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Tina Fey Was On Sesame Street?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:59:00 GMT

It was over two years ago, but you think we'd remember something this good.

Luckily, Jezebel and Strollerderby broke out the video yesterday to remind us of it. The occasion? The Sesame Street DVD from that season will be out on Tuesday. Hopefully, this video will stay up on YouTube until then. (And, by the way, never let it be said that Tina Fey can't act. She manages to keep a straight face during all this nonsense.)

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While You Were Sleeping: Is Lindsay Lohan's Career Over?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

The New York Times just figured out that the sexting craze means some teens will go to jail.

This Rob Schneider interview may be the best thing we've read all week. Yeah, we know-- Rob Schneider...

Apple is preparing to raise iTunes download prices to $1.29. We suspect this might have something to do with preparing people for the high price Beatles downloads will be.

An eye for an eye is about to be taken literally in-- you called it-- Iran.

Nice try, IBM-- you want to lay off American workers, outsource to India, and collect stimulus dollars? Hell no.

Four women who dressed as stewardesses and volunteered in the New York City subways to help people get around have been asked to stop by the MTA. As if the MTA is flush for cash and can themselves pay people to provide that service. Morons.

New York finally began the process of fixing the evil/horrible Rockefeller Drug Laws.

Our hero David Byrne has officially ruled out ever playing with the Talking Heads again. Asshole.

Bruce Springsteen saved the famous Glastonbury summer music festival. Angel.

Lindsay Lohan's only unreleased film (at present) is going straight to DVD.

And a schoolteacher showed up drunk to class, blackmailed her students into bumping and grinding with her, then later passed out by a swimming pool.

Teacher In Lesbian Sex Scandal Story Not Helping

While You Were Sleeping: John Mayer's Penis

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:09:00 GMT

Jason Segel has no luck with women, claims the Post.

Really dig this Tropic of Cancer-inspired photo. [NSFW]

George W. Bush is writing a book on "the most important decisions of his presidency." Since those were all made by Cheney, we wonder why they're calling this an autobiography.

It was a setup. Big Joe is gonna be so pissed.

Ooh, Twilight fans-- some of the cast may be sneaking into the midnight DVD release parties.

Three people robbed Victoria's Secret of $3,400 worth of panties.

Natasha Richardson died from a skiing injury yesterday at age 45.

John Mayer Tweeted that his penis fell asleep. And no, it didn't have anything to do with his relationship with Jennifer Aniston.

And this guy thought he was on his deathbed, so he confessed to decades-old murder charges he'd bailed on. Whoops.

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While You Were Sleeping: Jennifer Aniston Finally Speaks Out About Brad Pitt

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:12:00 GMT

A rabbi says he was able to conquer his fear of Nazis... by playing Call of Duty.

First, it was Bob Dole with the Tarantino movies. Now, it's Gary Sinise and Redacted. Why is it the conservatives always attack movies they haven't even seen?

Chris Brown and Rihanna are... writing a book? And it's about domestic abuse?!

Let The Right One In and Milk were released on DVD yesterday. Both are highly recommended.

Jennifer Aniston said she will "always love Brad Pitt" and hopes that they'll be friends again someday.

Oh no... Jamie Lynn Spears is planning to enter a recording studio to make a country album.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are working it out. Sorry, dudes.

There are over 2,000 registered sex offenders on MySpace... 2,000 registered sex offenders just from North Carolina. In other news, people are still "on" MySpace.

And is Jim Cramer the meanest, loudest, most awful crybaby? Well, no, that's Bill O'Reilly, but Cramer does come pretty close at times.

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Michelle Williams Strips, Seduces, Enjoys, And Freaks Out On Ewan McGregor

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:59:00 GMT

Michelle Williams has already bounced back from the stress nightmare and overwhelming publicity surrounding the death of her ex-fiancee, Heath Ledger. First, she nailed a terrific performance in last year's gem Wendy and Lucy, sadly overlooked by Kate Winslet-crazy Oscar voters. Then, she landed the lead in the new film Incendiary, which was a hit at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival and comes to DVD on May 5th.

But Nerve Video obtained a copy of the graphic and memorable sex scene between Williams and co-star Ewan McGregor (man, that guy's naked in everything)...

This scene takes place at the beginning of the movie. Williams' character has a husband and young son, whom the filmmakers apparently doesn't even bother to give a name, are at a soccer match (note her character's accent), so she decides to invite sexy Ewan over for a game of her own. Both fortunately and unfortunately, the scene is edited so that spoilers are removed, so we won't tell you what's going on at the end here, except to say that Williams had left the TV on and the channel tuned to the match...

