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The Erin Brockovich of Private Eyes: Ordinary Citizen Almost Singlehandedly Solves Forgotten Murder

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:26:00 GMT

Susan Galbreath has a story to tell that would make one helluva good Meryl Streep-Angelina Jolie-type Oscar-bait vehicle. You can bet they'll figure out how to screw this one up, by bringing in romance, character flaws that insult her gender, and annoying plot holes.

In an extraordinary six-page Times (UK) story, which we'll summarize below, an English reporter discusses how this extraordinarily resilient person took on ineffective law enforcement, stalkers, killers, and-- worst of all-- failing marriages over a seven-year period to finally bring a psychotic killer and his conspirators to justice...

Back in 2000, Galbreath came across the body of a nineteen-year-old girl. The woman had been raped, strangled, and raped again repeatedly after her death, then burned beyond recognition. (Her parents identified her by her jewelry and other small indicators.) The initial police investigation failed to bring about a credible suspect and the story disappeared. Galbreath didn't care about her marriage, which was failing, and her general lack of interest in work and socializing. She befriended a reporter and lured him to Kentucky to help her investigate. The two interviewed suspects and fed their information to the police, who were either working closely with the gumshoes or ignoring them as a couple of crackpots, depending on who was in charge of the basically-forgotten case at the time.

Eventually, Galbreath was on her own. She set up a MySpace page as a tribute to the deceased and noticed that one MySpace user in the area was a person of interest-- a woman who had fled the area amid rumors she was involved in the murder. Galbreath played dumb and contacted her as if at random to ask her to contribute to the page as an area resident. It was the straw that whipped that camel's ass, and the person of the interest soon started spilling her guts out of nowhere. The MySpace user turned out to be an accomplice with a guilty conscience and later told the police how it all went down: the psycho had picked up his victim in a car full of drunk and drugged-out partiers, hit her over the head with a baseball bat, and had his conspiring female friends, of which the MySpace user was one, cover up the crime by dumping and burning the body.

18-year-old Jessica Currin had been walking home after a dullish Saturday evening at her friend’s house when she was stopped and given a lift in a car driven by Quincy Omar Cross, a 31-year-old layabout, serial hard-drug user and sexual offender. Also in the car, in a heavily drug-induced party mood, were four others – one man and three girls in their late teens.
Once she was inside the large, white, old Cadillac, Cross immediately began to sexually assault Jessica, aided by one of the girls. All four had been using cocaine, Ecstasy and alcohol. When Jessica resisted, Cross smashed a small baseball bat into the back of her head.

After several years on the (unpaid) job, Galbreath's work ultimately came down to the one chance MySpace message, but she wasn't fazed by all that lost time. Now the budding detective wants to get her PI license and has since found the love of her life and peace. At last.

Read the much more coherent (and epic) full tale here.

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Disabled Girl May Win Runway Model Contest

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 21:29:00 GMT

She has four kidneys. Four kidneys, one hand, major digestion problems, and worse arthritis than your great-grandmother. And she's in the running to become the next Teen Princess UK...

According to the Daily Mail, 15-year-old Brit Maryelen Loughran idolizes former winner and tabloid magnet Katie Price and, despite having Motility Syndrome, which means she must keep a tube pumping food through her body for her entire waking day. But she is one of the strongest people we've come across in ages. Just check out these excerpts from her interview:

'My idol is Jordan, not because I want to be a glamour model, but because I think she is a strong independent woman who doesn't care what anyone thinks.
'I think having my disability - although I don't like to think of it as that - makes you think like that. It's worked for her and she is very successful.'

'He took some photos and then he posted them to us and I though why not give it a go - you have to have a positive outlook on life and can't be scared to try new things.'

Why not, right? It makes our problems seem ridiculously minuscule in comparison.

Via the Daily Mail.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Don't cancel your Mexican vacation, says the country's President... the shocking drug violence there will be all cleared up, you know, in 2012.

Brittany Snow will appear in a new spinoff of Gossip Girl, a popular educational program.

Another supermodel bites the dust... Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were married in Santa Monica yesterday, after having denied the wedding rumors for months, even years.

