Scanner : extramarital affairs

Ex-Mayor in Michigan Arrested For Having Sex in the Street

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:42:00 GMT

Kim Capello, a 56-year-old man who used to be the Mayor pro term of Novi, just outside of Detroit, was arrested last month for indecent exposure.

While it's always news when a politician is arrested for whipping out his boner (Kim is currently the Oakland County Commissioner-- see above), there is more to this story than simple indecency...

On the morning of April 18th, police respond to a complaint about two people getting randy against a wall near a strip of bars and restaurants in town. Upon arriving, the cops found Capello and a 37-year-old woman having sex in the middle of the sidewalk, with pedestrians passing by and presumably fleeing in horror. It should also be noted that Capello is Republican family man-- he has been married for 21 years to his law partner wife, with whom he shares an office, according to the local news. The couple also have three kids.

Strangely enough, the woman has not been charged with any crime, while her lover faces up to three months in jail when he appears in court next month.

Via ClickOnDetroit.

Related:

Candidate for Gov. of GA Admits to Having Sex... with a Mule

Politician Probably Should've Taken Down Scandalous Facebook Profile First

AZ Gov. Candidate Posts Topless Photo of His Roommate on Flickr

Nevada Governor's Sex Scandal May Top Eliot Spitzer's

Most Bizarre Stakeout Ever Ends in Penis Severing

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:02:00 GMT

You would think the most bizarre thing about a woman biting off her boss's penis would be the part where the woman bites off her boss's penis.

You obviously haven't been reading Nerve for very long...

An unidentified 30-year-old female in Singapore will probably never give oral again-- and her boss never receive it-- after this disturbing incident. While the married lady was going down on her superior in a park car, a van crashed into them, similar to that scene in The World According to Garp where the cheating wife is blowing her young student and Robin Williams pulls into the driveway and... ow.

The most bizarre part of the story is that the lovers were found by the private detective that was spying on them on behalf of the woman's husband.

The woman ran from the scene screaming, her mouth covered in blood, but ultimately accompanied her man (no, the other one) to the hospital, where he was treated but probably not fully repaired.

Via Metro.

Related:

China's Last Eunuch

We Missed Out on National Penis Day 2009

A New Book About Sex, Geared For Toddlers And Up

Twitter Has a Famous New "Member"

Nevada Governor's Sex Scandal May Top Eliot Spitzer's

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:50:00 GMT

Jim Gibbons, Republican Governor of Nevada and accused sexual assailant, is one helluva piece of work. We've previously told you about Gibbons and an incident involving a waitress who claims she was assaulted and told to "shut up" by the Governor one night in a parking garage, although no charges were filed.

Now, the juicy details of the Gibbons family divorce are burning up the wire...

Mrs. Dawn Gibbons was sick of Gibbons and his philandering, although it was the Governor who filed for divorce last spring. Nonetheless, she has a bone to pick with him about his affairs with two specific women, although more infidelities are alleged.

1) One woman received approximately 860 texts from Gibbons's state-issued cell. When this information first came to light, Romeo was forced to reimburse $130. According to USA Today, Gibbons denies these were love notes.

2) As depicted in the photograph above, the Love Gov. is alleged to have snatched up a colleague's ex-wife: specifically the ex-wife of Reno's Mayor, who happens to be Leslie Durant, a former Playboy bunny and, we believe, Miss September 1989, something not reported in the mainstream media. (See here for a blog that discusses their relationship and outs her as 9/89's girl.) UPDATE: It has come to our attention that someone other than a Leslie Durant was Miss September that year, although there is a variety of evidence Leslie Durant (probably under her maiden name) appeared in Playboy that month.

Let us remind everyone that it's better to break up with someone than to cheat on them and try to get away with it. Gibbons hasn't learned that lesson from Bill Clinton or Spitzer, apparently.

Jersey Girl's Torrid Love Affair With An Eighth Grader

Married British Barrister Billed Client For Sex

Cloris Leachman Won't Wait For Her Entree, Wants You Now

Rumormongering: Rihanna Gave Chris Brown Herpes

Married British Barrister Billed Client For Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:06:00 GMT

But he didn't just bill his client for sex. He didn't just bill her for sex they had in expensive hotel rooms. He billed her 250 pounds an hour for that sex...

It gets better: 46-year-old attorney Marc Beaumont got client (yes, this is her real name) Anal Sheikh drunk on multiple occasions and slept with her, then later billed her for his time in that absurd amount. Either this is the best sex since Eliot Spitzer was Governor of New York or-- no, it apparently wasn't. Sheikh was furious and went to the press... which probably won't sit too well with... Mrs. Beaumont.

