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While You Were Sleeping: Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape Is Inspiring to Young Girls?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:59:00 GMT

Say what you want about its culture, but Wal-Mart workers in Miami may be the first in the nation to unionize.

The top 10 places to kiss.

Here's one we haven't heard before: police raided a topless bar that featured a fourteen-year-old stripper.

Arlen Spector's historic decision to switch to the Democratic Party yesterday not only gives the Donkeys 60 seats in the Senate, it also means they'll probably seize the seat next fall.

SJP and Matthew Broderick are having twins (through a surrogate.)

How can anyone give a flying fuck what Sean Hannity says after he relentlessly defended Kim Kardashian as a role model.

Dolph Lungren probably wishes he could've had Sly around to kick some major ass while this was going down.

And do you think this mother should have her children taken away? She is very overweight and was feeding them McDonald's (albeit UK McDonald's) at six months!

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

Rosario Dawson Will Never Stop Having to Discuss Her Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:24:00 GMT

There's apparently something called T Magazine and Rosario Dawson did an interview for it a few weeks back.

In it, she discusses lesbian sex, being completely naked on screen, abortion, and the following sex scene...

That's from Alexander, the Oliver Stone film Dawson addresses in her T Mag interview:

The only sex scene I’ve done that caused a fuss was the one I did with Colin Farrell in ‘‘Alexander.’’ That scene was intense. I thought it was necessary to the movie — in life sometimes you’re naked. But it was not soft porny in any way, which would have been harder for me. My brother, who D.J.’s in a strip club, was relieved when he saw it. He said he was happy that I ‘‘was fit.’’ He didn’t want to be embarrassed around his friends.

Sorry, Rosario, but it's an Oliver Stone film-- it was definitely soft-porny.

She also discusses lesbian sex, her mother nearly having her aborted, and love scenes with Will Smith:

I didn’t have sex until was 20. I got into trouble at school because one of my friends said, ‘‘Lesbians do it with straws.’’ I said, ‘‘I can tell you how lesbians do it, and there are no straws involved!’’ But I think all that talk of sex put me off. The first time I had it, I think it was in a head-to-toe rubber. I was terrified of getting pregnant. My mom was planning to get an abortion when she was pregnant with me. She was at the clinic waiting for her appointment and she felt me move in her stomach. I always tell her it was probably gas. I thank God for gas.
Before our first major kiss, [Will Smith] said, ‘‘Let’s go — I’m going to nail this scene. I want to go home.’’ [Laughs] But he focused. Kissing can be more intimate than nudity. You have to take your time.

We don't know about that last one-- getting attacked by a horny Colin Farrell, trying to kill him, and then having full on-screen sex is pretty intimate. It almost made us embarrassed for having been so pleased to see her naked... almost.

Gwyneth Paltrow Saves Joaquin Phoenix's Career With Her Boobs

Top 5 Threesome Sex Scenes

Apparently, Olga Kurylenko Would Rather Be Naked

Sloppy Seconds: Annie Leibovitz's Financial Woes

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:39:00 GMT

Netflix will offer a streaming-only service, but apparently it still won't be available to Mac users. [Wired]

Former Hugh Hefner flame and original Girl Next Door Holly Madison has split from Criss Angel after nearly four months. [Yahoo!]

It looks like there's some not-so-hot lesbian action coming to Desperate Housewives' Wisteria Lane. [Us]

Maybe John Mayer really is that into Jennifer Aniston? [People]

What happens when a skinny reporter goes to fashion week in a fat suit? [Jezebel]

Annie Leibovitz took out a loan against her photographs to pay off her mortgage debt. When Leibovitz's long-time partner Susan Sontag died in 2004, she left several properties to the photographer, who has struggled to afford to keep them. [AfterEllen]

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PapSmeared: Hugh Grant is Just Not That Into Drew Barrymore

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:04:00 GMT

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Krasinski and Fischer Sadly Opted Out of "The Office" Porn

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:01:00 GMT

As it does for every cultural phenomenon, the adult film industry has created a XXX spoof the NBC sitcom The Office...

We're not even sure this trailer of the parody film is really NSFW. In fact: there's only one flash of boob, and it's a covered one. Here's hoping the actual film lives up to its promises... now who'll be the first to mail us a review copy?

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Sloppy Seconds: Evan Rachel Wood Goes There, We Lose Our Lunch

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 23:07:00 GMT

Novelist John Updike is dead at 76. [AFP]

Don Draper on 30 Rock is going to give us serious sensory overload, and we're going to like it! Here's a preview: [Vulture]

Perv alert! Naked Broadway star ~~Harry Potter~~ Daniel Radcliffe invited Sasha and Malia Obama to "Hogwarts." We've not read Harry Potter so that probably sounds a lot dirtier and more grown up than it really is. [People]

Bill O'Reilly called Jessica Alba "dumb" and she did not like it. Not one bit. [Us]

News flash: Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement (from "Flight of the Conchords" for those of you who live in a cave) are not poor in real life. Did we really need a news story to tell us that? Um, apparently, we did. [Yahoo!]

