Scanner : environment

World Naked Bike Ride Takes Over the Southern Hemisphere

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:02:00 GMT

On Saturday afternoon, naked people took to their bicycles all over the Southern Hemisphere to protest the "indecent exposure" caused by carbon emissions. We're all for this campaign...

Above photos from Newcastle. Top photo from Sao Paulo.

The World Naked Bike Ride 2009 kicked off its first wave of protests in cities like Melbourne, Buenos Aires, Cape Town, and Lima. The Northern Hemisphere events are scheduled for June 13th and already include Krakow, L.A., London, Seattle, Amsterdam, Montreal, New Orleans, and many other major cities.

Perhaps the funniest photo of the day is this one, which doesn't even involve nudity. Check out that sexy pink bike!

Related:

The Naked Lady Rides Again In Oregon

National Topless Day Is A Gigantic Success

Nude Beachgoers Run Rampant In The Streets...

St. Louis Nude Bike Protest Points To An Emerging Trend

Wacko Right-Wing Politician Hit With Nude Photo Scandal

Fox News Wants You To Have Sex... Greener Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 22:34:00 GMT

We're often discussing ways to reconcile our need for unrestrained, raunchy sex with our boring ol' environmentalism. Sometimes we've even gotten specific about ways our love lives have evolved in a more socially-conscious era. But we not as specific as the recent Fox News piece "11 Ways to Make Your Sex Life 'Greener.'"

Wait, Fox News is leading the eco-friendly sexual revolution? Now, this we gotta see...

Here are the 11 Ways, according to FNC Sexpert Yvonne K. Fulbright, a smarty-pants name if we've ever heard it (just kidding-- it's impossible to successfully mock a pompous byline when your own last name is Fairbanks.)

1. Organic Lubricants 2. Bamboo Sheets 3. Eco-Lingerie 4. Environmentally Friendly Condoms 5. Sustainable Wooden Paddles 6. Phthalate-Free Vibrators 7. Certified Fair Trade Chocolate 8. Local Flowers 9. Sex Kits 10. Organic Wine 11. DivaCup

Nothing extraordinary, but perhaps more comprehensive than many similar lists we've personally created on Scanner. But one thing stuck with us-- this seemed all too familiar. Look at a post on the TakePart blog:

1) Sustainably Sexy Lingerie 2) Vegan Condoms 3) Natural Lubricants 4) Spank Me! 5) Organic Massage Oils 6) Solar Vibrator 7) Twisted Monk Bondage Starter Kit 8) Smart Balls 9) Fun in the Tub 10) Fair Trade Aphrodisiacs

No one's accusing Fox of plagairzing our friends at the socially-conscious TakePart, but why would we listen to Fox News, a network that tells us sex is a shameful practice yet has no problem milking stories about it for monetary gain? Why would we listen to a conservative "news" source, a proudly "red state" institution after it was revealed that people in states that heavily regulate sexual activity spend more money on porn than those in more liberal areas?

Perhaps we're getting ahead of ourselves. But the point is-- why would anyone care what Fox News thinks is greener sex when we have a liberal list that includes gems like this:

Have you been a baaaad environmentalist? Forget to recycle that take-out container last night? Bend over and take your punishment like a good little greenie with this classic wooden paddle made with materials from a sustainable source by a fair trade project in India.

Suck my Smart Balls, Murdoch.

We'll spare you our revolutionary #12 idea, which has something to do with the "WTF?!" photo seen here...

Top image via. The TakePart blog post is here; Fox's is here.

Related:

Bedpost Beta Will Make You Feel Like The Slut You Really Are

Calling All Vintage Vibrators

Will You Be Our Sexy Valentine?

Some of Our Lovers Could've Done Used the Love Trainer Device...

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen in the Fight of Her Life

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Stephen Fry twittered about getting stuck in an elevator.

Here's a guide to touching boobs.

The latest "save the planet" theory? People should have more sex.

This jerk just won the right to attend a university even though he'd been banned from it for his disgusting feet stench. What, he couldn't just clean it up or cover the smell with super-awesome socks?

New York City is losing its loveable weirdos on an almost daily basis.

Thankfully, New York is still cool... in Legoland.

Zombies attacked Texas... now they're attacking Illinois!

Osama "Sam" Lufti is suing his former client, Britney Spears, and her wacky parents.

And Lily Allen learned that it's best not to even have a joke snowball fight with kids. The snowballs turned brutal and the cops were called in to arrest six children...

Today in WTF: Seductive Farting

20 Most Amazing Coincidences... or Hoaxes?

Tips From A Stripper: On Saving The Environment

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:29:00 GMT

Our favorite "stripper" of ill-repute, Ms. Jocelyn Testes-Harder (hey, that's kind of a funny name), has returned to rescue us from this crushingly slow news day, with tips on saving the environment:

"I've been lowering the totals on our costly water bill by making the kids bathe together, and forcing them to poop in the back yard..."

But Jocelyn, your water bill can't be that much, can it? I mean, there's got to be a better way to save money than cutting down on toilet usage. What about things you spend a lot of money on?

"[Well,] I've also found that a condom can be reused if you simply turn it inside out and wipe it off with a dry paper towel."

Oh, boy, Jocelyn... Scanner Emily is going to be furious when she hears about this. Well, at least you actually use condoms, unlike many women your age. Speaking of women your own age, how can we cut down on the CFCs emitted from feminine hygeine products?

