Scanner : jamie lee curtis

Hot or Not: Heidi Klum Topless in Esquire

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:41:00 GMT

Okay, there really isn't much question on this one, is there? We were kind of kidding about the "hot or not" part just to make you click.

In our latest installment of hot topless women on the covers of American magazines, we have Heidi Klum in Esquire. Unfortunately, we are sick to death of all reality shows and, in particular, reality show hosts. Especially ones that are married to Seal, whom we dislike for that song of his we hear every time we're in C-Town with a hangover.

In any case, fans must wonder why these photos are going up online now-- perhaps to celebrate Project Runway's move to-- gulp-- the Lifetime Television Network? Well, if this is the new look of Lifetime, we may finally stop for more than four seconds when we get to it...

The rest of the photos by Rankin are archived here in a blog post from over the weekend.

These were mainly unavailable online until then, so so what if the original Esquire feature is two years old? You want us to take these down? We thought not.

And don't forget to vote in our Who Would You Rather? poll, featuring two other reality show stars...

Scanner Highs and Lows: It's All About You, And Boobs

Emily Farris — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:13:00 GMT

We like to think that in addition to showing you pictures of boobs, we're doing a public service here at Scanner. We want you to get dates and have sex and look at great pictures... of many things.

Highs:

The UCLA Undie Run, of course.

Helen Mirren "promotes healthy nudity." Yes she does.

We found out you'd rather watch Kristen Davis' sex tape than Lindsay Lohan's.

And you'd probably still do Jamie Lee Curtis, even at 50.

Scanner Emily found her reason for living. And yes, it has a beard.

We learned what angels sound like when they masturbate.

We learned we're pretty great at Photoshopping. Don't you think?

We want you to draw pictures of prostitutes.

We tried to help Internet geeks get women in the real world, too.

We found out we might be totally normal for liking to sniff our partners' underarms.

Lows:

We experienced some weddings from Hell.

We don't really dig Miss Bimbo. Which probably makes us feminazis.

We admitted to loving Julia Allison and "Men in Trees."

We're a little ashamed that these kids who celebrated the end of their term with a giant orgy are our heroes.

Live Links commercial: a low for Evangeline Lilly, a high for those of us hating on Kate right now.

South Park just didn't come through with the boobage.

They did, however, kill Britney Spears. And we laughed at it.

Amy Winehouse's face scared us. Almost as much as this baby doll did.

Image via pacificdave.com

Hot Or Not: Jamie Lee Curtis: The Results

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:30:00 GMT

The responses ranged from "I'd do HER mother" to "JLC is embarrassing herself" and even "hottest hermaphrodite ever." After all the bickering and politically correct insults, we have the answer to this very important question.

It seems to us that if a woman is so hot that a commentor would vow to do the woman's dead mother, I think we have a clear majority on the question of whether or not said woman is hot. Among the highlights:

She's gorgeous. Still. Look at the life in her eyes! I don't think she's embarrassing herself at all. By insisting on foregoing the usual Photoshop treatment, and wearing no makeup, etc. she's showing off the fact that you can have the more imperfect body of a 50-year-old and still be hot. I'd do her. Absolutely. - naneaux

Others disagreed:

I'll be the honest politically-incorrect one. Let's be honest here. Youth=beauty and that is that. When one gets older one needs to find OTHER things to live for. - newconmetalhead

Others agreed and disagred:

I'm a guy, and we're ALL pigs. So, would I do her? Hell yeah. Would she make even my top 5000? Not a chance. - Cjet

Result:

We'd do her. Although maybe not without the Photoshopping...

And before we get to an appetizing picture to reward you for your participation, we'd like to make a correction and apologize to reader Moz, an employee of AARP: we were fully aware that your organization is no longer refered to by its full name (an attempt to rope in the under-retiree set), but it makes for a much funnier opening line: "Jamie Lee Curtis is celebrating turning fifty by appearing topless on the cover of the American Association of Retired Persons Magazine?!" Dig? Okay, without further ado...

Previously: Hot Or Not: Jamie Lee Curtis

Hot or Not: Jamie Lee Curtis At 50

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Jamie Lee Curtis is celebrating her fiftieth birthday by going topless for... the American Association of Retired Persons magazine?!

We thought maybe it was in honor of the upcoming 25th anniversary of her nude scene in Trading Places...

...but no matter: she's possibly even hotter now. In any case, whenever JLC shows some skin, we'll be there, even if it's in a magazine geared to senior citizens and there are no nipples to be seen.

As the wife of mockumentarian Christopher Guest tells the magazine in an interview published today, "If I can challenge the old ideas about aging, I will feel more and more invigorated." Well, the photos of a non-doctored Curtis with her natural hair color are certainly challenging our immature ideas about what fifty-year-old women can inspire in us.

One more thing: ABC News points out that for Curtis's 2002 profile in MORE, the actress posed without the aid of makeup artists, stylists, trick lighting, or agreeing to have her thirty-year-old face Photoshopped in:

The resulting photos showed Curtis as more middle-aged mom than glamour queen — complete with a sagging belly and chunky thighs.

Is it sexy for a woman to show it all, even if all means some features that could be considered turnoffs?

[Top Photo: Associated Press; Middle Photo: MORE Magazine]