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RNC Candidate Produces "Barack the Magic Negro" Song

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 18:02:00 GMT

If you think the historic and decisive victory of Barack Obama has dealt a death blow to this country's racial intolerance, you're going to want to see this...

Chip Saltsman, the genius who turned Mike Huckabee's win in the Iowa caucus to a triumphant defeat down the road, is running to be the head of the Republican National Committee. Since, as is the case with Sarah Palin, the vilest candidate should win here and, with the unfunny "parody" song he handed out to colleagues at Christmas and the huge uproar over the weekend, we would peg him as the new front runner for the job.

Here's a video someone made set to the song. Our second favorite, way less amusing, is here. There's nothing to say here except these people are incredibly sad... just sad...

...with caveats: 1) The video opens with Paul Shanklin, an Al Sharpton impersonator (more like "mocker"), letting everyone know this is closed captioned for the "thinking impared." Yes, that's how he spelled it. Oh, and there are no captions in the video whatsoever. 2) Even if the rest of the ignorant lyrics fail to turn you off, just keep reminding yourself that Saltsman is white and the use of the word "Negro," his defenders argue, is completely acceptable because he's "being funny." 3) The smack-yourself-in-the-forehead break in the song, which either Saltsman or Shanklin use to claim that people vote for Obama because "this is about justice"-- as if those tens of millions of votes were all because people feel sorry for the Civil Rights Era (yeah, tell that to the Jesse Jackson '84 and '88 campaigns, and to George Bush, who would be relieved to know it had nothing to do with him.

If the video gets pulled (it has been once already), please email us at scanner@nerve.com and we'll get another version up immediately.

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While You Were Sleeping: Obama's Replacement

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:56:00 GMT

A 22-year-old became the youngest-ever World Series of Poker champ.

There will be (yet) another Cheech & Chong movie.

Check out this bizarre photo of Stephen Baldwin and Miley Cyrus... is the tattoo we've heard about real?!

Apparently so:

Talk about random...Miley Cyrus, along with Justin Gaston and her mom, hit a Christian bookstore last night in Tennessee for Stephen Baldwin's book signing. One word: why?

"I'm not exactly sure," her rep said, who's apparently as mystified as we are by this surprise showing. "I know they're friends of the Baldwins."

Stephen showed off an "HM" tattoo on his upper bicep that reportedly stands for Hannah Montana, Miley's hit Disney show. The story is that Miley dared him to get the tat, in exchange for a cameo on her show. [E!]

Tammy Duckworth, who lost 2006 bid for Congress, trails Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. in a public opinion poll that asked who should replace Obama in the Senate. Of course, these polls don't matter, since it's up to the Governor, but interesting nonetheless.

And Jennifer Aniston puts Angelina Jolie in her place-- not without cause, we may add.

Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton Expands the Family Empire to Include Brothels

Is 'Page Six' on Miley Cyrus Skank Watch?

Sloppy Seconds: Somebody Should Tell Miley Cyrus She's a Big Girl Now

Leryn Franco Makes Up For Missing Out On The Whole "Nude Olympians Craze"

Say What? Lindsay Lohan Uses The C-Word On Obama

Last Night In Glorious Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:45:00 GMT

We don't need to write a word of commentary for these photos.

Just sit back and relish sweet, sweet victory...

We'll break our silence to add only one thing: according to WNYC, whose photographer took the taxi photo, the guy jumped on the taxi in the middle of traffic and the drive kept driving for several minutes, honking all the way. New York City's best night ever, hands down.

Some of these via Flickr: Obama family, WNYC, and cell phones.

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While You Were Sleeping: Kate Moss Doing Nude Orgy For Music Video

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:18:00 GMT

The Dalai Lama is too exhausted for a world tour-- even a world tour that involves medical testing.

The first woman to ever face bigamy charges in Kentucky is on the run. Warning: do not marry this crazy nutjob.

Led Zeppelin have returned to the studio! Oh, but there's a small catch...

Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham have been working on new material - without frontman Robert Plant.
Drummer Bonham... admits the new songs could be destined for a new Led Zeppelin album...

He says, "At the moment, all I know is I have the great pleasure to go and jam with the two guys and start work on some material. When I get there (in the studio) I never ask any questions..." [Starpulse]

Dr. Dre's son died over the weekend.

Madonna compares McCain to Hitler in her new in-concert video.

The Game stepped up the rap community's attacks on Jesse Jackson.

Yes, you read that headline right: Kate Moss' boyfriend is in a band called We Are (Not) Sex People, known for their terrible name. The lead singer says that Moss will appear, in the buff but filmed discreetly, in the middle of an orgy in a brothel:

Frontman Dan Summers commented: "Jamie [Hince, Moss's boyfriend] has nothing to worry about but there will be lots of nudity.

"Kate will play a sexy, young version of Cynthia [Payne, a famous London madam.] And we’d all give our right ears to be that bunny rabbit she fools around with."

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Why Did Jesse Jackson Attack Obama?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:16:00 GMT

Why did Jesse Jackson break the rules that you don't attack your party's nominee with a nasty remark about Barack Obama?

Turns out, he was merely venting during a commercial interruption that he thought wasn't being broadcast/recorded.

During a break from taping "Fox & Friends" on Sunday, a fellow guest asked Jackson about speeches on morality Obama has given at black churches. Jackson said at a news conference Wednesday that he responded that Obama's speeches can come off as speaking down to black people and that there were other important issues to be addressed, such as unemployment, the mortgage crisis and the number of blacks in prison.
In September, The State newspaper in South Carolina reported that Jackson had said Obama was "acting like he's white" in his response to the arrest of six black juveniles in Jena, La. Jackson disputed the quote.

While we agreed that Obama should have shown more guts during the days of the Jena Six, we know that Obama isn't going to make everyone happy. There will always be people who want him to do everything for the country and do it all at once. This is unrealistic-- he only has so much time to win over middle-class voters, the centrists who make up "the swing vote." He can't spend all his time talking about one group's problems or what he will do for that one group while in office. Jackson, who would've never made these comments on the record, knows this-- he immediately apologized and pledged his continuing, unwavering support for Obama '08.

The real question is whether this division in the black community will come to the surface-- will more prominent members accuse Obama of "talking white," etc., and turn off previously energized African-Americans? Most pundits argue that it's actually Jackson that looks bad, whereas Obama comes off like a weird cousin of Bill Clinton following Clinton's attacks on Sistah Souljah:

"It will, be damaging to Jesse Jackson, particularly among African-American who are not going to forget what he said. Barack Obama is a unique figure; he is an African-American candidate for president. But he doesn't come out of the civil rights movement like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. There could be some resentment because of that. Maybe they feel he should be more deferential to them, pay more respect to his elders" [CNN]

Via Hotline on Call and the AP.