Scanner : glamour

Madonna Does Marilyn Monroe Then Lindsay Lohan Does Marilyn Monroe Then Lindsay Lohan Does Madonna

Emily Farris — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:07:00 GMT

As part of its American Icons special issue, Glamour has dressed Lindsay Lohan up as Madonna, of course, like a virgin.

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A Few of My Favorite Things: Quilted Coffee Cuff

Emily Farris — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:41:00 GMT

I like things. I have a bit of a shopping problem; in my 26 years I've acquired a lot of useless crap. But every once in a while I find a gem that I will hold on to for a long, long time. And I want to share these things with you. So here you have it, a new Friday feature: A Few of My Favorite Things.

It's raining in New York. Hard. Soon I'm going to force myself out of my cozy memory foam bed with 600-thread-count sheets (more of my favorite things... and two of the few home goods I didn't drag in from the street), pull on my rain boots and head down the street for some social interaction and a piping hot cup of Portland coffee.

When I arrive, I'm going to pull my beautifully quilted, one-of-a-kind coffee cuff out of my pocket and slip it over the cardboard cup. While it's not as environmentally sound as just taking my own cup, I'm saving paper by not using cardboard cuffs and I feel like I'm adding a little country glamour to my morning. And let me tell you, with banjo blisters, bed head, a hangover and last night's make-up smeared across my face, I could use a little glamour this morning.

If you'd like a coffee cuff of your own, you can buy one here.

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John Hodgman Has Great Taste In Women

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:54:00 GMT

We've known John Hodgman since the old days, the pre-Daily Show, pre-PC guy in the Mac-PC commercials, even pre "The Areas of My Expertise," his bestselling fake almanac. Now he's back with another apparent classic, "More Information Than You Require," which will hilariously live up to its title, we're sure.

This month, he served as Glamour's love advice columnist (how loveably nerdtastic of them-- our hopes for humanity have been elevated)... discussing marriage, asking guys out, ethical dilemmas, and, of course, hot airline pilots...

Here's a taste:

Q: I'm an airline pilot, which means I'm around lots of men. The problem? It's tough to flirt and still be seen as a professional in my industry.

A: You have overlooked an important fact, which is that you are a female pilot, and thus automatically 1,000 percent hotter than most women. Therefore, I'd say the problem is not your job, but the fact that you're looking for love with a colleague, a move often fraught with ethical dilemmas and hardly ever worth it. Instead of checking out coworkers, the next time you spot a cute passenger, ask him out over the loudspeaker after you announce the altitude. This always works. Trust me.

Q: I haven't had a boyfriend in years! Got any advice on grabbing male attention?

A: Have you considered becoming a pilot?

You can check out the rest here. His book, which includes a chapter entitled HOW TO BECOME A MINOR TELEVISION PERSONALITY, is available via this link.

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Running in Heels: It's Hard Enough Just Walking, Moscow

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:30:00 GMT

Ladies, we have to give it to you-- there's no way we'd be able to walk around in those things for more than thirty seconds without massacring an entire post office full of people in a blind rage. They probably look as uncomfortable to us as they are to wear.

That being said... what in God's name is going on with this new trend of street races in heels? We were hoping the one sponsored by Glamour in March was some sort of sick marketing scam/joke, but whatever it is, alas, it's catching on...

Apparently this isn't even the first time. The middle photo is from 2006-- in Russia... and sponsored by Glamour Magazine.

A girl attends a high heels race in Moscow, capital of Russia, July 8, 2006. Girls took part in the race wearing high heels with required minimum height of 8 centimeters to compete for a total bonus of 100.000 roubles (3,726 dollars). The race was held by a Russian fashion magazine.

This year, it went up to a minimum of 9 centimeters. NINE CENTIMETERS! Ladies, would you take 100.000 roubles, excuse us, three thousand bucks to run in heels? Oh wait... nope, no more prize money... it's just...

This year it took place near the GUM store by Red Square. The closeness of shops seemed to have raised the participants' spirits, as the main prize was a shopping certificate.

