Scanner : digg

Our Weekend Gift to You: Blood Alcohol Calculator

Colleen Kane — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 19:32:00 GMT

Apparently some long-lost relative of mine who goes by the handle Celtic Kane created an online blood alcohol calculator that's become quite popular in the past few days.

The calculator is linked here via Digg's annoying new toolbar thingie that also rose to prominence in the past week, or if you are boycotting that, here at CelticKane.com.

I see one problem: you have to be on a computer to use it. If you're not sure whether you're too drunk to drive, you probably shouldn't be online either. That could result in an unfortunate email getting sent out or a Facebook status getting changed that will prove embarassing tomorrow.

However, as an iPhone app? Genius.

(Sorry for the generic photo above, but if you really want to stop yourself from driving drunk, do a Google image search for "drinking and driving." The only lighthearted photo that came up was also creepy, it was a little boy drinking while on a toy motorcycle, but it was from a website of some 8-year-old kid whose parents chronicle his life online including a long list of high-resolution photos.)

Related:

Consecutive DUIs: Three Times a Lady

Today in the Apocalypse: A 14-Year-Old Girl Did... What?!

Drunk Teenagers Have No Respect For the Dead, Other Drunk People

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture Of Brad Pitt?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Google is rumored to be negotiating its purchase of Digg... oh, for around 200 million freakin' dollars.

Vanity Fair mocks the New Yorker cover's failed satire with actual satire, kinda.

Hey, wanna be buried in an iPhone? Only if a nude Lauren Amborse jumps in there with us.

Maybe there's something to keeping your kids locked inside, home schooled for life, and unavailable to interact with other children: Amy Winehouse is planning to have five children, count 'em, five children. Of course, it'll be hard to procreate that often when conjugal visits are every six months.

"Compassionate conservative" columnist Robert Novak plowed into a pedestrian and would've driven until infinity and beyond had a bicyclist not chased him down and blocked his path until the police arrived. Novak: "I didn't realize I hit anyone, even though he rolled around on my windshield for ten minutes." (Okay, not an actual quote.)

Is CBS a member of the liberal media, like McCain says? Well, they're certainly trying to help him, it seems: his interview with Katie Couric appears to have been doctored to remove his once-a-day foreign policy gaffe.

Who is Katie Price and why is anyone reading her books, which she doesn't even write? Okay, sorry for that, but we're not sure why a model can't write has a book deal of any kind.

Brad Pitt drove around in a golf cart with two-year-old Shiloh. At the wheel. (Well, at least the kid was only reaching for the steering wheel.) Next time, perhaps his own seat and/or a fucking door might help, eh, Brad?

Is it me, or is Brad Pitt not as hot as he used to be?

CBS News Correspondent Embroiled In Career-Defining Sex Scandal

Controversial New Yorker Cover Even Dumber Than We First Thought

The Amy Winehouse Comeback Begins...

Accused Killer's Crazy Google Searches All The Evidence We Need

By The Way, We Just Got Banned From Digg (Digg This Post For Us!)

What Do We Think About Vanity Fair's Fake Celebrities?

Scanner Highs and Lows: Strippin' The Night Awaaaay

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:41:00 GMT

Strippers melted our hearts, got arrested, ran the bases with us, and earned some money for charity. Meanwhile, the celebrities just didn't seem as scandalously delicious as usual...

Highs:

We had an intelligent discussion about running the bases. Thankfully, it had nothing to do with A-Rod.

Is there such a thing as a GILF?

7/11 gave away Slurpees today, did you get one?

Patton Oswalt melted Scanner Nicole's snarky little heart.

These breasts basically baffled readers of all ages.

This girl stripped for earthquake relief. Or fame. Whichever.

Batman would've totally crushed on this chick.

And we wrapped up our sexiest albums list with the Top 10 and #1.

Lows:

American Apparel once again used troubled young women (i.e. porn stars) to sell clothes.

No one explained the brum thing to us.

These girls gave pageants a bad name, which is kind of redundant.

This video just creeped us out, although for some, the mere idea of childbirth orgasms was creepy enough.

We learned more about Mini Me's sex tape. More than we eeevver want to know.

We got banned from Digg for showing you this middle-aged convicted Congresswoman's giant boobs.

By The Way, We Just Got Banned From Digg (Digg This Post For Us!)

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:29:00 GMT

It's been a crazy day at Scanner. First, were confused and disoriented by the "brum"; later, upon our recovery, we received what appears to be a death threat after gleefully dancing and having gay sex on the grave of uber-Fascist Senator Jesse Helms.

Then we got a letter from the powers that be at Digg, the website devoted to the promotion of doctored photos and unrestrained Obamania, telling us not to ever submit any of our dopey little stories again.

Your account was banned for violating the Digg Terms of Service (digg.com/tos) that you agreed to.

"By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree not to use the Services:

to contribute any Content that is infringing, libelous, defamatory, obscene, pornographic, abusive, offensive or otherwise violates any law or right of any third party;"

The offending link is provided below:

http://www.nerve.com/CS/blogs/scanner/archive/2008/07/10/corrupt-congresswoman-does-topless-shoot-from-prison.aspx

We will unban your account if you agree to not submit content like this again.

Obviously, if a topless shoot is part of the news (imagine Hillary Clinton did a topless shoot to celebrate winning the Vice Presidency, okay? ~~Wait, don't.~~ Could we not do a story about that without fear a Digger and Scanner reader could get themselves banned for appreciating us publishing even one single photo of a God-given breast?

Guess we were wrong to think that censorship is only on the McCain side of life...

Corrupt Congresswoman Does Topless Shoot From Prison

Newspaper Runs Topless Photos of 13-Year-Old Girl

What Kind of God In Heaven Lets A Topless Eva Mendes Photo Shoot Go This Wrong?

Video of the Day: Chivalry Is For Jerks

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Break.com

This video is outraegous, possibly offensive, and secretly "amen"-ed by every man who comes across it on Digg, Break.com, or YouTube.

And we thought it was just us that heard this annoying rejection line all the time.

Racist Fake Obama T-Shirt Has Internet In Uproar

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 14 May 2008 14:40:00 GMT

Musta been a whole heap of liars in the 90+% of the country that claimed they would consider voting for a black person.

Mulligan’s Bar & Tavern in Cobb county has printed up racist t-shirts featuring cartoon chimp Curious George peeling a banana, with “Obama in ‘08″ printed underneath and are selling them in the bar. This is one of the many reasons why I rarely set foot in Marietta and I feel sorry for those of you who have to live there.

Guess you won't be seeing Mulligan's on our list of the Greatest Dive Bars... or Obama in the White House?

Via Straight From The "A"

"Computers Verified, Orgies Organized" Guy Has Best Job Ever

Bryan Christian — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:15:00 GMT

You know, funny enough, the Nerve business cards look exactly like this, except they mention blogging and have a picture of Siege on the back.

MORE: The Best Business Card Ever ! (via Digg)