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Protests Against Rape Simulation Game Bewilder Its Japanese Manufacturer

Colleen Kane — Tue, 12 May 2009 13:33:00 GMT

The uproar over the Japanese rape simulation game RapeLay, which we covered in February, has made its way to the manufacturer Illusion, and spokesman Makoto Nakaoka is rather baffled by the reaction. This week the New York- based Equality Now launched a campaign against the game and "the normalization of sexual violence in Japan," citing Japan's obligation to the 1985 Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women.

To recap, RapeLay awards extra points for stalking women, raping virgins and their mothers, impregnating rape victims, and forcing them to get abortions.

What's not to love about that, right Makoto?

Here's what he had to say in response to the protests.

"We are simply bewildered by the move...We make the games for the domestic market and abide by laws here," he said. "We cannot possibly comment on (the campaign) because we don't sell them overseas."

That may be true now, but it wasn't last February, when the game was being sold internationally on Amazon.com. (It has since been pulled.)

Japan has previously been under fire for not banning the posession of child pornography, although the production and sale of such was banned in 1999.

There is a gender equality bureau which recognizes a problem is there. "The office is currently studying what can be done," a spokeswoman said.

They might want to get on that a little faster.

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Today in WTF: Crying Japanese Sumo Baby Contest

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 May 2009 21:32:00 GMT

We'd heard about this from friends of ours that had lived in Japan, but we couldn't imagine it was an annual event... or that it took place in multiple cities, with throngs of onlookers actually enjoying babies crying at deafening volumes.

Thankfully, LiveLeak has video to go with our story...

The festival translates as "Baby Cry-sumo" and participants are sat facing each other on tiny wrestling mats, then given some a reason to cry about it. The baby that cries the loudest is declared the winner and is considered blessed with health and happiness. Or something.

What weirded us out the most is all the laughing, smiling locals and tourists standing around the screamfest. How the hell can they stand all that? When we're in a restaurant with these monsters, we ask to move to another table, preferably by the kitchen, where the chef's screaming usually drowns out all others and bring us the health and happiness we were seeking.

Is this child abuse or the next Fox reality show, starring fat white Americans? Unfortunately, we'd guess both.

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We Missed Out on National Penis Day 2009

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 May 2009 18:22:00 GMT

Damn it, tipsters, you're supposed to keep an eye out for all the bizarre news coming out of Japan. It's no easy task, we'll admit, since the rate of crazy news to "Beavers Build Dam in Creek"-type boring news is probably 50,000-to-1. But those of you pervs who scour the pages of various websites looking for words like "peen" and "wangs" to amuse yourselves should have caught this one...

Culled from various reports:

National Penis Day. Also called Hounen Matsuri.

When I asked a Japanese friend of mine why we don't deserve one here in the United States, he told me, in America, they call them Politicians instead of a Penis. It figures.

Every year a new wooden phallus is carved from a cypress tree that has been purified. The newly carved phallus will then be the main focus of the procession that at its end will be placed into a shrine.

Thought to be benefical by by many Japanese and obscene by many Westerners, Hounen Matsuri is held on March 15th every year in the small town of Komaki, which is just outside of Nagoya.

This Hounen festival and ceremony, which has been going on for around 1500 years, celebrate the blessings of a bountiful harvest and all manner of prosperity and fertility and the all are welcome.

Here's a link to some of the more bizarre photos... or check out our favorites below:

On top of that, we also missed the more-recent National Penis Day in New Zealand, which is much less "National" and more like "radio station gimmick." It turns out a DJ tried to raise awareness/money for charity by having naked people strip in public and form phallic symbols.

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Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:59:00 GMT

This Mom threw such a hardcore kegger for her son and his friends that the cops found the air at her residence was running a .03 alcohol level.

The members of the Atlanta band The Black Lips are lucky to not be rotting in an Indian prison.

The truth about Joaquin Phoenix should have been obvious to everyone: he was in character for a mockumentary by Casey Affleck.

Buy an LCD TV instead of a plasma one, if you care about the environment.

The post office is considering cutting one day of service if its budgetary demands go unmet. It's time Netflix started its own shipping company and took over the world...

The A-Team really is going to be a movie. Boycott all remakes!

Someone should do a 90-minute documentary on what goes on when these cops strike for an hour-and-a-half.

Let's all get jobs at Canon in Japan so we can receive work-sanctioned early release for sex.

And Meryl Streep told Alec Baldwin she'll do 30 Rock, yay!

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Thousands of Naked Japanese Men Reach For the Big Stick

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 21:12:00 GMT

In Saidaiji, Japan, the local men are forming groups consisting of loincloth-wearing friends and practicing chants in their garages. No, they aren't starting an Old School-style adult fraternity. They are gearing up for the annual Naked Man Festival, which is both better and more disappointing than its name applies.

After the jump: "Hadaka ni narimashou!" Which roughly translates to, "Let's get naked!"

