Scanner : hotties

While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Don't cancel your Mexican vacation, says the country's President... the shocking drug violence there will be all cleared up, you know, in 2012.

Brittany Snow will appear in a new spinoff of Gossip Girl, a popular educational program.

Another supermodel bites the dust... Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were married in Santa Monica yesterday, after having denied the wedding rumors for months, even years.

Jake and Reese are rumored to be the next celebrity couple that will walk down the aisle.

Kate Nash is already one step ahead of them, although her fiancee is an unknown.

Just the latest in a long line of 45-year-old hotties to grace the nudie mag, Lisa Rinna will be the next one to pose for Playboy.

This unanimous Supreme Court ruling on religious monuments in public parks is extremely troublesome.

The woman in the car during Morgan Freeman's car accident claims he was drunk. Oh, and she's absolutely not his mistress. And one more: she's suing him for not denying the mistress thing.

Hero of the day? A mother ran into her daughter's rapist while he was out of jail on a weekend pass. He asked after her daughter, apparently in a gleeful manner, and so she followed him into a bar, poured a bottle of petrol all over him and... struck a match...

And Britain's Next Top Model is already topless...

Topless Coffee Shop Opens In Maine, Not Without Controversy, Bottoms

The Rise and Fall of Lindsay Lohan

Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Today's Cradle-Robbing Cutie: Drama Teacher Lisa Glide

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 21:24:00 GMT

'Tis the season for stories of teachers sleeping with high school students, apparently.

35-year-old New Jersey drama teacher Lisa "Astro?" Glide was taken in by the cops yesterday following revelations she had a continuing sexual relationship with one of her students, a seventeen-year-old who has long since graduated. If these charges stick, she could face up to twenty years in prison...

Here are some comments we've seen on various news sites discussing this case:

-Hey authorities, he’s a little hint - if the “victim” is older than 13, he is not really a victim. He’s the luckiest dude at school - especially when the supposed “sex offender” looks like she just walked off the Cowboys cheerleading squad.
-Yet ANOTHER female predator. You can bet she'll get off with a slap. If a man did this, he'd be put away forever.
-seriously.....does anyone believe a 17 year old boy be emotionaly harmed by this? This may sound like double standard/sexist but just wondering?

I'll be more harmed by this becoming public, especiallly if she was not that attractive.

I understand her responsibility as a teacher but he is 17....
-Going back 5 yrs when I was 17 and if my teacher looked as good I would definately do her. A 17yr old male definately knows what he is doing. The teacher shouldnt be lawfully punished but definately fired and should seek a new career.

P.S. Good job lil man! Hope you scored an A++

Hey, 22-year-old dude: you'd be helping your case a whole more if you spelled "definitely" correctly when you say a 17-year-old "definately know what he is doing," since you sure as hell don't.

We post these stories all the time, but no one ever weighs in on whether these (FEMALE) teachers deserve punishment beyond an obvious firing. What do you think? If the now-eighteen-year-old guy consented and continued to consent throughout and testifies in her defense, what should her punishment be, if anything?

Related:

Droves of Students Coming Forward to Testify Against Skank Teacher

Teacher Arrested For Possession of Drugs, Terrible Goatee

9-Year-Old Boy Teaches You How To Pick Up Girls

Louisiana Teacher Gets Closer to Student By Sleeping with His Father

MySpace Actually Good For Something After All...

Scantily-Clad Baristas Attack Local Pervert... Ah, Gotta Love Washington State...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:20:00 GMT

A man dressed in women's underwear (including on his head and over his license plate) visited a Parkland, Washington coffee shop drive thru three times. It wasn't because of the coffee...

An unidentified perv returned each time to make sure the girls, all of whom were in bikinis as part of the shop's dress code, got a good look at his wang. One of them, however, had seen "very little" but already enough...

Here's the raw video:

He's seen arriving for the first time, grossing out a barista, and roaring off. The victim looks to her friend for help, but soon their expose-r is back for more. (Ladies, it's called "9-1-1.") On the second go around, they try to catch his license plate, but it's also covered in women's underwear. (Even his face is covered-- with one eye partly expose to get their reactions and, um, drive.)

Finally, the victim, who is referred to as "Kylie" in another video, was ready. When the joy rider pulled up for Round Three, Kylie tossed a cup of boiling hot water in his face, allegedly getting the man on his face and arms or legs, depending on who's telling the story in other reports. Guess what his reaction is, just before speeding off for the final time?

“Kylie opened the door and threw boiling hot water on his face and his chest and he said 'oooh yeah...'"

Once again: nine-one-one, everybody. Taking matters into your own hands maybe playing into theirs...

Video clip via LiveLeak. Top image and quote from KIROTV.

Related:

Topless Seattle Coffeehouse To Take Down Starbucks?