More about Incendiary at the film's IMDB page.

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Otto, the Gay Zombie Flick on DVD Today

Colleen Kane — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:22:00 GMT

The first gay zombie film* Otto: Or, Up With Dead People, directed by Bruce LaBruce, comes out on DVD today. The unrated DVD cautions, "This film contains extreme zombie sex," which is a new one in a played genre. As a zombie-movie aficionado, I thought this would be a no-brainer (or an all-brainer?), but it left me cold as the undead. I don't know from Bruce LaBruce, but this film must be for his fans.

Here's the trailer.

The best thing about the movie for me, besides Otto the zombie being hot, and the woman who is shown as if she were in a silent movie, is the theme song by the Homophones, "Everyone's Dead."

The 14-track original soundtrack is out on Crippled Dick Hot Wax.

* It's the first gay zombie film besides Gay Zombie, that is.

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Caption This: Anne Hathaway Will Rent as Many Children as She Wants

Emily Farris — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:46:00 GMT

[Image]

Scanner Giveaway: Signed Elton John DVDs!

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:52:00 GMT

We're dead serious. The man who played piano while wearing those giant sunglasses. The guy who told Lilly Allen he could snort her under the table. One of the baddest mofos of all time, or at least 1973, Elton John, has agreed to autograph copies of his new DVD documentary "Tantrums and Tiaras," which features behind-the-scenes craziness and excesses not seen since the Rolling Stones were still allowed within our borders.

Like we said-- despite all this kidding around-- we're serious. We're going to give you autographed Elton John DVDs... all you have to do is...

...answer these trivia questions. If you're resourceful, you should be able to Google the ones you don't know right off:

1. What Elton John "Greatest Hit" does not appear on the original record but appears on later CD pressings? This tracklisting for the vinyl version should give you a hint.

2. What three songs did John Lennon play with Elton when the duo played Madison Square Garden show in November, 1974?

3. What song contains the line "Stop twinkling your star like you do?" And you better get this one, as this is our favorite song of his.

4. The Elton John AIDS foundation just had its annual benefit, raising more than 2 million dollars. Who hosted that event?

5. Who did Elton marry in February of 2006?

And, if there are ties, the tiebreaker: Who did he marry in 1983?

We are expecting to receive two signed Elton John DVDs, so there should be two lucky winners out there. The movie was released on VHS in 1997 and is being released this week, finally, in the States on DVD:

The long-awaited U.S. DVD debut of Elton John: Tantrums and Tiaras (Echo Bridge Home Entertainment) has arrived today, with the 1997 documentary finally getting a domestic video release. With John's longtime companion David Furnish in the director's chair, we get a much more warts-and-all look at the music superstar than another filmmaker might have been allowed to capture. While you'll come away from the movie admiring Sir Elton's work ethic, you'll also marvel at his bratty entitlement.
Whether or not you're a fan of the Rocket Man's music, the gossipy frankness of this movie makes it impossible to look away.

Good luck! We think it might be best to e-mail us at scanner@nerve.com rather than posting your answers in the comments...

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Now You Can Stop Stealing Criterion DVDs From The Library...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:49:00 GMT

Today, the tech blogs are excitedly spreading the word about The Auteurs, a film buff's online paradise, complete with select free Criterion Collection movies streamed right back at ya...

The Auteurs is "1. an online movie theater where you watch, discover, and discuss auteur cinema" and "2. a new social experience." More importantly, you can watch Lord of the Flies, Spirit of the Beehive, Fat Girl, and a Buster Keaton comedy for free. (You can also check out The General and Les Bonnes Femmes for $5 each, which is much more reasonable than the $30+ you'd spend to buy them from Criterion.)

According to the site's FAQ:

The Auteurs is where film viewing, culture, and discussion finally meet in a single venue. At its core, The Auteurs is a web site making great films from prominent festivals around the world accessible to anyone through high-definition video streaming. Together with online film viewing, we bring together the most original coverage of festivals, filmmaking, and cinema culture in the form of an online film magazine. Finally, we unite film watching and film criticism with film discussion by allowing users to rate and review films, as well as discuss cinema in our forums.

What kind of films do you show?

We show the best of international cinema. This means a wide-ranging, but carefully selected group of films that fall into any number of categories, from foreign language, art-house, documentary, and independent, to short films, experimental, and animated works.

