Scanner : hypocrites

Oh, So They Really Weren't Kidding About Carrie Prejean Being Topless

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 May 2009 15:50:00 GMT

At last... we have Carrie Prejean boob photos.

There are far more than the originally-promised ten, these are definitely pre-implants, and they are all professional shots of Carrie Prejean topless-- all of which disputes her initial assertion that there was only one photo, they were when she was 17 (you can tell by her face that she's old enough), and these weren't some casual bathroom pics given to a friend's talent scout or whatever.

Unfortunately, some moron released them to TMZ instead of us (or at least The Dirty), so they are all censored like the one above.

By the way, Donald Trump will announce... well, right around the time you're probably reading this... whether or not Carrie gets to keep her crown.

Via awful, lame-ass TMZ.com.

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Second Carrie Prejean Topless Photo Released... Will This Nightmare Ever End?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 May 2009 14:46:00 GMT

After days of torture, America's nightmare drought of covered-up topless photos of hypocrtic beauty pageant losers/winners is finally over: TheDirty put up a photo of Carrie Prejean, which we have here (you're going to be disappointed, we guarantee it), which immediately resulted in ridiculous controversy...

Our first reaction: isn't this just a reverse image of the first one? But no, it's from the same session... but remarkably horrible quality, especially when paired up, as above, with the initial photo. This might have something to do with why no one's sure about its validity:

But a rep for Prejean told Access Hollywood the photo is not her. The rep acknowledged that photo shows Prejean’s head, but that “it appears to have been Photoshopped.”

The rep went on to say that Prejean maintains that one photo was taken during that session, “as far as she can remember.” Her rep noted that the photo was taken four years ago and “her memory might be faulty.”

Prejean’s rep also told Access the photo was taken by a friend of Prejean’s, who sent it to an agent, but that she “can’t remember his name.” The rep said they believe the agent might be responsible for releasing the photo to TheDirty.com.

According to her rep, Prejean has contacted the Web site and asked them to stop using her photo.

TheDirty claims it was never contacted by Prejean, has not spoken with anyone's "agent," and the photo is not Photoshopped. On that last one, we have to ask how can they be sure? The quality is beyond atrocious-- it could be a fake, a very good one at that, for all anyone knows.

But one thing is for sure-- if there are more of these to come, Prejean's claims that a) she was 17 at the time, making these child porn (she sure doesn't look 17-- although, wow, it's safe to say the woman pictured above is 20 times better looking than cross-eyed and fake-breasted Miss California) and b) she only had one photo taken? Those kinds of claims are going to help TheDirty's case and the pageant officials in their quest to strip you of your crown.

P.S. Honestly-- who takes off their top for a modeling photo and only takes one shot? She is definitely lying.

Via The Dirty.

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Ex-Mayor in Michigan Arrested For Having Sex in the Street

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:42:00 GMT

Kim Capello, a 56-year-old man who used to be the Mayor pro term of Novi, just outside of Detroit, was arrested last month for indecent exposure.

While it's always news when a politician is arrested for whipping out his boner (Kim is currently the Oakland County Commissioner-- see above), there is more to this story than simple indecency...

On the morning of April 18th, police respond to a complaint about two people getting randy against a wall near a strip of bars and restaurants in town. Upon arriving, the cops found Capello and a 37-year-old woman having sex in the middle of the sidewalk, with pedestrians passing by and presumably fleeing in horror. It should also be noted that Capello is Republican family man-- he has been married for 21 years to his law partner wife, with whom he shares an office, according to the local news. The couple also have three kids.

Strangely enough, the woman has not been charged with any crime, while her lover faces up to three months in jail when he appears in court next month.

Via ClickOnDetroit.

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This Week in Gayness: Sacha Baron Cohen's Gay Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:59:00 GMT

Is Republican hypocrite Newt Gingrich practicing "gay fascism?"

The Freedom to Marry bill, which would finally bring same-sex marriage to Vermont, was greenlit by the legislature and will likely pass. However, it faces a veto from the state's Governor.

Newsweek asks: "Is gay the new black?" We ask, "What took you so long, Newsweek?"

eHarmony "comes out of the closet" to announce their new gay matchmaking service, Compatible Partners.

Kanye West asks us to never question his manhood. No, the other manhood, silly.

An Australian Catholic priest has been banished from the church for blessing gay couples.

We mentioned in an earlier post that Bruno has received an NC-17 rating after its initial showing at the MPAA. Here's why:

Ratings officials are reportedly concerned over several sexually explicit scenes, including one where Cohen's character engages in what appears to be anal sex with another man. Confirming the rating, a spokesperson for movie studio Universal adds, "On its first submission the film did not receive an R (less restrictive rating), but it is far too early to say that there is any struggle to get there as the process is only at its inception."