21-year-old Evan Rachel Wood was spotted making out with her 56-year-old on-screen dad Mickey Rourke last night. Gag us with a lock of his greasy hair! [FOXNews]

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen Sends Topless Pic To Wrong Guy

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Marcia Cross' husband is being treated for cancer.

Tens of millions of credit/debit card numbers were compromised in a major security breach. The biggest problem-- we don't know which numbers were affected.

Amy Winehouse's father says she was near death on two occasions. Only two? We're guessing that's counting "continuously for 14 months" as one of the occasions...

Is this the kissing capital of the world? No, but the legend's pretty good.

This is the scariest police officer ever. And that includes the guy who attacked the Times Up cyclist.

We've all worried about calling the wrong "Steve" or "Jessica" in our phones, but now Lily Allen's got us freaked out about picture messaging our phone photos to the wrong person.

A 107-year-old African-American woman who knew MLK when he was a kid was beyond thrilled by Obama's inauguration.

And Ted Kennedy, who collapsed during the inaugural luncheon, having suffered a seizure, appears to be improving and is expected to leave .

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C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

This Week in Gayness: Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke Get Personal

PapSmeared: Lindsay and Sam Step Out to Show the World They're Still in Love

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:31:00 GMT

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Michigan Backs Teen Pregnancy and the Spread of STDs with $1.4M Grant

Emily Farris — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 16:41:00 GMT

Michigan, Michigan, Michigan. What the hell is up? You went blue in the election (of course Missouri went red while electing a Democratic governor, so what does that really tell us?). You're pretty cool with Detroit and all. But what the fuck is up with the Michigan Department of Community Health giving out $1.4 million dollars in grants to fund abstinence-only education? Don't you have, like, homeless people to feed? Or school music programs to keep alive? Do you know how many condoms you could buy with that money? Oh, right. Silly us. Who needs condoms when you will be totally successful in keeping kids from having sex before marriage?

"The grant programs are directed at youth ages 12-18 and parents of youth in that age group. Of the money, $875,000 will go to community groups and organizations, while an additional $542,000 will fund technical staffing and an abstinence-only public awareness campaign. Michigan spends $700,000 a year on other sexual health education programs.

“The Michigan Abstinence Program is geared to promote abstinence from sexual activity and other related risky behaviors,” said MDCH Director Janet Olszewski in a press release. “This funding will further help our communities and the abstinence program guide our youth away from risky activity.”

The problem, activists say, is abstinence-only education doesn’t work. According to numerous studies, abstinence only, which is an education model that teaches young people to abstain from sexual behavior, but not how to prevent sexual transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancies, does not work."

Where have we heard that before?

Oh, when we learned that abstinence-only education doesn't work. Or, if you didn't hear, abstinence-only education doesn't work. Hey, did you hear the one about abstinence-only education and how it doesn't work?

We'll see you at Planned Parenthood, young ladies of Michigan!

[Michigan Messenger: Michigan gives out $1.4 million in abstinence-only education grants]

Related:

When "You May Kiss the Bride" Is the First Kiss Ever It's Apparently "Magical"

Abstinence-Only Education Doesn't Work

Hey George Bush, See What Your Abstinence-Only Education Has Done to America's Youth?

Today in WTF: Virginity Pledges Actually Work?

Riots At Florida-Michigan Meeting Fail To Cause Deja Vu in Clueless Democrats

More Fun With Photoshop: McCain-Palin Beauties

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While You Were Sleeping: Mexican Beauty Queen Stripped... Of Her Title

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:03:00 GMT

Players and connoisseurs of music, Thelonious Monk's advice on playing in his band is an essential look at a mad genius.

Never been kissed? These kooks hadn't either, so they decided to make out in public and then tell the Daily News their real names.

Courtney Love and the Kardashians are at war...

Courtney Love faces possible legal action after accusing socialite Kim Kardashian's brother Rob of punching one of her gay employees.
In an angry rant on her MySpace page written on Wednesday, Love alleged that Kardashian's brother Rob Jr. broke the nose of her employee while calling him a "faggot" in September.

Love writes: "Rob Jr. cold socked and punched my employee right in his face for no reason and broke his nose after my guy was hanging out with his pal Brody Jenner one night outside Hyde lounge."

Talk about adding insult to injury: not only is he named Mike Hunt, but the internet makes fun of his name when he's murdered.

At last, CNN does something good with its website: it reports on a 17-year-old Maryland kid who heard about violence against Sudanese women who go looking for firewood and decided to raise money to send them stoves.