According to the Telegraph:

...things turned sour after Mr Beaumont's wife, Michele, 50, allegedly found out about their relationship and locked him out of the house and he was concerned she would "trash his office".
She claimed Mrs Beaumont later phoned her, threatening to "destroy" her.
Yet despite apparently agreeing with his wife not to see her face to face, she alleged Mr Beaumont wanted to continue the affair. She alleges that the couple met and kissed and he even asked and colleague to lie about his whereabouts if his wife should telephone his office.

Miss Shiekh claims Mr Beaumont acted negligently and gave her bad legal advice on a string of occasions.

Among that terrible advice, we're guessing: "have sex with me."

Via the Telegraph.

Related:

The Rare Knocked Up Midge Doll

Purity Boot Camp

Audrina Partridge Already Reduced to Nude Advertisements

Woman Handcuffs Husband to.... Talk?

Ex-Detroit Mayor Gets All Sexy With the Texts

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:54:00 GMT

Here's one of our favorites from Detroit Mayor (excuse us, ex-Detroit Mayor and now ex-felon) Kwame Kilpatrick:

6/23/02
Kwame (11:16 p.m.): I wand you to talk to me while I do you. ------- I want you to focus on making me make you come! ERASE.

We wand you to click hard on the Read more... for the rest of these golden sext messages...

1) 2/24/03
Kwame's Wife (4:47 p.m.): Had a bad dream last night...that you had a girlfriend. So of course I woke up pissed!

Kwame to wife (4:52): LOL. I have one Girlfriend...My Best Ever and lastly My Soulmate! SLEEP WELL!!

Kwame to girlfriend (10:28): THIS IS FOR U! LOL. I have one Girlfriend...My Best Ever and lastly My Soulmate! SLEEP WELL!!

2) 9/08/04

Kwame (11:56): You TOLD ME. Ok, I SOLD WEED IN COLLEGE!

Girlfriend (11:58): WHHHHAAAAATTTT! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!!

Kwame (12:01 p.m.): LOLOLOLOL! YEP! ME AND TIM

3) 8/30/04
Kwame (5:25 p.m.): CAN I GET SOME SUGAR LATER?

Girlfriend (5:36): NO QUESTION!!!

Kwame (5:37): THANK YOU MAM!

4) 7/23/02
Kwame (2:51 p.m.): I REALLY BELIEVED THAT I HAD NO CHANCE TO BE WITH YOU. I've WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU SINCE I WAS 17yrs OLD. I BELIEVED IT WAS MY ONLY OPPORTNITY[sic]. AT THAT TIME I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A TEENAGE FANTASY COME TRUE! NOW I KNOW DIFFERENT.

5) 6/10/02
Girlfriend (8:28 p.m.): Hey, would you be mad if I found another man/husband between now and sometime in the next two years? Lou Beatty and I might not make it and I need to find a new husband!

Kwame (8:50): I WOULD BE MAD AS HELL! STAY WITH LOU. I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER DUDE.

Wait, his girlfriend was married as well? We didn't know that and, in a way, it does make this whole affair slightly more sordid. Thanks to Talking Points Memo for finding these five gems in the official transcripts, which contain over 6,000 messages between Kilpatrick and his then-chief-of-staff, Christine Beatty. Both were eventually arrested for obstruction of justice and perjury charges stemming from a simple $25,000 lawsuit, ending an administration marred by police officers murdering whistleblowers, Kilpatrick's wife assaulting strippers, and bribery allegations.

So, if you are starting to feel bad for the former Mayor because we're mocking him and exposing his hypocrisy, just think about that...

Related:

Sex is the New Airborne

Putting an End to Teacher Sex?

Amazing Race Winner Stars In First Celebrity Webcam Scandal

While You Were Sleeping: The Spitzer Scandal Never Dies

Teacher Sex Craze Spreads to the U.K.

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:15:00 GMT

47% of all public school teachers working in the United States have had sex with a student or another teacher since 1997, according to an informal study we just made up.

And like a halfway scary Dario Argento movie from 1976, it's spreading like a sexual plague to other countries...

The Sutton Guardian reported on two teachers at Carshalton College, a school near London (at least on the world map) who skipped out on a school assembly to have sex in a classroom. Not a big deal, right? The fact that they were caught by a student and reported-- still not a big deal. The fact that they were both committing adultery-- getting warmer...

The real story here isn't that the school sex(ual revolution) phenomenon is invading England, it's that after the teachers were busted the first time, they simply hightailed it across the hall and restarted their shenanigans in another classroom, where they were busted again, this time by a third teacher, who obviously felt he/she was missing out.

A great ending to this story would've been that all three teachers were busted for a classroom menage a trois, although we're confident one of those will turn up soon enough... Great Britain...