As we already knew, the scientific community pretty much unanimously agrees the "ex-gay" thing is fake:

The American Medical Association stated, "Most of the emotional disturbance experienced by gay men and lesbians around their sexual identity is ... due more to a sense of alienation in an unaccepting environment. For this reason, aversion therapy ... is no longer recommended."

The American Academy of Pediatrics warned, "Therapy directed at specifically changing sexual orientation is contraindicated, since it can provoke guilt and anxiety while having little or no potential for achieving changes in orientation."

This Week in Gayness: Aubrey O'Day May Be Gay

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Today in the Apocalypse: 17-Year-Old MADD Volunteer Hosts Quiet Gathering...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:52:00 GMT

Katie Rees, Miss Nevada USA 2007, who was stripped of her crown following this and other "scandalous photos"

Let me tell you something about Hartford, Connecticut, the city, I, Scanner Brian was born in.

Actually, better yet, let's not tell you anything about Hartford, Connecticut, because it would just be a waste of space after you read this story. Anything I tell you about Hartford will be brutally shoved aside after you read about one 17-year-old Miss Connecticut Outstanding Teen, a volunteer with Mothers Against Drunk Dumbasses, decided to do with her Saturday night when her parents went out of town.

If you think it's entertain little orphan boys with stories from award-winning children's authors, well...

Rachael Ramonas competed in the Miss America's Outstanding Teen competition in Florida this past summer, returning home without the ultimate title. Perhaps she was disappointed by her defeat and decided that, instead of continuing to volunteer with MADD, she would stop being an Outstanding Teen the minute her parents left her goody-two-shoes self at home for the weekend.

On Saturday night, cops arrested two dozen underage drinkers at the home of Miss Ramonas. Reports indicate that most of the kids were beyond wasted-- although, since Ramonas is a juvenile, cops can't say whether she was one of them, or even if she was arrested at all. According to this source:

Officers responding to an anonymous call about underage drinking Saturday night found beer, rum and items commonly used for a drinking game called beer pong. [AP News]

Luckily, no one was arrested for DWI's, so there's at least that bit of sanity... although we doubt she could've kept an eye on all 24-plus peeps who had vehicles to make sure they didn't further embarrass her or reveal some sort of "hypocrisy."

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15-Year-Old Boy Arrested For Sex With 13-Year-Old Girl... Guess Who Doesn't Get Arrested?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:15:00 GMT

Arkansas, you have really been on our shit list this week.

First, we find out that you've banned atheists from running for public office, a policy that doesn't pass muster under the watch of the U.S. constitution. But you've never cared about equality, freedom of religion, and justice, have you?

Next, we learn that you arrested a fifteen-year-old boy for filming a "consensual sex act" with a thirteen-year-old female and slapped him (and the cameraboy) with Class-C felonies. What, pray tell, Arkansas, did you do with the thirteen-year-old girl?

Local news stations have given us the answer: the state of Arkansas is doing nothing with the thirteen-year-old girl. Of course, we don't mean to infer that anyone should be arrested in this case-- they are consenting teenagers, leave them alone-- but since both are underage, why not arrest both for corrupting a minor? Is thirteen too young to arrest in Arkansas for a sex crime? If that's true, why is fifteen old enough to send to juvie for the same act?

(The age of consent in Arkansas is 16, and the criminal code states that if the suspect is under 20, they may only be charged with a misdemeanor, if we're reading this right. Of course, they're charged with "employing or consenting to the use of a child in a sexual performance," which gets around the sex law thing a bit.)

In any case, the whole thing stinks. Why can't Arkansas get the big government they hate so much out of our private lives?

Read more here.

Photo via.

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This Week in Gayness: Don't Ask... Just Don't Ask

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:40:00 GMT

Good As You alerted us to Focus on the Family's hilariously awful anti-gay conference in Charlotte. They also put a human face on Jeff Johnston, an "ex-gay" who is obviously not human because it's not possible for anyone to change their sexual orientation.

This guy would be Keith Olbermann's worst person in the world if anyone knew who he was: a gay Minnesota Republican who is against gay rights. Paul Koering will vote against "the Marriage and Family Protection Act, a bill that would make Minnesota's marriage laws gender-neutral, allowing same-sex couples many of the rights currently denied by Minnesota statute."

The roles have been cast and the parents approved of the script. And then a high school principal decided to cancel a student production of Rent due to prostitution and homosexual" content. (There are gay characters, but no prostitution.)

