Scanner : elisabeth hasselbeck

Sloppy Seconds: Did Barbara Walters Out Whoopi Goldberg?

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:02:00 GMT

Because Paris Hilton absolutely needs more puppies. [People]

We've heard that women reach their fertile peak at 27 but maybe that's actually the case for men, too. A new study has shown that children of older fathers have lower IQ scores than those with younger fathers. In contrast, children born to older mothers scored higher on the same tests. This really is the year of the cougar! [Reuters]

Two cheepskate brothers have been exchanging the same birthday card for 36 years. At this point, why even waste money on postage? Just send an ecard, dudes. [Colorado Springs Gazette]

Did Barbara Walters out Whoopi Goldberg on The View last week? Was she already out? Did anyone even notice? Does anyone really care at this point? [VIDEO: AfterEllen]

Related:

Paris Hilton, You and You Alone (and Maybe Nicole Ritchie) Can Stop Puppy Mills

Christian Bale's Rage: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

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Republican Spawn Will Taunt and Taint Our Nation's Hope

Emily Farris — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:04:00 GMT

At the top of The View this morning, Elisabeth Hasselbeck shared some very, very breaking news.

She's pregnant... again!

What's this, baby number 18 in three years or something? We can't believe she'd actually bring a baby into a world where a liberal Black man is president. But maybe she's trying to start her own little Ayran militia here in the States.

What are we saying? We're jerks. What we meant to say was: every baby is a blessing from God. Congratulations, Hasselbeck!

Related:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Who Would You Rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck vs. Ann Coulter?

Caption This: "The View" Gets Political

Shirley Nagel: The Wicked Witch of Halloween

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:51:00 GMT

Meet Shirley Nagel. She decided, that on Halloween, she would only hand out candy to children of parents who supported her choice for President.

Oh her door hung a sign that read, "No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters."

When asked by a reporter about the kids that would leave empty handed and in tears she replied, "Oh well, everybody has a choice."

Well, Ms. Nagel, we listened to Rush Limbaugh when we were 13—that wasn't really a choice. And look how we turned out.

Watch the video of the scariest thing to happen to Halloween since Elisabeth Hasselbeck dressed up as Ronald Reagan here.

[MyFox Detroit: No Treats for Obama Supporters]

Related:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Sloppy Seconds: Queen Latifah on Being Gay

While You Were Sleeping: Janet Jackson Hospitalized

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Get Scurrred

Emily Farris — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Is there anything scarier than thinking that Elisabeth Hasselbeck might win?

Highs:

We remembered most of what we learned in the fifth grade.

And if that's not enough of a time suck...

We realized we live in a pretty sexy neighborhood.

We were more proud of our home state than we've ever been.

We looked at some rad art.

Bra recycling, anyone?

More girls said "yes" to Obama.

We proposed to Ryan Gosling (and still haven't heard back).

We got some shit on John McCain. We think.

We like vaginas made out of just anything, so what?

Lows:

We learned that Google's Mail Goggles are of no use to us anymore.

After all of the great Fey-Palin skits, SNL had a huge fail.

We wondered if we're bad feminists.

Did we actually, finally overload on cute?

Um, no.

We were totally fucking disenfranchised.

We realized that we were relegated to a life of being the crazy cat lady a long, long time ago.

We remembered what fun dressing up as a couple can be.

We presented you with a very scary choice.

Caption This: "The View" Gets Political

Emily Farris — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:53:00 GMT

The women of The View dressed up as U.S. Presidents for Friday's pre-recorded Halloween show. And, yeah, Elisabeth Hasselbeck is dressed as Ronald Reagan.

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Who Would You Rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck vs. Ann Coulter?

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:01:00 GMT

We're really sorry to do this to you, but it's not like either of these conservative women is conventionally unattractive. So, if you had to pick one, who would you rather: Elisabeth Hasselbeck or Ann Coulter?

Related:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Ann Coulter is a Man, Baby (According to Some Guy and a Computer)

Ann Coulter: Hillary More Conservative Than McCain

Ow, My Eyes! "Ann Coulter Lite" Is Anti-Everything We Hold Awesome

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Stumps for Sarah Palin, We Drink Heavily

Emily Farris — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:33:00 GMT

At a rally in Tampa, FL yesterday The View's resident Republican and woman we love to hate, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, introduced Sarah Palin and her accessories including, but not limited to, her "priceless" flag pin and her special-needs child.

It's not pretty. If you can handle nearly ten minutes of Hasselbeck's tortured metaphors, click on through. Or wait until you can get home and pour yourself a drink. We had to watch this in two minute shifts with a shot of whiskey in between each.

P.S. The Anchorage Daily News endorsed Obama yesterday, too. That is all. Thanks.

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture?

Sloppy Seconds: Queen Latifah on Being Gay

Sloppy Seconds: Has Colin Powell Finally Made Up His Mind?

Sloppy Seconds: The Baldwins on Gay Marriage and the Unfortunate Pairing of Heidi Montag and Britney Spears

While You Were Sleeping: Janet Jackson Hospitalized

Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Sloppy Seconds: Has Colin Powell Finally Made Up His Mind?

Emily Farris — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 21:09:00 GMT

So, Madonna's directorial debut comes out right as she divorces her director husband? Is that, like, the equivalent of sleeping with his best friend? [NYT]

The lead singer of the Four Tops, Levi Stubbs, is dead at 72. [Yahoo!]

