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PapSmeared: Lindsay Lohan and Her Side Boob Could Use a Hamburger

Emily Farris — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:14:00 GMT

While You Were Sleeping: Clit-Pumpin' Glory

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:42:00 GMT

An 83-year-old woman in Hungary warms our hearts by continuing to work in her chosen career: crime.

Amy Fisher is going on that rumored stripping tour.

There's a penis in Grand Theft Auto IV! Guess they have to do something to offset the rampant exploitation of women.

Funniest headline of the day: "'Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda'. This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words."

Try the clit pump-nasal spray combo for mind-blowing female orgasms!

How can you not love Sam Donaldson after this clip from a Wonkette/Gawker interview he did?

Jane's Addiction is back... and Nine Inch Nails says goodbye.

The Democrats in Congress are enjoying a rare boom in popularity thanks to the stimulus.

Check out the hamburger dress. Actually, don't bother.

Yay for Dita Von Teese, who insists she'd chose her stripping career over a man any day.

You should read this MTV story about the Lily Allen-Perez Hilton Twitter spat only because it's hilariously sad.

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Pic via Drunken Stepfather

There Best Be Some Bling on That Burger King

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:14:00 GMT

If we were going to drop $200 on a hamburger — which, let's be honest, we totally would if we could — it sure as hell wouldn't be from Burger King. Even if it was a Burger King in the UK. Even though Big Macs are better in the UK so who's to say that Burger King wouldn't be better in the UK? But still... let's talk about why it's expensive.

Because Burger King says so to break some silly record:

Burger King's £95 sandwich, named simply The Burger, will make Guinness World Record history beating a similarly extravagant American Double Truffle Burger which cost just £65 in 1994.
The world's most succulent Japanese beef is complemented with white truffles, onion tempura prepared in Cristal champagne and Italy's finest Pata Negra prosciutto.

Really? You're gonna be like that, Burger King?

We think we can do better, especially with the help of our friend the Shameless Carnivore. Because we can make a burger that will not only cost 95 pounds, it will make you gain 95 pounds.

Or, uh, we could just make a regular burger and get someone to give us $250 for it and then we'd have the most expensive burger in the world, now wouldn't we?

[Telegraph: Burger King launches £95 'bling burger']

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Today in Disorders We'll Never Suffer From: Orthorexia

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Today in Disorders We'll Never Suffer From: Orthorexia

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 May 2008 12:58:00 GMT

There were times in our youth when we wished we could be anorexic or bullimic (stupid, we know, but if you were ever a chubby, insecure teenage girl you, too, may have wished these disorders upon yourself) but we always ended up reaching for the Cool Ranch Doritos. In recent years, eating disorder specialists have termed a new disorder that we're a little less guilty about wishing we had: orthorexia, an unhealthy fixation with healthy eating.

While we certainly try to eat healthy most of the time, it's really only so we feel like we're balancing out our two-hamburger-a-week minimum, so this is yet another disorder we're in no danger of developing. But the chubby, insecure teenager inside of us still almost wishes we could have orthorexia—luckily, the adult whose social life revolves around food does not.

Like anorexia, it often involves severe weight loss, but so-called orthorexics are obsessed with food quality, rather than quantity, and strive for personal purity in their eating habits rather than for a thin physique.

The word orthorexia was coined in 1997 by Colorado alternative medicine specialist Steven Bratman. Implicit in the description are traits that resemble obsessive-compulsive disorder, since sufferers devote excessive attention to their own strict rules and often spend hours each day worrying about tomorrow's meals. Such a person may find himself socially isolated because he doesn't indulge in everyday dishes. "If your focus on healthy eating is interfering with your happiness and social life," says Bratman, "you might have a problem."

What's the disorder called when your happiness is dependent on your hamburger intake?

[Psychology Today: Orthorexia: Too Healthy?]

[Image of a Shake Shack burger via theeatenpath's flickr. Mmm, Shake Shack.]