Scanner : health

Hey Everyone, Let's Join the Sex Party

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:20:00 GMT

In November, right after the American Presidential election, we brought you word of an emerging (but subsequently little-noticed) political party in Australia: The Sex Party. Here's what we said:

In response to "moral campaigners and prudish politicians," Australia's open-minded citizens have decided to strike back.
On Thursday, the Great Down Under will announce the only political news worth reporting on: the launch of the fortunately-named Australian Sex Party. And no, it's not that key-exchange game your Mom told you about.

This week, Canada got in on that action with its very own-- and rather different-- Sex Party...

Although they were resoundly defeated in yesterday's parliamentary elections-- as if anyone knew they would be on the ballot-- the Sex Party of British Columbia has only just begun to (fuck or) fight. They have launched a real publicity blitz that is gaining national and, ultimately, worldwide attention, starting with its catchy slogan: "Sex is good. Let's make it better!"

"We're not running to get elected. Obviously it's impossible, especially in a first-past-the-post system that discriminates against small parties," said John Ince, a Vancouver sex shop owner and leader of the Sex Party.
The party's platform touts the benefits of a healthy sex life for personal growth and the betterment of society.
It proposes revamping the provincial education program to gradually encourage students' sexual activity, whereby extensive sexual experimentation would precede first intercourse.
Teens would learn the basics of healthy and satisfying sexual liaisons, such as trust, emotional intimacy, relaxation and verbal communication. They would be offered courses in erotic massage, and taught not to discriminate against gays or lesbians.
Furthermore, the Sex Party would require that all public parks and beaches larger than one hectare (2.5 acres) be designated areas for nudists in a bid "to normalize all parts of the human body and de-stigmatize human sexual organs."

Can you imagine that ever passing here in the next 500 years? Central Park overrun by nudists-- meaning, besides that "nudists" who walk up to you and expose themselves? Never gonna happen... but stranger things have happened in Canada and we'd certainly vote for a Sex Party candidate if we could...

It promises to make it easier for the elderly living in long-term care facilities to have sex, for example, by instituting training for "specialized sexual care nurses."
"Other politicians don't want to discuss these kinds of issues. It's very scary to them," commented Scarlett Lake. The former exotic dancer who now owns an escort service is one of three Sex Party candidates in this election.
She proposes changing Victoria Day, a statutory holiday in Canada that celebrates the birthday of Queen Victoria, who reigned during an era of prudery in Britain, to "Eros Day" for the Greek mythological god of lust and intercourse.

"Specialized sexual care nurses" as part of its platform... ex-strippers/escort Madams-turned candidates... making Victoria Day the Crazy Lust and Greek Sex Orgy day... all that is bound to garner a few token votes. Unfortunately, for now, that's all they're likely to get...

This photo of John Ince, the group's founder, is just begging for a "Caption This."

Via AFP.

Related:

Introducing the Australian Sex Party...

Way to F Up the Swingers Party, Dude

A New Book About Sex, Geared For Toddlers And Up

Playboy Mansion Visit Not Enough Incentive For Stoned Teenage Boys Anymore

Italy's Long National Nightmare Is Finally Over...

Survery Says A Good Percentage of Women Wrong About How Healthy They Are

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 16:48:00 GMT

A new report from the Associated Press/i-Village/The Offices of Captain Obvious claims that women are generally wrong about how healthy they are and how healthy they look.

Survey says...

"The priorities are flipped," says Dr. Molly Poag, chief of psychiatry at New York's Lennox Hill Hospital.

About 60 percent of Americans are overweight or obese. The AP-iVillage poll of 1,000 adult women mirrors the government's count on that. More surprising, perhaps, are women's attitudes and actions.

Half don't like their weight, even 26 percent of those whose body mass index or BMI -- a measure of weight for height -- is in the normal range. But just a third don't like their physical condition, even though being overweight and sedentary are big risk factors for Type 2 diabetes, heart disease and other ailments.
The poll found women putting in a median of 80 minutes of exercise a week -- meaning half do even less. The average adult is supposed to get 2½ hours of exercise a week for good health.

