Scanner : fame crawler

Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously

Emily Farris — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Our not-so-slutty sister thinks that vetting Sarah Palin is like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but funnier. We would like to take this opportunity to disclose that we have not been fully vetted. [FameCrawler]

At least she passes Elisabeth Hasselbeck's test with flying colors, because you know it's super complicated and makes lots of sense. [MollyGood]

Will celebrities please stop throwing things? First it was Russell Crowe with his cell phone, then Naomi Campbell. Now Akon, probably best known for "Smack That," is facing criminal charges after being accused of throwing a fan off of stage — and we're not talking about the small appliance. [Yahoo!]

If you're a shitty asshole who would like to hunt down women who've had abortions, you may be in luck. Abortion Tracker claims to have a record of every woman who's had an abortion since 1940 and they'll make the list available to you for one easy paymennt of $799. [Jezebel]

Anne Hathaway apparently loaned her businessman ex hundreds of thousands of dollars before the couple split earlier this summer, proving that even rich guys can be loser bums (except, we actually already knew that). [Starpulse]

Even though they ganked our feature, we have to give it to dListed for catching this who would you rather: Dog the Bounty Hunter or his wife, Beth? Um, can we vote for the dog? [dListed]

Of all the people in the world we'd like to tell to "fuck off," Elton John doesn't even come close to making the list. Not so for Lilly Allen who drunkently disrepescted the singer at the GQ Men of the Year Awards. [MTV]

Hide Your Cigarettes and Tanning Beds: There's Another Spears Girl in the World

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:56:00 GMT

Okay, we don't know if it's a Spears or an Aldridge, but a baby did come out of Jamie Lynn Spears — not out of her vagina, because she apparently delivered via C-section (gotta keep that shit tight, yo), but still.

Scanner readers, please give a warm welcome to...

...little Maddie Briann (Spears or Aldridge).

Maddie we like. We're "enh" on Briann but at least it's not Krystal or something, right?

[FameCrawler: Jamie Lynn Gives Her Baby A Beautiful Name!!]

Jamie Lynn Spears: Legal in Some States

Sloppy Seconds: Special Pregnancy Edition

Scanner Highs and Lows: The Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnancy Edition...and Other Stuff

Sloppy Seconds: Is Jamie Lynn Spears a MILF?

Why We'll Never Be Famous: Jamie Lynn Spears' Baby

The Light at the End of the Fallopian Tube: Nickelodeon + Jamie Lynn Spears After School Special?

What Bothers Us Most About Jamie Lynn Spears' Itty Bitty Baby Bump?

Jessica Alba Finally Pops Out a Baby

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:49:00 GMT

Is it us, or did it seem like Jessica Alba was pregnant for-evah? No more, boys and girls. She finally popped the thing out on Saturday. So everyone please give a warm welcome to...

... little Honor Marie Warren.

No wonder Alba and her long-time boyfriend Cash Warren ran off and got married last month. You can't name a bastard child Honor, now can you?

[FameCrawler: Jessica Alba Names Her Baby!]

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Jessica Alba Did What?

Have You Seen Jessica Alba's Rack, er Belly, Lately?

Which Co-Star Was Afraid of Jessica Alba's Naked Body Before She Was Pregnant?

Jessica Alba Likes "Some Ass"

Jessica Alba's Pregnant -- And Babble Totally Called It

Ashlee Simpson Sure is Knocked Up

Emily Farris — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:24:00 GMT

Is our little sister the only little sister that's not knocked up?

FameCrawler has confirmed (via US Weekly) that Ashlee Simpson has, indeed, been knocked up by her boyfriend turned fiance (we wonder why), Pete Wentz.

Ashlee Simpson is expecting her first child with fiance Pete Wentz. Simpson, 23, and Wentz, 28, just announced their engagement on Wednesday. There goes the "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby..." song I was going to sing at their wedding.

All exciting, indeed, but much more pressing: we didn't even know what band Wentz was in until FameCrawler went and ruined it for us. We were happy to know him only as "Ashlee Simpson's rocker ~~boyfriend~~ ~~fiance~~ baby daddy.

[FameCrawler: CONFIRMED: Ashlee Simpson is Pregnant]

Rumor Mongering: Did Justin Timberlake Impregnate Kate Hudson?

Emily Farris — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 20:38:00 GMT

Before you say anything, we need to get a few things straight. 1. We're not even sure Kate Hudson is pregnant. 2. Isn't Justin Timberlake dating Jessica Biel? But while our rumor-mongering big little sister FameCrawler is speculating that JTimb might have planted his seed in the spawn of Goldie Hawn, we're happy to oblige, or at least get in on the conversation.

According to our sister site, the two were spotted getting cozy at a Hollywood club back in January. Apparently people even saw them kissing. But we've kissed lots of people who haven't impregnated us. Lots. Lots and lots.

What do you think? No way or will we dismiss it now only find out on Baby Hudson's E! True Hollywood Story twenty years from now that it's true?

[FameCrawler: Justin Timberlake Impregnated Kate Hudson?]

Helena Bonham Carter Loves Her Boobs...Now

Emily Farris — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Now that they have a purpose, that is.

Carter, who gave birth to her second child with husband Tim Burton in December, loves that her breasts have a purpose, loves breastfeeding, and just plain loves her boobs.

So do we, Helena, so do we.

[Via our grown-up little sister Fame Crawler]

We Knew It: Halle Berry is Terrified of Giving Birth

Emily Farris — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 19:59:00 GMT

Remember last week when Halle Berry said she wanted to stay pregnant forever? Because she was glowing? Yeah, we didn't buy that bullshit for a second.

"I'm worried about giving birth. I've been pretty cool about my pregnancy up until lately, but suddenly I'm realising that there's a baby that's got to come out and someone is going to have to be there to push it out.

"Emotionally, I'm a bit of a mess. Besides all the hormones bubbling and boiling inside me, the anticipation is starting to get to me. I'm more nervous now than I was during the Oscars."

[Previously on Scanner: Halle Berry Wants to Stay Pregnant Forever]

[Via our younger but much more grown-up sister Fame Crawler]