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While You Were Sleeping: Oscar Upsets?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

As Emily would say, with a headline like this, you don't need a story: woman stops bullet with her hair weave.

We saw a surprisingly riveting and ultimately transcendent Leonard Cohen concert last night, his first in 15 years. If you have any interest in seeing him, he'll be at Coachella, as well as a string of U.S. and Canadian venues, in April and May.

A photo of Rihanna taken shortly after Chris Brown's arrest seems to confirm the original, horrifying story. (Note: This is not a direct link to the photo. To do that, click on the word TMZ when you get to MTV's story about the photo-- but don't say we didn't warn you.)

Can Melissa Leo pull off an upset at the Oscars? Can Meryl Streep... or anyone? Seriously, in any category. Surprise us-- Werner Herzog takes the Best Documentary statue... Milk takes the top prize from that enjoyable, predictable, far-from-art picture Slumdog Millionaire.

Speaking of the Oscars, the guy who sells pills to Mickey Rourke's character in The Wrestler has been arrested on a similar charge. Prior to his capture, he rammed three cop cars-- now, that's what we call "roid rage." Har har.

What's worse? Our story about the fifth-grade girl who traded sex with a drug dealer for some of his pot or these kids, busted at the age of eight for heroin possession?

Dita Von Teese lied: she was never celibate after her marriage. We knew all along, from personal experience, of course.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers will continue their hiatus, while Simon and Garfunkel are getting back together.

Let's end on a feel-good story for a change. How about these generous and wonderful New Mexicans, eh?

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:18:00 GMT

Same-sex heart transplants are the just better. (We'll resist gay marriage jokes here.)

Justin Long: from Drew Barrymore... to Tila Tequila? We're glad neither are divulging the make-out details.

Democratic Senator Barbara Boxer's aide was arrested for... have you guessed yet?

A “high-level” aide to communist Sen. Barbara Boxer of California has been arrested after — whoops! — he was caught chatting and swapping cock pictures with 13-year-old boys on a liberal social network called “Google Hello.” Gross! And the funny thing about one of those 13-year-old boys was that he was actually an FBI detective, trying to capture him. OOPS. Let’s learn more about Mr. Jeff Rosato, who has walked straight into a cold Blowvember gust. [Wonkette]

Jamie Lyn-Sigler: glad she doesn't have any kids, not as hot as she used to be, still dull.

Russell Brand says not being gay gets him laid. And hopefully he's shooting blanks. (You'll see what we mean.)

There has got to be an explanation for these fetus cookies, but we don't even want to hear it.

How much does a $2,000/hour escort, such as Natalie, seen above, take home? Gawker has the answer.

CNN has photos of two of the three new planets just discovered outside our solar system. They resist Uranus jokes, unfortunately, and don't comment on the fact that the planets are named "b" and "c." Wow.

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The Foo Fighters Would Like John McCain to Stop Comparing Himself to Kurt Cobain

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

Poor GOP—it just can't nail down a campaign song.

John Mellencamp and Jackson Browne both told McCain to stop using their songs, then Heart slapped the Republicans with a cease and desist order for the unauthorized use of "Barracuda" to describe the Pitbull in Lipstick. Now the Foo Fighters would like John McCain to stop comparing himself to Kurt Cobain.

True, they were both beautiful in their twenties, and one is dead and the other will probably be dead in a few years. That is where the similarities end, which is why the Foo Fighters want the candidate to stop using their hit, "My Hero" to pump himself up at rallies... and perhaps in the war room, bathroom and bedroom.

"The saddest thing about this is that `My Hero' was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential," the band said in a statement. "To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song."

Well, John. We bet Toby Kieth has a ditty for you. Or maybe Kenny Chesney?

(click the image for a larger, legible view)

[Yahoo!: Foo Fighters tell McCain to stop using song]

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