Related:

MI Teacher Wants You to Burn the Sheets After Hot Sex

Today's Cradle-Robbing Cutie: Drama Teacher Lisa Glide

Teacher Arrested For Possession of Drugs, Terrible Goatee

How to Catch Someone Cheating On You: Radio Edition

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 14:44:00 GMT

He loves me... he loves me not?

If you find yourself asking that question over and over about your boyfriend (or, what the hell, husband), these morning radio show DJ's have discovered a surefire way to answer it with 100% accuracy...

Listen to this actual call-in clip, which doesn't appear to have been staged-- although it would've been unforgettable...

...when we were in high school, we used to pull a prank that had a similar style (although, again, the above gem is genuine.) We'd stand around the local Borders and wait as two friends of ours, a guy and a girl, would bump into a fourth friend of either gender and the fourth person would freak out-- "what are you doing here, you're cheating on me with him/her?!" Trust us, when we were fifteen, this was considered high comedy, especially when the terrified clerks would have them all ejected for fighting.

Not sure why we're mentioning this bit of immature stupidity, but maybe you haven't been able to shake off the horrible feeling that this clip has wrought. If that's the case, just think: it might be some goofball prankster couple, trying to pull off a stunt on a bunch of talk show idiots...

[You can listen to the clip here if, for any reason, it's not working above.]

This Thanksgiving, Just Shut Up and Be Thankful for Your Faithful Mate (Who You Probably Don't Really Have)

The Second Life Divorce Gets Funnier After The Split

Cheating Wife Claims To Still Love Her Husband... After 18 Month Affair

Sloppy Seconds: It's Friday And Salma Hayek Is Single

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:50:00 GMT

A woman paid $1,000 for someone else's baby after having a miscarriage. Painful Excerpt: "...she didn’t want to disappoint her mother." Yikes.

Did you guys and gals attend the mass nude photo shoot today in Ann Arbor, Michigan?

The Best Article Every Day today featured "7 Reasons Why The New iPhone Sucks."

Lockup your children, drugs, bowler hats, and microphones: Pete Doherty is on the loose.

John McCain actually doesn't hide from gay Republicans. He just conveniently leaves them off his public schedule.

Today in Weight Gain or Pregnancy? rumors is Uma Thurman.

Wonkette reports that our favorite cheating, divorcing family values Republican seriously injured a man at a Congressional baseball game and did nothing while the man bled all over the place. Oh, then he hit a home run and celebrated. Classy.

Another disgusting Obama shirt or just a poor choice of words: "Obama Is My Slave." (we're betting it's the former-- can you picture them making and somehow selling a John McCain version?)

Salma Hayek is not getting married to some billionaire after all. While the lesbian rumors start up again, we'll make our move...

Related:

Republican Quits Congress For His Family, Cheats On His Wife, Files For Divorce

"Breasts Drive Women Wild" Article Even Better Than Promised

Racist Fake Obama T-Shirt Has Internet In Uproar

Crazy White Supremacists-- Gasp!-- Hate Obama

Gisele Bundchen's Latest Nude Shoot May Be Her Finest Work Yet

Corrupt Congresswoman Does Topless Shoot From Prison

Photo via AskMen.

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:59:00 GMT

Alex Rodriguez's trainer, in an interview in yesterday's New York Post, claims that Madonna has "brainwashed" the baseball star into turning his back on his family, among other allegations...

In a bombshell interview with The Post, Dodd Romero — Rodriguez's former trainer and godfather to his two daughters who spent last week in Paris with Cynthia Rodriguez — said he and C-Rod believe the Yankee superstar has been gradually drawn away by Madonna's allure.
"Alex, God bless him, is lost," A-Rod's ex-pal lamented. "I think he got pulled in by the dark side, if you can say that nicely. He's totally brainwashed." [MSN/Fox/NY Post]

According to Romero, it all started late last year when Madonna and A-Rod began working out together in Manhattan. From there, Madonna worked her kabbalah voodoo on the helpless hulk, to the point where Rodriguez began spending late nights "studying up" at Madonna's pad.

Soon, A-Rod fell under the spells of both kabbalah and Madonna's legendary status, neglecting his ten-month-old, who, the trainer claims, has only seen her father "a couple of times."

He said A-Rod is going through a kabbalah practice called "cleaning out your vessel," which means getting out the old and taking in the new.
"To me that's a way of saying leave your family and move on," Romero said.
After hooking up with Madonna, A-Rod was soon frequenting Manhattan's Kabbalah Centre — where he's been spotted recently — in an all-white uniform, the sect's symbol of purity.

Meanwhile, as Scanner Emily reported, Mrs. Rodriguez has allegedly started shacking up with Madonna's ex, Lenny Kravitz.