We imagine this guy will vote against the McCain/Palin ticket after Sarah Palin tried to take away his skate park. [MTV]

Joe Biden will appear on Ellen Degeneres' show to talk about his opposition to Proposition 8. But proposition 8 will overturn California's law that overturned the ban on gay marriage, right?. So... he supports gay marriage? We think. We're so confused by all of this. [Queerty]

What we wouldn't give to see Kathy Griffin and Elisabeth Hasselbeck duke it out on TV. [Defamer]

Could it be that Colin Powell is about to come out in support of Obama? And if our mom says she'd vote for Powell and not Obama, will this change her mind? Here's hoping! [NYDN]

Related:

Colin Powell To Back Obama?

While You Were Sleeping: Colin Powell To Endorse?

Colin Powell Shakes That Ass in London

Sloppy Seconds: Queen Latifah on Being Gay

Emily Farris — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 21:23:00 GMT

We would absolutely agree that Eminem was the best rapper in "Eight Mile." We even stood up and cheered at the end... but the best rapper in the world? [FadedYouth]

We have a much easier time believing that Halle Berry is the sexiest woman in the world. [Yahoo!]

We're also surprisingly happy that Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together; mostly because we know how much break ups suck. [People]

Howard Stern married his girlfriend Beth Ostrosky. [MTV]

Is somebody going to knock Elisabeth Hasselbeck off any time soon? Off The View, people! Off The View! [MollyGood]

"I don't have a problem discussing the topic of somebody being gay, but I do have a problem discussing my personal life," Queen Latifah told Sunday's New York Times magazine. [Us]

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture?

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:59:00 GMT

Melissa Etheridge plans to marry her long-time love, Tammy Lynn Michaels. [Us]

Phish will reunite for a 2009 tour. We didn't know they broke up, but yay for Phisheads. [MTV]

If, like us, your invitation to Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds' wedding got lost in the mail, you can read all about it here. [People]

And apparently Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are planning to marry, too. [FadedYouth]

Not only is Robert Downey, Jr. the perfect choice to play Hugh Hefner, he's apparently also perfect to play Sherlock Holmes. [Yahoo!]

Watch Sarah Palin play the flute. Or not. [Radar]

Or, watch Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Barbara Walters argue over Palin. Honesty, it's more fun. [MollyGood]

We hate cigarettes as much as—or more than-the next guy (or gal), but we're a little miffed that the cigarette was removed from this iconic image of Bette Davis from "All About Eve" for her postage stamp. [NFDHD]

Related:

Who Are You and What Have You Done With Robert Downey, Jr?

Sloppy Seconds: Fake Sex Ruined The Real Thing for Robert Downey, Jr. and Heather Graham

Who Will Play Playboy Hugh Hefner in the Story of His Life?

Bette Davis Eyes: 41 Cents

The Miramax Telethon: Has Anything Good Ever Won An Oscar?

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Is there even more "Sex and the City" in our future? [Us]

If you're just dying to hear Britney Spears' new single "Womanizer," here: [Radar]

Thank the God in heaven (who we don't really believe in): Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving The View (that we don't really watch) for Fox News (which we absolutely don't watch). [PopCrunch]

Is there trouble in Olsen Twin paradise? But not double trouble (har, har). [MollyGood]

Cynthia Nixon is very pleased with Brad Pitt these days. [People]

"It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win," according to Woody Allen. [Yahoo!]

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Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously

Emily Farris — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Our not-so-slutty sister thinks that vetting Sarah Palin is like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but funnier. We would like to take this opportunity to disclose that we have not been fully vetted. [FameCrawler]

At least she passes Elisabeth Hasselbeck's test with flying colors, because you know it's super complicated and makes lots of sense. [MollyGood]

Will celebrities please stop throwing things? First it was Russell Crowe with his cell phone, then Naomi Campbell. Now Akon, probably best known for "Smack That," is facing criminal charges after being accused of throwing a fan off of stage — and we're not talking about the small appliance. [Yahoo!]

If you're a shitty asshole who would like to hunt down women who've had abortions, you may be in luck. Abortion Tracker claims to have a record of every woman who's had an abortion since 1940 and they'll make the list available to you for one easy paymennt of $799. [Jezebel]

Anne Hathaway apparently loaned her businessman ex hundreds of thousands of dollars before the couple split earlier this summer, proving that even rich guys can be loser bums (except, we actually already knew that). [Starpulse]

Even though they ganked our feature, we have to give it to dListed for catching this who would you rather: Dog the Bounty Hunter or his wife, Beth? Um, can we vote for the dog? [dListed]

Of all the people in the world we'd like to tell to "fuck off," Elton John doesn't even come close to making the list. Not so for Lilly Allen who drunkently disrepescted the singer at the GQ Men of the Year Awards. [MTV]

Barbara Walters to Kim Kardashian: Why Are You Famous?

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:01:00 GMT

We were just thinking the same thing, actually. Other than being Crazy. Sexy. Fun. with your mom, of course.

Sloppy Seconds: The Baldwins on Gay Marriage and the Unfortunate Pairing of Heidi Montag and Britney Spears

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 22:39:00 GMT

Alec Baldwin is apparently fine with his born-again Christian brother Stephen's views on gay marriage. We, on the other hand, are not so fine with this creepy picture of the Baldwin brothers.

Will The View''s Elisabeth Hasselbeck just shut the hell up already? Gloria Steinem is evil? Really, Elisabeth? We know it's The "View" and all, but you're not helping women here.

Perhaps we were too quick to diagnose Amy Winehouse with The Herp. Turns out it's probably impetigo, a highly contagious bacterial skin infection that generally affects infants and children.

We listened so you didn't have to: The Hills' Heidi Montag and US Weekly's Britney Spears recorded a song (if you want to call it that) together. Titled "Dramatic," it debuted on Ryan Seacrest's morning show today. If that link doesn't work for you (Mac users) you can try this one. If, after listening for about nine seconds, you want to stab your ears out with a rusty screwdriver, you're not alone.