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Victoria's Secret Suit

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:18:00 GMT

Hey ladies-- and gents who like that sort of thing-- do your Victoria's Secret bras bother the living hell out of you?

You're not alone, as we found out from this story out of Cleveland, Ohio...

It turns out there's a big class action lawsuit in the works, with up to 2,000 pairs of boobs claiming damages, brought about by a guy who makes the ambulance-chasing John Travolta character from A Civil Action look like John Paul the Second. (He's quoted as saying about the tit-tarnishing: "All of the women's breasts looked alike," said attorney John Climaco of Cleveland. "It brought tears to your eyes. They're scarred.") What brought tears to this po' countray boy's eyes is described as a rash in the cleavage that irritates the bejesus outta the ladies.

The lawsuit accuses the retailer and its Columbus-based parent company, Limited Brands Inc., of misrepresenting the safety of their products, failing to warn customers of problems and concealing knowledge of defective merchandise.

The women seek in excess of $5 million combined, plus compensation for medical expenses, pain and mental anguish.

At first, [plaintiffs] Ritter and Climaco attributed her afflictions to formaldehyde, a chemical used in clothing manufacturing to help retain shapes. But that strategy fell through after independent tests failed to find formaldehyde in Victoria's Secret bras and concluded that Ritter was not allergic to the chemical.

Whoops. If you have the same symptoms, you might want to start your own case-- we're better this is going to get tossed in no time.

Via the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

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Sloppy Seconds: Elisha Cuthbert Survives Harrowing Hit-And-Run

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 22:36:00 GMT

In Iraq, they have shoe-throwers. In America, egg-tossers.

Jenna Haze was named the porn performer of the year. [NSFW]

Heidi Klum is pregnant with that ba(l)d singer's fourth child.

Elisha Cuthbert survived a hit-and-run driver, thanks to her training for 24. A crazy New York driver (sorry for the double negative) nearly ran her down one recent evening, but she survived by jumping onto the hood. Actually, her story is kind of confusing, mainly because no one seems to know where these out-of-context quotes came from.

The Pay It Forward movement has taken over a couple of Alabama coffee shops.

Maybe it is possible to die of a broken heart: a couple married for over 67 years end up dying just a few hours apart.

Here's proof the right-wingers are completely insane. (We don't have anybody this nutty on our side.)

And Bruno edited itself down to an R-rating. Yay for Unrated DVDs!

Sloppy Seconds: Angelina Jolie Pregnant Again

Smile, or You'll Get Divorced

Does This Supermodel Look Fat To You?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 23:30:00 GMT

And even if she did, so what? It's one thing if she were morbidly obese, but she's not even close to overweight-- and besides, we thought this country had better things to do than criticize a woman's weight.

Earlier this week, Heidi Klum was attacked by a publicity-starved designer for being "too fat" to walk a runway. This German designer, who is too big of a douche to be named here, lest we further his career, is well deserving of the tremendous backlash that his comments were met with.

"Wolfgang is obviously trying to revive his sagging career and get press for himself by riding Heidi''s coattails," the New York Post quoted spokesperson for Klum as saying. [Tim Gunn added] "I can wrap my hand around her bicep."

It's a shame Wolfgang isn't a female person, because we could offer a stockpile of "sagging" puns that would, unfortunately, only stoop to ~~his~~ her low. Anyway, Ol' Saggy Nuts is probably just jealous that his fellow German is more famous than he is... and that Seal won't lend her out for any of Max Mosley's orgies.

Here are some photos from Klum's recent shoot for GQ. Even if they are doctored/Photoshopped, how fake could they be? This woman will be hot until the day she dies, or at least age 67, whichever comes later.

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Heidi Klum Is Really, Really Good at Guitar Hero

PapSmeared: Seal Shows Us All a Little Love

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:24:00 GMT

And then he shows his wife some love...

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Heidi Klum Is Really, Really Good at Guitar Hero

Wanna Know How Seal and Heidi Klum Met? Too Bad, You're About to Find Out!

[Image]

Everybody Stay Calm and Think Positive Thoughts

Colleen Kane — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:48:00 GMT

Patrick Swayze, who has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, revealed to Barbara Walters in his first post-diagnosis TV interview that he likely has only have two years to live, and five years is "wishful thinking."

And so it's time for everyone to get together like the citizens of Whoville and think good thoughts together for the Swayz. For inspiration, let's recall the many looks of Swayze.

Horse-huggin' hunk

Pensive

Pensive with hay

Laughing times with leopard

So you can see why he appeals to tha layties who grew up in the 80s (and older). He was a walking Tiger Beat page. But dudes should not forget his throat-tearing-out move in Roadhouse and the fact that in real life he is basically trying to walk off his cancer by working without painkillers. Y'all should be so manly.

