Scanner : internet dating

Tommy Lee's Online Ladyfriend

Colleen Kane — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 17:08:00 GMT

Earlier this month, there was a fake profile on a millionaire dating site purporting to be Tommy Lee looking for a girlfriend. As if the guy needs to go online to meet somebody, right? Well, not so fast. Now it seems there's some international intrigue with someone he's never met in real life...

"I love British women and their cute accents. I have lots of lady friends but not anyone making me crazy. There is a girl in London who I’m looking forward to seeing but haven’t met yet, and she is really hot," he said.

"We have been communicating but she lives there and I live in the States. I met her on the internet."

Sounds like Tommy hasn't learned the first rule of dating online. Don't tell the world about someone you've met until after you see them in person.

Related:

Pam And Tommy Lee Back In The Swing Of Things

Tommy Lee's Drunk Pilot Is A Boob

Video: This Kid Needs to Work on His Pitch

Colleen Kane — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:50:00 GMT

Yep, this is about how we remember the pool of candidates in the dating world. Without further ado: "Lookin for a girlfriend."

Don't all knock each other over racing to respond to his offer.

Smiths Speed Dating Really Happened

Times Trend Alert: People Have Sex With People They Know

Mom Tries to Help Her Down's Syndrome Son Score

Colleen Kane — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 19:37:00 GMT

Lucy Baxter is a campaign leader for Down's syndrome rights and member of the Down's Syndrome Association with four adopted Down's syndrome sons. Son Otto is 21, wants to have sex (as evidenced by his quote, "I want to have sex") and so Lucy has helped him set up a Bebo profile to find a girlfriend and achieve his goal.

She doesn't mind if he has to pay for it in Amsterdam.

And that's where it gets a little sketchy. In some quotes, it sounds like Lucy has her heart in the right place.

"Why should these people be kept separate and pigeon-holed when they have the same emotions, desires and feelings as so called 'normal' people. He has the same expectations as everybody else."

But elsewhere it sounds like she might be a little too invested in her son's goal.

"If he doesn't get a girlfriend, I will feel really bad, because I have sold him this thing that he is like everybody else," she said. "That's why I'm working overtime to get this sorted for him."

No pressure for grandkids, Otto! (Oh wait, there is-- Lucy wants grandkids.) Otto has kissed a few ladies so far.

Today in WTF: Virginity Pledges Actually Work?

Virginity Auction: Now How Much Would You Pay?

This is Where Prostitution Might Move Once Kicked Off Craigslist

Colleen Kane — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:01:00 GMT

I saw a commercial for a mating service called Online Booty Call, and at first thought it was a joke. Nope! 'Tis real. It's probably no different from Adult Friend Finder, but still...that name! It's just all right out in the open, isn't it? And to see it advertised on TV was a bit surprising.

A quick visit without joining reveals the above graphic done in Terrence- and- Philip- style animation, Booty Call Commandments, customer testimonials, and rather average-looking members with entertaining poses or user names...

Highlights from the 10 BC Commandments:

"Thou shalt get out before the sun rises."

"Thou shouldest never ask, 'Can we see each other from now on?'"

"There shall be no cuddling-- ever!"

Testimonials:

I met this guy on your site and for the last seven weeks it has been on.

Thanx OBC, I have had three dates in the last two weeks and they just keep getting better and more freaky.

Finally, a few thumbnails of members, including a crazy cat man! At least...looks like a man in the thumbnail...

"Hey there sex E girl" Text Message Haikus for Sarah Hepola

Review: Mail Goggles

While You Were Sleeping: The Trial of Keanu Reeves

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Somebody has been taunted the German police by placing a Muppet over his face when passing speed cameras. (Obviously, this genius neglected to realize the authorities would capture images of his license plate.) The hilarious photo evidence is here.

MTV has posted most of its greatest videos online.

It's possible to find love online, even in your 80s. (Of course, the guy who got lucky on the internet married a woman much younger than him-- unfortunately for you 60+ ladies, even this guy admits he wasn't interested in women his own age.)

Bono's teenage ladyfriend insists they are strictly platonic, although we have to wonder what kind of strange friendship this rock star and his middle-aged buddy would have with two young female models other than the obvious one.

The Rothernberg Political Report now estimates the Democrats will capture 7-9 seats a week from today, putting the magic number ("60") within reach.

There's apparently something called "Farting Dog" and it involves the Jonas Brothers.