To one Utah Republican, the greatest threat to America is: conspiratorial Chinese economists [no], Osama Bin Laden [no], the gays. 12% of ABC.com readers agree.

A young gay Army vet was killed by another young gay man who appears to have been upset at his own sexuality.

First of all, a guy has to go from being a gay porn star to working at Subway. Worse, he has to endure getting fired from his job at Subway when his previous career choice is discovered. Queers United takes up his case.

While most of the country is still stuck in this ridiculous debate about gay marriage, Massachusetts is trying to implement transgender equality.

And, at last, a straight veteran speaks out in favor of abolishing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and letting gays serve openly.

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Today in WTF: An Iranian Cleric's Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:32:00 GMT

Iranian soap opera star Zahra Ebrahmi (seen at right) has been embroiled in a sex tape scandal for more than two years now, with the controversy threatening her acting career and personal freedom.

However, at long last, another sex tape is poised to knock her out of the headlines, one that is potentially more sensational...

The following video is a clip, unfortunately not a very helpful one, offered up by the Daily Beast, of an Iranian cleric committing adultery on an office floor. (If you can find a better, more complete version, please feed us the link in the comments.)

“Nobody saw you come in, did they?” says the unidentified government employee. “Want to do some Nasnas?” Which is Iranian for "wanna bang?"

According to the Beast, this video was leaked during an investigation into the cleric's sex life-- as you know, having a sex life in the Middle Eastern country is considered "immoral," because that would mean people are free to make their own decisions. We'd like to add that the hidden camera is, we're guessing, part of a scheme to blackmail and/or remove a political rival, as was the recent Atlantic City sex tape.

Whatever the reason, this is just a tease... we want the rest, damn it.

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Republican Ex-Assemblyman, Tough On Sex Offenders, Busted For...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:12:00 GMT

Three guesses as to what Republican Chris Ortloff, a former member of the New York State Assembly, is facing life in prison for...

1) Ortloff served twenty years in the State Legislature before he was appointed to the parole board by Gov. George Pataki, a position he retains to this day.

2) Ortloff discovered the cursed internet, invented by his nemesis Al Gore, and decided he liked it. Well, he liked the part about being able to e-mail (what he thought were) 11 and 12-year-old sisters in hopes of arranging hotel sex.

3) The perv went to a hotel with "condoms, lubricants, a vibrator, and a camera" to capture the illicit sex with the underage girls. Of course, the underage girls were actually cops who were legally allowed to kick his door down and haul his ass downtown, which is exactly what they did.

4) Now Ortloff faces ten years to life in the slammer for his attempted night of sin. He's due back in court today for a bail hearing. Good luck with that-- see you at your first parole board hearing, dumbass!

Via Newsday.

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Gay Community Attacks McCain By Outing His Chief Of Staff

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:59:00 GMT

Is it wrong for the gay community to out a private citizen just because he works for a homphobic Presidential candidate?

Blogger Mike Rogers appeared on Michelangelo Signorile's radio show today to reveal that Mark Buse, Senator McCain's chief-of-staff, goes for the guys.

Why is this a big deal? Well, first and foremost, McCain's running with ardently anti-gay Sarah Palin, a woman who scares us more than killer drag queens from outer space.

We don't blame the gays for being angry about Buse and McCain, but is Buse fair game? He doesn't have a blog, doesn't talk about himself on TV, and pretty much stays in the shadows. So... should he have been outed or not?

(By the way, of course, we know very well that if Obama's chief-of-staff was caught having a gay orgy, the religious right would make sure everybody knew about it. But that's beside the point.)

Via Queerty.

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Sophie Monk Has A KFC Relapse

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:41:00 GMT

Sophie Monk, former Baywatch co-star with/protege of animal rights activist Pamela Anderson, has been busted committing the worst kind of celebrity hypocrisy.

This scandal is so monumental, it would be like seeing Michael Jordan leaving a Foot Locker wearing a pair of Reebok's in 1991. Okay, maybe we're joking around, but check this out: Monk posed nude for PETA in 2007 and said:

"I think the message to KFC eaters (is that) you should think about what you're eating. If you're eating deformed animals that are being induced by hormones, you know, it can not be good for you."

Well, Miss Monk, you appear to have fallen off the wagon. What do you say to Kentucky Fried Chickenshits, those who gobble down god-awful-tasting, god-awful-for-you, god-awful-for-the-world meat from their establishment?

Anyway, when we were going back to being carnivores after brief stints as vegetarians, we never, ever have cravings for KFC. Not even now, years later, would we touch that total garbage. So why would Sophie Monk risk the wrath of a batshit crazy and super-vindictive operate like PETA, just for a drumstick?