A crowd of onlookers gathered at the event scene to support the competitors who had spent more than two hours preparing for the race and making sure they look glamorous enough. Whilst some girls were queuing up to get fashion stylist’s service, more experienced racers were taping their shoes to their legs.

Some of the runners fell down and dropped out of the race just three seconds after the start. For the leader, however, it took only 12-14 seconds to reach the finish line.

Luckily, this year no heels were broken.

Via Russia Today.

Related:

What's Wrong With This Picture? Women Racing in High Heels

Sex Blogger Fired From Lesser Sex Blog

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:39:00 GMT

We're pretty good at writing about sex. One of the reasons for that is that we actually know something about it, apparently unlike Mike Cherico, who was fired from Glamour Magazine's Man Needs Date, which we will not be linking to.

The Post and other sources have already covered this, but none of them got down and dirty with the smutty details like Jezebel did...

To get himself fired, Cherico did the following:

1) He blogged about groping some girl while on a date with his lovey-dovey girlfriend, who also wrote for his blog.

2) He sent his gal an e-mail telling her he was going to blog about the groping and "please don't be mad."

3) He backpedaled in a later e-mail to Miss Smarty Shoes, the gal, by saying he was "probably drunk" when he wrote the previous e-mail. It was sent at 3:30pm.

4) He came over her place and watched TV while she cooked (hey, "Lost" must've been on) and then told her they couldn't have sex because he'd boned twice already that day, including at least once with a really "hot" bimbo. What a flatterer!

5) And what did his blog post say that got him fired? He thought a cut on Miss Smarty Shoes's lip meant she had herpes.

Miss Smarty Shoes is no hero in this, however. She continued to see Cherico, even after he cut short an earlier date to "go make a drug deal" and, on their first date, made her listen to his ex-girlfriend ranting and raving while their end of the line was muted. To top it off, she had unprotected sex with him later that night.

Lesson learned, ladies. Only trust female sex bloggers...

[Photo: Glamour]

Scanner Highs and Lows: Michael McDonald Still Hasn't Called

Emily Farris — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Damn, this was a busy week. We fell in and out of love, we traveled, we encountered racism, and as always, we saw some boobs. Oh, and story of our lives: he never called.

Highs:

Susan Sarandon's boobs.

A sandwich that we want to make love to (even if we might throw up a little after).

You can now get a double dildo in Texas!

If you like "The Wire," you'll love "Wire You Laughing?"

Coolio has a cooking show and we want in on that shit.

Michael Musto does Lindsay Lohan's Marilyn Monroe... a little better, if you ask us.

A pro-Barack Obama video not made by Will.I.Am.

Ellen Page might have come out on Saturday Night Live. Or maybe not.

Lows:

As much as we'd like to think otherwise, we learned that Kansas City—Scanner Emily's hometown, which is in Missouri—is still a little racist.

Women running in high heels to prove that "shopping is a sport."

At least we get something out of bad movies: great reviews.

We're not sure if this is actually a good or bad thing, but Italian men are being fined for grabbing their crotches in public.

Outer Space can suck it. So there.

Can we just wrap-up this Democratic primary already?

Michael McDonald never called Scanner Emily. We're still waiting!

We learned that Hooters will survive the apocalypse.

What's Wrong With This Picture? Women Racing in High Heels

Emily Farris — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 16:36:00 GMT

Look closely. A few of our thoughts after the jump.

1) The most obvious is that women are running in high heels, which is both painful and dangerous.

2) This "race" is sponsored by Glamour Magazine.

2) The theme of said race is "shopping is a sport."

4) This does as much for women as the Miss America contest.

We should make it clear that we have nothing against Glamour Magazine, high heels, women, running or shopping (confession: I, Scanner Emily, have a serious shopping problem). Our problem is this particular combination of these things. Glamour, we're a little disappointed in you. Don't you support strong, independent women who make change in the world and stand for something in sensible yet stylish shoes? How about leaving races that trivialize women up to Maxim or Playboy and sponsor a real race for something important? Or at least make men run in heels, too.

[Cnews: Women dash for cash in stiletto heels]