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Male Australian Writer Believes Most Women Are Socially Inept, Crass, Not Bangable

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:59:00 GMT

We love how this male writer cites a female Emily Post wannabe in ripping up Australia's women, presumably after having been dumped by a wild party girl like the ones he attacks so ruthlessly.

Then again, we don't disagree with a few of his points about the "fairer sex."

If the evidence screened on a recent popular reality television show [don't say The Hills - Ed.] is to be believed then certain young, modern, Australian women are not only completely lacking in good manners but they are also foul-mouthed, loud and uncultured.

All of that is true of all English-speaking people in this day and age, the men included.

it's interesting to look at just how far the modern woman – regardless of age, race, status or income – has sunk in her attempt to "live in a man's world."

This all kinds of awful-- perhaps one of our readers can take this line to task, especially that last snarky remark... we don't have the patience.

Many Australian women are now socially inept, particularly when it comes to manners – from the businesswoman who orders the hotel concierge to get them a cab "quick smart" to the moody shop assistant who rolls her eyes when asked for help and then turns to the next assistant and announces that she cannot wait to knock off.

What about the businessman who orders up a hooker from Craig's List and then complains to her madame that she makes him wear a condom? What about the dudes who feel no qualms about hitting on a woman sitting at the bar when her boyfriend goes to the bathroom? What about the moody male video store clerk who rolls his eyes when you ask what came out this week? What if-- well, you get the point.

Then comes a line (the first one here) that we agree with 100%:

A Brisbane businessman recently revealed that, when he opened a door for two professional women exiting an office, he received no acknowledgement only to have a glass door slammed in his face after following them out. Many men are now becoming reluctant to open doors for women because they merely get "huffed" at and pushed aside.

Women almost never-- I should do a social experiment, but I would guess it's one out of ten, tops-- thank us or even acknowledge us holding the door for them. And we don't mean we stop for more than two seconds to hold the door-- it's not like we're standing there expectantly. We just know that they're a few steps back and will have to deal with the door swinging back in their faces if we don't stop to hold it. We do the same thing for anyone, regardless of gender or any other quality of the person(s) behind us. But men always mutter a casual but polite thank you-- I'm guessing at least eight or nine out of every ten.

Not cool, ladies. And another thing:

Women in the 40 to 60-year-old age bracket regard footpaths, aisles and malls as theirs alone. Put two or three of these women together and everyone must make way for them. In their world nothing comes between them and their conversation, certainly not manners or respect.

We disagree with this statement, if only because our experience is with strollers in Brooklyn and the side-by-side lineup of those monsters, each of which is wider than a motorcycle with a sidecar. Author Ian Wallace would likely agree if he lived in New York. Meanwhile, he cites June-Dally Watkins, the Emily Post type we cited, as saying good manners is an important character trait for all women. We say it's important in everyone.

Read his full story here.

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Did You Miss The Sex Workers' Art Show Tour?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:50:00 GMT

If you missed them this week in Virginia and North Carolina, don't fret-- we have the lowdown on the Sex Workers' Art Show's Limited 2009 Dirty South Tour...

According to the official website, tour participants included World Famous *BOB* (top) and porn star Lorelei Lee (above.) The tour's focus was on "spoken word, music, drag, burlesque, and multimedia performance art. Intelligent and hot, disturbing and hilarious, the performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work, from celebration of prostitutes' rights and sex-positivity to views from the darker sides of the industry."

The promoters wanted "to dispel the myth that they are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses!" We don't know about that last part, especially with the exclamation point, but this attitude sure garnered a lot of attention.

In Williamsburg, Virginia, this week, conservative knuckleheads meddled as usual, trying to tell college students what they should and should not see. The only thing these people know about the First Amendment is that it comes before the one with the guns.

Last year, their devotion to this divisive annual event helped get their popular president Gene Nichol ousted by fire-breathing conservatives on the Board of Visitors and the state legislature.