Top photo and link via news.com.au. Second photo via the Deceiver.

Missouri Republican Resigns To Spend More Time With Family, Soon Gets Arrested For Sexually Assaulting 14-Year-Old

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:33:00 GMT

We've heard plenty of stories lately of hypocrites in public office being exposed by arrests, lawsuits and/or divorce. None of them can compete with the unsettling, sad, and just plain laughable (not at the victim-- at the numbnuts who are alleged to have committed these) crimes Rep. Scott Muschany, R-Frontenac, was charged with yesterday...

Muschany surprised Missouri politicos by declining to run for re-election following last sessions expiration, citing family reasons. Note that the session ended on May 16. The very next night, Muschany allegedly plied his mistress' 14-year-old daughter with alcohol and sexually assaulted her while his mistress, an employee of state government, watched over them. (Jesus-- guess he wanted to have a sick retirement party.) Let's go over that again: says he's above wanting more power over family obligations, immediately goes out and not only returns to cheating on that wife and family, but rapes an underage girl.

Muschany, 42, was booked into the Cole County Jail today at 2:50 and he was released after posting a $5,000 bond. If convicted, Muschany faces a fine of up to $5,000 and a prison term of up to 7 years.

What the fuck? What is this, Bermuda or Switzerland? Correct us if we're wrong, but this takes place in Missouri... which is in the South... which, in some places, consider heroin possession an automatic lifelong prison sentence and that it's okay to protest the funerals of dead American soldiers as long as they have a religious motive for doing so. SEVEN YEARS? Better yet-- five thousand dollars?! This guy is a greater danger to society than Osama Bin Laden's thermonuclear detonator...

Won't someone think of the children? We're not kidding. What the hell is this?

More from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch story:

The girl’s father told the Post-Dispatch that his daughter told a sibling about the alleged assault a few days after it happened, and the sibling told the father on May 26, the father said. He called the child abuse hotline the next day.

"I believe what my daughter told me," the father said.

The girl’s 17-year-old brother told the Post-Dispatch his mother told him she has known Muschany for about two years and that they had been seeing each other romantically for about a year. The woman is a former House employee who now works in a different department in state government.

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Italian Prime Minister Hides--a Breast of--the Naked Truth Behind His Big Fat Head

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:31:00 GMT

Silvio Berlusconi or someone on his staff has incited bafflement and outrage by retouching (or rather dressing) a painting where he gives press conferences because an exposed breast floats above the prime minister's head "like a halo." What exactly has been done about this boob halo? Now, "an extra fold of clothing has appeared that covers the offending breast."

Come on! We know you're dying to see what was covered up!

That's right, none other than the 18th-century painting "Time Unveiling Truth" by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo. Pretty racy stuff, eh? But we imagine something like this would be right up Berlusconi's alley, considering, as the Guardian points out:

The media mogul and Italy's prime minister made a large part of his fortune televising variety shows packed with scarcely veiled, undulating female flesh. One of the members of his cabinet - the equal opportunities minister, Mara Carfagna - was until just a few years ago a topless model and showgirl on one of his television channels.

Yes, by all means, protect this Berlusconi's image from a floating Renaissance titty. At this point, any false modesty or prudishness would be a pleseant change for a man who--

On welcoming newly elected female MP Mara Carfagna to parliament he joked: "I am obliged to remind you of a rule in the Forza Italia group, the jus primae noctis." (a Latin reference to the medieval "law of the first night" which gave the lord of an estate the right to "deflower" new brides)

Blech. Like most acts of over-the-top censorship, retouching this boob flash will do too little too late for the prime minister's reputation as a sexist moron.

Anti-Gay Alabama Attorney General Busted in Bed With A Man?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:15:00 GMT

Troy King, the Attorney General of Alabama, has been dogged by gay rumors for some time now. The hardcore Republican and foe of gay marriage, who backed McCain early in the primaries, is rumored to be ready to resign after the latest juicy allegations surfaced...

1) Troy "ask[ed] the Legislature to amend the state's anti-obscenity law after a Jefferson County judge ruled this month that part of the law was too vague to force closure of a Hoover store that sells sexual devices."

2) He all but called the Supreme Court terrorists when they dared to overturn the law allowing for the death penalty for child rape. Troy said

"Anybody in this country who cares about children should be outraged ... They are creating a situation where this country is a less safe place to grow up."

Is Alabama Attorney General Troy King referring to terrorists? Street gangs? Pedophiles? No. According to King, the people endangering kids are justices on the U.S. Supreme Court who on Wednesday overturned a Louisiana law that made child rape punishable by death.

3) Then, in the last couple days...