Jake and Reese are rumored to be the next celebrity couple that will walk down the aisle.

Kate Nash is already one step ahead of them, although her fiancee is an unknown.

Just the latest in a long line of 45-year-old hotties to grace the nudie mag, Lisa Rinna will be the next one to pose for Playboy.

This unanimous Supreme Court ruling on religious monuments in public parks is extremely troublesome.

The woman in the car during Morgan Freeman's car accident claims he was drunk. Oh, and she's absolutely not his mistress. And one more: she's suing him for not denying the mistress thing.

Hero of the day? A mother ran into her daughter's rapist while he was out of jail on a weekend pass. He asked after her daughter, apparently in a gleeful manner, and so she followed him into a bar, poured a bottle of petrol all over him and... struck a match...

And Britain's Next Top Model is already topless...

Topless Coffee Shop Opens In Maine, Not Without Controversy, Bottoms

The Rise and Fall of Lindsay Lohan

Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

This Week in Gayness: The New Transgender Minister

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:16:00 GMT

Bloggers are defending Anderson Cooper's right to privacy. Can a "Leave Anderson Alone" YouTube video be far behind?

Four suspects have been arrested in that San Francisco lesbian gang rape case.

Meanwhile, also from San Francisco, some positive news...

First United Lutheran Church in San Francisco, the first Lutheran church to ordain an openly LGBT pastor in the 1990s, recently welcomed a new queer member of the ministry. Jay Wilson, now one of the few openly transgender pastors in San Francisco, was ordained by Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries and installed as a pastor at First United last month. [Bay Area Reporter]

Ruben Diaz, Sr., part of the Axis of Evil Democrats that are stand in the way of gay marriage in New York State, is under major pressure from unions, LGBT groups, and others to stop his insane power grab.

Believe it or not, the LGBT-friendly Hero of the Week? George W. Bush, who signed legislation that requires "businesses to roll over retirement benefits to a same-sex partner in the event of the employee’s death."

The ACLU is suing ass-backwards Arkansas for barring unmarried people, gay or straight, from adopting. As we said before: great, let's make it harder for people to be happy and for orphans to find homes. This was a top priority!

And that Richard Simmons clip we showed you earlier today? It means he isn't gay, according to Jossip, which obviously didn't even watch it.

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This Week In Gayness: Straight Man Sues Over Homophobic Taunting

Three Men Jump 12-Year-Old Girl, Beat Her Up, Call Her A Hooker... Then Arrest Her

Video From Crazy Kansas Churchies: Santa Claus a Fag, Rapist

Sloppy Seconds: Billie Jean Was Indeed My Lover?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 22:23:00 GMT

Frank Stallone-- guess who he's related to-- got a reality show based on his relation to a famous person.

Woman wins a million bucks, throws it away. End of story, right? A thoughtful clerk decides not to be greedy and gave her the ticket after discovering the oversight.

Caylee Anthony's body was found four months ago, but the police ignored the guy who kept calling to report its discovery. Too bad there isn't a caring parent around to shame these people into early retirement.

FYI: Al Franken now leads by dozen of votes, perhaps up to 250, in the endless Minnesota recount, with thousands of absentee ballots still to come.

The porn industry has been hit (hard) by the recession. [NSFW link!]

Billie Jean is Michael Jackson's lover? We think this woman is completely bonkers, though amusing as hell.

Someone please explain this Facebook creep to us.

A man fined $50 by the IRS and threatened to prosecute him for a felony after he sent them the $1.50 in sales tax he owed on a store purchase.

Teachers aren't even allowed to drink on their own time anymore.

And Kim Kardashian-- another "star" who needs to go away, has a 2009 calendar.

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Heroes of the Day: Those Who Gave Money To Elderly Man With $3,000 Water Bill

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:38:00 GMT

In these trying economic times, even charities are suffering. Food banks are packed with starving, unemployed families while their stockpiles are depleted quickly and their donations plummet.

So, you'd be forgiven for thinking that an 84-year-old man, slapped with a $3,000 water bill, is going to be out of luck when asking people to help him out this holiday season...

