Scanner : elisha cuthbert

FHM's Ten Sexiest Women of 2009: Hot or Not?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Yesterday, Emily revealed FHM's sexiest woman in the world (2009 High-Bidding Publicist's Decision Edition, of course.) As usual, no one has ever heard of her, much as they had never heard of Megan Fox last year. Well, this time we can prove the vote was rigged because the winner doesn't have cache like appearing in a recent #1 blockbuster to help boost her rankings... she's just some random vaguely hot model that is on the rise...

10. Freida Pinto (she should've been higher, especially this year)

9. Anna Friel (can't believe they called the now-canceled Pushing Daisies "massive")

8. Kristin Kreuk (uh, she was on Smallville... and... uh... yeah, hasn't been heard from since)

7. Elisha Cuthbert (booorriing choices in this top 10)

6. Adriana Lima (heard of her, can't place her, moving on)

5. Keeley Hazell (wait, Keeley Hazell isn't as sexy as...)

4. Britney Spears (...automatically invalidating the entire list...)

3. Jessica Alba (when are men going to get tired of this untalented nobody?)

2. Megan Fox (the dethroned champion falls to...)

1. Cheryl Cole. Uh, apparently she was on a show called the X Factor and annoys Simon Cowell. If that's true, why isn't she tied for the top spot with Jennifer Hudson, who is far more attractive? Let's look at the photo evidence:

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Another Woman We've Never Heard of Is FHM's Sexiest...

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Lingerie

Sloppy Seconds: Elisha Cuthbert Survives Harrowing Hit-And-Run

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 22:36:00 GMT

In Iraq, they have shoe-throwers. In America, egg-tossers.

Jenna Haze was named the porn performer of the year. [NSFW]

Heidi Klum is pregnant with that ba(l)d singer's fourth child.

Elisha Cuthbert survived a hit-and-run driver, thanks to her training for 24. A crazy New York driver (sorry for the double negative) nearly ran her down one recent evening, but she survived by jumping onto the hood. Actually, her story is kind of confusing, mainly because no one seems to know where these out-of-context quotes came from.

The Pay It Forward movement has taken over a couple of Alabama coffee shops.

Maybe it is possible to die of a broken heart: a couple married for over 67 years end up dying just a few hours apart.

Here's proof the right-wingers are completely insane. (We don't have anybody this nutty on our side.)

And Bruno edited itself down to an R-rating. Yay for Unrated DVDs!

Sloppy Seconds: Angelina Jolie Pregnant Again

Smile, or You'll Get Divorced

Sloppy Seconds: Obama's Brother From Another Mother

Emily Farris — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 23:31:00 GMT

Is Argentina crying for Madonna after she had to postpone a show there? Enh, probably not. [Yahoo!]

We're not the only ones with "sloppy seconds." [MollyGood]

Actor Mark Ruffalo's brother is "clinging to life" after he was shot in the head. [Us]

Duuuuuuuuude. A 2,700-year-old weed stash was uncovered in the Gobi Desert. Wonder if it's still good? [MSNBC]

Amy Winehouse's possibly soon-to-be ex husband Blake Feilder Civil is yet again Blake Incarcerated. [People]

Nintendo has come a long way, from boring old Mario and Luigi to video games with racial slurs. [MTV]

This is Barack Obama's half brother, we think:

[Via Daily Intel]

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16 Manic Pixie Dream Girls and One Truly Terrifying Elisha Cuthbert

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:01:00 GMT

The Onion has an excellent list of 16 Manic Pixie Dream Girls in film. What is the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, you ask? According to the AV Club:

Nathan Rabin coined the phrase "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" to describe that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that "exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures."

Yes. We are familiar with this Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She looks like Peter Pan and acts like your 7-year-old cousin if your 7-year-old cousin drank, wore perfume and listened to The Shins on her iPod. (I mean, we assume that she does not do these things.)

So, this is a ubiquitous and annoying character-type. One that, according to the list, is ruthlessly exploited in the upcoming Elisha Cuthbert film My Sassy Girl. We had not heard about the American remake of Korean rom-com My Sassy Girl, but after watching the preview we have officially given up on life. From what we can tell, Cuthbert's character may be a sloppy, drunken sadist, but since she's blonde and wears unusual sweaters she deserves love rather than a restraining order. Watch the preview and just try not to throw your computer down a well.