The war between Lindsay Lohan and her father, and her father and Samantha Ronson, rages on.

A Mexican beauty queen lost her title after getting caught up in a drug sweep.

$100,000 worth of cashews were stolen in Sydney yesterday.

And rumors involving the possible engagement of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen turn out to have been false (we think.)

Louder Than Love: A Deafening Makeout

Colleen Kane — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:21:00 GMT

A Chinese woman went completely deaf in one ear while making out with her boyfriend, but her hearing is expected to return in the next few weeks.

How, pray tell, did this happen?

The eardrum of the unfortunate twenty-something ruptured in the course of "an excessively passionate kiss," says Reuters. Apparently the pressure dropped in the mouth, which sucked out her eardrum?

It doesn't sound like those guys really know how to kiss.

A word to the wise from China Daily: "While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution."

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Image: msnbc.com

George and Babs Kiss and Make Up

Emily Farris — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:17:00 GMT

Barbara Streisand has been one of George W. Bush's most outspoken critics (aside from Scanner Brian), once going so far as to call him "an alien sent here to destroy Earth."

But last night Streisand was honored with a Kennedy Center Award and considering Bush is still in office for a few more weeks, the two had no choice but to kiss and make up (though we would have liked to see Babs find some way to Donkey Punch W... if one can even Donkey Punch a man).

Totes awkward. The mood definitely woud have been lightened with a little friendly Babs-on-Bush Donkey Punching.

Related:

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Bush: "People Voted For Barack Obama Because of Me" No sh*t!

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Images topnews.in/ dailynews.com

When "You May Kiss the Bride" Is the First Kiss Ever It's Apparently "Magical"

Emily Farris — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:47:00 GMT

Claudaniel Fabien and Melody La Luz practice what they preach. You see, they are "abstinence educators" in Chicago (you know, in the public schools) and they have been all kinds of abstinent.

The couple married on Saturday. And had their first kiss right about the time the preacher said "You may kiss the bride," because they didn't want to get too close to temptation.

So, what was it like to finally lock lips?

"It was surreal," said Claudaniel "CD" Fabien, 30, after his marriage to Melody LaLuz Fabien on Saturday. "It was like, my other self came out and said, 'Look dude, you're kissing her!' "

The bride described the kiss as "magical."

"It feels like such a gift," Melody said after the ceremony. "When you value a kiss, it becomes something of worth."

A few minutes later she was giggling as her new husband said, "We got business to take care of tonight."

We would like to think they've been secretly banging in the band room the entire time.

[Sun Times: Now You May Kiss the Bride]

Related:

Abstinence-Only Education Doesn't Work

Today in WTF: K-Mart Abstinence Pants

Hey George Bush, See What Your Abstinence-Only Education Has Done to America's Youth?

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The Father-Daughter Purity Ball Is One Party Scanner Will Not Be Attending

John McCain Unaware of the Uses of Condoms

(Thanks, Andrew!)

Sloppy Seconds: Joe The Plumber's New Homeland Security Gig

Emily Farris — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:52:00 GMT

We can't think of anything more unAmurrrican than George W. Bush pardoning an eagle killer. Okay, we can, but still... [Gawker]

Hugh Jackman's wife was totally cool with him kissing Nicole Kidman. [Us]

Who was totally not cool on David Letterman last night. [Jezebel]

Stephanie from Full House's baby daddy (who is not from Full House but from the real world but that that Real World) has made an emotional plea for Stephanie, er Jodie Sweetin, to bring back the couple's 7-month-old daughter. Sweetin and Cody Herpin split recently, and Jodie took the kid. [Radar]

Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital after an adverse reaction to "medication." [Yahoo!]

As Wonkette so smartly stated, "Joe the Plumber's life officially becomes off-putting David Lynch film." Joe, er Samuel Wurzelbacher, is apparently now doing tacky commercials for some cheap electronics company. And it's really sad. But, hey, at least he has a job, right? A job protecting the public safety of the united states during the digital TV transition. For real. [Wonkette]

Barack Obama Loves His Wife

Emily Farris — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 20:57:00 GMT

We really can't say it any better than our friend just did when sending us this link:

So, the most powerful man in the world adores his strong, intelligent wife of 16 years. That we knew, and frankly it was to satisfy me for a lifetime. Now it turns out that this relationship INCLUDES PUBLIC YET SECRETIVE SEXUAL EAR BITING:

Now, it could be he's just whispering sweet somethings in her ear. You believe what you want to believe and we'll believe what we want to believe.

[Image, Image]

Caption This: Madonna and Britney, Reunited and It Feels So Good

Emily Farris — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Image via Faded Youth.

Men's Health Should Worry More About Men's Sanity

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 17:10:00 GMT

Men's Health (apparently the South African edition) has just published the "41 ways to melt a woman's heart," which should be subtitled "or compel her to obtain a restraining order."

