Scanner : dildos

Recycling Those Other Household Appliances

Colleen Kane — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 21:28:00 GMT

Almost exactly a year ago today, I wrote a blog post for a green website about the UK's Rabbit Amnesty program for recycling sex toys (and shortly thereafter was asked by the editor if I wouldn't mind taking that post down because the subject matter was a little too racy and they had investors to please). That post ended asking when the U.S. would step it up with a recycling program of our own.

They have, and as with the Rabbit Amnesty program, incentives are offered to recyclers.

The Sex Toy Recycling Program does it all for you after you pop your used goodies in the mail:

Simply drop your clean used toy(s) in the mail, when we receive it in our warehouse we will have it cleaned and disassembled. The rubber, silicone, hard plastics, metal, e-waste and motors will be sent to recycling facilities that process the materials for reuse. Did you leave the batteries in? Don’t worry, we dispose of them responsibly.

For every package mailed in, you get a $10 gift certificate for use with participating affiliates. The program was set up by Dreamscapes, LLC to reduce the carbon footprint of the adult novelties industry.

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Scanner Survey: Vibrators

Via Sunfiltered's Naked Love

If Teenagers Can Have Sex, Why Can't They Have Sex Toys?

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:25:00 GMT

Kids get toy cars before they're old enough to drive, toy phones before they're old enough to get a cell phone account, toy ovens before they're old enough to play with fire and combustible gasses and even toy guns before they're too young to get a hunting license. So why can't teenagers who are old enough to engage in sexual activity get their hands on a few sex toys?

Seems kind-of fucked up when you consider that the legal age for consensual sex is under 18 in most places, but to enter a sex toy shop one needs to be at least that age. (Interesting aside: the legal age of sexual consent in Canada is 16 while the legal age for anal sexual consent is 18.)

Says one columnist in Canada:

"It sends a clear message to young people: Having sex with someone else is acceptable, but exploring your own body by masturbating with anything more than your own two hands is not."

Though the sale of sex toys is a states issue here in the United States, it's pretty much the same situation: it's legal to have sex at 17, it's just not legal to buy sex toys.

We can't begin to know the laws regulating the sale of sex toys to minors (or to now one, ahem, Alabama) in each state. But our friendly neighbors to the north have no laws on the books restricting the sale of sex toys, sold as “adult novelty items,” to anyone under the age of 18, yet stores will only allow those 18 and over to enter.

“I don’t think it’s an intentional double standard… They think they’re following the rules, is my hunch,” says Carlyle Jansen, owner of Good for Her.

Jansen says her understanding of the law restricts the sale of pornographic imagery in any medium to minors. “But sex toys, there don’t seem to be any regulations around who can purchase those and not. For example we allow people to bring their kids into the store or some people will come in and buy their daughter or son their first vibrator.

“I think the double standard comes out of the fact that we sort of ignore youth.”

So maybe that's why they're all turning up with STDs and/or babies in them?

[XTRA: Teens get shaft in struggle for sex toys]

Related:

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Seattle Sex Shop Robbed

Do It Yourself, And Then With Yourself (Or the One You Love): Homemade Dildo Cam

[Image]

More Secret Sex Toys

Emily Farris — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 00:01:00 GMT

(Says Scanner Emily: I need this!)

VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: Yesterday, I showed you a lamp, and a fish bowl that secretly hid sex toys. Today, as you can see above, a designer has gone ahead and developed a paper towel holder that is ALSO a secret sex toy. Since this seems like a fun game, herewith, a couple of secret sex toys I've developed:

Read more...

Sloppy Seconds: Crazy Baby Lady Has One Less Mouth to Feed

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 00:17:00 GMT

Now we officially want to punch the economy in the vagina (sorry, the vulva). Beloved Chicago label Touch and Go Records is shutting down distribution. [Pitchfork]

Even Madonna is co-opting vampire culture. Apparently she wants a role in New Moon, the sequel to Twilight. [AfterEllen]

Taylor Swift would like you to not picture her naked. And we would like you to not think about a neon-green dildo. [Us]

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are engaged. We were unaware they were dating. [People]

All you men who don't understand why average women are so insecure about our looks: even Dita Von Teese has self-esteem issues. Thank you, society. (It should be noted that moments before we saw this item we were thinking about how terribly beady our eyes looked without eye make-up). [FadedYouth]

Roman Polanski is not off the hook yet. A judge in Los Angeles refused to dismiss the 31-year-old sex case against the director because he's a fugitive. This, Mr. Polanski, is what you get for running away from your problems. But, the judge said he might reconsider if Runaway Roman returns to the US. We suspect this might be a trick. [Yahoo!]