For the thousandth and final time, hitting, kicking, pinching and slapping are not appropriate ways to show affection once you've graduated from kindergarten.

Does This Future President Have A Crush?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Which Presidential candidate is keeping up an e-mail correspondence with a busty young Hollywood starlet?

"I am engaged to Barack Obama,” she said back in January... “My heart belongs to Barack.”

Scarlett Johansson, star of will.i.am's famous "Yes, We Can" video for Barack Obama, has been exchanging e-mails with the Presidential candidate. It all started a few months back when she met him at an event:

“The most time I spent with him was the first time I met him, at a private event for supporters,” she said. “After that, it’s been a few minutes here, a few minutes there on the trail.”

They continued their chats by e-mail, starting with some messages from Scarlett congratulaing him on escaping from the ABC debate relatively unscathed. Obama kept writing back.

His replies have been thoughtful, she said, more than a brief line or two; on the ABC debate, he responded that the questioning was “difficult” and he was being pounded on “one silly question after another.”

Johansson is somewhat shocked that he keeps up their back-and-forth correspondence. “You’d imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly ‘on’ — how can he return these personal e-mails?”

Scarlett-- it's because of your boobs! Duh! Oh, and because it's probably a body person actually writing them, but whatever.

Via Politico: Does this actress have a crush?

Another Woman We've Never Heard of Is Maxim's Hottest Woman in The World

Emily Farris — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:53:00 GMT

A few weeks back, Scanner Brian was perplexed by the fact that FHM had named a woman we'd never heard of as its sexiest woman in the world. This month, Maxim pulls the same trick (even though we have heard of her, but only from one of our own).

And the winner is...

Marisa Miller.

Should we know who she is? Probably. Do we? Only because of Scanner Bryan. Is she the hottest woman in the world? She's definitely hot, but enh.

Scanner Bryan, you're welcome to disagree. So are the folks at Maxim who say she "embodies the official return of the all-American supermodel... Not since Cindy Crawford ruled the catwalk has a pinup born and bred on U.S. soil so thoroughly captured the imagination of the American male."

Also on the list: Scarlett Johansson (No. 2), Jessica Biel (No. 3). And in the top 10: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Elisha Cuthbert, Eva Mendes, Christina Aguilera, Lindsay Lohan (who topped last year's list) and Ashley Tisdale.

How much do you think these women's publicists pay to get them on the list?

No, you know what? Fuck this list. We're taking nominations for Scanner's Hottest Women in the World in the comments section.

[People: Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel Make Maxim's Hot List]

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Who The Hell? FHM's Sexiest Woman in The World

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Maybe we are falling behind, but we had only barely heard of FHM's #1 Sexiest Woman In The World before today's announcement. Does that make us bad bloggers... or heroic ones, since we did not have to subject you to our musings on her until now?

And the winner is...

Megan Fox!

Megan who? Apparently, she was in Transformers, which we still cannot believe was actually a theatrical motion picture and, even funnier, that thinking people actually paid up to $11 to see. We wouldn't be surprised if the new Indiana Jones movie bombs because it's too intelligent and doesn't have enough robotic explosions for people to shit their pants over.

But that's beside the point.

The point is: who the Christ is Megan Fox? We understand almost all the other entries on the list (#4 Elisha Cuthbert, #11 Hayden Panettiere, #20 Beyonce, etc.), although we're not sure why other guys continue to drool over boring chicks like Jessica Alba [#3} and Jessica Biel [#2], or anyone named Jessica, for that matter, without the last name of Lange. However, we would put in the earplugs and do Simpson in a heartbeat.)

Anyway, check out FHM's list, if the damn page ever loads...

Top Photo: FHM; Bottom Photo: GQ

Who Would You Rather, Paris Hilton or Elisha Cuthbert? Oh, Too Bad, They'd Rather Each Other

Emily Farris — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:07:00 GMT

In case you hadn't heard, Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert were spotted making out at a New York club Tuesday night. Cuthbert's reps are denying it. We would, too, if we were her. Paris wouldn't even make the top 1,000 on our crossover list.

[US Weekly: EXCLUSIVE: Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert Seen Making Out]