Scanner : how to

Aria Giovanni Wants To Show You How To Do Something

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:21:00 GMT

Why is Aria Giovanni showing us bachelors how to cook via Break.com videos and do we care? Not "do we care that she's on Break.com showing us how to do things we'll quickly turn into four-alarm fires" but does anyone care what she's saying, with images like these?

Note that at about 1:30... she appears to be lightly stroking the long stem handle... hmmm, very interesting demonstration...

Aria Giovanni Teaches Us How To Boil Eggs

In case you didn't know, Aria Giovanni is a nude model and, um, self-described actress who was the Penthouse Pet for September of 2000. You may recall her previous Scanner appearance when we shared the first episode of James Gunn's PG Porn. We'd share more of these videos if she did something, you know... exciting.

Related:

PG Porn Takes the Bang Bus

Does This Supermodel Look Fat To You?

PG Porn Wishes You A Bloody Christmas

Today in WTF: PG Porn

Hey Ireland: Good Luck Stopping Internet Porn

Old People and Technology: In Which Our Dad One-Ups Us

Emily Farris — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:31:00 GMT

Yesterday we sent our dad this instructional video (just the YouTube link, as he doesn't read Scanner) with the subject line "Here, Dad." It was clearly a joke as our dad is a computer programmer with two iPod Nanos—one for his music and one for his podcasts. Then he sent this one back. Which has had us laughing all day. Seriously, we can't stop watching it. Mostly because we want to adopt the little old lady in it.

Say What? No More Rabbit Ears?

But What Will I Tell My Dad?

And They Said It Wouldn't Last

Surfing for Seniors: "No, the server is not the waiter or waitress at your favorite coffee shop."

Emily Farris — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 17:15:00 GMT

Our great aunt Winnie once tried to send us an email that bounced, so she printed it and sent it in the mail. We were very okay with that. As much as we love old people and the Internets, we know we're not up for the job of actually teaching them how to use Google and attach documents. Luckily we have the super helpful "Surfing for Seniors" to show them how to find gobs of information on embroidery... once they get comfortable with the fact that the mouse is like a hot potato.

What Does this 93-Year-Old-Man Love So Much About Old-People Sex?

Shocker! Old People Are Still Alive.

What's Cuter than Old People Writing About Young Peoples' Sex Lives? Nothing!

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Sloppy Seconds: Is Valentine's Day Over Yet?

Emily Farris — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:51:00 GMT

Still haven't quite found the closure you needed from that last break-up? How about writing an obituary for the relationship?

Planned Parenthood reminds us that condoms are an essential part of any Valentine's Day love making with the most unsexy video ever.

~~Fashion victim~~ actress Bai Ling was arrested at LAX for shoplifiting celebrity magazines and batteries.

Has Amy Winehouse sobered up enough to take a lover while her hubby "Blake Incarcerated" is, uh, incarcerated?

We have such a girl crush on Michelle Williams (and no, not just because her ex-BF died; we've been stalking her for years).

How to be Gay, Not 101

Emily Farris — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:31:00 GMT

Since we were poking around on Perez Hilton this morning anyway (our little sister's most reliable celebrity news source), we happened upon this listing for a course at the University of Michigan. Part of the Literature and Culture department section "002" is "How to be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation." But if you're only just a little gay, this course might not be for you:

Additional note. This course is not a basic introduction to gay male culture, but an exploration of certain issues arising from it. It assumes some background knowledge. Students wishing to inform themselves about gay men and gay culture in a preliminary way should enroll in an introductory course in lesbian/gay studies.

Sounds to us like a very poorly named Gay Studies II class.

[University of Michigan: How to be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation]