Scanner : hookergate

DC Madam Dictates Memoir From Beyond The Grave!

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:52:00 GMT

A new, epic blog post on 10 Zen Monkeys may restart those rumors that said Deborah Jeane Palfrey committed suicide... or, as "Palfrey" herself says, quash them for good...

Yes, we understand this makes no sense... how is a victim of suicide or murder going to come back from the grave and solve their own case? Via metaphysical psychics, of course!

The 55-year-old astrologer lived 10 miles from Tarpon Springs, Florida where Palfrey had committed suicide in May. (Her body was discovered hanging from a noose in a storage shed behind her mother's mobile home.) [T]wo weeks later, "I was at home in my living room when I became aware that another person, a spirit entity, had suddenly entered my consciousness and my body..."

Daniel says he now has the answers to the questions surrounding the infamous brothel-keeper's death. (Was Palfrey's suicide faked by government conspirators? Would she reveal the names of her famous clients?) Within 10 seconds, he'd identified the visiting spirit as Deborah Jeane Palfrey. (And to make sure, he'd verified it — with another psychic.) In July, Daniel was ready to contact the sex-worker advocate to say the madam was now available for questions.

At this point, we were laughing so hard we almost stopped reading. Almost. We gotta admit, we wanted to hear what the ghost of whoredom past had to say about herself:

This is absolutely false! I am solely responsible for the manner in which my life ended. There was no conspiracy that I became aware of to kill me. And even if there was, it was not successful. I took my own life; it was my decision, end of story. Or is it...?

The Government was my own dark shadow. The Government is very often our own personal dark shadow. Once we begin to recognize this we can move past the guilt, punishment, blame games and victimization. Until such time as the Human Race gets really, totally and completely fed up with limiting beliefs and values, our Government will stand as a reminder, a grim reminder that we are anything but a free people living in a world of real freedom and personal fulfillment.

Zen Monkeys question whether this is the real voice of Palfrey (for some reason, she sounds to us like a lame middle-aged "psychic" who has a bone to pick with the Federales), but we think it most definitely is: who wouldn't kill themselves if they found themselves living in their mother's mobile home in Tarpon Springs...

More nonsense here.

Thanks to El Destiny for the link!

Sloppy Seconds: Elizabeth Hasselbeck Not Sure What A Vibrator Is For

"D.C. Madam" Believed to be Dead

David Vitter: "Thank Christ You Forgot About Me"

Move Over Lazy Young People, Persephone Lewin's Day Puts Yours To Shame

Who Would You Rather (Bring Down With A Political Sex Scandal)?

Rumor: Governor Running A Brothel Out of His Office

While You Were Sleeping: The Pregnant Prostitute Raid

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:37:00 GMT

Amy Winehouse was hospitalized last night for an allergic reation to some sort of medication. Yep, this was front page, above the fold, in the Metro paper today. Wow.

Barack Obama still fails to move many voters on the ready-to-lead issue.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre may be the next Dr. Phil, according to a steady stream of sources that say she's ready to sign a $2 million deal that would also include a primetime interview about her past. Meanwhile...

...married New Jersey businessman Thomas "TJ" Earle admitted to a fling with Dupre on Friday, saying he's "ashamed" of the month-long affair. [Fox]

A couple of po-po had to go out of their way to convince a group of party animals that, in fact, they were not the cop-costumed strippers the revelers had hired.

Zhang Ziyi, like many Chinese people, is either completely oblivious to China's human rights record or thinks the Olympics shouldn't be protested anyway.

Howard Stern sidekick Robin Quivers is single again. Poor Robin, will she ever find love amongst the sexual chaos?

And police busted up a pregnant hooker prostitution ring that operated over the internet. It's too early for us to think about, let alone deal, with this one.

Ex-Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre Speaks Out

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:37:00 GMT

Ashley Alexandra Dupre, seen most recently with her hot mom on the beach, finally broke her three-month silence on her MySpace blog...

