Scanner : fashion shows

Going to Japan? Don't Forget Your Parasol and Pink Wig.

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:17:00 GMT

We've just learned about another extremely strange fashion trend in Japan: Gothic-Lolita.

Serious, what the shit is this? Apparently it involves a lot of bows.

Thankfully, Reuters has taken the time to deliver us from our own ignorance by explaining the trend in more detail.

According to 24-year-old, part-time worker Eriko Enokizome, "Lolita is my basic needs. Without Lolita, I cannot be myself so I'm extremely glad that I found Lolita fashion."

Hmmm. OK. What else?

"Gothic-Lolita fashion is like that special magic that allows me to become a different character," said 25-year-old businesswoman Chizuru Matsuda.

"It's been eight years since I discovered this fashion, but it took me two years to actually complete my overall style."

Right. Still have no goddamn clue what is going on. But that's cool. Who needs logical explanations of fashion trends when you've got coordinated ruffles!

It's Friday, And There's Just Too Much Good Stuff To Squeeze It All In

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 20:10:00 GMT

We're busy getting ready for the debate tonight... stocking our liquor cabinets, preparing pancakes, you know, the usual...

We don't have time to tell you all about the other amazing stories going on in the world right now. The stories that involve Sacha Baron Cohen's invasion of an Italian fashion show... Wonkette's most hilarious debate watch party drinking game... Johnny Cash's beyond-the-grave meditation on freedom... and much more...

But we'll give you a varrry nice taste...

Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno crashed the Iceberg show in Milan and walked the runway in that hilarious outfit. He was soon escorted out, but not before footage was captured for his totally ridonkulous new movie film... [Telegraph]

People Magazine released a beautiful and preachy recording of Johnny Cash reciting "I Am the Nation."

Fark has video of the first 1992 VP debate, which is apparently going to be somehow similar to this evening's Presidential battle. Meanwhile, Wonkette's drinking game for tonight is the greatest thing they've ever come up with.

A press report indicates the McCain campaign is in utter "chaos" following McCain's decision to suddenly fly to the site of the debate.

And a candidate for governor of Bangkok has pulled a McCain and suspended her electorial fight after her campaign manager drowned during a publicity stunt. The campaign manager was swimming in a canal with the candidate call attention to the area's unsafe drinking water when he began flailing his arms. TV cameras and onlookers assumed the worker was goofing off and didn't rush to help until after he had long since disappeared. The campaign manager, by the way, has a seven-months-pregnant wife. Damn.

That is all.

Borat Make New Movie Film For You!

Is Jessica Simpson Headed for a Life of Bad Clothes and TV Dinners?

McCain Sabotages His Own Attempt To Save The Nation

Which Candidate Spends More on Make-Up Than We Do On Shoes?

BREAKING: John McCain Suspends His Campaign

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:17:00 GMT

Golly, we just love these Fashion Week photos... not of any of these scary-looking pencils on the catwalk, but the celebutantes on the prowl after hours...

Agyness Deyn, boyfriend/alleged fiancee of Albert Hammond, Jr., was one of the healthier models to grace London's catwalks this week. My God, the woman who wore the outfit Agyness is wearing in these pictures? Please, if you're reading this, get some help.) After a show, she was out in a dress someone else wore and which was designed by her chum Henry Holland, and partying it up with Jaime Winstone in their revealing outfits.

But what's Agyness saying to Jaime in this photo... or is Jaime saying something to her? Your captions, in the comments...

Via The Daily Mail.

Related:

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Mischa Barton's Nip Slip

Caption This: Monkey Love

Caption This: Perv Photogs And Bai Ling's Nipple Slip

Who Tops People's Best Dressed List?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:35:00 GMT

While we were completely surprised by People Magazine's pick as the Best-Dressed Star of 2008, we completely agree with their choice.

As for the rest, well...