According to one travel website, the festival reaches its climax at 11:59 on a cold February eve:

As midnight nears, the outside lights are cut off leaving just a yellow glow inside the temple showing hundreds of men in their white fundoshi, stretching their arms up to the Gods, waiting for the shingi to be dropped. [Via]

What is the shingi? It's a piece of wood that is supposed to bring the catcher, as well as his teammates, good luck for one year. In other words, thousands of naked men, crammed together in near darkness, wait breathlessly for a giant boner to be thrown their way. Hmmm...

There is a reason why it is called the naked man festival.

The man designated the “Spirit Man” is actually completely naked. There is a ritual performed prior to the start of the actual festival when he is stripped naked and completely shaven of ALL bodily hair. His task is to then walk from one end of the street to the shrine at the opposite end.

Of course to get there, he has to make his way through all that mass of other men in fundoshi (loin cloth) who are tossing water, possibly drunk from all that sake, and all struggling to touch the Spirit Man for good luck. So somewhere in that mass is one lone naked man being grabbed by a bunch of other men.

So yes, OMG, this is soooo gay is right. LOL. [Via]

Whatever. Just send us the hilarious video from this year's event, guys.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 21:53:00 GMT

The awesome sounding Ghostbusters game, featuring the original cast and creators, will be out in 2009, thanks to Atari, who rescued the franchise.

A heartbreaking post from a lesbian mom in California is here. Madonna, meanwhile, attacked Prop 8 in an LA concert and had Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake perform live with her, albeit at separate times.

A male major in the Japanese air force was busted for shopping for women's underwear... while naked.

Kanye West broke his media silence to give an interview in Singapore about what the Beatles mean to him.

Race was not a factor in the election in West Virginia. Take that, Bill Clinton!

Samantha Who star Christina Applegate will undergo reconstructive surgery following her double mastectomy.

Michelle Monaghan gave birth to a wee lil' gal.

And Craigslist will no charge $10 per erotic service ad, in an apparent attempt to crush the human trafficking that's been going on there.

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While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Wants To Be Used... For Her Brain

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:08:00 GMT

The guy who ate the last mango in Paris passed away in Key West. (By the way, to get the song out of your head, listen to it here.)

See, raising a public stink does send the right message sometimes: a baby born in India to a surrogate mother was allowed to leave with her Japanese father, even though the law says her mother was supposed to accompany here.

Guess who helped Ryan Reynolds at the New York City Marathon? And no, it wasn't Scarlett Johansson...

"(During the race) I thought a lot about my father [who had Parkinson's] and Michael and the 500,000 other people afflicted with this awful disease in the United States alone. I ran for those who can't...

"When I saw Michael J. Fox on Fifth Avenue, I gained about 15 pounds in goose bumps. It kind of pushed me through the last six miles or so."

It's possible a man with the last name of Kennedy could have just set George W. Bush's public disgrace in motion...

A judge has ordered the Justice Department to produce White House memos that provide the legal basis for the Bush administration's post-Sept. 11 warrantless wiretapping program.
U.S. District Judge Henry Kennedy Jr. signed an order Friday requiring the department to produce the memos by the White House legal counsel's office by Nov. 17. He said he will review the memos in private to determine if any information can be released publicly without violating attorney-client privilege or jeopardizing national security.

Kennedy issued his order in response to lawsuits by civil liberties groups in 2005 after news reports disclosed the wiretapping.

Paris Hilton says men used her for sex. That's just not true, dear, we love you for your brilliant intellect.

Circuit City is going to close more than 150 stores, rumor has it.

The more we hear about Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno movie, the better it sounds. Check out where he ended up yesterday. By the way, the above photo is of Governor Ahnuld getting accosted by Bruno and the Bruno film crew: some say it was staged for the film, which is entirely possible, although Schwarzenneger has not made a cameo in years. We, however, want to remind you that the Governor of California could never act well enough to make the above, very-convincing "distress face" on cue...

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The Funniest Craigslist Personal Ever?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:49:00 GMT

This had better be a fake, dude...

From the Toronto Craigslist's m4w section comes the personal ad of the century. This guy must've received hundreds of responses-- yeah, from guys playing a joke on him...

Check out his ad, titled

"INTELLIGENT, cultured, 22y/o wm seeking Asian women (pref. Nihonese)"

(really, no need to read further, especially after he capitalizes "intelligent.")

Hello ladies of the internet! [Translation: Hello Nerve readers making fun of me!]
I am here today, as are you, to find the love of my life ideally. Now, I am an introspective and reflective man so over my life I've come to realise exactly what I'm looking for in my ideal woman.

Personally, I am 22 years old, my name is Perseus, I am attending U of T in the final year of my Engineering degree, and I am a little on the chubby side. I am a dedicated Green party voter and staunchly opposed to the Conversative hordes dashing themselves against the impregnable Liberal/NDP/Green keep of our fine enlightened city. I am fond of discussing philosophy and the meaning of life over a glass of wine in the 'even. (Honestly, we had no idea people refer to nighttime hours as "the 'even.") As hobbies go, I am an avid gamer and enjoy delving into the myriad artistic realities of animé (the origin of my affinity for Asian culture, which is frankly superior).

Really, that whole last sentence is redundant-- we figured out hours ago you were an "avid gamer," probably somewhere around the word "Asian" in your headline.

