Scanner : karaoke

While You Were Sleeping: Scanners in Austin

Colleen Kane — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:03:00 GMT

Last night, all of us Scanner types at SXSW finally met up in person. This photo is about how it went. Emily was calling that dangling bit her phone's penis. I thought she looked rather like a blow-up doll in this shot, so that's going to be her Halloween costume this year.

This is Emily stepping up to the guy from the New York Times. In the background is Fairbanks acting scandalized.

But then everybody made up.

We ended the evening at a karaoke night, where Emily danced with her new boyfriend here, who was then dumped a moment later when we pursuaded her to leave.

Related:

Suicide Girls Get Bromantic Tattoos @ SXSW

Live Blogging SXSWi: Sex Lives of the Microfamous

Live Blogging SXSWi: Sexual Exploitation and Self

Top 10 Worst Places to Live in the U.S.

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:17:00 GMT

In these trying economic times, you can at least be thankful you don't live in one of these ten horrendous U.S. metropolitan areas.

Wait, you don't actually live in these places, dear readers, do you?

Strollerderby directed us to this Forbes list of the ten worst places to live in the rapidly-crumbling American continental empire. Aren't you glad you don't live in these cities? Seriously, none of you actually live here, right?

1. Stockton, CA. The cost of living has skyrocketed here, thanks to a hipster influx from other Bay Area towns and cities. Why this hasn't translated into economic growth for Stockton is beyond us. Perhaps that major real estate crash two years ago has something to do with it-- Stockton led the country in foreclosures in 2007. Bonus: The band Pavement started out here.
2. Memphis, TN. Crime is what did this in, according to Strollerderby. In our experience, we'd have to agree. On our sole trip to Memphis, we saw lots of street arrests, including of a tourist who had to be tackled and maced repeatedly by a cop who was trying to eat lunch when the tourist attacked our friends.
3. Chicago, IL. Blago, you bastard.
4. Cleveland, Ohio. "Cleveland, city of light, city of magic," sang Randy Newman mockingly almost four decades ago. Things haven't improved since, apparently.
5. Modesto, California earns its place here by being "one of the top three most dangerous metropolitan areas in California." Why it's more dangeorus than other dangerous metropolitan areas in the U.S. is also beyond our understanding.
6. Flint, Michigan. Michael Moore could've told you twenty years ago this auto industry town was doomed.
7. Detroit, Michigan. Ditto Detroit.
8. Buffalo, N.Y. Buffalo is the new badlands. If you don't believe us, try spending two hours in a bar there without arming yourself to the teeth.
9. Miami, Florida. Miami is about to be the first major U.S. city to completely collapse due to the mortgaging crisis. Hey, we didn't say it-- Forbes did.
10. St. Louis, Missouri. Hey Scanner Emily, at least it wasn't Kansas City.

Via Strollerderby.

Related:

How The World Watches Porn Now

Will You Be Our Sexy Valentine?

Apparently, Times Square's Seedy Side Moved To Eugene, Oregon...

Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Weighs in on the Taste of Breast Milk

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:51:00 GMT

If we were guys who were into girls, we don't think we could come up with anything more dreamy than going on a karaoke date with Drew Barrymore. Lucky Jason Segel. [Us]

Jennifer Aniston's "Marley and Me" outsold her ex Brad Pitt's "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" at the box office over the weekend, leaving us able to only mutter "nah nah nah nah boo boo." [FadedYouth]

We're actually sort-of surprised we haven't seen a VPILF (Vice President I'd Like to Fuck) shirt sooner. [LustyLady]

Speaking of Sarah Palin, Tina Fey has been voted the Associated Press' Entertainer of the Year. [AP]

According to a new study out of the UK women who wear a U.K. size 14 are happier in life than their smaller and larger counterparts. Considering a size 14 in the UK is a size 10 here, that sounds about right. Right? [Jezebel]

Websites may soon be given cinema-style ratings. If it actually happens, you might need to be accompanied by your parent next time you visit Scanner. Meh, who are we kidding? You'll probably need to be 18 to enter. [TimesOnline]

Pete Wentz (and his penis!) continue to keep it classy. He recently tried wife Ashlee Simpson's breast milk and found it to taste "weird" and "sour." [Strollerderby]

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: The Last True Supermodel

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Anne Hathaway's karaoke song is rather fitting, don't you think?

The incident with his mom and sister was apparently not the only one during Christian Bale's wild Friday.

A list of the top Hollywood bachelors that in any way involves Ryan Seacrest is invalidated automatically.

Guy answers call from the cops on his cell phone by saying: "Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police," and hanging up.

Speaking of police, they arrested a man for stealing money from a fountain in a Florida mall. His total haul? 42 cents.