And just 8 percent of women ate the minimum recommended servings of fruits and vegetables -- five a day. A staggering 28 percent admit they get that recommended serving once a week or less.

So, next time you ask him "How do I look in this?" and he says, "Thin," perhaps he's telling the truth. Here's the only part of the results that truly surprised us:

About a quarter of the women surveyed said they'd consider plastic surgery to feel more beautiful. Their overwhelming choice: a tummy tuck.

Does that ring true for you?

Via Chicago Sun-Times.

Related:

Today in WTF: Crying Japanese Sumo Baby Contest

Food We Do NOT Want To F*ck (Or Eat, For That Matter): Domino's

Aria Giovanni Wants To Show You How To Do Something

Ever Wonder What Your Body Would Taste Like To A Cannibal?

Sloppy Seconds: Free Boobs!

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:36:00 GMT

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has a penchant for pretty women (what politician doesn't?). And it's a source of "suffering" for his wife, Veronica Lario, she wrote in an open letter. [Yahoo!]

Simon Cowell joked that he's "secretly in love" with fellow American Idol judge Paula Abdul. And we wouldn't be all that surprised if he jerked off to the "Cold Hearted Snake" video back in the day... or if he still does. [Us]

After her double mastectomy, breast cancer survivor Christina Applegate says she still feels sexy, especially because her boyfriend, Dutch bass player Martyn Lenoble loves her "from head to toe." [People]

Is there no more bromance in the world? Chace Crawford is apparently looking to move out of the pad he shares with Gossip Girl co-star Ed Westwick. [PageSix]

Everyone can stop worrying about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. They're taking the necessary precautions to prevent catching swine flu (the swine flu?) while on their honeymoon in Mexico. Whew. We know we'll sleep better tonight knowing they're okay. [MTV]

Did California pageant officials buy homophobic Miss California, Carrie Prejean, new breasts? And if so, how do we get some? [Defamer]

Sloppy Seconds: Snipped Here, Screwed There

You're "Doing It" Wrong: Health Website's Wrongheaded Sex Advice

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:15:00 GMT

The Stanford University School of Medicine released a report today with shocking revelations about lies, fabrications, and downright stupidity on the internet.

Why is this different from everything else that's wrong with the internet? Because Stanford is blaming WebMD and other trusted medical websites for the backlash against Plan B, not to mention multiple other "mistakes" in the advice these sites cough up about sex...

Here are the most disturbing examples we picked up, quoted directly from a source at HealthNewsDigest, which covered the report:

sites often failed to say that minors can buy emergency contraception from authorized pharmacists in nine states
many sites did not correct the myth that emergency contraception causes an abortion
Sixty percent of the Web sites said the birth control pill causes weight gain, despite recent research showing modern oral contraceptives do not affect body weight
Only 19 percent of the Web sites made it clear that intrauterine devices are safe for adolescents to use.
only about half of the Web sites surveyed correctly stated that some STDs, such as herpes, can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact or kissing
Forty percent of Web sites surveyed did not provide accurate information about when young women should receive their first Pap exam. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology updated its Pap exam recommendations in 2003 to state that women should receive their first exam three years after initiating sexual activity or at age 21; that is about three years later than the previous recommendations [“Extra Pap exams are an unnecessary stress and expense, and a barrier to getting birth control,” Yen said, since young women may forgo contacting a doctor for a contraceptive prescription if they mistakenly believe they must first get the exam.]

Researchers indicted that sites like Go Ask Alice, a product of Columbia University, are much more reliable. For example, here's their advice on giving a decent handjob, something we'll bet WebMD doesn't have the balls to pull. So, kids, if for some reason you're reading this after doing a Google search for "sex advice," go there first... and definitely don't read my posts. Sarcasm can be lost on those not "in the know..."

Via this link.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Post-Sex Guilt

Married British Barrister Billed Client For Sex

Sloppy Seconds: What Do Sarah Palin And Tom Cruise Have In Common?

