Scanner : kelly osbourne

PapSmeared: Kelly Osbourne's Fiance is a Tad Bit Nipply

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:34:00 GMT

Sloppy Seconds: America, F*ck Yeah!

Emily Farris — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 23:33:00 GMT

~~Scanner~~ Salon Sarah checks out all of the Obama paraphernalia, including Scanner's favorite: the Head O State commemorative dildo. And, you know, other stuff. [Salon]

Pete Wentz took his American penis to the Inauguration, left his wife and son at home. [Us]

Kelly Osbourne (NOT an American!) was arrested for assault after allegedly slapping a journalist. [People]

The economy turns you into a "needy, horny, stay-at-home basketcase." Good or bad? [The Daily Beast]

If we prayed, our prayers would be with Ted Kennedy after he collapsed at Barack Obama's luncheon today. [CNN]

SNL's Fred Armisen was seen "candoodling" with Mad Men's ~~Peggy Olson~~ Elizabeth Moss. What a cute American couple. [Vulture]

Former First Daughters Jenna and Barbara Bush wrote an open letter to incoming First Daughters Sasha and Malia Obama, telling them what to expect at the White House, what to seek out and what to avoid. [Jezebel]

Sloppy Seconds: Psychology Teachers Getting In On The Student Sex Craze

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 20:17:00 GMT

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for smacking a woman who insulted her future ex-husband.

The Biggy Smalls biopic Notorious is causing theater owners to freak out. There have been reports of shootings and then this near-riot and outdoor fight has police scrambling for backup.

This may be the coolest thing ever created with Legos...

Obama fever has officially hit Legoland. The Carlsbad, CA, park has modified its U.S. Capitol model to illustrate the historic Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama. The display opens to the public tomorrow, Jan. 16, and will stay on through Memorial Day. Photos by Christopher Victorio. [SF Weekly]

The latest school sex scandal? Seems a psychologist in Idaho was pissed teachers are getting all the underage ass.

Grandpa... became Grandma.

Previously: people using the inaugural to rent out their apartments on Craig's List for astronomical amounts of money. Now: people using the inaugural to troll Craig's List for random sex. One poster wants you and another lady to join him in his hotel jacuzzi-- don't miss out.

UPS delivers, baby.

A London man is all set to marry his fiancee... unfortunately, she died in a car accident. (No, really, this is a beautiful story.)

And word on the street has it that the documentary on Lil' Wayne is the surprise hit of this year's Sundance Festival. Click here to find out why.

Related:

Boy Wages Internet Campaign To Stop Cussing, With Predictably Hilarious Results

While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Is A Big, Whiny Phony

Teacher Takes In A 13-Year-Old Boy-- You Know What Happens Next...

Who Would You Rather: Hot For Teacher Tournament

14-Year-Old Girl Sold Into Marital And Sexual Slavery For $16 Grand

Kelly Osbourne's Crazy Train Makes a Stop at the Nursery

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:40:00 GMT

Looks like Kelly Osbourne is engaged. Who, you ask, could be exciting, unmarred, and fresh-faced enough to win this 23-year-old's heart?

Answer: This, man, er, guy, ahem, child.

No, that is not the elf from Lord of the Rings. That is 18-year-old model Luke Worrall. Who is, did we mention, 18 years old and, according to Facebook, engaged to Kelly Osbourne who we could have sworn was older than 23, but hey whatever being Ozzy's kid probably prematurely ages you.

Luke likes skateboarding and has his lip pierced and Kelly is like so in love with him and they are going to make tons of babies just as soon as he gets sperms.

Sloppy Seconds: Demi Moore And Her Boob Squirt

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Strip clubs in Denver are reporting a decline in business... just since the DNC began.

Why is anyone surprised Axl Rose doesn't bother with pickup lines? If we were him, we wouldn't either... although, um, we probably still wouldn't put it quite like he did.

Scariest headline of the day, via CNN: Airline removes life vests to lighten load

Sheryl Crow, Stevie Wonder and "i.am" John Legend join obvious choice will.i.am to close out tonight's convention.

We barely even remember hearing about this movie, and now it's getting a sequel?

Your boyhood idols: where are they now?

Just in case, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty has canceled his weekend interviews.

Kimora Lee Simmons denies she's pregnant. Meaning someone reportedly cared enough to print that she may have been.

Do you believe this story:

Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone has accused Demi Moore of deliberately squirting breast milk at his gay friends.

We don't.

Related:

Scanner : kelly osbourne

PapSmeared: Kelly Osbourne's Fiance is a Tad Bit Nipply

Sloppy Seconds: America, F*ck Yeah!

Sloppy Seconds: Psychology Teachers Getting In On The Student Sex Craze

Boy Wages Internet Campaign To Stop Cussing, With Predictably Hilarious Results

While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Is A Big, Whiny Phony

Teacher Takes In A 13-Year-Old Boy-- You Know What Happens Next...

Who Would You Rather: Hot For Teacher Tournament

14-Year-Old Girl Sold Into Marital And Sexual Slavery For $16 Grand

Kelly Osbourne's Crazy Train Makes a Stop at the Nursery

Sloppy Seconds: Demi Moore And Her Boob Squirt

Todd Solondz Moves Reign of Terror Off Shore

Sloppy Seconds: Could We Possibly Love Steve Carell Any More?

The Life-Saving Power of Breasts

Add Denver To The List Of "Places That Scare Us"

Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

Hot or Not: Jodie Marsh's Boobs?