Today in WTF: Ex-Candidate For Kentucky Gov. Arrested For Sex Offenses After Obvious Joke

Apparently, A Naked Woman Is Automatically Lewd And/Or Erotic Now

Boobs On Bikes Rides Again, Despite Violent Anti-Violence Protests

Billionaire Pervert Turns Himself In To Face Jail, Butt Sex

Swedish Crossbowoman Misses Out On '08 Olympics, But Moonlights Nude Anyway

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:32:00 GMT

Even though crossbow will not be an Olympic sport until 2012, Swedish team member Sara Boberg decided not to wait four years to engage in the Games' seemingly integral moonlighting activity: posing naked...

We'd have had a huge crush on this lovely lass, even if we had seen the above photo without the below ones, which we're guessing were leaked by a vengeful ex...

Images via various blogs. More photos here.

Related:

Scanner Highs And Lows: Sweden Or Sexism?

German Female Olympians Form Close Bond, Immediately Pose Nude For Playboy

Swedish Teen Girls Like To Have Sex With Each Other

The 5 Hottest Men And 5 Hottest Women Of The 2008 Summer Olympics

Bulgarian Wrestlers Win Big... Are Big

Michael Phelps Dresses... Up?

Rhythm Gymnast Swizzles Her Ribbon All Over FHM Magazine

320 Bikini Girls Attempt To Break Pointless World Record

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:53:00 GMT

320 women showed up on a single British beach in attempt to a break Guinness World Record for the Most Bikini-Clad Women Photographed At The Same Time (or something similar.) Although they failed in their attempt, they did do one thing right...

The fundraising event, organised by the Middlesbrough Erimus Rotary Club, failed to beat the current Guinness World Record, set in September last year on Bondi Beach, in Sydney, Australia, when 1,010 women posed together in their bikinis.

However, it is still expected that the record attempt will have raised thousands of pounds for the Great North Air Ambulance Service, through £5 entry fees and sponsorship.

And, although a far cry from the sunny climes of Sydney, the sun did put in an appearance in Redcar today as thousands of people lined the beach to watch the women, aged from 16 to 81, taking part in the challenge.

"We had one lady of 81, we had one lady who came from Surrey purely to do this, lots of ladies from all over the north east, all shapes and sizes. Exactly what we wanted."

That's what we like: all kinds. Here's another shot from the beach:

Via the London Paper.

Harry Potter Rock Stars Adorably Nerdtastic

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:46:00 GMT

These Wrockstockers are so endearingly nerdy, we may just marry them in a Wiccan ceremony presided over by Dumbledore and go on to have little Mugwumps for children, but only so long as they haven't picked up any Hogwarts along the way.

Seriously, if you live in New York, Green Bay, or Chicago, look out for book dorks rampaging on the countryside this summer...

Apparently, the duo is part of some sort of "wizard rock" music cult that is sweeping the nation, threatening the very Christian cult values we hold dear. Look at them-- they are clearly rebellious Catholic schoolgirl types, in ties and Converse sneakers, probably smoking Mary Janes and eating unsanctioned rice cakes between classes.

Too late now-- they're both in college on the East Coast and have a CD coming out next week. Lord Almighty, there is no stopping these, lest He Who Must Not Be Named comes back and smites them down. And let's hope not-- 'cause, in all seriousness, these girls rule. Check out their songs on MySpace-- we're loving "I Was There" and "Transparent." It's like the Moldy Peaches, with a way more impressive repertoire and only ten dollars more of a recording budget.

We plan on being the first Harry Potter lookalikes in line to try to sneak backstage and try to impress them with our JK jive and black-and-white shoes. (There are going to be other bands, apparently 14 more, at these Wrockstocks, whatever that means, including Harry and the Potters, but the Myrtles are the real draw on the below dates...)

Jul 10 2008

8:00P

Portus 2008

Dallas, Texas

Jul 18 2008

7:00P

Barnes and Noble HP Mourning Party with Liane Graham

Bridgewater, New Jersey

Aug 6 2008

12:00P

Hilton Chicago Hotel for Wrock Chicago at Terminus!

Chicago, Illinois

Aug 17 2008

8:00P

TBA

Somewhere, Pennsylvania

Aug 23 2008

12:00P

Wrock for Darfur! in Waryas Park

Poughkeepsie, New York

Sep 21 2008

1:00P

NYC Wizard Rock Festival!

Brooklyn, New Yor

Via Honolulu Advertiser.

Vintage Stewardesses Hotter Than 2008 Supermodels

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:31:00 GMT

Forget Elvis at the Garden in '72: today's real vintage photographic discovery is an older-than-McCain website blog entry consisting of a long stream of stewardesses in their finest era.

There isn't even a question here whether this is "Hot or Not." We pity the fool who doesn't get excited by 1960s-era stewardesses and their Stepford Wife-smiles...