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Emily Farris — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:09:00 GMT

We love Brian Williams and we love food courts (our first job was at Chinese Delight in the Independence Center, yo) so it should come as no surprise that we really love that NBC's Brian Williams loves to eat in food courts. [Parade]

Disney meal ticket Miley Cyrus was killed by a drunk driver over the weekend. Except totally not at all! [MTV]

Michael Jackson is being sued by the future king of Bahrain after Jackson supposedly backed out of a recording contract. [Radar]

How much fashion is really involved in the Victoria's Secret fashion show? Because we just see lots of skin. [NY Daily News]

Did you know that Scarlett Johansson was the inspiration behind Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl?" [People]

Could that be why Lindsay Lohan is no fan of Scarlett Johansson. Probably not. Two years after LiLo wrote some nasty words about ScarJo on a New York bathroom stall, Johansson still has no idea why LiLo hates her. [Us]

Heidi Klum Is Really, Really Good at Guitar Hero

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:16:00 GMT

Or so the underwear and jumping around in this commerical for Guitar Hero would suggest. Yes, Heidi Klum, black undies and lots of enthuisasm--this is what we've dug up for you all because you've totally earned it.

Enjoy!

Heidi and Seal Do Halloween Better

Heidi Klum's Milk Ad

Heidi Klum Loves Heidi Klum's Boobs, too

Caption This: Heidi Klum and Seal Do Halloween Better

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:03:00 GMT

[Image]

Hot or Not? Heidi Klum's Got Milk Ad

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:17:00 GMT

We've already established the fact that Heidi Klum is gorgeous and probably a cool gal in the Real World. And it should be a no-brainer that seeing Klum in her supposed Halloween costume (hint: it involves pigtails, a skirt, and working on a farm... it's automatically hot.)

However, this is the "got milk?" campaign we're talking about, which involves putting mustaches on females, as if that's hot. (Sorry, ladies, it's most certainly not-- even if it's only a dairy product and not actual hair.) After the jump, check out the full photo, outfit, and mustache in all its glory and let us know...

Bonus: adorable kittens!

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Co-Ed Magazine Picks The 52 Best All-Natural Breasts...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:52:00 GMT

...in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, of course. Gotta love the shameless ploy...

Here are our ten more-or-less SFW favorites... in no particular order, mind you.

Rosario Dawson

Scarlett Johansson

Monica Belluci

Elizabeth Hurley

Bridget Bardot

Salma Hayek

What, no America Ferrera?

Unfortunately, the 52 listed all big breasted babes. You know what they say about variety, guys: we could have used some smaller boobs on that survey. And another thing: we heard Keeley Hazell's boobs are, in fact, silicone, so we ruled her out even though Co-Ed included her (and at #2!) Read the rest of their list here, which contains NSFW images galore...

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Cooking With Your Balls

Top 10 Celebrities Who Are Probably Cool In Real Life

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:21:00 GMT

Feel free to weigh in and add your own... especially if you can correct (or add) based on personal experience...

10. Neil Young-- because of-- or in spite of-- the fact that he is obsessed with model trains

9. Heidi Klum-- showing us her ass bruise yesterday is what got us thinking about this list in the first place

8. Anthony Bourdain-- the only man who works in a kitchen that we probably couldn't take in a fight... but he wouldn't start one with us... because he's cool like that

7. Simon Cowell-- once he steps out of character, he might be a pretty good wingman... same with Ryan Seacrest (just kidding!)

6. Elvis Costello-- if you've seen him in concert recently, you know he still has the same energy and kickass attitude that seemed so fresh in 1976

5. Bill Clinton-- unless, of course, you have a busty blond with you, hanging out with Bill Clinton is rumored to be a great time, where dirty jokes are always welcome... as long as they don't involve "interns"

4. David Bowie-- then again, David Bowie could sneer at us and it would kind of awesome

3. Wanda Sykes-- now here's somebody who you actually wouldn't mind it if she were "on" all the damn time

2. The dudes from Flight of the Conchords

1. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert (tie)-- this we know from reliably sources... and, because, if they weren't cool in real life, it would break out poor widdle liberal hearts...

Also, a good way to tell if a celebrity might be an all right person in real life is to scan through this page of stories from waiters all over the country. They weight on whether a celebrity was a great tipper (Bill Murray, Joe Pesci, Stevie Nicks) or one who ordered "many bottles of wine" and still stiffed the help (Don Henley, big surprise.)

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Sloppy Seconds: What Did Tina Fey Lose at the Emmys?

Emily Farris — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Josh Groban says that "coffee and Nick at Nite" helped him prepare for his Emmy performance last night. Really? We were thinking crack and cheese. [People]

Um. Lowest rated Emmys. Ever. [The Feed]

Even with the part where that guy from Dancing With the Stars dropped Heidi Klum on her ass? At least she showed us her bruise. [FadedYouth]

Are the Cyruses trying to get fired from Disney? God, we hope so. [MollyGood]

The plane crash that killed four people and left DJ AM and Travis Barker badly burned may have been the result of a faulty tire. [Us]

Tina Fey didn't lose her composure, her top or her virginity at the Emmys. Nope, she just lost her purse. We think Josh Groban stole it. Hoping to find Sarah Palin's crack. Everyone gets so confused at these things. [People]

Who Tops People's Best Dressed List?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:35:00 GMT

While we were completely surprised by People Magazine's pick as the Best-Dressed Star of 2008, we completely agree with their choice.