FRIEND REQUEST’S
Current mood: thankful
Hey everyone...Let me just start by saying THANK YOU ALL, for your support!! I have not had the time to be on myspace that much...BUT I have been trying to get on here to approve pending friend requests and catch up on e-mails & comments. Sorry it is taking me so long!! All of my pending friend requests from 3/12 through now were deleted by myspace (if you do not approve them within a certain number of days, they get deleted) so...please please please re-send and you should be approved automatically. Again, thank you all so much for taking the time to send me a bit of strength and inspiration via email or comment, your words have touched me and I thank you for that...with all my heart, I love you guys!!! :) ...and to all the not so kind words...I love you too, because it makes me push myself and want it even more. "Hard times don't last...only strong people".

xxA

The Hookergate heroine went on to cite a dozen or so examples of fan mail she received in the form of MySpace messages and comments, all of which are generic ("just keep on being you," "you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," etc.) What will Ashley do next? American Idol? A recording contract? A modeling career? What do you predict for the accidental celebrity?

Via MySpace.

Previous: Hey Ash, Long Time, No See (And Nice Tat!)

Hookers Are Getting Tricky These Days

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:16:00 GMT

In Ghana, fifty or more prostitutes drank, cried, and danced at the funeral of an 11-year-old boy, causing considerable public confusion. Why were these poor (and by poor we mean, Ghana-poverty-stricken poor) women in such an uproar?

Some of them who were virtually drunk would occasionally take to the floor and dance for a while, and then move to a canopy where a picture of the deceased was, look at the image and talk to it as if they could be heard by the picture.

DAILY GUIDE learnt that the deceased used to run errands for the call girls as they lived close to his house.

Mr. Bob Atua, a farmer and an uncle to Moses, told DAILY GUIDE that he was grabbed by an unknown woman when he went out to urinate and when he enquired from her why she had held on to him, she responded by asking him what he was doing near her room when he had not come to solicit her services.

Meanwhile, as Scanner Nicole reported earlier, American hookers are going through a crisis of their own: the Bush economy.

The first 100 customers who show up with their tax rebate checks receive twice the "services" for the price of one. "We always give our customers the most bang for the buck," he says. "You bring your $600 check in, and we give you the $1,200 George Bush party--three girls and a bottle of champagne." That's one way to stimulate the, um, economy.

Gray's Papaya would argue their "recession special" is a better deal, but this one's way more entertaining.

Seriously, though, Newsweek is reporting huge decreases in income for Vegas-area prostitutes, mainly thanks to the spike in gas prices. The average cost of diesel in the West is now

$4.87 per gallon. That means truckers could easily spend $1,000 to fill up their tanks, leaving them with little extra cash and less likely to take a detour. Yet, even brothels located in the south, closer to tourist-populated places like Las Vegas, are not faring much better.
Casino gambling revenue fell from $614.9 million in December to $517.5 million in March... Many brothels consider gambling direct competition for a tourist's discretionary dollars...

You know when the desperate are too desperate to gamble, the country is really headed in the wrong direction. Bring back Ron Paul, we say! He'll legalize everything, including genocide and Special K without a prescription, and everything will be like it is on Star Trek! Sorry, we don't know where that little rant came from...

More on the latest hookergate that doesn't involve politicians. Yet. Via Newsweek.

Photo via.

13 Year Olds Busted For Ordering Hookers With Dad's Credit Card

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 May 2008 20:49:00 GMT

Easily the most amusing article we've seen this week: the Money story on the thirteen-year-old boy convicted of fraud after her stole his Dad's credit card, went on a wild shopping spree, and capped off the day with some friends in a hotel room full of hookers gives us hope for the up-and-coming generation...

Ralph Hardy (name, for whatever reason, not withheld) is your average thirteen-year-old boy in Newark, TX. He likes World of Warcraft, video games, and ridiculously wild prostitute orgies. Ralph

1) Ordered a credit card in his father's name

2) Took his friends on a $30,000 shopping spree (in other words, he bought a hat from a New York vintage store.)

3) Back at their hideout (aka a trashy hotel some idiot rented to them without parental consent), they ordered cookies, potato chips, and cases of Dr. Pepper. When the delivery driver came to their door, the boys asked him if he could "score them some chicks and were willing to pay." The man, obviously the only sane person in Newark, Texas, called the cops.

4) Somehow, two call girls materialized. This passage has to be read in full:

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

That may be offensive, but goddamn if it isn't hilarious. Oh, there's more:

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

5) The article concludes with this little gem, which is why we have gotten such hope for the future from it: "Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician."

