaps?) that we have not thought about.

3) Use her continued presence in the race to solidify herself for any of the above-mentioned reasons, taking it all the way to the convention. At that point, she could go for any of the above options or, if nothing else, ask Obama to help retire her campaign debt.

4) Seize on Obama's inability to crush her outright in hotly contested states like Indiana and Ohio and persuade undecided superdelegates that Obama will lose the blue collar vote to McCain in Novemeber. It's highly unlikely this could secure her the nomination-- for the first time, Barack Obama is within sight of winning the nomination outright; with a presumed victory in Oregon and a handful of superdelegates publicly backing him, it's possible Obama could pass the magic 2,025 threshold before the convention. However, if she's able to hammer this talking point home over the next few days, she could steal the spotlight away from those delegates who are rumored to be ready to announce for Obama in droves.

5) ?. That's just it: "?" No one knows what Hillary Clinton could do, really. Tim Russert claimed Clinton canceled all public engagements and television appearances today, although that has been denied by the campaign. Meanwhile, rumor has it she'll be meeting with superdelegates to see what they want her to do: stay in till when? Or drop out and then what? Or demand the VP slot? Or what? They've stuck by her this long, she knows they deserve a say in this major decision.

Meanwhile, continued swell news for the Democrats: GOP leaders warn of election disaster.

Video of the Day: The Entire Democratic Presidential Race (So Far)

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 06 May 2008 15:30:00 GMT

Slate does an incredible job (biased, maybe?) or recapping the Presidential race (minus McCain) so far.

Most news is forgotten within two or three days... if only the voters could see this, it might put things into perspective instead of making the race only about what scandalous thing was said yesterday.

Crushes of the Week: Howard Dean and Bethany McLean

Bryan Christian — Mon, 05 May 2008 21:13:00 GMT

In his two years as DNC Chairman, Howard Dean has made more than a few big mistakes, most notably allowing this whole Michigan/Florida debacle to destabilize his party in a year when they should have had a straight shot to the presidency. But we gotta show the guy some love for his appearance on FoxNews yesterday, when he managed to not just stick it to the way biased news department -- but be pretty gracious and effective in doing it. (FF to 3:00 to see what we mean.)

Keep it up, Howard -- and don't waste all your efforts on the opposition. Your notoriously fickle party could use a little firm handing now and then, too. Still, this is a great start.

And for that, he is our first Crush of the Week.

And we can't let this week's CotW pass us by without our giving props to Bethany McLean, who in 2001 was pretty much the first person to call bullshit on the tangled web of lies that was Enron, and whose lush features and soft-spoken skepticism we found so alluring in the 2005 documentary Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, based on the book she co-authored with Peter Elkind. Word came today that she's leaving Fortune for Vanity Fair, where frankly we are guessing the photo department is as eager to get her in front of the camera as the edit staff is to see her copy. Is she a little sleeker than we remember her being? Perhaps. Either way, she's a brainy babe who we look forward to hearing more of in the future.

And for that, she is our second Crush of the Week.

Superdelegates Coming To The Rescue... Finally?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:46:00 GMT

With a new poll released today indicating a tied race in Indiana, the two remaining Democratic candidates are battling for every superdelegate's endorsement. In the last 24 hours, we've seen an uptick in press releases, with eight or nine more mythic figures pledging their support.to either Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, or The Committee To Reanimate Richard Nixon (aka CREEP)...

The new names:

Clinton: Bill George (President of the AFL-CIO in PA), Luisette Cabanas (Puerto Rico political figure), Mike Easley (North Carolina Governor), Ike Skelton (Missouri Congressman.)

Obama: Bruce Braley (Iowa Congressman), Richard Machacek (Iowa Congressman), Lois Capps (California Rep.), Ben Chandler (Kentucky Congressman.)

Note that CNN is reporting five endorsements for Obama to Hillary's four in the last 24 hours, although we haven't found a fifth name as of post time. Meanwhile:

Mike Dukakis, the 1988 nominee, and George McGovern, who topped the ticket in 1972, told the Boston Globe they believe superdelegates should state their choice publicly soon after the primary season ends. The idea was first proposed by Tennessee Gov. Phil Bredesen.

Normally, we wouldn't care what those two bumbling former future Presidents have to say, but if the party can unify behind a strategy, any strategy really, that would ensure a conclusion to this process at some point before 2026, that's fine by us.

Via CNN.

Who Would You Pick?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 17:10:00 GMT

No, not which one of the above-pictured Democratic candidates... rather, a more civil discussion can be had about the second most important issue facing Democrats today...

The Vice Presidential pick. (Yawn, you say. Well... it's a while before the next primary, we gotta talk about something, people...)

Who do you want to see as the VP? Assuming neither candidate will pick the other, is there anyone worth a damn you'd want to see on that ballot with ~~Obama~~ ~~Hillary~~ Al Gore?

John Edwards?

Joe Biden?! Dennis Kucinich??!?!?!?

Janet Nopolitano? Tina Fey? Who?

Hillary and Barack: Now What The Hell Do We Do?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:00:00 GMT

You went from being up by 25% to winning by a Felliniesque 8.5% and you're telling us you can still win this?

Well, we in the media will play your game, then, since without the Democratic contest going all the way to August, we are totally devoid of ideas for news stories...

A look at the headlines this morning, which span the spectrum from the tabloid-batshit-crazy-desperate-to-keep-it-going to the scientific types who did their homework and find themselves shouted down.

To Clinton, big rebound proves "Yes, She Can" - USA Today

Hillary Raises $2.5 Million And Counting - MyDD

Clinton wins primary, keeping bid alive - International Herald Tribune

Elizabeth Edwards to campaign with Hillary in North Carolina - Fark, via Daily Kos

Students suspended for skipping school to meet Obama. - Yahoo!

Obama Camp: Clinton "just lost her last, best chance" - CNN

Obama shifting foucs from Clinton to McCain - New York Times

Times regretting Hillary endorsement - Gawker, via NYT

"Virtually impossible" for Clinton to win more delegates - Huffington Post

The real winner? John McCain - Time

We'd like to ask the Clinton supporters or anyone, really, if Pennyslvania means Clinton could still win this. What do you think?

Photo: New York Magazine

Love It Or Hate It? Obama in 30 Seconds

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:56:00 GMT

This is not an endorsement of Barack Obama on the day of the crucial Pennsylvania primary... and you'll certainly understand why after seeing these videos, since some of them are embarrassingly bad. Just because you "get" Obama, doesn't mean you can make a 30 second advertisement that is creative, fresh, passionate, memorable, and effective.

Check out some examples of both the best and worst of a small chunk of the 1,100 videos submitted for MoveOn's contest. Let us know how terrible or inspiring you think they are... and apologies for the jarring auto-play these are all set to...