According to rumors flying around for the last week Troy King, [the] rabidly homophobic, anti-sex toy, Sunday School teaching, pro-execution Republican Attorney General [of Alabama] is GAY! And I don't mean that as in happy either. I'd bet he is anything but happy right now. In fact, according to two sources he is about to resign. Also posted here.
Two Alabama bloggers emailed me asking if I had heard the rumor that King Troy's wife caught him in bed with a MAN and kicked him out of the house around the time of the Special Session. Could I confirm it?

4) The male aide, it is believed, is actually his college roommate, who he helped get a job with the state and/or on his staff so they could be closer together. As one source put it: "When Troy's out of town... the [old roommate] goes with." Another version says he's a homecoming king... as in, a recent graduate...

The story then became that the mystery man was a young man who had just graduated from Troy University and was the Homecoming King (no pun intended) (God that gets confusing...Troy King with the homecoming king who graduated from Troy) and that was who the wife walked in on. Then a few weeks later Troy and his boy toy from Troy were spotted at the YMCA (not kidding) engaging in....ummmm....inappropriate activities. Yeah...at the YMCA...made famous by the Village People. Apparently Troy has no inkling of what it means to be 'discreet'.

The YMCA story smells of total elephant shit, although the rest of this (that is-- that Troy was caught in bed with a man by his own wife, then booted from the premises) has been backed up by a variety of sources. However, just to further confuse you, one source claims that the leak on this story came from the Governor's office...

We shall see...

Via Pam's House Blend.

Girlfriend Of Pro-Life Republican Confirms Abortion And Sordid Details

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:10:00 GMT

A couple weeks back, we told you about the Oregon Republican Party's nominee for Congress, Mike Erickson, who allegedly drove his girlfriend to an abortion clinic. Erickson, of course, is running on a staunch pro-Life platform.

Now, his ex has come forward to confirm the rumors... and more damaging details...

[T]he Oregon City woman said she met Erickson in September 2000 and that she had the abortion in January 2001. They saw each other afterward, she said, even going on a trip to Mexico in March, before the relationship ended. She spoke on the condition that only her first name, Tawnya, be used.
Erickson agrees that he gave Tawnya $300 for medical help, and a ride to a doctor's office, but said he didn't know she was pregnant or planned to get an abortion.
Tawnya, now 34, recalled sitting with Erickson that January, parked across from the abortion clinic.

"I asked him, 'Are you sure you don't want a baby?' " she said. "He shook his head. I opened the door, got out bawling and crossed the street and walked up to the clinic."

Erickson... told The Oregonian he didn't remember many details about their relationship, including where they met or when they dated.

This guy is the worst liar ever-- first of all, he actually admits to giving a woman he was just "dating" $300 for medical care, but has no idea what it was for and can't even remember the details of their relationship?

"Did I pay for an abortion? Absolutely not," Erickson said.

"She was having some financial troubles," he said. "She asked for some money to go have a doctor's appointment — not knowing what that was — and whatever happened, happened, I guess. I didn't even know she had an abortion."

We almost laughed out loud about what a pathetic jackass he is, but then realized this ain't funny. Erickson is a creepy and dangerous degenerate, which unfortunately means he will be a perfect fit for the United States Congress. And although he did win a bitter primary, hopefully the Democratic incumbent won't do anything like pledge to increase the abortion rate or take photos of herself hugging Fidel Castro and will emerge victorious.

Via The Seattle Times.

Charlie Crist's "Sex Tape" Could Land Him The Vice-Presidency

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 May 2008 16:56:00 GMT

Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, long rumored to be a closeted homosexual, is about to have his true sexual orientation outed by Nixon dirty trickster Roger Stone, who claims to have video surveillance of the newest "Love Gov" and friend on a late-night elevator ride...

Crist is without a doubt the frontrunner for the Republican Vice Presidential nomination after helping John McCain sneaked past second choice Mitt Romney in Florida. However, he is single and therefore a potential liability to the Family Values party. Here's what Politics1, which broke this story, has to say about this "sex tape":

The video was seemingly staged to kill the rumors that Crist is gay. Stone claims the tape -- which he discussed recently with Politics1, but didn't show to us ("I'm saving it for the national shows") -- "shows Charlie fooling around in a hotel elevator with his girlfriend."
Stone just conveniently happens to have a copy of the hotel's elevator surveillance tape, just when Crist's name is in play for the VP spot. Hmm. As for Crist's purported girlfriend -- [pictured above -- Ed.] presuming it is the same one he took as his date to the White House Correspondents Dinner in DC a few weeks ago -- she's still married (and not to Crist). Disclaimer: Always be skeptical of anything from Stone.

Via Politics1.