Scanner : gmail

Gmail's April Fool's Prank Helps You End Lame Relationships

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:51:00 GMT

Google has been up to their usual April 1st shenanigans all day long, first with the gBall (from today's While You Were Sleeping post) and now with the Gmail prank, called the Autopilot, which saves you the trouble of actually responding to all the idiots who crowd your inbox with obnoxious invoices, outstanding debt reminders, and passive-aggressive jokes about your relationship.

Oh, if only this was real. By the way, we can see the page because we're signed into Gmail, but if you're still one of those sad AOL or Hotmail people, here are the highlights:

But our favorite part-- by far-- is the Frequently Asked Questions section:

FAQ

How does Gmail mirror my communication style?
The more Gmail messages Autopilot can sample, the better. With fewer than 100 messages, there may not be enough data to calibrate Autopilot effectively. You can adjust tone, typo propensity, and preferred punctuation from the Autopilot tab under Settings.

Ah, Gmail, we do appreciate you so... even though you'll never make this prank a reality...

Photo via. More foolishness via Google. If the above photos are too small, click them for a new window and resize.

Related:

New York Times: Iraq War Ends

A History of MIT Pranks, In Glorious Pictures...

People are Jokesters Today!

While You Were Sleeping: Miley Cyrus Dies in A Freak Car Accident

While You Were Sleeping: Diablo Cody's Super Porno Limo Rides

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:12:00 GMT

Gmail is here to rescue you from regrettable sent message. Of course, you have to immediately regret sending the e-mail for the feature to work.

M.I.A. replaced Amy Winehouse in the Coachella lineup.

We don't even know what to say about this woman who is no longer attracted to her laid-off husband.

Improv Everywhere staged an art opening on a New York City subway platform.

The strip club job fair appears to have been a success.

Winnipeg is finally safe to drive in.

The top film at the box office was not I Love You, Man or the equally-hyped Julia Roberts-Clive Owen movie Duplicity. Instead, another presumably dumb Nicholas Cage movie took the top spot. (How was it, really, and why did you bother?)

Diablo Cody's friends called their limo rides with the star screenwriter "super porno."

And Ashton Kutcher posted a TwitPic of wife Demi Moore bending over in a bikini. And she was thrilled.

Let's Settle This Ridiculous First-Date Pay Debate

Coke Ad Offends the Entire Country of Sweden

Sloppy Seconds: It's Friday, Everybody's Gone, And We Don't Have A Clever Title

Ina Maier — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Despite what it looks like, it's been a long, hard day, and the only thing that got us through it were these photos of baby Orangutangs.

Funny! Google’s StreetView cam caught one British guy puking his guts out on a sidewalk. The Brits complained, the Goog took it down, but you can still see the photo here.

Remember that spider from yesterday? Yeah…not so lethal. Apparently it was misidentified. Scanner PSA: Whole Foods everywhere are now safe!

Oh, and they caught the man who shot an NYC woman with a 30-inch arrow. Apparently it was an accident. That’s a big accident.

Speaking of accidents, ever accidentally, send your boss a photo of you doing bong rips? Us neither. Doesn't matter. The point is, Gmail just launched a new feature: Undo Send. You’ve got about 5 seconds to stop the email from going through, but that might just be enough.

Apropos of nothing, this is a really creepy fleece baby holder that left us more or less speechless.

Aaaaand This Is Why You're Fat (which you may remember from an extra greasy edition of Food We’d Like To F*ck) got a book deal. We’d congratulate them, but we’re too jealous. And fat.

Happy weekend!

Google Launches "Mail Goggles", Bloggers Everywhere Stop Getting Laid

While You Were Sleeping: Scanners in Austin

Sloppy Seconds: Nine-Year-Old Girl Marries in Texas

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:39:00 GMT

This is the best news we've heard all day: apparently Andy Richter will serve as Conan O'Brien's sidekick when Conan takes over The Tonight Show on June 1. Dear Andy Richter, while we love you even when you're not by Conan's side, please do not leave this time to do any more sitcoms. Thank you. [AntiCool]

And the worst news we've heard all day: there's a Gmail phishing scam spreading like wildfire this evening. We've already gotten two requests. Read this before you open any 'chat' emails. [Mashable]

Diablo Cody + zombies = awesomeness. We hope. [AfterEllen]