Via Fox Sports/NY Post.

Shocker: Bill Clinton Has Extramarital Affairs

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:41:00 GMT

We haven't heard from the President of the United States in a while. (No, not including George Bush-- the person last elected President was Bill Clinton.) While his wife is wrapping up her campaign with a final 24 hour push, concluding sometime around midnight this evening, Bill himself has been plenty busy. Busy getting busy, that is, at least according to anonymous sources and speculation on Defamer, via Vanity Fair.

[F]our former Clinton aides told me that, about 18 months ago, one of the president's former assistants, who still advises him on political matters, had heard so many complaints about such reports from Clinton supporters around the country that he felt compelled to try... an "intervention..."

"Clinton was apparently seeing a lot of women on the road."

One of those women was apparently the Los Angeles-based star of one of Nerve's top sex scenes, and the hottest lesbian one this side of Mulholland Drive...

If you guessed Gina Gershon, star of "Bound," then congratulations. If your name is Bill Clinton, mucho congratulations on that, you lucky bastard.

[A] certain "Air Fuck One" [or “Ron Air,” as Clinton calls Ron Burkle's jet] voyage yielded an especially persistent rumor about a donor meeting, so to speak, between Clinton and Gershon — and we hear she gave him a lot more than a check. [Other rumored companions include] Belinda Stronach, a twice-divorced billionaire auto-parts heiress and member of the Canadian Parliament 20 years his junior... a female friend in Chappaqua, a woman in a bar at a meeting of the Aspen Institute, and a public sighting of Clinton, [billionaire Steve] Bing, and a ravishing entourage in a New York elevator that, a former Clinton aide told me, led a business leader who saw them to say: I don’t know what the guy was doing, but it was so clear that it was just no good.

Wait, does this mean the Republican Party can bring Bill Clinton up on charges of prostitution? What a stud...

Via Vanity Fair.

Vito Fossella Promotes Family Values... Two Families At A Time

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:40:00 GMT

As we suspected, Vito Fossella is not the goody-two-shoes, family-values conservative, Dad of the Year winner the Republican Party made him out to be. The New York City Congressman, already the worst person in the world for bringing his best friend Dick Cheney to Brooklyn and Staten Island to fundraise for him, has outdone himself again.

And we thought Eliot Spitzer's was the ultimate hypocrite for going after whorehouses while himself visiting Ashley Alexandra Dupre in his spare time:

Representative Vito J. Fossella, the Staten Island Republican who was arrested on drunken-driving charges in Virginia last week, acknowledged on Thursday that he had fathered a daughter, now 3, in an extramarital affair. But he declined to address questions about his political future. [New York Times]

It keeps getting better: not only that, but Vito has been seen recently without his wedding ring. Dude-- you're a public official, people in the gossip community (i.e. the New York Post, Daily News, and Reuters) tend to notice shit like that. And if you're going to cheat on your wife (and kids-- that is, those kids you have with your current wife), please leave her at least the dignity to be able to end the marriage herself-- in other words, let her be the one to take her ring off first. Don't get all Rudy Guiliani on us and call a press conference announcing your divorce so she can learn about it from NY1 News.

Asshole.

Via The New York Daily News.

Emergency "Which NY Governor Would You Rather" Re-Vote

Katie Halper — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Earlier this week, we asked you which extra-maritally engaged New York Governor you would rather "get behind." In case you missed it:

Now that Spitzer has been de-governized for "going after prostitution" a little overzealously, David Paterson has come clean about his extra-marital affairs. This, of course, begs the question: which NY Governor would you rather? The sexy Spitz? Or David "he's so hot he's legally blinding" Paterson?

We want to make sure you are informed voters. So before you cast your vote, look long and hard at their photographic record, which we should have included.

And remember. It's not the size of the governorship. It's the motion of the ~~ocean~~ gubernatorial motion.

Which New York Governor Would You Rather?

Katie Halper — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:02:00 GMT

And the hits just keep on coming! Now that Spitzer has been de-governized for "going after prostitution" a little overzealously, David Paterson has come clean about his extra-marital affairs. This, of course, begs the question: which NY Governor would you rather? The sexy Spitz? Or David "he's so hot he's legally blinding" Paterson?

Which governor would you give your vote to?

Obama + Hillary = Love At Last Sight

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Damn. Talk about a dream (boat) of a ticket.

Can you imagine the genius babies that would come out of these two? We're not even talking about the legislation as co-presidents (plus Bill to complete the love triangle!) Stranger things happen every day in politics, people, so we wouldn't rule out an Obama-Clinton love affair. And this video all but proves it's been going on... right... under... our noses.

[Thanks to CamPain 2008]