Live Blogging SXSWi: Ur Blog Sux and Print is Dead

Sex is the New Airborne

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:19:00 GMT

How bizarre is it that Fox News has become our go-to source for information on medical breakthroughs involving sex? Oddly enough, the famous conservative news source was the first outlet to tell us about a new study (ah, yes, one of those) showing all the many wonderful things sex does for the body. Some of them may actually surprise you-- and just because this is Fox we're talking about here.

Fox took their info from The Daily Mail, while we, in turn, mercifully condensed the epic story down to the most useful quotes. The article spotlights doctors at Nottingham University who want you all to have sex for the good of your health. And not the usual, "It clears the sinuses, you'll lose weight!" obviousness we've been digesting for decades. Among the benefits mentioned:

...increasing longevity to reducing the risk of erectile dysfunction and even heart attack...

Well, yes, one would think successfully completing intercourse decreases the risk of erectile dysfunction, but we see the point:

[M]en who kept up a regular sex life in their 50s were also at lower risk of developing prostate cancer
American research found that menopausal women who had sex every week had estrogen levels twice as high as their abstaining counterparts.

'This may provide some protection against male osteoporosis.'
Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of immunoglobulin A, or IgA, a substance found in saliva and the nasal lining thought to help our immune systems fight colds and flu.
One of the largest studies on longevity and sex - conducted on Welsh men - found that those who had sex less than once a month had double the risk of dying prematurely than those who had sex twice a week.

There's bad news for us twenty- and thirtysomething sex fiends:

(Conversely, they found 'too much' sexual activity - more than 20 times a month - in the 20s and 30s could increase the risk.)

Guess we won't be getting laid tonight... not that we were planning on it anyway.

Via the Daily Mail.

Diddy Tweets His Tantric Sex Sesh

Germany's Biggest Sex Scandal Comes To A Stunning Conclusion

ABC News: Guess What? Sex Is Good For You

Watching the Watchmen Sex Scene

That's Some Scary Voodoo Sh*t Right There...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 19:58:00 GMT

Astrology, religion, tarot cards, a left-wing President, voodoo-- all hoaxes to us. But although we would never fall into a trap set by a black magic healer and his wife, we understand that some people are so desperate to make changes in their lives, that they would even give up their bodies on the off chance it could turn things around...

(Remember-- there are no gods, curses, angels, miracles, Chicagoan saviors, or legitimate fortune tellers. If ever a man approaches you and offers to remove "a curse," tell him "that's the worst pickup line you've ever heard," kick him squarly in the groin, and take off running before the police arrive.)

According to the Sydney Morning Herald, Frances Psichogios and her husband Tony Golossian tricked at least two women into having sex with them over a period of several years in order to "cure" the woman of a supposed curse. When the women's lives didn't seem to turn around, they went to the police, who arrested the voodoo king and queen for forced non consensual sex.

We'd like to know what it was that these women were trying to get rid of. A painful breakup? An STD? Or did it have absolutely nothing to do with sex at all? Scary stuff in any case...

Related:

Take Us To Detroit: Site of this Weekend's Biggest Orgy

Vegas Is Boring, So Thank God Atlantic City's Still Sleazy...

While You Were Sleeping: Viva Bettie Page

Louisiana Teacher Gets Closer to Student By Sleeping with His Father

New Study Claims Women Don't Care For (Sick) Men

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:47:00 GMT

Get your typing fingers ready to comment on this one...because a survey that finds that women don't have any sympathy for men, aren't willing to take days off for them, and think sick men are pathetic is bound to be divisive...

The finds:

52% of women lose interest in tending to a sick male partner after only five minutes
18% of women are never interesting in tending to a sick male partner, not even for five seconds
70% of men ceaselessly support a sick female partner
60% of men do housework and 64% cook dinners they wouldn't have cooked if their partner was well
37% of men would take a day off while only 19% of women would the same for a sick man
56% of women would say bail on a Girl's Night Out while 73% of men would stand their guy friends up

Angry yet?

