Scanner : joe "boobies" francis

Sloppy Seconds: Why Sam Won't Leave Lindsay

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:47:00 GMT

We refused to read "Eat, Pray, Love" but that doesn't mean we won't see the movie. Julia Roberts is set to play the memoirist/author Elizabeth Gilbert. [Reuters]

An arrest warrant has been issued for Joe "Boobies" Francis and he faces up to 10 years in prison if convicted on charges of tax evasion. Which reminds us, we need to get our taxes done so we can afford to keep our meager boobies safe from Francis. [Yahoo!]

Is naked Obama riding a unicorn officially a meme? [Jossip]

We're not really fans of fake retro anything. But Shaun of the Dead is one of our favorite movies, so we're really excited about this 1960's paperback book cover artwork. It's sort of reverse adaptation. [LaughingSquid]

Staten Island's groundhog, Charles G. Hogg (known by locals as Staten Island Chuck) bit Mayor Bloomberg at a press conference today. We bet that's the last time Bloomie gets on a Ferry. [Star Gazette]

Are we the only ones who don't find the MacGruber SNL skits funny? [Vulture]

Unless you're really cool (we're not) you probably didn't know who Sam Ronson was before she started dating Lindsay Lohan. And according to FOXNews's ever-reliable sources, that's exactly why Sam would never leave LiLo. [FOXNews]

Scanner Highs and Lows: We're This Close to Losing it to Sarah Palin

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:29:00 GMT

In a month we'll either get to stop hearing about Sarah Palin forever or we'll be stuck hearing about her for four years. It kind-of feels like that time when you decide you're ready to lose your virginity and just need to find someone to lose it to. You know it's either going to be really great or really terrible, but you just need it to happen already... Right? Anyone?

Highs:

We may have found a man to keep us warm this winter.

And if it doesn't work out with that guy, we might still have a chance with Michael Cera.

If we get really desperate, we got hit on by this guy (even though they guy thought we were Sarah Palin).

We finally got our hands on the Sarah Palin swimsuit competition video.

We were on the local news, and this time there were no microwave dinners in sight.

We heard that Anne Hathaway liked anal. Then that she didn't. Then you told us you like Anal Anne better.

Lows:

We were forced to think of Hugh Hefner as a classy man (damn you, Joe "Boobies" Francis!).

We got in trouble for showing peen and had to take it down. Sorry.

We let ourselves be momentarily amused by Rachael Ray.

We had to listen to Sarah Palin talk for a really long time.

And we saw her nude. Sort of.

This guy gave us nightmares.

We lost a sweet, wonderful, beautiful man.

Who Would You Rather: Joe "Boobies" Francis vs. Hugh Hefner?

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:48:00 GMT

Girls Gone Wild creator Joe "Boobies" Francis has decided to pick a fight with Playboy papa Hugh Hefner. Not only did Francis make out with one of Hefner's girls next door, Kendra Wilkinson, he accused Hefner of running Playboy into the ground, telling PageSix "If you were Kendra and you looked at the Playboy stock price lately, wouldn't you think about upgrading?"

We never thought we'd say this, but Hugh Hefner has more class in his old, shriveled penis than Joe Francis has in his entire body. Now, the question is, can you handle the old, shriveled penis?

Related:

Scanner : joe "boobies" francis

Sloppy Seconds: Why Sam Won't Leave Lindsay

Scanner Highs and Lows: We're This Close to Losing it to Sarah Palin

Who Would You Rather: Joe "Boobies" Francis vs. Hugh Hefner?

Look Out Ladies: Joe Francis is Free and He Wants to See Your Boobies

Sloppy Seconds: Ashley Alexandra Dupre "Gone Wild?"

Joe Francis in 576 Words

Today in Page Six: Naomi Campbell, Prince, Joe Francis, Unnamed Penthouse Pet

An Open Letter to Ashley Alexandra Dupre: We're Gonna Write a Book!

Who Will Play Playboy Hugh Hefner in the Story of His Life?

While You Were Sleeping: The Playboy Selection Process

Peecol: The Hulk, Wonder Woman and a Dirty Old Man