A photographer is suing Keanu Reeves for allegedly attempting to run him over with a car. (This is the same asswipe who watched the criminal charges against Keanu get tossed out of court and now is trying the greed route.) Seriously, dude? You get in the way of Keanu's car and you want to cry about being run over? Please go away.

Related:

Britney Spears Is (Almost) Not Completely Repulsive In Her New Video

Isn't It Ironic? Jonas Brothes Lurve Britney Spears

Sloppy Seconds: Are Lindsay and Sam Finally, Really Engaged?

Paris Hilton Punks the Paparazzi

Moonlighting in Porn Development

Hey Single Ladies: Have We Got a Wife-Beating Minister for You!

Emily Farris — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:31:00 GMT

Meet Bishop weeks. He's single (score!). He's a minister (double score!). And he's a wife beater (triple score!).

Ladies, this man is a catch. And he wants to meet you.

A good woman is so hard to find. That's why 40-year-old Bishop Thomas Weeks, who was left by his last wife, televangelist Juanita Bynum, after he, uh, beat her up in a parking lot, has taken to his Web site to find himself a new wife. Preferably one who believes in second chances. In a webisode, Weeks, who is currently on probation, details a few minor requirements for his next wife. She just has to be able to have children, be "very discerning and very intimate and very social and very sensual and all of those other things," plus she can't be ugly. Sign up at bishopweeks.com, ladies!

[Stereohyped: Wife-Beating Minister Is Looking For Love]

[BishopWeeks.com]

Cutie With Big Brown Eyes Seeks Mate for Play or Serious Relationship

Emily Farris — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 19:04:00 GMT

Like many of us, this pretty lady is looking for love online.

Much like the online dating services we humans use (Nerve personals, anyone?), animals kept in captivity are matched with potential mates via online "studbooks."

The databases containing information on sex, age and weight — not so much about favorite foods or long walks on the beach — are used by more than 200 zoos nationally and some internationally.

Now, new software has been developed that promises more easily accessible data, faster matches and — taking a page from human dating sites — details on animals personalities to ease what can be a testy process.

Zoos will not be required to document each animal’s turn-ons and turn-offs in the Zoological Information Management System, a collaboration by about 150 zoos and aquariums that is a year or two away from wide distribution.

We think it's a bad idea to exclude the turn-offs. Once we made clear we were looking for bearded dudes who could spell, online dating got a million times easier. However, if a koala finds love online before we do, we're so giving into the Crazy Cat Lady thing.

[NY Times: Seeking Mates for Furred and Clawed]

This Week in Gayness: E-Harmony Doesn't Want You

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:04:00 GMT

Two lesbian mothers are fighting over custody of thier child; one of them is using an anti-gay law to skewer the court's favor.

This, plus Ewan McGregor, Dita Von Teese, Sally Kern, the anti-gay t-shirt case heads to the Supreme Court, and more... after the jump...

Basically, one woman, Therese Leach, who is not the biological mother of "her" son, is arguing in an Ohio court that a 2001 court-approved agreement between her and her son's mother should be upheld, regardless of the fact that the state passed an anti-gay marriage amendment in January 2005. Lamda Legal, who is defending Ms. Leach, argues that the agreement should not be invalidated merely because gays are not allowed to marry in Ohio. We say to anti-gay activists: "Is this what you intended when your bigoted law was passed? Taxpayer dollars going to waste over a silly fight like this?"

These activists, mainly Christians, should take the words of Wendy Gritter, director of the Christian group New Direction, to their ever-loving hearts:

"I believe we have a long way to go to eradicate hateful and homophobic environments and responses in the Christian community. We have a long way to go to demolish the pervasive hierarchy of sin. And we have a long way to go to counter-act the perpetual sense of shame that many experience due to the reality of their same-gender attraction." [Religious Left]

While we seriously doubt the Bush-approved Supreme Court will do a damn thing in the way of fighting these nutjobs if this case ever turns up on their docket, maybe the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals will see the light:

Attorneys for a student who was punished by Poway High School officials for wearing an anti-gay T-shirt to school are asking a federal appeals court to declare unconstitutional a school policy against offensive speech under which the student was punished. [Gay.blogspot.com]

The problem here is that, while big supporters of every aspect of free speech, in this case, schools are guaranteed by law (and many, many previous court rulings) the right to ask students to remove any items that are distracting to the learning environment. We wholeheartedly support that policy-- although in case like this, we're admittedly biased. (Let's fight these douche's any way we can.)