Almost three in 10 (29 per cent) take one look at him and think “he’s going to be grumpy all day” the survey found, while 28 per cent just think “hurry up and get better”, and one in 10 men claims to have been told not to be a hypochondriac.

Men by contrast present themselves as saintlike in comparison with 48 per cent claiming their first thought is “poor thing” when their partner is unwell, although only 13 per cent of women said their partners had looked after them.

What do you think of this (CRAZY LOONEY) survey, conducted for a new cold medicine called Lemsip Max All In One... which claims to work in five minutes?

Actual conversation about this:

She: "You know, a lot of males are raised to deny vulnerability, which includes times of sickness.They expect the women they are in a relationship with to be tough about it as well... so they're not as sympathetic. They think women should just tough it out."

He: "Yeah, but the survey talks about how women see the whining guy, the whimpering and pain and they stop being sympathetic immediately. In my view, this may be because they like their guys to be strong and not, obviously, whiners... so when that does a complete one-eighty, they wanna get outta there and go to work."

She: "But women are the caretakers. They'll take care of the kids. That's such bullshit about more men will cook dinner when women are sick than women will cook when it's the reverse. I don't buy that women will cook less if the man is sick."

We have to agree with that.

More here. Photo via SF Gate.

Cure For AIDS Discovered? Or Is It HIV?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:25:00 GMT

As Scanner Emily reported earlier, hemotologists in Berlin claim that a bone marrow transplant has cured an American patient of theirs of the AIDS virus. Or is it HIV? These things can be so confusing to the media, which hasn't given a shit about this issue since The Ryan White Story...

An American man who suffered from AIDS appears to have been cured of the disease 20 months after receiving a targeted bone marrow transplant normally used to fight leukemia, his doctors said.
While researchers — and the doctors themselves — caution that the case might be no more than a fluke, others say it may inspire a greater interest in gene therapy to fight the disease that claims 2 million lives each year. The virus has infected 33 million people worldwide.

Dr. Gero Huetter said Wedneday his 42-year-old patient, an American living in Berlin who was not identified, had been infected with the AIDS virus for more than a decade. But 20 months after undergoing a transplant of genetically selected bone marrow, he no longer shows signs of carrying the virus. [Yahoo! Health]

That's according to the AP. But the BBC has a different story, the one Emily reported on:

The researchers in Berlin said the man, who suffered from leukaemia and HIV, had shown no sign of either disease since the transplant two years ago.
But they stressed it was an unusual case which needed further investigation.
Experts said the result may boost interest in gene therapy for HIV.
Berlin's Charite clinic said the 42-year-old patient was an American living in Berlin, but the man has not been identified.

Either way, we're trying to stay positive (hey, at least it cured one person, whether or not anyone else is ever cured) although, yes, it could be a fluke... or a glitch in their readings... or poor research. Or some other answer that would automatically discount their findings.

But we're hoping that the 42-year-old patient goes on to live a long life... and that millions of other people are able to as well. What do you think?

This Week In Gayness: Gay Leader Assassinated

While You Were Sleeping...

Sloppy Seconds: Phillies Fan Gives Her Team A Big Boost

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:29:00 GMT

Vietnam believes small chests are unhealthy and that thin people shouldn't operate motor vehicles. Believe it or not, this is a health initiative.

T.I. voted in Georgia, despite being a convicted felon and a guy we didn't think would ever show up to vote.

This top 10 list of "Things I Hate Absolutely Hate About Heteronormative Dating" doesn't always hit the nail on the head, but these entries we can agree with:

3. If you show emotion too early on or too much of it, you are needy.

8. If you have sex too early you ruined it.

9. If you don't have sex early on you are a prude.

The rest can be found here.

A man stole a male "enhancement" cream (in quotes because it doesn't do anything-- or so we've heard, we swear), tried it out in the store's bathroom, failed to satisfy himself, checked out the Barbie dolls, exposed himself in the aisle, and returned to the bathroom to try again. Yep, that's pretty much all there is to that story.

This guy is either drunk or a McCain campaign worker trying to muck things up.