"When you use things like hair products and spray paint you should try to avoid spraying them directly. Instead you should spray the product into a rag, huff on the rag until the fumes dissipate, and then apply to the intended surface.

Reducing what ends up in landfills is also a major goal of the environmentally conscious. So burn whatever you can rather than throwing it away, especially larger items like mattresses and refrigerators. And never throw out something that you can reuse."

Except for that last line, we're pretty sure your advice is complete madness. Nonetheless, we look forward to your expert opinion again soon. Until then, make sure to check out Jocelyn's blog here. It's shittacular.

Related:

Introducing the Australian Sex Party...

While You Were Sleeping: Barack Obama's Big Move

Tips From A Stripper

Video of the Day: The Tailgating Stripper Pole

While You Were Sleeping: The Lapdancers And The Prime Minister

Solar Power Those Headlights

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:40:00 GMT

Following on the heels of the Chopstick Bra and the No! Shopping Bag Bra, comes the Solar Power Bra to, you know, help your boobs generate some juice.

A waist-mounted solar panel powers a small, chest-mounted electronic billboard or any other electronic device you choose to connect.

There's also a reusable cup nestled--where else--in the bra's own cup. The whole thing aims to "stimulate" eco-awareness and give the Internet yet another glimpse at Japanese women in strange underwear.

The Chopstick Bra

The No! Shopping Bag Bra

Sex Toy Manufacturers Getting In On The Whole Going-Green Thing

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:17:00 GMT

Environmentally-friendly sex toys don't come cheap these days...

The Eco Plug is a sleek anal plug that looks beautiful and has been handcrafted for your pleasure.

With everyone worrying about the environment these days and looking for ways to help make their Carbon Footprint as small as possible the team at blissbox thought that we too should do our bit for the environment.

Don’t worry we are not suggesting that you ditch your trusty dildo’s and resort to using organic cucumbers and bananas, we have found some wonderful ECO friendly Products. [Thank God! 'Cuz our boyfriend's parents ate that vegetable we were using. - Ed.]

These ECO Plug’s are made from wood and will after many many years of companionship be much easier to recycle than your average sexaccessory.

For each Eco Vibe/Dildo or Plug sold we at blissbox are going to plant a lovely bush… A Willow Bush to be precise and the purchaser will receive their own bush planting certificate!

Heheheheheheh... Beavis, she said "lovely bush." Hehehheheheheh.

By the way, you can obtain this "lovely" new invention for the small, one-time fee of only £42.95 Delivered. If anyone has this many pretty pennies and orders the ECO Plug, please let us know if it's worth it.

Thanks, Bianca!

Crush of the Week: Adrian Grenier

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 21:12:00 GMT

Photo by Scanner Emily. Ah, we've been waiting for a reason to use this one!

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Need yet another reason to lust over Entourage’s Adrian Grenier? Treehuggers and Grenier-lovers, take note: he’ll be co-hosting a show on the new eco network, Planet Green. Alter Eco is an “eco lifestyle and makeover series presented by Adrian Grenier and his entourage of green activists, experts, and friends.” We can only hope there will also be giant bunnies humping squirrels.

Read more...

Today in Architectural Porn: All Embedded In Ice

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:56:00 GMT

Spring is finally here this week in New York, so we're able to look at these photos of freezing-ass places without dread.

Freud woulda loved that one.

Now, this is a must-see, via the Finnish. This is a multi-part structure rebuilt every year when the temperature drops to a level we don't even want to see, let alone experience.

"The hotel sits on between 13,000 to 20,000 square metres of ground, depending on which year it is built. Every year, the architecture is completely different. Three features remain however, these are: a chapel, a restaurant and a hotel."

Link and more photos via Environmental Grafitti.

Hot Chicks Dig Green Dudes

Emily Farris — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:20:00 GMT

For millions of years women have used T & A to get what they want — when all else fails, of course. So next time that man who claims to have "simple needs" uses eighteen squares of toilet paper to wipe his ass, or throws his beer bottles in with the rest of the garbage, please direct his attention to hotchixdig.com.

Introduce him to Rebextreme, a brunette who says "be smart and start doing your part." If the gentleman prefers a blonde, there's Mary Jane, who likes "men who bike... men who eat fresh, seasonal produce... and men who care about animal welfare." Once you have his attention, you can teach him about carbon emissions and the effects of pesticides. Because really, the only thing hotter than a woman with a bike basket full of locally-grown produce is a man with a bike basket full of locally-grown produce.

And ladies, don't forget to do your part. You can add yourself to the Hot Chix roster.

(Thanks, Mandy!)

Yet Another Reason to Never Get Married

Emily Farris — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 14:16:00 GMT

Divorce is doing a disservice to Mother Earth, just another reason to never get married. We're not saying we're against marriage, we're only saying that everything we've ever known to be true, in life, is telling us not to do it. We hope that changes someday, because we want presents (we have friends who got $20,000 just for getting married... plus gifts!). But a recent study says that divorce is bad on the environment because "it tends to result in more households and less sharing of resources." We guess this could be an argument against lifelong bachelordom as well, but, hey, we have a roommate. And we use single-ply toilet paper.

[Image from viewblur's flickr]