Nichol opposed the show on principle, yet backed his students' decision and refused to ban it from campus.
His successor, W. Taylor Reveley, has done exactly the same, yet remains unsinged.

I'm not saying it's the students' fault Nichol was forced out. The fault lies with the hypocrites who used the sex show as one more briquette to burn him at the stake. [Daily Press]

Great job, right-wingers. You ousted an honest man and had him replaced with... a guy who also slightly disagrees with your Puritanical views. It's too bad there's no such thing as hell, because... well, maybe we're getting carried away. The show seems to have been a success in spite of all this political nonsense, and we look forward to seeing it further up the east coast...

Via the Sex Workers' Art Show website.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Spitzer Scandal Never Dies

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

Remember that red-state porn craze we told you about? Apparently, Utah pays for it more than any other state.

Typical: 16 people were arrested following violence at a concert held to promote non-violence.

Hayden Panetierre may be headed toward a nervous breakdown. Yeesh.

We don't get it. Why would the police want Craigslist to boot almost all of its erotic service ads? Isn't this just going to make it harder for them to catch illegal sex activities? Not that we're complaining... legalize everything!

Amy Winehouse's visa was denied, which means she can't perform at Coachella. Is this visa-denial shit still happening for harmless kooks thirty years after Hoover hounded John Lennon?

This Albanian sex scandal would've been worth a post if it hadn't been, you know, Albanian.

Does Eliot Spitzer have to choke a hooker? Apparently, yes... at least, according to the woman in this story, which also features a teasing P.S. about another Governor, not from New York, who was a client of the same madam.

Good Lord, is this weird: NAMBLA (the North American Man-Boy Love Association-- you know, the pervs) tried to put a hit on New York State Attorney General, possibly the next Governor, for a mere $10,000.

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Yes, Ma'am(aries)! Royal Army Corproal Busted For Moonlighting As Expensive Hooker

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:38:00 GMT

Hooker Roxi Llewelyn advertised her stats: 32E breasts... 21-years-old... Englander... interested in being the rented sex object of both men and women... oh, and she's a a junior NCO/Lance Corporal in the Royal Military Police...

Whoops. Her Majesty's military want to have a word with her about that last part.

Rebecca Smith (yeah, we prefer "Roxi Llewelyn") charged dudes and ladies one hundred British pounds per hour for her services*, including "spanking and bondage" and "15 minute quickies," which she advertised over the internet. Once considered the most promising candidate in her class, Smith was booted from her military cop gig after a nosy superior caught her using an official computer to respond to fan comments on her racy website, which we have been unable to track down:

One message left by a punter hailed her as “gorgeous”. Another thanked her for the “nice time”. [The Sun]

We should amend that to read: Smith may have been booted from her military cop gig, but obviously, her admirers will forgive her...

*actually, 100 quid an hour is nothing compared to Ashley Alexandra Dupre.

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Cops Stripped Of Duties After Wild Hooker Party

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:53:00 GMT

Imagine you're a cop in Australia. How is it possible you're able to carry out your duties with the high-quality gene pool there?

Who could blame the cops in the country's Northern Territory for growing restless while on patrol and stopping off at the Hooker Ball for a grope and grind?

According to the local media in Darwin, NT, the two cops were removed from street work after compromising photographs turned up from an annual pimps-and-hoes-themed costume party in the sleepy capital. They were supposed to be checking the club for crime, drunken antics, and proper licensing, but instead got a couple of lapdances and delivered one or two spankings. What, does Darwin want its cops to be asexual or-- worse-- un-fun?

As these pictures prove, the coppers had no other choice. They should be exonerated.

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Take Us To Detroit: Site of this Weekend's Biggest Orgy

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 22:18:00 GMT

What do you get when you take nineteen prostitutes, twenty dudes, one madam, her underage daughter and her equally underage friend? You get another fun-filled Saturday night in Detroit.