You're not gonna believe who Forbes magazine thinks is the best investment in Hollywood. (You were right if you said "whoever it is, it's definitely not Tom Cruise.")

And Naomi Campbell says she wasn't the "last true supermodel":

"Models need to earn their stripes - I just think the term is used a little too loosely.
"Kate Moss is obviously a supermodel but, after Gisele [Bundchen], I don't think there's been one."

Via IMDB.

Related:

Scanner Roundtable: What's Your Karaoke Song?

Sloppy Seconds: Whose Illegitimate Half Sister is This?

Sloppy Seconds: Update On The Christian Bale Story

Gisele Bundchen's Latest Nude Shoot May Be Her Finest Work Yet

Rumor Mongering (or Simple Math): Is Naomi Campbell's Vagina Infected?

UPDATE: Link fixed.

Sloppy Seconds: Whose Illegitimate Half Sister is This?

Emily Farris — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 22:06:00 GMT

At first we got all excited about the Alanis Morissette karaoke contest but then we realized none of the songs were from Jagged Little Pill. [MySpace]

Did Anne Hathaway rat out her billionaire ex-boyfriend to the FBI? That is, at the same time, badass and deplorable. [The Blemish]

Angelina Jolie is apparently ready to pop those twins our of her sexy body... if she hasn't already. [FameCrawler]

It must be summer, summer, summertime! Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff have reunited, at least for the Hancock premiere. [People]

Uber-Christian Heidi Montag has just released her new single One More Drink: "I'm going home with you if I have one more drink." [Us]

Is this the missing link? Well, we mean the missing Lohan. And she's not really missing, she's just illegitimate. [ICYDK]

It's Always the Unsuspecting Girls Who Turn Out to be Crazy Christians

Angelina Jolie is Smoking Hot in Vanity Fair (In the Bathtub)

Celebrity Ink: Angelina Jolie's Tattoos Look Really Great Next to Her Breasts

Michael Lohan: The Only Person on Earth Who Won't See Lindsay Lohan's Breasts

Michael Lohan Sells Out Lindsay Once Again

Scanner Roundtable: What's Your Karaoke Song?

Emily Farris — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:22:00 GMT

Last night we went to karaoke, and instead of pulling out our fail safe songs — "I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor and/or "What's Up?" by the 4 Non Blondes — we thought we'd try something new. We went with "Laid" by James.

We of course sang over the radio edits. "She only sings when she's on top?" No, we know what she does when she's on top.

Sure the ditty would get the 20 to 30-something Brooklyn crowd going, we gave it our all, which is a lot. Instead of energizing the crowd, though, we wasted our energy on a room full of bums (save our friends who gladly cheered us on) and the one bearded man we wanted to impress with our early 90's sex/ obsession/ rock sense went to the bathroom during what we thought would be our killer performance.

So, Scanner readers. What is your karaoke song? And does it get the crowd going?

While You Were Sleeping: This Orangutang Surpassed Your IQ Level

Emily Farris — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:12:00 GMT

The creepiest dude you never met held his own daughter hostage in his basement for 24 years and fathered seven children with her. [CNN]

MySpace karaoke might be a great idea if MySpace would ever fucking load on our computer. [Yahoo!]

Joe "Boobies" Francis is "very surprised and in fact amazed" that Ashley Alexandra Dupre is suing him. [Us Weekly]

Jamie Lee Curtis thinks that Miley Cyrus' parents should have protected her from the wrath of Vanity Fair. [People]

Okay, maybe the orangutang isn't smarter than us—yet!—but it is spear fishing. Can you do that? [Neatorama]

Scarlett Johansson Gets By With a Little Help From Her Friend, David Bowie

Emily Farris — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:48:00 GMT

We're continually baffled by the fact that Scarlett Johansson is doing a Tom Waits tribute album. And all the attention it's getting.

Maybe Waits was a safe bet for someone who can't really sing—you know, if her karaoke performance in Lost in Translation is any indicator of her vocal prowess. Not that we don't love Tom's voice, we do, it does something funny to us. But her people had to be thinking 'hot girl with big tits and scratchy voice who can't really sing? Yeah, let's just have her growl her way through Waits covers. This will also give her instant double hipster music cred. Let's call in the big guns.'

And big guns they did call. David Bowie has collaborated on two tracks with ScarJo for the album "Anywhere I Lay My Head." We can't wait for this thing to come out, for so many, many reasons, though we fear none of the tracks will end up in our "Top 25 Most Played."

[Hello!: Scarlett gets a little help from David Bowie on her debut disc]

Scarlett Johansson Does Tom Waits, No Really

Emily Farris — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 18:23:00 GMT

In case you haven't heard, Scarlett Johansson is set to release her first album soon. And um, it's all Tom Waits covers. This will be interesting, to say the least. Let's take a little trip back in time, shall we?

[Image via]