10. Charlize Theron

9. Eva Mendes

8. Michelle Obama

7. Sarah Jessica Parker Broderick Bradshaw

6. Heidi Klum

5. Kate Hudson

4. Anne Hathaway

3. Fergie

2. Gwyneth Paltrow

1. Rihanna

...what do you think?

Via People.

Related:

Vanity Fair's Best Dressed List: Perfect or Pathetic?

While You Were Sleeping: Obama Narrows His Choices

Sloppy Seconds: Kanye West's Arrest

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Sloppy Seconds: The Stunning Conclusion To The Pimp Minister's Trial

Hot or Not: The Corset?

Emily Farris — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:21:00 GMT

We've never been a big fan of the corset. Perhaps the ill will goes back to our love of "Little Women" and Jo's disdain for it. Or maybe it's just because we like to breathe and have some wiggle room if should we stop off for a bacon cheeseburger on our way home from the S&M club. We do, however, understand the desire for a cinched waist, and we can see its sexual appeal (especially the one pictured above). But this week in Bryant Park, designers premiered new fashions with the corset as the centerpiece, and we're less than impressed. What do you think? Are corsets hot or not? Should they be a part of a woman's everyday street wear or is it better to have it on hand for play time?

Betsey Johnson's corset:

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 17:38:00 GMT

Who is this Sex Pistols reject and why is he allowed to peer down Lindsay Lohan's cleavage?

Love her or hate her, Lindsay Lohan still has the best boobs in Hollywood, or at least the best cleavage. And as you can see, Lindsay's 15-year-old boyfriend, Sam Ronson thinks so too. Now that's one lucky kid. Could you imagine still being in High School, and getting to date Lindsay Lohan? I think it's every young boy's dream.

Har har. The real story is that Lindsay and Samantha Ronson (who is actually a 31-year-old female DJ from Los Angeles, despite these cheap jokes) were in Bryant Park for Fashion Week, where news reports of an impending marriage have them avoiding the press. More importantly, there are the beginnings of lesbian baby reports:

British newspaper The News of The World claims the Mean Girls actress has approached one of her former boyfriends to help with the conception. A source close to Lindsay tells the paper, "Lindsay is in a very happy place at the moment. She's been having deep discussions about a baby.
"She wants a natural birth and has spoken to Sam about getting one of her ex-boyfriend's to help out. They don't want to adopt." [News.au.com]

Disappointingly, this "source" (of bullshit) doesn't know or won't say who the ex is. But whoever it is, they are sure to say yes... they'll say yes to anything while lost in Lindsay's #1 boobs...

Top photo via Egotastic.

This Week In Gayness: Sam Ronson's Gay Tell-All About Lindsay?

While You Were Sleeping: Sex and Chocolate

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson: "A Lovely Couple"

While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked

Sloppy Seconds: Matthew Broderick And Sarah Jessica Parker On The Run?

Vanity Fair's Best Dressed List: Perfect or Pathetic?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:28:00 GMT

The 2008 Vanity Fair International Best-Dressed list includes Ivanka Trump, Michelle Obama, and 8 other classy ladies, plus ten gentlemen, fashion professionals, couples, and more...

Are they missing anyone? Should Ivanka been vetoed for her mere affiliation with the Donald? And just who in blazes is Count Manfredi Della Gherardesca? He sounds like Don Novello's replacement character for Father Guido Sarducci, and no, that wasn't mean to be derogatory. Fill us in, after the jump:

Women

Charlotte Gainsbourg
Princess Alexandra of Greece
Marjorie Gubelmann
Princess Mafalda of Hesse
Fran Lebowitz
Michelle Obama
Bee Shaffer
Tilda Swinton
Ivanka Trump
Renée Zellweger

Men

Tiki Barber
Jonathan Becker
Count Manfredi Della Gherardesca
Lapo Elkann
Richard E. Grant
Lenny Kravitz
Luis and Rafael Medina
Hidetoshi Nakata
Nicolas Sarkozy
Gay Talese