Our favorite part of the bad boy adventure "Catch Me If You Can" was (besides the mere presence of Amy Adams) the sequence where Leo slips past Tom Hanks and the FBI goon squad with a bevy of hot stewardesses on his arm.

They weren't as hot as these babes:

Link of the Day: Miss Bimbo

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:04:00 GMT

Fox News is throwing a fit over the latest online gaming craze: Miss Bimbo. The site, which teeters between obvious satire and disgraceful manipulation of preadolescent females, is downright nutty on all fronts...

Miss Bimbo is a virtual fashion game (is there anything more superficial or offensive to thinking people everywhere?) geared toward 9 to 16 year olds and, according to Fox, has hundreds of thousands of susceptible wannabe's on its roster.

[Users] are told to buy their virtual characters breast-enlargement surgery and to keep them "waif thin" with diet pills.
Players keep a constant watch on the weight, wardrobe, wealth and happiness of their character to create "the coolest, richest and most famous bimbo in the world."

You mean cooler, richer, and more famous than bimbo Paris Hilton? We seriously doubt it's more possible to more famous than her-- as for the rest of that sentence...

Anyway, as a friend put it in his e-mail forwarding this link: "Feminism just took a giant step backward." Then again, if it can be proved that these people are monstrous anti-feminists, maybe it'll help...

Link: Miss Bimbo

Thanks, Marco!

Hotties For... Ron Paul?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:50:00 GMT

Despite the fact that the Ron Paul "Revolution" passed us by many a week ago, the Hotties4RonPaul calendar is still the hot and happening item in sexual politics.

Here are some more teases from the website and the LA Times story:

Juliet Annerino, the founder of hotties4ronpaul, is second from right, violating the American flag so, so erotically.

[Thanks to Madeline Holler at Political Nanny.]

Video of the Day: Sarah Shahi Doesn't Always Dress Like a Dude

Bryan Christian — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:30:00 GMT

Superfoxy former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader Sarah Shahi spends most of her time on NBC's quirky cop show Life wearing somewhat mannish aviators and generally being ornery, which might make for good TV but, you know, kind of bums out everyone who fell for her a little when she was "that superfox from The L Word" or "that superfox from The L Word who did peyote with Tony Soprano." So for all y'all Life fans who've been waiting for a little more Shahi hotness (we're looking at you, Michael!), or for those of you who didn't realize how bodytastic Detective Dani Reese could be, well here ya go.

Men.Style.com via Goldenfiddle

Hey Geeks: "Mutant Enemy Day" Will Blow Your Mind, Gonads

Bryan Christian — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:25:00 GMT

Maybe you heard that the Writers Strike seems to be going from bad to holy-crap-level worse? Not only are you, the viewers at home, about to be subjected to a bunch of really crummy reality shows, but negotiations between the writers and producers have been constantly breaking down, leading many to conclude that the situation is gonna get worse before it gets any better.

But we here at Scanner like to turn frowns upside down when we can, so behold, the one good thing that we can bring you about this strike so far: LAist's coverage of "Mutant Enemy Day" outside the Fox lot, wherein Joss Whedon and a number of the creators and cast members from his shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, and the upcoming Dollhouse, were picketing, carrying signs, showing their support with donuts, and in a few cases being stone cold foxes. A partial list of attendees includes:

... Eliza Dushku (who will be collaborating with Whedon on the forthcoming Dollhouse), Nicholas Brendon, J. August Richards, Amy Acker, Juliet Landau, Tom Lenk, Felicia Day, Nathan Fillion, Alan Tudyk, Ron Glass, Morena Baccarin, Summer Glau, Harry Groener, and Camden Toy.

... which by our math is roughly 50% total hottie, 50% beloved cult character actor, and about 110% awesome.

Did You Know This About Charlize Theron? We Think You Did.

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 21:07:00 GMT

The secret is out and the verdict is in, ladies and gents. Charlize Theron is Esquire magazine's Sexiest Woman Alive. Go ahead and read Tom Chiarella's lingering, voyeuristic screenplay-style article about her sexiness and dream that one day you, too, could be an Esquire features writer and have the chance to see the sexiest woman alive rub her belly up close and in person at the Chateau Marmont. If any crew deserves some face time with the Theron, it's you all. You called it from the get go. Smart Scannerites that you are. Well done.

New Jane Goodall More Than a Little Bit of a Hottie

sarahhepola — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 19:00:00 GMT

Vanessa Woods is studying bonobos in the Congo. You know all about bonobos, those promiscuous little scamps who love to have sex. We think Vanessa’s work is fascinating and important. When we were wee Scanner bloggers, learning to chew solid food and type our first HTML code, we wanted to work with primates. We also wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer, but to work with primates on the side. So we salute Vanessa Woods for her courageous life’s work. But also? Also? She is a total hottie. Damn! Girl is foyn. (Thanks to Guy and Amanda for the link.)