How do I watch films on The Auteurs?

Simple! Most of the films on our site can be watched for free. Just sign up, login, and they are yours for the watching. For the chance to watch our newest acquisitions and additions to our library first, we do charge a small fee per film.

What more could one ask for? Well, we are holding out hope for at least two dozen more Criterion films-- including anything Cassavetes. In the meantime, you have some catching up to do-- start watching here.

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Swaptree: The Next Cool Free Internet Thing

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:50:00 GMT

We were hoping to get our "Netflix For Books" idea off the ground for years now, but realized it was probably too expensive for us cheap hobo literary types.

That's why we're secretly thrilled that Swaptree, if it works, has taken over where we gave up...

1) Join swaptree.

2) List books you'd be willing to give away-- or, better yet, trade. Hell, list DVDs, CDs, dirty lingerie, and anything else with a barcode on it and they might let you do it.

3) Slap a printable mailing label on it, ship the bastard Book Rate, and wait an unsuffering long time (such as 14 days) for your trade to make it's way 50 blocks.

4) Seriously, then you should figure out what you want in exchange. Or swaptree will-- or at least, they say they will. Think this is a scam? How does this site make any money?

Check it out here.

While You Were Sleeping: Playboy Kills the DVD

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:06:00 GMT

Rudy Ray Moore, aka "Dolemite," passed away.

Billy Baldwin's co-star says his wife is a lucky man because Baldwin is one helluva kisser. This is his transsexual mistress-playing co-star, which makes it all the better.

Good Lord, Tom Arnold is absolutely wasted in this video... how ever did it get on the airwaves? Even if those airwaves are over the internet?

Thanks, Elizabeth!

Sorry, Londoners: Paris Hilton is considering a move to your turf.

Gillian Anderson gave birth to her third child.

CNN's breaking news this morning: Americans are angry, stressed. We also just found out that Americans enjoy alcoholic beverages, vehicles, and vast sums of money. Thanks, CNN.

And Playboy has said it will discontinue the DVD in favor of online-only content.

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We Boiled Mena Suvari's Sex Movie Down To Its Most Watchable Moments

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:03:00 GMT

Translation: we present, so you never have to rent this straight-to-DVD film due out in October, the three-minute graphic sex scene that probably helped keep Stuck out of most movie theaters...

Stuck actually sounded promising. In Europe, this would have been dark and disturbing and probably would've been robbed of a Best Foreign Film nod at the Oscars. Check out an Amazon.com review of the DVD, due October 14, probably written by a publicity hack but still worth checking out...

In it, the reviewer mentions how Stuck is about a nurse that hits a man on her way home (while, of course, popping ecstasy and talking on her cell phone, the greatest crime of all.) Unfortunately, the man does not die and in fact, remains-- yep-- stuck to her windshield. Instead of saving his life,

she pops more Ecstasy, has sex with her boyfriend, and wonders how the accident might affect her promotion at the retirement home where she works. This is not good, she figures. So instead of saving Tom, she pleads, "Whay are you doing this to me," and then whacks him with a board whenever he regains consciousness, hoping that he'll just die already so she can dispose of his body. Re-Animator Stuart Gordon's satirical film is ultimately about an American culture that has become so self-absorbed that it is easier to refuse assistance to a dying person than to inconvenience oneself. Brandi's refusal to believe the accident was her fault, instead blaming the homeless guy for the sticky situation, works as priceless comedy. Stuck is rich in sex, drugs, horror, and graphic grindhouse gore.

It would've been great... if it didn't obviously suck! Here are the only three minutes you'll ever want to see:

Mena Suvari Sex Scene

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While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked

And You Thought Only Lesbians Still Watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 22 May 2008 18:38:00 GMT

So, what do NPR correspondents in Baghdad do to unwind when they're not taking death-rides in Humvees and listening to bombs go off?

Watch Buffy, natch.

In this segment, NPR correspondent Jamie Tarabay talks about why she loved watching Buffy while reporting from Iraq. Hint: cute clothes were only part of the reason.

Scanner Movie Night: Hustler's "Gov Love: The Eliot Spitz-Her Story"

Emily Farris — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:34:00 GMT

It was only a matter of time before the Spitzer scandal made it to the porn world, and we're pretty impressed it happened so quickly. NSFW front and back covers of the upcoming DVD after the jump.

So, you bring the popcorn?

[Fleshbot: Porn Of The Opportunistic Moment: Hustler's "Gov Love: The Elliot Splitz-Her Story"]