Couples

David and Victoria Beckham
The Earl and Countess of Cawdor
Damon Dash and Rachel Roy
Frédéric Fekkai and Shirin von Wulffen
Mitch Glazer and Kelly Lynch
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore
David Lauren and Lauren Bush
Viscount and Viscountess Linley
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Ruben and Isabel Toledo

Fashion Professionals

Amy Astley
Tory Burch
Jefferson Hack
Liya Kebede
Alexandra Kotur
Margherita Missoni
Stefano Pilati
Michael Roberts
Katherine Ross
Hedi Slimane

Fashion Originals

Peter Beard
Carlyne Cerf de Dudzeele
Lisa Eisner

Hall of Fame

Alba Clemente
George Clooney
Marina Rust Connor
Anderson Cooper
Sofia Coppola
Jemima Khan
Anna Piaggi

Via Vanity Fair.

Related:

What Do We Think About Vanity Fair's Fake Celebrities?

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture Of Brad Pitt?

Shocker: Bill Clinton Has Extramarital Affairs

Devil Wears Prada, But His Minions Wear Comme des Garcons!

Top 10 Celebrity Moms Who Could Be Hookers

George Clooney's Ex Posing Nude For Playboy?

Monika Jagaciak is Fourteen

Bryan Christian — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:46:00 GMT

So, we're beginning to wonder if, while we weren't looking, we might have gotten totally old and stuff. For instance, we just found a long gray hair dead in the center of our chest, like a bullseye left by Father Time for his good pal the Grim Reaper. Oh, also: we're kind of floored that they're letting Monika Jagacia -- a fourteen-year-old from Poland -- walk a runway in Australian Fashion Week. Sure, she's stunning and all, but... you know... fourteen! FOURTEEN!

Hey, hang on -- it can't be that weird of a question if, like, news.com.au was in such a scramble to confirm her age, right? Right?

***UPDATE 7/4 18.00: Jagaciak’s birth year, 1994, was published on the website of her mother agency, Gaga. IMG’s Sydney office claimed today that she is older than “13 or 14”. According to a representative of Gaga’s head office in Poland, with whom I have just spoken, Jagaciak’s birthday, as listed in their company records and as apparently also sighted on her passport, is 15/01/1994, making her 14.***

Here's hoping that Monika's mom and dad are sensible enough to keep her away from drugs, alcohol, couples dancing, and David Blaine.

Well, whew. We feel better now that we've gotten that off our chest. All righty then, leave us alone for a while; our programs are about to start.

[via]

Caption This: Liza Minnelli at New York Fashion Week

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:21:00 GMT

[Image via New York Magazine/Getty]

Scanner's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Wrap-up

Bryan Christian — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 13:25:00 GMT

Hey, did you guys check out the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night? We sure did. It was OMG awesome! There were performances by Seal and the Spice Girls, ridiculous angel wings, a brief sojourn into reality tv, and like 5 kinds of cleavage. Plus we learned a lot about the VS girls -- and about ourselves. Was it "The Sexiest Night on TV"? Click through for our minute-by-minute recap!

10:01 PM -- Sorry, but there's something deeply wrong with this comedy intro about Heidi Klum getting in shape for the show. Are they trying to make us believe that Klum lives in the suburbs?

10:02 -- Hey, it's TV's Puddy! Any party with Seal and Puddy is gonna be fantastic. Hey, "Seal and Puddy"? They should solve crimes together. I bet they'd get in some sticky situations! Ha ha ha ha kill us now.

10:03 -- Who's that guy performing? Is that will.i.am? Yes, it is. Not that anyone here cares, they're all watching the girls. Does the genius behind "Let's Get Retarded" have any self-respect? We hope not, because otherwise we might mistake his defeated delivery here as making him will.i.kill.myself.later.

10:04 -- OK, we don't care how gay Neil Patrick Harris is in real life: he's kind of watching the show like a straight man. Maybe he's in character?

10:05 -- Hey, look at this: little bios of the ladies whose cleavage we will be Googling tomorrow! VS Model Izabel was discovered at 14 years old. She likes basketball and cooking and hanging out on the beach and diabetes. Oh, sorry -- she works to end diabetes, which we think means she doesn't like it after all. "My life is perfect," she says.