Nope, they did, and in spades and droves and whatever you want to call it:

The Appleton, Wisconsin man has received $4,027 in donations to help offset the bill he received when he was away from home and his pipes cracked, allowing for tens of thousands of cubic feet of water to flood his meter. The organizers of the fundraising effort, which saw donations of $5 to $500, actually had to tell people not to continue donating and the stunned citizen, Norman Beckman, will donate the rest of the cash to an underfunded charity.

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Hero of the Day: Girl Who Talked Her Way Out of a Kidnapping

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:01:00 GMT

A woman who selflessly built homes for Katrina victims is CNN's Hero of the Year, an award which is obviously way cooler than Time's Person of the Year.

However, you look at it, this company is in deep shit: a radio station is being sued after a Win A Date With A Great Guy contest ended in the unlucky winner being raped. One commenter: "Is the radio station [really] responsible for doing a through criminal background check? What's a 24 year old woman dating a 46 year old man anyway?" Answers: possibly and we have no clue whatsoever.

Here it is, the annual annoying survey of the Top 10 stars you'd like to invite over for Thanksgiving...

1. Jennifer Aniston
2. Tina Fey
3. Ellen DeGeneres + Portia De Rossi
4. Patrick Dempsey
5. Suri Cruise
6. Tyra Banks
7. Jonas Brothers
8. Keira Knightley
9. Beyonce Knowles
10. Robert Pattinson

Barack Obama joked he's going to throw his "weight around" regarding college football playoff rules. Isn't it great to have a President(-elect) whose kidding doesn't make you scream in horror?

Remember that big Hollywood wiretap scandal involving Tom Cruise and some other celebrities? The culprit was sentenced to three years in prison.

Biden does appear to be setting up his Senate seat for his son to take over in 2010.

93% of respondents to a Fark survey said they prefer real boobs to fake ones. Duh. It would've been more of a story if the question was, "Which do you prefer: small natural boobs or big enhanced boobs?"

And you could win a $500 gift card to Ikea and a date with one of the guys from Pavement.

Sloppy Seconds: Prostitution Is Now Rape in the U.K.?

Not To Be Outdone, Sunday School Teacher Gets In On The Jailbait Action

The Second Life Divorce Gets Funnier After The Split

Cheerleaders "Streak" High School Football Game

Sloppy Seconds: The Evangelical Sex Craze

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 20:57:00 GMT

Your daily dummmy: guy who tried to pay for a lap dance with a bag of coke. The stripper was more insulted, it seems, by the fact that stuff was only worth $20:

Tualatin police arrested a man who allegedly paid for a lap dance with $20 and a baggy of cocaine.
Police spokeswoman Jennifer Massey said officers responding to a call from a bouncer found Jose Angel Bruno Melgar outside Jiggles Tavern and he acknowledged giving cocaine to the dancer.

The 19-year-old from Cornelius has been charged with cocaine possession and lodged in the Washington County jail. Massey said Monday the cocaine has a street value of $20.

This woman is a true hero. She went to a house auction to help her son purchase a home and ended up sitting next to another woman, who was crying hysterically. Turns out the crying woman's home, now foreclosed, was up for sale. The stranger bought the woman's home for 30 big ones and handed it back to her.

Did Richard Dreyfuss just say he hated working with "fascist" Oliver Stone? Actually, that's what everyone who works with Stone says about him.

A man is in jail after for hitting a cop with a beer bottle and leading the police on a high speed chase, which ultimately led to his own tasing and arrest. The best part? Laughing it off, he told the cops he didn't give a shit, since his crime was "a misdemeanor." It need not be said he is charged with several felonies.

Shut up, Dina Lohan.

You knew it was bound to happen sooner or later: a robocall done by what sounds like a sex line worker.

And one Fark headline claims "Evangelicals have sex earlier-- and more of it-- than any other religious group." Read the full story in this week's New Yorker.

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Hero of the Day: Girl Who Talked Her Way Out of a Kidnapping

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:16:00 GMT

A seven-year-old girl in Columbus, Ohio, who sat down on a neighbor's steps to collect her things while walking home from school, was grabbed from behind and dragged into a stranger's house, where he forced her to pose nude for him.