Local press reports indicate the hostess with the mostest is a thirty-nine-year-old woman with a sixteen-year-old daughter. The cops burst through the front door as the daughter and her friend were dancing topless on a table in the living room. Whoops! The best part of all this is that the hookers and johns were merely given tickets and sent away... presumably to a quieter venue for way more brothel fun.

There will be plenty of money to pay off those fines, since the house mom took a $15 cover charge at the door from the guys and a cut of whatever the ladies earned in what must've been cramped quarters. After all, if you hire nineteen prostitutes and, say, three or four bedrooms, where does everyone get it on? Sounds like it was just a big uninterrupted orgy... or "Saturday night," for you Detroiters...

Here's a general AP story on this.

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Photo Evidence: Tila Tequila Was A Vegas Call Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:19:00 GMT

Hey, we don't judge anyone for trying to earn a living. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, we don't care if you smoke crack and jerk off while working as a telemarketer. (Okay, the telemarketing thing is uncool-- it's better if you get into burglarly instead.)

But we do report the news and this photo of Tila Tequila that supposedly proves she was a Vegas escort falls under that category, at least as far as our threshold is concerned...

The only reason we think this flyer, which a guy picked up from a total stranger in Vegas (no STD jokes, please), might be fake is the price: two girls for $79? Are those recession prices or pre-Tequila-MTV-fame prices? Because we can't imagine Vegas was that cheap even back then...

The original author explains that, once you call looking for the $79 special, the price immediately rises to $370. The call girl line operator hung up on when he explained that Tila and Suzette were probably one and the same. He never learned for sure whether Tila was just posing for the ad or actually worked for the hooker operation... or something else.

Until we uncover the truth, here's the full ad:

Via Spike.

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Reason #8,847 Not To Sleep With A Bali Hooker...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:03:00 GMT

This is one of the most bizarre family custody cases we've ever heard about.

It involves a man, a hooker, a mom, a five-year-old girl, a series of judges, one STD... and, hopefully, a happy ending... no pun intended...

According to Strollerderby, this is the story of:

1) Man in Australia gets married, his wife has a five-year-old daughter. Daughter contracts an unnamed STD.

2) Wife leaves man, saying he cheated on her and gave the daughter the STD. But how did he give the daughter the STD?

3) Man tells judge: "Hey Judge, it was nothing more than this ol' pro I rented out on vacation in Bali." Judge says: "Suck it, I'm taking your daughter away." (Actual transcripts unavailable.)

4) Man tells appellate court judge, "Dude, I was serious about that ol' pro thing. I think I gave the undisclosed STD to my daughter via a towel we shared one day." Judge: "Yep, that sounds about right" and gives the man custody again.

5) The internets throw a shitfit:

That a judge would put a child back in the home of a suspected molester without being 100 percent certain is creepy enough. But so is the fact that a number of STDs could easily be passed to a child - even, according to reputable health sources, by a shared towel.

Innocent until proven guilty, people. Of course, the guy deserves at least some punishment for cheating with a hooker in a foreign country while he had a wife and family back home-- when are people going to realize that cheating has major consequences for those around them?

Via Strollerderby.

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New Zealand Teacher In Hot Water For Her Other Job As A Hooker

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 14:04:00 GMT

A teacher in Auckland, New Zealand is in danger of losing her job after it was reported that she was streetwalking after class. (Only way this story could be better: if the stool pigeon was a john and the father of one of her charges.)

But there's, as always if we're bothering to report the story, a twist, if you haven't figured out what it is already...

The woman, who was not identified in news reports, is completely within her legal rights to work as a prostitute, since hooking is legal in NZ. Of course, that never stopped a crusading school board:

The newspaper, which did not name the teacher or her school, said a parent told the teacher's principal, who was balancing a possible negative reaction from parents with the woman's right to work in a job which [is legal.]

The teacher, as you may have imagined, told the school board it's none of their damn business what she does with her time. Better yet: she's a primary school teacher. Would the kids even care? And best of all: she's in her 30s and the (single?) mother of two children. Great, School Board People, your possible decision to fire her wouldn't affect her or her family at all...

Via 3 News.

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