10:06 -- Spice Girls, people!!! The Spice Girls are performing later on! We totally forgot they were doing this! Our life is perfect now, too!

10:10 -- Host Heidi Klum celebrates her 10th year with Victoria's Secret with a short film documenting the many ways she's become our favorite model/mom/German in the world. Oh, look at how young and adorable and freaking hot she's been throughout the years! Oh, wait -- there is one thing that's missing from this video.

10:13 -- We're back to showing off the clothes now, and you know, with all the girls sashaying around and the semi-hard rock and roll, this is starting to feel like an episode of CSI: Miami. OMG look, there's Delco from TV's CSI: Miami! It is an episode of CSI:Miami! Omigod, which model is gonna get killed? Please don't let it be Heidi! We need Seal to be uplifiting tonight!

10:14 -- Dean Cain could totally play Elvis. You know which kind.

10:14 -- What is with all the girls wearing wings? Seriously, does that do anything for you guys out there? Ladies, would you feel sexier wearing 9-feet-wide diamelle-encrusted angel wings? What's next, the VS girls driving out in an art car?

10:15 -- VS Model Karolina's nickname is "Koka Kola"? That's actually a great nickname. Better than ours, anyway. We hate being called "Fresca."

10:16 -- OK, second Victoria's Secret question: what is with the word "Pink" getting plastered all over VS clothes? I mean, isn't that like having the word "meat" scrawled on tighty whiteys. Oh, ok; we'd totally buy those. Never mind.

10:17 -- One lucky civilian girl is going to be chosen to walk with the VS girls in the fashion show? Omigod, this is turning into America's Next Top Model! How could Heidi let this happen? Shouldn't the girls be forced to create their own stupid angel wings out of a pizza box and potted vine or something?

10:21 -- You know, when we walked out of Transformers this summer, we couldn't look at any cars outside the theater without expecting them to change into a robot and start destroying buildings. I think that's sort of similar to how we were just watching a commercial for animated holiday favorite Frosty the Snowman, featuring the scene where he's leading the kids through town, and honestly: we expected him to strip off his clothes and strut his icy ass right up to that traffic cop. Cripes, it'd better be the same thing as when we saw Transformers.

10:24 -- Katy, the lucky girl who was picked from all the other civilian girls to walk in the show, is wearing what looks like skanky 70's circus clothes. Guess they're letting her walk in some sort of themed collection? Presumably this will be the crummiest presentation of the evening, but some other model we think is named Rosie says "I'm so excited." Rosie is dressed unmistakably in cowgirl clothes. "I'm a cowgirl!" she says. Thanks, Rosie!

10:25 -- VS Model Miranda might be our favorite new VS girl. Why is that? Is it her adorable Australian accent? Hey, what happened to our old favorite non-Klum-VS girl, Gisele? Maybe they wanted to pay her in dollars?

10:26 -- Hey, where's Alessandra too?

10:27 -- Katy does her walk in front of everyone and just owns it! Way to go Katy! That sassy guy from CSI:NY found it arousing, we think. Either that or his phone was ringing. In his balls! You hear that, Katy? Get some CSI action; you're swimming in it, after all.

10:28 -- Seal is wearing a white suit with so many sparkly things bedazzled onto it that he looks like he's being thrown into a windshield by a disco ball. He's dazzling us so much we can't concentrate on his uplifiting music. Curse you, bedazzled Seal!

10:29 -- Heidi's "singing" with Seal now? Is there anything she doesn't have her claws in on this show?

10:31 -- VS Model Selita! How adorable is she? Her nickname is "Silly"! We love her. We remember the first time we saw her, in the late great Jane Magazine, and we loved her from the first. Is she still dating Nick Cannon? We sure hate you, Nick Cannon!