And although we support the gay community and its right to simply be left alone, we kind of relate to the issue here:

Gay naturists have been granted their own swimming sessions at a public baths – to the fury of families who also use the pool. Several parents have withdrawn their children from lessons there. The gay naturist group, Naked Swim, books the pool and saunas one night every week. [Gay News]

Remember when we said we could kind of relate? We were fucking with you. Would these same people, if faced with an all-black nude swimming session, raise such a fuss? (This is England, not Tennessee, mind you.)

A thousand people with too much time on their hands rallied for Supreme Assface Sally Kern this week. Forget Iran, our next war may be a civil one.

Anybody watch Australian Gladiators? You mean they're multiplying?

E-Harmony, as has been long rumored, hates LGBTs.

And Chelsea Clinton has been seen at various gay bars, courting the queer vote for her she-swears-she's-not-mama. Wouldn't that be great if Chelsea came out during the general election? McCain would win by 200 points.

Previously: Dita Von Teese and Ewan McGregor

Wikipedia Dumping Story Gets Even Weirder

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:50:00 GMT

Jimmy Wales, the socialite co-founder of Wikipedia, dumped girlfriend, Canadian neoconservative TV personality Rachel Marsden, via Wikipedia entry. But the story just gets more and more absurd, to the point where every twist and turn is sure to be a "disputed" and possibly "removed" entry one day...

First, a quick rundown of the facts and the rumors:

1) Jimmy met Rachel via the interwebs when her Wikipedia entry became a battleground for her supporters and detractors.

2) Valleywag claims Jimmy told Rachel, via IM, that he had to finish cleaning up her page before they got naked: "Because the last thing I want to do is take a break from f***ing your brains out all night to work on your Wikipedia entry :)"

3) After their first conjugal visit, the two exchanged these gag-inducing messages:

Wales: "I am supposed to be designing a Google-killing search engine so I can buy a jet."

Marsden replied: "Yes!!! So we have something else to have sex on!"

4) They continued pursuing each other, again via IM:

“btw, i am recovered from 24 hours of marathon sex. lol.”

“When you talk about megabits and broadband, you have no idea what that does to me.”

5) Now it's weeks later and Jimmy dumps her via Wikipedia entry, now since moved to his personal blog. Traffic much? According to the Sydney Morning Herald:

Marsden told The Canadian Press that "[i]t didn't really help matters that Jimmy chose to announce the breakup to the entire world via Wikipedia."

6) A scorned woman, i.e. Rachel, posted the following e-bay auction of Jimmy's clothes:

Both of these items have been washed, twice, with Tide extra-strength liquid detergent. Otherwise, they would not be in salable condition. I took them out of GitMo style isolation from a plastic bag in my closet (where they were placed to prevent the ongoing terrorism of my olfactory senses) and washed them out for the purposes of this auction.

7) As of "press time," the sweater has a high bid of $857.47. The bidder? "s***t."

Crazy Blind Date Might Be Better if You're Actually Crazy and Blind

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 18:30:00 GMT

Are you tired of Internet dating with all the poking, and emailing flirting, and Google stalking? Do you long to hurl yourself headfirst into the unknown for a good old-fashioned blind date with someone whose face you've never seen? Have we got the dating site for you. CrazyBlindDate.com was developed by the same people who brought you OK Cupid. If you're in Austin, Boston, San Francisco, or New York City you can be set up on a last minute, blind date with someone you've never even seen a picture of. It's free and you can even bring a friend and turn it a double date. All this without ever setting foot in the elimiDATE van.

Because Internet Dating Isn't Quite Judgmental Enough

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 18:23:00 GMT

For those of you who thought you had the system beat with your airbrushed Nerve Personals profile photo and your best friend's voice on your audio greeting, get ready to lose some of that wind from your sails. Turns out the next big thing in Internet love-finding is the last big thing in Internet love-making: the webcam. The New York Times fills us in on the fairly new phenomenon of webcam speed dating, wherein hopefuls sign up with websites like WooMe.com. and SpeedDate.com in order to skip all that annoying blind correspondence and get straight to the point: Hot or Not? According to the Times:

After each Web meeting, WooMe asks users to select either “I’m Wooed” or “No thanks” for the person they just met. They can also leave one-word “tags” describing the person.

Speed dating and webcams, sounds like a great Saturday night. Tell mom we definitely won't make it over for dinner this week.