Scanner : jesus christ the exclamatory

As If I Haven't Pissed Off EVERY Christian Reader of This Site...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:13:00 GMT

In no way is this an attempt to alienate our Christian readers.

This falls under "Today in WTF," in the sense that we don't entirely appreciate the sentiment of this, the Inflatable Jesus Sex Doll. In fact, my gut reaction is that it goes far beyond satire and into pointless offensiveness-- which I'm guilty of on a daily basis, but that's another post.

I warn Christian readers that you are going to hate this thing-- but, as with the racist Obama cookies and other insulting garbage we've posted, just because it's here, it doesn't mean anyone condones it:

If the photo is too small to read all the fine print, click on it for a new tab/window and enlarge it there.

The comments on this site which rightly calls this goofy flyer "sacrilegious," make it almost worth having witnessed those images:

If this doll charged by the hour would it be a ” Profit-stitute? “
Oh cum all ye faithful
I am not usually such a prude, but this totally crosses the line. I mean the “suck your own D” and “check out my a**hole” poses are just gross.
WOW , simply WOW, too bad it wasnt a mohammad doll though because then when philly gets wrecked we couldve been rid of the phillies and eagles
Before you get to hell, I will have warmed up the sauna for you.

It should be pointed out that a search for the company that supposedly manufactures this only turns up more copies of this photo. Oh well...

Related:

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Christian Gay Porn Star Going to Hell, But First Will Be Really Really Internet-Famous

Crazy "Opposite Marriage" Lady Strikes Back

Candidate for Gov. of GA Admits to Having Sex... with a Mule

Apparently, Florida Doesn't Want You to Learn How to Have Great Sex

Jesus Died For Somebody's Sins, But Not Mine

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 18:26:00 GMT

This video has been making the rounds today. We love it because we love anything that exposes religion for the ridiculous waste of time we know it to be.

Agree or disagree, you have to wonder why Jesus didn't turn deserts into fertile farm land. Or why God is such a jackass with an amusing accent. (By the way, another Biblical highlight from today's blogs.)

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: TGIGF for @JesusChrist

Sex Ed Class Enjoys Naked Man Parade

James Carville's Jesus Complex & Judas Penis

Katie Halper — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:31:00 GMT

James Carville accused Bill "Hot When Bearded" Richardson of betrayal of biblical proportions, saying "Mr. Richardson's endorsement [of Obama] came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out (Jesus) for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic." The irony, of course, is that Carville commits betrayal of biblical proportions every time he biblically "gets to know" his wife.

Nobody shows us that politics makes strange bedfellows, literally, and figuratively, more than Democratic Spin Doctor Clintonite Jim Carville and Mary Matalin, his Republican Spin Doctor Bushie wife. The Carville-Matlin duo deserve our bipartisan praise for overcoming their ideological differences through pure unadulterated sexual chemistry.

Let’s be honest, people, who among us could resist her beady eyes, and almost invisible lips, and his smooth cranium and teasingly tinted glasses. But if Richardson's getting behind Obama makes him a Judas, what does Carville's getting behind Mary make him? Does Carville feel the holy spirit slip out of his soul when he slips out of his blue pajamas, slips off Mary's red teddy and enters her land of Cain? Does Carville tell himself it's the devil that is making him take off his donkey briefs and pull off her elephant thong? Is the Satanic serpent tricking the Carvillian serpent into tasting Mary's forbidden fruit?

We can only assume that Carville has a Jesus complex and a Mary Magdalene fetish. A J~~esus~~ames C~~hrist~~arville Mary Magdtalin role-play routine is the only thing that could explain the miracle of their marriage and the only way JC could live with himself and sleep with his wife.

We Never Knew That Feeling the Light of Christ Was So Easy. Or So, So Wrong.

Bryan Christian — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Jesus Christ, somebody get those kids away from Jesus Christ!

[Via Reddit]