The Crazy Baby Lady, otherwise known as Nadya Suleman, has lost her publicist. The Killeen Furtney Group was representing Suleman for free, but decided to quit after receiving death threats via email and voicemail. [Snafu-ed]

Related:

Wannabe Vampires Are Totally Pissing Off Real Vampires

From the Archives: 10 Reasons the Recession Will Rock Your Love Life

Crazy Baby Lady Skips Welfare, Goes Straight to TV

Why Didn't We Think of That?: The Sex and Violence Shop

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 19:49:00 GMT

Kansas Citians may be shy about sex, but anyone who's ever watched an episode of C.O.P.S. can tell you we have no shame when it comes to violence. (Remember the guy who bludgeoned a rare seagull while vacationing in California?) Now the geniuses at K.C.'s Erotic City have found a way to lure unsuspecting locals into their oh-so-scandalous sex shop.

The store has started selling weapons!

A rogue reporter for the local alt-weekly recently paid a visit to Erotic City:

"It turns out the rumors are true. Immediately upon entering the shop, there's a glass case full of swords, hunting knives, nunchucks (we think), and what looks like a scythe with a really short handle. Damn. There's also a rifle that fires far less deadly little plastic pellets. This is all separate from the dildos and rubber vaginas."

It's also separate from the fake pee.

Classy!

[Plog: Erotic City sells silent death]

Related:

Why You Should Never Deny a Kansas City Man His Ice Cream (Hint: You Will End Up Dead)

TTYL, or, Kansas City Here I Come

Hey Everybody, I Just Moved to the #1 Worst City for Dating!

Woman Attacked With Ghetto-Ass Dildo

Peecol: The Hulk, Wonder Woman and a Dirty Old Man

Emily Farris — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:44:00 GMT

We're not too down with the whole Peecol phenomenon. In fact, we didn't even know what these strange little guys were called until today. We do, however, think they're intended for kids (correct us if we're wrong). That's why we're so, so confused by the most recent Peecol figurine.

Oh, hello there, three-inch Hugh Hefner tiny freakish doll thingy.

Um, do you think our dad would be totally freaked out if we asked for one in our stocking at Christmas this year? Because we kind-of want one.

[KidRobot via BoingBoing]

Some Lucky Israelis Will Hang With Hugh Hefner

While You Were Sleeping: The Playboy Selection Process

Who Are You and What Have You Done With Robert Downey, Jr?

Quote of the Day: "I molded my ass."

Scanner Highs and Lows: Can You Say Disappointment?

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 May 2008 22:23:00 GMT

Seriously, we thought we were going to get fingerbanged and then we didn't. How do you think our week went?

Highs:

We learned that people who have more money than we do dress a lot worse than we do.

Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson performed together.

We learned that you'd rather do Chrissie Hynde than Madonna.

The Top 10 Teen Pop Stars made us laugh and cry.

We learned how to make our own dildo cam.

Our suspicions about Star Wars were confirmed. Maybe.

Lows:

We were really, really disappointed by National Fingerbang day. Really fucking disappointed.

We were pretty disappointed by Scarlett Johansson's music video.

We were disappointed when Akon and T-Pain didn't invite us to this awesome lunch.

Miley Cyrus and her dad got a little too close for our comfort.

So did Hulk Hogan and his daughter.

We were very scared by the Montana Meth Project.

Collagen G-Spot Injection: Like Bumpers for The Bowling Lane?

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:44:00 GMT

We're all for increasing the lady's pleasure. After all, we fall into the "lady" category (though some might debate that). But we have a few issues with the collagen injection meant to blow up the G-spot, making it "easier to find."

Since we're typing one handed, and not in the good way, we'll keep our litany of complaints short:

Syringe in vagina: ouch!
Huge price tag: ouch!
Effects wearing off after 4 months: what a disappointment.
Possible awkward moments between you and Mr. Tampon.

How about you train yourself and your partner to find your G spot, which is most likely perectly fine the way it is? Invest in a good dildo and some instructional videos, if needed. If your partner still can't find it, it's not the G-spot that's the problem...

[Marie Claire: New injection enlarges G-spot]

Babeland Staff: The MacGyvers of Dildos?

Emily Farris — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:07:00 GMT

We've been told we're "the MacGyver's of" many things: make-up, finding things to wipe with when the toilet paper runs out, rigging a variety of items that need to be structurally stabilized, and most importantly "the MacGyver of the kitchen" (though we're pretty sure someone called us the Mrs. MacGyver of the kitchen"). But never, ever, have we been called "The MacGyver of dildos." Maybe we're not fully exploring our potential.

Scenario: you work in a sex shop. A woman comes in looking for a dildo that:

a) holds up in the bath.

b) suctions to the tub floor (and stays there).

c) vibrates.

You don't have this particular item in stock, because it doesn't exist. So what do you do? You fucking slip a vibrating cock ring over the Stallion suction dildo.