Is it possible that Cameron Diaz is finally going to settle down? [FameCrawler]

If you'd like to read some psychohipsterbabble that we can't really wrap our heads around read this. [Vulture]

Best headline of the day: "Man sues ex-girlfriend for hairy postcards." [APP]

This is really sad and (we don't want to sound insensitive) but also, sort-of, um, creepy? Maybe we're just heartless and can't quite get behind the fact that a couple in Texas staged a wedding for their nine-year-old daughter. Perhaps what bothers us most is that at that age, the one thing she wanted to do before she died was get married. [Video: CNN]

Google Launches "Mail Goggles", Bloggers Everywhere Stop Getting Laid

Ina Maier — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:40:00 GMT

In a stroke of what can only be inebriated genius, Google has launched a new Gmail Labs feature called Mail Goggles, designed to prevent you from sending those dastardly drunken e-mails you so thoroughly and no doubt nauseatingly regret the next morning. So, how exactly does it work?

Well, Google makes the fair assumption that the last thing any besotted sender would want to do while attempting to e-profess their latent and late-night love is answer a few mildly difficult math questions. So, Mail Goggles (when activated) offers up this handy-dandy "Are You Sure You Want To Send This Email?" Pop Quiz!

Now, while it's a noble effort, we can't help but point out that these arithmetically-oriented confirmation questions are not taking into account such mathematical savants as ourselves. (True story!) Which is why we recommend this version, thanks to Internet Superstar, TopherChris.

Try answering those bad boys 6 beers deep.

via Official Gmail Blog.

April Fool's Day Jokes We Can Actually See Through

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:42:00 GMT

April Fool's Day is not a happy day here at Scanner. OK, actually, it could be butterflies and roses for 4/5 of Scanner, we don't know. But for Scanner Nicole, it's a day when she becomes victim to her innate gullibility and people end up laughing at her. Tattoo your toddler? That was a radio prank, and Nicole fell for it. On April Fool's Day! Totally fucking pathetic.

BUT, this year, we will not be fooled. We are armed and ready to reject every single news item that comes our way as a hoax. Woody Allen suing American Apparel, ha! Sorry Scanner Brian, but we're not buying it. Mugabe possibly ceding power in Zimbabwe? Nice try New York Times. What do you think we were born yesterday?

We've been spotting hoaxes so successfully, we don't even care if they're real. Although one trick has certainly not sailed by unnoticed. The offender after the jump:

Seems like a really convenient email feature, but it's totally fake! Consider your cover blown Gmail Custom Time! Of course we only gloat because we fell for Gmail Paper last year.

Gmail Scans and Semen Tanks

Emily Farris — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 18:33:00 GMT

A tipster, Ali, sent us this email:

You know how Gmail posts little "Web Clips" at the top of your inbox? I don't know if they're personalized or anything, but I wasn't sure why I should care that semen tanks are on sale. You'll be happy to know that MVE has the best prices on the net for all your Bovine Semen storage needs: sementanks.com

Thanks, Ali! Hilarious? Yes. We all know that Gmail scans our emails for key words and provides appropriate ads. But when she forwarded us that email we got the same ad. So, come on, Ali. Fess up. What were you emailing about?

Scanner : gmail

Gmail's April Fool's Prank Helps You End Lame Relationships

FAQ

How does Gmail mirror my communication style?

New York Times: Iraq War Ends

A History of MIT Pranks, In Glorious Pictures...

People are Jokesters Today!

While You Were Sleeping: Miley Cyrus Dies in A Freak Car Accident

While You Were Sleeping: Diablo Cody's Super Porno Limo Rides

"6 Tips on Cheating And Getting Away with It"

Let's Settle This Ridiculous First-Date Pay Debate

Coke Ad Offends the Entire Country of Sweden

Sloppy Seconds: It's Friday, Everybody's Gone, And We Don't Have A Clever Title

Food We'd Like To F*ck: Ever Wonder Why You're Fat?

Google Launches "Mail Goggles", Bloggers Everywhere Stop Getting Laid

While You Were Sleeping: Scanners in Austin

Sloppy Seconds: Nine-Year-Old Girl Marries in Texas

Google Launches "Mail Goggles", Bloggers Everywhere Stop Getting Laid

April Fool's Day Jokes We Can Actually See Through

Gmail Scans and Semen Tanks