That naughty Shakira... she made everything think she was pregnant, but it turned out it was just a publicity stunt for her new album. Blah.

And today's Miss CoEd at CoEd magazine is Erika Nicole, who really wants the Phillies to win tonight, so much show that she's willing to leak dozens of photos of herself in very little clothing to give the team a morale, um, boost.

Related:

Leryn Franco Makes Up For Missing Out On The Whole "Nude Olympians Craze"

...Shakira Allegedly Rocked Yacht With Two Dudes And A Camera

Hollywood Directors Lend McCain a Hand

Throbbing Hearts Can Get Kind of Messy

Sloppy Seconds: Which Olsen Twin Would Like You to Put a Baby in Her?

You're Circumcised? Well, That Explains It...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 14:12:00 GMT

"Ladies, have you been having trouble with your heterosexual sex life?

"Then you need to try... uncircumcised!" Seriously, a new study by The International Coalition for Genital Integrity (it sounds like a bad Sacha Baron Cohen pitch) says that circumcised guys are statistically proven to be less spectacular in the orgasm-inducing department...

Here's what we mean:

"During intercourse, the skin of an intact penis slides up and down the shaft, stimulating the glans and the nerves of the inner and outer foreskin. On the outstroke, the glans is partially or completely engulfed by the foreskin with more skin remaining inside the vagina than is the case with the circumcised penis. This `valve' mechanism is thought to retain the natural lubrication provided by the female because the bunched up skin acts to block the lubrication escaping from the vagina, which results in dryness."

Thank you, Doctor Obvious.

The study goes on to explain that

reduced female arousal and fewer female orgasms may be linked to women having sex with circumcised male partners. Women reported they were about twice as likely to experience orgasm if their male partner had a foreskin.
Nine out of ten women prefer having sex with intact men, the study finds.

Uh oh, American dudes. Seven out of ten of you are circumcised... could this explain the (mass) sexual problems everyone out there seems to be having? (We'll reserve comment on our sex lives and circumcision/non-circumcision for TMI reasons.) Anyway, we'd like both sexes to weigh in... is this study bullshit or is it hitting the nail on the, um, head?

Full story via Health Central.

Related:

Help! The Giant Penis Man Needs You!

Artist's Penis Commits World's Largest Indecent Exposure

You Asked for a Penis Poll, You Got It

UPDATE: A Plethora of Penis Photos

Cosmo Names The Sexiest Man In the Universe...

For Every Action, There Is An Equal And Opposite (Man Boob) Reaction...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:22:00 GMT

Remember Boobs on Bikes, the hottest boobs-on-motorcycles parade in the history of the modern world?

Nope, we're not tired of talking about it yet...

According to our #1 source for B on B info, Stuff(.co.nz.com), these boobs are, technically, the safe for work kind. In other words, we're talking about man boobs... glorious, glorious... man boobs.

Ra Dallas (a total porn star name if it were spelled "Raw Dallas") is a morning drive-time DJ on the Tahu FM radio station. He caught the Auckland procession live on television and imagined how much funnier it would have been with dudes on the bikes without the female porn stars... with the dudes topless, of course.

"Then I thought, `Wouldn't it be great if we could do something like that and actually make some money out of it for a good cause,"' he said.

"It's about supporting our women and talking about this killer disease that's taking our mothers, our sisters, our wives and grandmothers." [Stuff]

Now that's a hero, damn it: not only is he raising money for women's health, he's doing it while embarrassing himself in the most public way imaginable (well, that is, second only to choking the chicken on live television.)

We'll keep you posted in case this turns out to be brilliant...

Related:

Caption This: Here Come The Boobs

Solar Power Those Headlights

Motorcycle Party Features Screaming Orgasm Contest, Rampant Nudity

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

Cooking With Your Balls

Coffee And Nuts Will Give You Manboobs

Boobs On Bikes Rides Again, Despite Violent Anti-Violence Protests

Sloppy Seconds: Poor Bernie Mac, Morgan Freeman, and... OJ?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 22:04:00 GMT

A man is in jail in Florida after calling 911 twice to complain about an incorrect sandwich order.