Read the whole thing in full (you owe it to yourself on this beautiful day) at the UK Money site.

Charlie Sheen In Today's (Second?) Biggest Hooker Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 01 May 2008 19:30:00 GMT

You know that anytime a celebrity tries to get himself a bit of press using a prostitution scandal, soon enough Charlie Sheen will see his bet and double it...

Sheen, the star of one of the unfunniest sitcoms ever to (almost) top the Nielsen ratings, is spending some of those of those big fat checks on hookers so expensive, Ashley Alexandra Dupree is gonna look like a $5 Battery Tunnel streetwalker. Sheen, according to IMDB

reportedly answered a newspaper advertisement for Nici's Girls which charges customers $25,000 per night - and placed an order for four escorts. The 42-year-old - who was accused by ex-wife Denise Richards of having an unhealthy love for prostitutes and Internet porn - reportedly paid agency owner Nici $20,000 for their services.

This revelation, published this month in Rolling Stone, featured one hilarious David Lee Roth-style moment of celebrity self-indulgence:

"When Nici dropped four girls off at his penthouse, she found the actor in silk pajamas with 'C. MaSheen' embroidered over the pocket. Sheen gave her a $20,000 check for the girls, and she picked them up several hours later."

This story goes on and on and you should read the rest at IMDB News. However, we'll leave you with one comment, from Sheen's publicist to the dreaded Page Six:

"This is an old, old, old story. But, if you're looking for a really good story, I heard that Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe are getting a divorce."

Football Star's Hooker Scandal Hilariously Embarrassing

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 01 May 2008 17:30:00 GMT

The David Beckham of Brazil is caught in the Sex Scandal of the Week, featuring three hookers, drug allegations, the cops, and one humiliating revelation.

Ronaldo, the international football star, had a quarrel with 3 hookers he brought back to his hotel room in Brazil. He discovered too late that they were transvestites.

Poor Ronaldo... first, someone names him Ronaldo (ouch), then he becomes internationally famous and therefore has to hide his sexual proclivities, then those sexual proclivities come out in full force, splashed all across the large-print tabloids of South America.

To add insult to injury, after offering each individual $600 (to go away... or to stay?), one demanded 30 large or "she" would call her friends in the media. That unnamed transvestite, his/her feelings hurt, went to the police with the story that Ronaldo had asked her to pick up some drugs, although cops aren't buying her story at all.

All right, be honest now... do these look like men or women?

Via Stupid Celebrities.

David Vitter: "Thank Christ You Forgot About Me"

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:20:00 GMT

David Vitter wants y'all to forget he's a Republican Senator who hired hookers for more than a decade, while married to his equally conservative wife. But we haven't forgotten about one of the world's biggest hypocrites, who famously said Spitzer's sleeping with prostitutes while in office was a totally different story from his own sleeping with prostitutes while in office...

Well, then... allow us to reintroduce an old friend of ours, Louisiana Republican Senator David Vitter. Remember him? He's the second-rate Eliot Spitzer who was in a DC Madam's Little Black Book when the DC Madam accidentally let in a rowdy bunch of Feds, even though they didn't know the secret password.

Here in New Orleans, they haven't forgotten Vitter, who has been given an "F" rating from Middle Class Voter, and a local version of the Onion has a hilarious attack piece on him...

First, let's remind you that this self-proclaimed champion of Family Values is, according to Wikipedia

a staunch supporter of... pro-life to pro-gun rights while legislating against same-sex marriage, family planning funding for abortion providers, gambling, increases in the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) program, the United Nations and amnesty for illegal immigrants.

The New Orleans Levee, an admittedly low-budget parody rag, has exposed the hardcore conservative as a money-grubbing meathead with an affinity for barely-legal Hustler Club girls, as this picture of the staff at his 500K fundraiser reveals:

This is one brazen mofo. And with many of the state's Democrats displaced due to that hurricane and the mismanagement thereof by the leader he so blindly supports, Louisiana is going to have to put up with these shenanigans until at least 2017, when North America will be buried under forty feet of water.

Read more about Vitter and his exploits at the New Orleans Levee.