You MUST fulfill the following requirements:
- Asian
- Woman
- Aged NO MORE THAN 23
- - and NO LESS THAN 16
- Petite build. Ideally no more than 115 lbs.
- - but no 'Paris Hilton' bulimics please! I like my women with some meat on them. [Trying... not to die... laughing...]
- Like sushi, animé, and video games.

BONUSES include:
- Japanese heritage [As if you weren't picky enough already, guy]
- Large collection of animé and manga [...reducing the list of available women who meet these guidelines to zero]
- Glasses [sort of factored in if you're into manga and video games]
- Interest in cosplay and roleplaying [why do we get the feeling his idea of roleplaying is different from ours?]
- Traditional Ladies' education [What, like Miss Porter's School For Girls?!]

Let us reiterate: this has to be a fake. If it's not, whoever whipped it up is sharper than any writer for Saturday Night Live, especially for their brilliant inclusion of the following photo with the ad:

I must stress again that this is for a SERIOUS, long term relationship. Not some 'fling' as though I were a boy toy to be tossed aside.

Hey, Pegasus or whatever your name is: if you're out there, let us know how it's going... in the non-computer generated world, of course...

Via Craigslist.

What's It Like Having Strangers Eat Off Your Naked Body?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:10:00 GMT

Melanie Berliet, a former Wall Street stock trader, wrote a piece for this month's Vanity Fair about her one-off role as a naked sushi model.

Strangely, she doesn't worry about rank fish, groping hands, or ending up in some bizarre Requiem For A Dream party scene outtake; rather, her worry has to do with a part of her body most men never notice. (Hint: ladies, men don't care about your shoes.)

From Melanie's own mouth, following her experience on the New York naked sushi circuit:

I glanced at my feet and saw that I needed a pedicure. Badly. People were about to be eating off me and I hadn’t done them the courtesy of getting my toes done.

With a series of frenzied hand motions, she directed me to strip, tape the shells to my nipples, then secure the thong to my sides and butt. There was no time to be bashful, and I quickly grasped that my body was not my own for the next few hours. It was a commodity I’d loaned to Koko. I wondered if this was how strippers feel. Detached. Robotic. At work.

Yep. That's pretty much how strippers feel... except you forgot the occasional bonus feeling: "sticky."

The next moments proved to be intensely erotic, oddly enough, as Koko flittted daintily around the table, decorating me with scarves, bright pink flowers, and the fans that would serve as trays for the sushi, sashimi, and shumai. Never before had I felt like a piece of art.
As the men got drunker, their timidity vanished. Chopsticks flashed above me as they navigated the buffet, taking their dinner from my curves and crevices. Through it all, Koko sped gracefully in and out of the room to replace the small trays of fish.

For an hour and a half I laid there, while the men surrounding me drank and ate and stared, and sometimes poked at my bare body.

90 minutes? To eat sushi? Man, these guys are really lame... at least they gave her $150 in tips so, as she puts it, she can get the extra therapy she will most certainly need...

Read her full story here. Image and story via Vanity Fair.

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Going to Japan? Don't Forget Your Parasol and Pink Wig.

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:17:00 GMT

We've just learned about another extremely strange fashion trend in Japan: Gothic-Lolita.

Serious, what the shit is this? Apparently it involves a lot of bows.

Thankfully, Reuters has taken the time to deliver us from our own ignorance by explaining the trend in more detail.

According to 24-year-old, part-time worker Eriko Enokizome, "Lolita is my basic needs. Without Lolita, I cannot be myself so I'm extremely glad that I found Lolita fashion."

Hmmm. OK. What else?

"Gothic-Lolita fashion is like that special magic that allows me to become a different character," said 25-year-old businesswoman Chizuru Matsuda.

"It's been eight years since I discovered this fashion, but it took me two years to actually complete my overall style."

Right. Still have no goddamn clue what is going on. But that's cool. Who needs logical explanations of fashion trends when you've got coordinated ruffles!

2008: The Year In Which We Lose Two Minutes of Glorious Hot Dog Eating Heaven

Emily Farris — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:57:00 GMT

Is anyone else as obsessed with the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest as we are? We'd recognize the name Kobayashi before we'd recognize any professional athlete (except for Albert Pujols, who we're way too proud to say we went to high school with). This is probably because — as far as we're concerned — hot dog eating is the greatest sport in the world. Seriously, what's better than watching a tiny Japanese man eat 54 hot dogs in twelve minutes?

So imagine our dismay when we learned that the happiest twelve voyeuristic minutes of our lives will be cut down to ten.

That's right, kids. The Nathan's Hotdog Eating Contest, held every 4th of July at Coney Island and broadcast on ESPN, will be cut down to ten minutes this year.

Is this Nathan's fighting the good fight against America's obesity epidemic? Or reacting to the recession by being stingy with a few sticks of beef and a bag of buns?

No, no. The folks who run the contest uncovered an old New York Times article stating that the competition was once ten minutes long, so they're changing the format. Pretty lame, right?

So, will you, like us, lament the loss of the glorious gluttony?

[Major League Eating via The Brooklyn Paper]

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