We just can't picture it: Liv Tyler wants to launch her singing career.

In other news on this busy day:

Jake Gyllenhall is not engaged to Reese Witherspoon. Yawn.

Although reports of Bernie Mac's demise were exaggerated and not particularly humorous, Mac's health is truly in critical condition.

This is one move we wouldn't even pull to save our own lives.

OJ Simpson is in deep shit now: one of his co-defendants is testifying against him.

~~Violence in China has escalated ahead of the Olymics.~~

And Morgan Freeman may have fallen asleep at the wheel, was indeed with a female passenger (whose presence remains unexplained), broke a few ribs and hurt is knee, is listed in serious condition, but that's all...

Related:

Video of the Day: The Dazzling Dyev Deputies of the Duma

Sloppy Seconds: Are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Really Splitting Up?

This Week in “Sexy Stuff Jessica Biel Is Up To”

Spank Me/It: The Nastiest Sex Scenes Ever

Sloppy Seconds: Heather Mills, Liv Tyler, and... Roseanne Barr?!

Life Imitates Art: Actor Has Heart Attack During Heart Attack Scene

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 May 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Talk about method acting, an actor collapsed on stage at the exact moment his character was supposed to have a heart attack and die.

So obviously it took people a little while to respond to the man's needs.

Steve Dineen was taken to hospital after he keeled over during the dramatic finale of Mike Leigh's famous comedy Abigail's Party.

In the play, lead character Laurence dies of a heart attack in the final minutes and Dineen was moments away from acting out the death.

So when he fell suddenly to the floor, the audience at Musselburgh's Brunton Theatre thought it was just part of his impressive performance.

But co-star Alice Selwyn noticed Dineen's struggle was genuine and came out of character to ask for a doctor.

The actor was taken to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary and kept in overnight for tests.

The theatre's marketing officer, Paul Brunton, said last night: "It was very traumatic at the time because it coincided with the exact moment where Steve's character was about to have a heart attack.

"It was almost like real life imitating art.

"Thankfully, Steve is going to be OK. We've had lots of phone calls from the audience to check on him, which has been nice."

It's almost like how every time we call in sick to do something fun we actually end up getting sick. But that's probably just psychosomatic guilt kicking in.

[The Daily Record: Actor collapses on stage for real during heart attack scene]

[Image]

Hey, Look: FoxNews.com Just Went F*cking Nuts

Bryan Christian — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:00:00 GMT

When we hit this page our eyes crossed with bewildered interest. What to read first? "Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead" or "Is Your Vagina Depressed?" Which would you read first? (Click the pic for a better view.)

Tell ya what: rather than linking out to these articles and giving Fox a couple more ad dollars, how about we meet back after the jump and we'll tell you all about both stories. Just one click, and no extra traffic for Fox. Sound good? Then see ya after the jump.

Basically, "Woman Goes For Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead" is the story of... well, that's pretty much the whole story, actually. Woman goes in for a leg operation, there's a mixup, whammo, and suddenly she's getting someone else's sphincter adjustment. Seriously, you're not missing anything, it's 4 very short grafs and no surprises other than it took place in Germany and the woman's still gotta get her leg fixed. Obviously, she won't be getting that from Hospital #1.

And the clip entitled "Is Your Vagina Depressed?" Well, the tagline is this:

"Imagine living with intense chronic pain down there and having to give up sex. Hear one patient's story"

... which might have made for some quite moving video viewing, were the host of the clip not "Dr. Manny."

"So, uh... tell me about the pain in your vagina!"

Seriously, we know you're tempted, but don't give Fox the pageviews. Just read this.

Today in Sex: Headaches

Emily Farris — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:50:00 GMT

No longer can housewives across the country use "honey, I have a headache" as an excuse for not having sex. Thanks to today's Today show, everyone now knows that orgasms make your headache go away. Unfortunately, for those stuck with jarring, chafing non-orgasmic sex, it just makes it worse. But at least you'll still burn some calories.

[Today: Video: Sex and its health benefits]