Guys, don't try these at home... at least... not all of them.

Like all lists of advice for relationships, the value of the wisdom depends on the personalities. For example, see #3.

1. Ask her to dance.

2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.

3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.

4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.

We know quite a few ladies who get off on a guy who does not rush over to meet them, instead leans back with a sly smile and waits for his girl to meet him where he's already standing. But that's a trivial issue compared to some of these other creeptastical suggestions:

24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.

25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice. [Yeah, and not necessarily in a good way. Dudes, don't forget, some women appreciate it when you don't shave before you see them.]
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard. [Hmmm... why does this sound creepy all of a sudden?]
27. Worship her breasts.
28. Give her jewellery.

29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)

Right. Make sure to be standing there, motionless and in complete silence, when she yanks the shower curtain over.

And although we're pretty sure this one's meant to be silly, after the above choices, we're not so sure:

41. If she’s too stressed to want sex...
a. Run a bath for her.
b. Give her a full-body massage.
c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.

Via Men's Health.

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While You Were Sleeping: Playboy Kills the DVD

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:06:00 GMT

Rudy Ray Moore, aka "Dolemite," passed away.

Billy Baldwin's co-star says his wife is a lucky man because Baldwin is one helluva kisser. This is his transsexual mistress-playing co-star, which makes it all the better.

Good Lord, Tom Arnold is absolutely wasted in this video... how ever did it get on the airwaves? Even if those airwaves are over the internet?

Thanks, Elizabeth!

Sorry, Londoners: Paris Hilton is considering a move to your turf.

Gillian Anderson gave birth to her third child.

CNN's breaking news this morning: Americans are angry, stressed. We also just found out that Americans enjoy alcoholic beverages, vehicles, and vast sums of money. Thanks, CNN.

And Playboy has said it will discontinue the DVD in favor of online-only content.

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Since When Were Any Pictures of Anyone Born After 1990 Considered "Vintage?"

Emily Farris — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:22:00 GMT

Or.... when did we get old?

Is it us, or should the words "vintage" and "MySpace" never, ever appear in the same headline?

If you watch Gossip Girl (like we do, with no shame, thank you very much), you might be nominally interested in these "Vintage MySpace Pictures" of Taylor Momsen on this blog apparently put together by a 13-year-old. If like us, you were born before the 90's, you might be interested in why they're called "vintage?"

Maybe you're just a creepy old dude who wants to look at pictures of a 12-year-old-girl. In that case, stop right here, Mister!

[OceanUp: Taylor Momsen MYSPACE VINTAGE PICTURES]

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A Kiss Is Just a Kiss, Except When It's a Four-Page Article on the Science of Making Out

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Ever since we locked lips for the first time behind the pyramid on our grade school playground, we've been unapologetically hooked. We're never met anyone who didn't think kissing was great. And now Scientific American has finally gotten around to explaining why you let that assistant manager take your temperature with his tongue in the Applebees' bathroom.

Turns out kissing may have had more to do with snacking than romance. According to the article:

In the 1960s British zoologist and author Desmond Morris first proposed that kissing might have evolved from the practice in which primate mothers chewed food for their young and then fed them mouth-to-mouth, lips puckered. Chimpanzees feed in this manner, so our hominid ancestors probably did, too. Pressing outturned lips against lips may have then later developed as a way to comfort hungry children when food was scarce and, in time, to express love and affection in general.

This confirms what we've known all along. Lady and the Tramp: Hot!

Bill Gates Love Secret #38: Lean to the Right

Bryan Christian — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:51:00 GMT

MSN has something for all its smoochally challenged readers: a helpful guide on how to be a better kisser. Among the tips offered: "Lean to the Right," "Take Charge," "Pause Before You Pucker," and "Chuck the Gum." "Chuck the Gum"? Hey, you know what's not on our list of steps to being a better kisser? "Read MSN."

What was your worst kiss? We once had a girl just kind of lay her tongue in our mouth and let us work around it. Oh man... it was like giving her face a BJ. That's right: like giving head to a head. Wrap your brain around that one!

Gay Kissing Experiment Hotter Than Test Tubes and Lab Coats

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 15:30:00 GMT

According to Fox News in Birmingham, AL, ABC News has been conducting a social experiment in Birmingham public places where same-sex couples show affection. We know about a hundred people who volunteer for this experiment just for the face-sucking opportunities. Personally, we'll conduct our kissing experiments a little closer to home. (via Queerty)

We Did Not Have Sex With Those Pandas

sarahhepola — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 14:42:00 GMT

We don’t know how to kick off your Monday better than by showing you this kissing panda video. (Via, what else?, CuteOverload.com) These pandas are really going at it. If you added a little bottle service to this zoo, we might just have some bona fide pop stars.