10:32 -- More Spice Girls! They sure seem like a barrel of monkeys. We'd love to be hanging out with the Spice Girls. They seem like real people, don't they? Hey, how many of them had sex with Simon Cowell again?

10:38 -- VS Model Mar-ee-sa? Is that how you say Marisa Miller's name? We read somewhere that Mar-ee-sa's first modeling gig was in Perfect 10 magazine, which we won't fully believe until someone gets us actual physical proof, preferably in mint or near mint condition. Bravo, Mar-ee-sa, for proving that doing smut doesn't have to be the kiss of death that everyone says it is!

10:39 -- VS Model Alessandra, finally! Has she been hiding out? Are we just not noticing her in stuff? Are we distracted by NPH?

10:40 -- Ryan Seacrest looks unconfortable. Those wings that all the girls are wearing look uncomfortable. Mar-ee-sa looks like she just rolled out of bed looking amazing and is debating whether to brush her teeth or make tea. She must have never had an ugly day in her life. Oh, sometimes, we really really want to be a hot girl.

10:41 -- Alessandra has a checkerboard-y skirt type thing on. And holy smoke -- she sounds like Grace Jones! Or a foreign Dr. Girlfriend. Oh... foreign Dr. Girlfriend...

10:43 -- Heidi says "If the names Dali, Man Ray and Magritte mean anything to you, than this next collection may mean something to you." Or something. And then: Huh? It's lingerie models wearing dada-ish inflected clothes, walking in front of big black and white swirls to an Apollo 440 song that we heard in, like, a thousand commercials in the year 2000. What? Is this a thing that's actually happening? Or did some old ecstacy from the fatty deposits in our stomach lining just pop open?

10:46 -- The Spice Girls are excited! They're wearing saucy retro stewardess uniforms, so frankly we're excited too. It's a great look, even if they did crib it from Goldfrapp.

10:46 -- Hey, the first thing we see after someone announcing the Spice Girls finally taking the stage is some guy doing a headspin. No fair, Victoria's Secret! Spice must flow! (Oh man, it must have been some E.)

10:47 -- This is like the sluttiest USO show ever! Big ups from the crowd when Posh takes the mike, even though it's pretty obvious that Mel C is the only one of the Spices actually singing. (Guess some things never change.) Seriously, we've asked this before, but if Posh is really the most popular Spice Girl today what does that say about the world? She used to be, like, ~~Alan~~ Andrew Fletcher in Depeche Mode: no one could figure out what she actually did other than just stand there. And now? She's in the captain's seat.

10:48 -- Oh, strike that: Mel C is leading the girls in a big, climactic formation. She's great, seriously. Isn't she the one that supposedly put out the only good post-Spice album? Baby Spice looks totally bored. Maybe it's the lyrics: "Do do do do. Do do do do. Always be together. Ba ba ba ba. Ba ba ba ba. Stay that way forever." Clearly that's in fact what happened.

10:53 -- Best line of the evening: an announcer going "She's got vintage baubles on, Miranda." Followed by Miranda, who is in fact wearing Christmas tree decorations, coquettishly saying "You can hang me on your tree if you like." Which for anyone from the South is a distressing thing to hear. Way to kill the moment, Miranda!

10:54 -- Seal's back, and he wants us to "always feel amazing." Well, how could we not while he's still wearing that suit? Actually, Seal is still wearing the most bedazzled suit ever, Selita is dressed as a Christmas tree, Miranda is presumably going to be attempting to hang herself from Selita, a red-clad choir is appearing out of nowhere to sing "Hallelujah" over and over, and oh, here comes another girl dressed like a 10-foot-wide stocking. Uh, it must actually be have been some Pufinstuff-level LSD that's kicking in, 'cause we are definitely having a bad trip. Could someone just show us to the chill out tent, please?

10:57 -- Hey, even Seal looks bored now too. Oh, guess he's just been singing while he waits for the Mrs. to show up. Maybe they're sharing a ride home. Oh, here she comes, dressed as a massive, switchblade-action snowflake, of course. Well, drive safe, you two!