Our hats are off to you. For we are not worthy.

[Babeland's Blog: Tales from the Floor: The MacGyvers of Dildos]

Scanner Highs and Lows: Michael McDonald Still Hasn't Called

Emily Farris — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Damn, this was a busy week. We fell in and out of love, we traveled, we encountered racism, and as always, we saw some boobs. Oh, and story of our lives: he never called.

Highs:

Susan Sarandon's boobs.

A sandwich that we want to make love to (even if we might throw up a little after).

You can now get a double dildo in Texas!

If you like "The Wire," you'll love "Wire You Laughing?"

Coolio has a cooking show and we want in on that shit.

Michael Musto does Lindsay Lohan's Marilyn Monroe... a little better, if you ask us.

A pro-Barack Obama video not made by Will.I.Am.

Ellen Page might have come out on Saturday Night Live. Or maybe not.

Lows:

As much as we'd like to think otherwise, we learned that Kansas City—Scanner Emily's hometown, which is in Missouri—is still a little racist.

Women running in high heels to prove that "shopping is a sport."

At least we get something out of bad movies: great reviews.

We're not sure if this is actually a good or bad thing, but Italian men are being fined for grabbing their crotches in public.

Outer Space can suck it. So there.

Can we just wrap-up this Democratic primary already?

Michael McDonald never called Scanner Emily. We're still waiting!

We learned that Hooters will survive the apocalypse.

Sloppy Seconds: Huckabee Rips off Boston, Paris Hilton's Pups, Pyrex Dildos, and Good Riddance to Bush

Emily Farris — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Is Mike Huckabee ripping off Boston (the band, not the city)? One former member thinks so.

Did you know that one is only allowed to own three dogs at a time in L.A.? Neither did we. Neither did Paris Hilton. Well, actually, she's just dumb and doesn't get them spayed and neutered.

Eco-friendly dildos are all the new rage. Pyrex??!? (Also, how come that girl gets free dildos and we don't? Shouldn't the casserole queen/sex blogger get a free Pyrex dildo and possibly one named after her?)

Say goodbye to Dubya with your own farewell video. We have a few things we'd like to say to him, ourselves.

This Week in Gayness: Nothing About V-Day, Thank God

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Some more gay sex news this week, most of it the usual right wing garbage. Unfortunately, ladies and gents, it does not feature our story's cover star, porn star Chad Savage, well-known for working at private Republican Party functions and for being associated with the woman who accused George Bush of going down on a guy in a strip club in 1984. But more about that some other time.

Some footballer dude (do we care right now?) is in hot water for talking some smack about some dude:
Brady Quinn denies using gay slur (The Free Press)

In Michigan, some kids got all the publicity they needed to sell those $2 ad spaces:
Gay-themed high school play draws protest, support (Michigan Live)

There's something in the water in this town...
‘High prevalence of gay sex in Pune, Bangalore’ (Hindu Times)

What's next, banning all references to "giant cocks"?:
Proposal to ban homosexual references from TN schools (TN Volunteer)

Ha fucking ha.
Judge rejects students' free-speech suit over anti-gay T-shirt (Mercury News)

Not fucking ha ha.
Gay Student Shot at LA-Area Junior High School (AP Sources)

But it's what she didn't say that's most revealing...
Clinton talks to gay paper (Blade)

Book that romantic getaway now... because you forgot the flowers, yo!
Gay Travel Social Networking Site to Debut Today (Gaywired.com)

And, with the headline of the week: Will Dildos Rub Supreme Court The Wrong Way? (Radar Online)

Texas Crawls Toward the 19th Century: Sex Toys Legalized

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:01:00 GMT

And not a day too soon. Texas finally evolved out of the Dark Ages today when a 5th Circuit Court of Appeals overturned a law banning the sale of sex toys in the state.

[Selling Sex Toys: the Washington Post]

Try This at Home: Thigh-Vag Master

Emily Farris — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Forgive us if you've seen Homemade Sex Toys before, but we're quite impressed by the Thigh Exerciser Sex Toy. There are certainly other (and better, and more efficient) ways to get the job done, but this one is at least hilarious, and would make for some great dinner time conversation if accidentally left out. It's not going to fit into the drawer of your bedside table, that's for sure.

[How To: Thigh Exerciser Sex Toy]

Video of the Day: Toys in Babeland Now on YouTube

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Toys in Babeland, your one stop shop for all your sexytime needs is taking their show on the road. Sort of. They're now posting video sales pitches of their inventory. Here, Jayme Waxman, a sex toy educator describes the how the cold, hard metal of the Jupiter wand feels when it's all up inside you. For anyone looking for a cheap thrill: this video is about as un-sexy as it gets, but you just might be tempted to buy a Jupiter Wand. We are. And it's for boys and girls.