As for the rest, well...

10. Charlize Theron

9. Eva Mendes

8. Michelle Obama

7. Sarah Jessica Parker Broderick Bradshaw

6. Heidi Klum

5. Kate Hudson

4. Anne Hathaway

3. Fergie

2. Gwyneth Paltrow

1. Rihanna

...what do you think?

Via People.

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Emily Farris — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:13:00 GMT

Janet Jackson kicked off her first tour in six years with an emotional performance in Vancouver. [People]

We pity the fool who will soon be Mr. Tara Reid. [dListed]

We're not the only ones expecting the new 90210 to suck. Shannen Doherty doesn't plan to do more than four episodes. [Yahoo!]

~~Spiderman~~ Tobey McGuire is all set to give his big speech at the 9/11 memorial service tonight. Huh? [Cryptome]

Project Runway judge and former Elle fashion director, Nina Garcia, has a few things to say about Sarah Palin's wardrobe. For starters, she should drop the glasses. [Radar]

But if you dig her look, you should find your perfect pit bull in lipstick shade. [The Frisky]

Lauren Conrad, of The Hills, has just signed a three-book deal with Harper Collins. We quit. Has she even read three books in her lifetime? [Us]

After smashing up a photographer's camera at LAX, Kanye West realized that TMZ had been taping the first incident and allegedly went after the TMZ camera person. (We probably would have done the same thing). [LAT and TMZ Video]

Hot or Not: Heidi Klum Topless in Esquire

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:41:00 GMT

Okay, there really isn't much question on this one, is there? We were kind of kidding about the "hot or not" part just to make you click.

In our latest installment of hot topless women on the covers of American magazines, we have Heidi Klum in Esquire. Unfortunately, we are sick to death of all reality shows and, in particular, reality show hosts. Especially ones that are married to Seal, whom we dislike for that song of his we hear every time we're in C-Town with a hangover.

In any case, fans must wonder why these photos are going up online now-- perhaps to celebrate Project Runway's move to-- gulp-- the Lifetime Television Network? Well, if this is the new look of Lifetime, we may finally stop for more than four seconds when we get to it...

The rest of the photos by Rankin are archived here in a blog post from over the weekend.

These were mainly unavailable online until then, so so what if the original Esquire feature is two years old? You want us to take these down? We thought not.

And don't forget to vote in our Who Would You Rather? poll, featuring two other reality show stars...

Wild on Sylt!

April Peveteaux — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 15:30:00 GMT

I know it is untoward to guffaw at anything in the Times, but I couldn’t help but chuckle through their Travel section feature, The 53 Places to Go in 2008. While Tehran was certainly a bold choice, and Algeria came with a warning about terrorist attacks, the ballsiest option appeared at number thirteen, with the hotspot of Sylt. This island in the North Sea filled with nude beaches and German celebrities is described as the “Hamptons of Germany.” And yet somehow it still wound up close to the top of a list that includes Anguilla, Tuscany and St. Lucia.

Yeah, taking Das Jitney to hang out in an overpriced share with drunk fans of the Hoff while Heidi Klum and Einstürzende Neubauten take all the good seats at the new Wolfgang Puck joint sounds positively furchtbar.

Gisele Skips VS Fashion Show to Shill Shoes, Wear Water?

Bryan Christian — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 17:39:00 GMT

Remember yesterday how we were missing our former favorite non-Klum Victoria's Secret model Gisele at the VS Fashion Show? It went something like this:

Hey, where's Gisele? Didn't she used to do this show too? Isn't she still plastered all over the VS catalogs on our bathroom floor? Oh, maybe they tried to pay her in US Dollars! Dollars! Ha ha! Can you imagine!

...or something like that. Anyway, we found her: posing in a dress made of nothing but water. Oh and probably lots of Photoshop. All to promote what appears to be a Gisele-branded line of shoes.

Normally, we wouldn't just put any smutty Brazilian advert up here, you understand, but we were kind of missing Gisele last night... And now it's painfully clear why.

Click through for the hi-res-ness.

Video of the Day: Heidi Klum Loves Heidi Klum's Boobs Too

Bryan Christian — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 13:29:00 GMT

OK, what's the guy equivalent for a totally smokin' babe playing with her own boobs and giggling? Is there one?

Welcome back to work, everyone!

[TMZ via the ickily named HollywoodTuna]

Wanna Know How Seal and Heidi Klum Met? Too Bad, You're About to Find Out!

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:33:00 GMT

People magazine has the heartwarming story of how Seal met Heidi Klum:

"I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow," Klum tells Oprah Winfrey on her show's Superstar Couples episode set to air Thursday.

Wow, as in Seal was wearing bicycle shorts.

"And I pretty much saw everything," says Klum. "The whole package."

Wow, as in that's what you're going to tell your kids when they ask how you met? Classy. Well, glad we could solve this burning mystery for you. While we're in the Q & A portion of the morning, go ahead and read up on how Seal got those scars. Now the only question left to answer is "Why, God? Why?"