This could be the beginning of a really scary Lifetime movie, one of those ones where the girl emerges twenty years later, brainwashed and confused, to search out her family. Thank God that, after being forced to pose nude for his leering camera, this unnamed girl caught a break and used it to make a daring move...

[T]he 7-year-old girl was also forced to take pictures of [40 year-old suspect James] Glenn while he was half naked.
The girl's relative said she told Glenn she was hungry to distract him and while he left her alone, she called her family, finding a utility bill to tell him where she was.

"I'm like, 'I'm going to be over at your apartment in five seconds. You're going to let her out of your apartment,'" Todd said.

Amazingly, he must have, for the girl was returned safe to her family and Glenn now faces a litany of charges, one of which includes Gross Sexual Imposition. That's putting it mildly-- how's about kidnapping, for starters?

Via NBC.

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Hero Of The Day: Woman Who Reversed Her Menopause

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:58:00 GMT

Margaret Lloyd-Hart was twenty-nine-years-old and going through menopause.

Instead of going childless and suffering through an early so-called "old age," she went and did something about it. Something that kicks major ass: she underwent an experimental ovarian graft procedure and made world history...

What more needs to be said than this, Newsweek's report on the procedure:

Last year surgeons removed Margaret Lloyd-Hart's second ovary after problems with cysts, but the Arizona ballerina, now 30, wasn't ready to give up on fertility. So doctors froze the tissue. With both ovaries gone, she was menopausal. She started hormone-replacement therapy, but was unhappy with side effects. So doctors at New York Methodist Hospital thawed her ovary, threaded strips of it onto a biodegradable "frame," and inserted it near her fallopian tubes. After a whopping dose of hormones, the eggs embedded in her ovarian tissue were back in action: she ovulated and menstruated, a groundbreaking result. Her surgery was the first to restore ovulation through ovarian tissue transplant. Although Lloyd-Hart says she isn't trying to get pregnant, the new technique could one day help other women overcome infertility.

Ah, piece of cake, right? Yep, all in a day's historical work at New York Methodist and Lloyd-Hart walks out with her whole life turned around for the better. "Cocktail, doctor?" "Yes, doctor, why not?"

Lloyd-Hart is the first woman to see her menopause reverse, which is indeed cause for celebration. Even more so is the realization that this woman has had a rough life and this may be the best thing that has happened to her in ages:

The 30-year-old who lives in Arizona, had an ovary removed last year to treat a benign medical condition. Her other ovary had been taken out when she was 17 because of a cyst.
Experts at Leeds and elsewhere were keen to stress that the release of an egg did not mean that Ms Lloyd-Hart could have a successful pregnancy. [However, the] new procedure also opens up the possibility of donor ovaries being transplanted into infertile women.

Well, we're still holding out hope for our girl MLH. Read more at the BBC.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Heath Ledger Investigation

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:33:00 GMT

James Franco denies the shirt he wears in Pineapple Express is "stolen."

Betty White and Rue McClanahan both avoided Estelle Getty's funeral.

Shia Labeouf will not, as previously rumored, lose a finger.

Even some offensive jokes are too offensive for Bob Saget: he has lashed out at an eating disorder joke and other comments made at the expense of the Olsen twins during his own Comedy Central roast.

Celebrity Hero of the Day: Kirk Douglas, who has long fought for an official US apology for slavery, is thrilled that the House has passed a fitting resolution.

A judge tossed Lisa Marie's lawsuit against ex-boyfriend Tim Burton, which comes as no surprise.

The paparazzi have yet to capture Nicole Kidman's phantom baby. In a photograph, of course.

Can you believe the cast Chicago director Rob Marshall assembled for his new musical, Nine: Daniel Day Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, Kate Hudson, Dame Judi Dench, and Sophia Loren... for starters. There's also some guy named Fellini who's working on the screenplay...

The Heath Ledger investigation has closed. It's unclear whether Mary-Kate Olsen's refusal to testify is a reason investigators ended their search, for lack of evidence.

Via WENN.

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