Scanner : lesbian fantasies

Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:15:00 GMT

We're barely even at the "attempting to wakeup" stage on this Monday morning, but luckily, Lily Allen has made another public faux pas that is quickly waking us up.

At this rate, we might even be able to operate heavy machinery or, even better, a margarita blender by noon...

Lily Allen, who has been telling the press about her "lesbian fantasies," took a swipe at G-A-Y fundraiser no-show Britney Spears by dressing up as Spears for an encore of "Womanizer" at the event over the weekend. The pop star, who as of today has a #1 single on the UK charts, dressed up in a sluttastic outfit that had the paparazzi like the attack dogs they most certainly are. A few of them tried to stick their cameras under her dress as she exited her car to sing at the event in Great Britain.

Fortunately for us, the Sun, the Daily Mail, and virtually ever other English publication caught the moment when she decided to sort of "moon" the crowd. We bring you only the highest quality source-- because you deserve it:

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Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes - the Sequel

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 19:19:00 GMT

Following up on the promise made with the Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes, we present the sequel, which was already in production when the first one landed with a triumphant boom on the mass culture...

5. Monster. It took some serious gobs of makeup and inventive hairstyling to make Christina Ricci and Charlize Theron unattractive, but somehow the sex scene survives. Perhaps this is due to the previous scene, one of our favorite romantic moments on screen, in which the stars awkwardly discover each other while rollerskating and continue making out with extreme giddiness even as the crowd becomes nauseated. (And to the strains of "Don't Stop Believin''" to boot!)

4. Desert Hearts. Thanks to a nomination in our first Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes post, we've decided to include this cult classic (sex scene) in the followup, although we're not sure this is the hottest of the films two sex scenes. (If anyone finds an embeddable or even a linkable version of the other sex scene in the film, we'll take a look.)

3. Wild Side. Anne Heche is so believably lesbian in this sex scene with the great and sorely missed Joan Chen, it's no surprise she played gay in real life for a few years after. Once you've had Joan... you can't go bone? Something like that... anyway, enjoy:

2. Lost and Delirious. By special request, we've included this very, very sexy scene here-- only because it's able to overcome the whiny and distracting soundtrack tune. As Joe Cocker (a porn star name if there ever was one) said at Woodstock, "This title pretty much puts it all into focus."

1. If These Walls Could Talk 2. Again, we can tolerate the soundtrack for the chance to enjoy Michelle Williams and Chloe Sevigny devouring each other, first to a neighbor's delight (or it it horror?) and then to the strains of an obvious Melissa Etheridge song. With or without it, this scene rules.

Related:

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Lindsay Lohan is in Love With a Woman But Not a Lesbian

New York Times: Iraq War Ends

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Swedish Boarding School Initiates Sex Games For New Students

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:22:00 GMT

Have we mentioned how much we love Sweden? First, many of its young ladies enjoy having sex with one another. It's also in Europe, somewhere, so that's helpful.

Seriously, this new story from Sweden, which involves boarding school students, sex games, bananas, and chocolate make take the, um, cake...

It seems that for the new autumn semester of Riksbasket Gymnasiet, a boarding school for students who are more focused on basketball than school books, the new students got a welcoming party they hadn't bargained for.

“In one game boys had their upper bodies covered in chocolate and the girls had to lick it off,” said Ewa Lundström, principle for sports high schools in Luleå, to Sveriges Radio.
“In another game the girls were lying on the floor with a banana in their mouth while the boys did pushups on top of them and ate the bananas,” said Lundström.

Of course, school officials are ruining all the fun by launching a full investigation into the serious, serious matter. Students, meanwhile, are probably realizing that they need to tighten the ranks to the most trustworthy friends, who aren't likely to snitch, and then at least try to get more creative about their initiation methods.

We recommend ice cubes on a hot day, a la Do The Right Thing.

Via The Local.

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Sloppy Seconds: Which Pop Star Might Play The Lead In The Next Tarantino Film?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:20:00 GMT

A screen capture from the new Woody Allen film. By the way, that's Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz.

Morgan Freeman that may have had his mistress with him in the car crash that caused him serious harm: it turns out he is also going through a divorce.

British model Katie Price has Olympic fever: she's gearing up for 2012.

Twenty six Texas cheerleaders tried to break a pointless record by stuffing themselves into one elevator. Can you guess what happened?

The elevator successfully descended from the fourth floor to the first, but the doors refused to open.

The panicked girls managed to wiggle a few cell phones free to call for help. But it took about 25 minutes before a repairman was able to fix the door, police said.

Can you picture Toni Braxton or some other sometime A-listers on "Dancing With The Stars?"

Quentin Tarantino is reportedly in talks with Britney's reps about her playing a lesbian stripper in his remake of "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

Scarlett Johansson dismisses reports her makeout scene with Penelope Cruz is gonna be bonerrific. Learn more about this story in The Screengrab.

M83 Video: "Kim and Jessie" Roller Skate, Make Us Feel Funny Inside

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:37:00 GMT

This video for the M83 song "Kim and Jessie" brings the romance and the costumes back to roller skating. We couldn't be happier. Plus the song is good and sort of gay and basically "they have a secret world in each other" and, well, that's hot.

It's the perfect video to get you in the mood for Coney Island's new Dreamland roller rink, where you will find us, this weekend, in some sort of sparkling outfit. We imagine that Scanner Emily looked something like this right before she broke her wrist. This time, we are planning not to break any bones, just hearts.

This Week In Gayness: My Boyfriend Won't Put Out

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:50:00 GMT

If your Dad is a fervent anti-homosexual zealot, best not to brag to his face about having come from the Pride parade.

What, you thought they'd let gay couples on the revamped "Newlywed Game"?

A woman who worked in the Georgia General Assembly claims to have been fired after telling her boss she was "going to live as a woman."

Guess which reality show host is joining the cast of "The L Word" for Season Six?

According to Michael Ausiello of EW.com's the Ausiello Files (Entertainment Weekly online) Elizabeth Berkley, who flirted with the L word during her Showgirls days, is joining the Showtime hit for a multi-episode arc. [Lesbiatopia]

Today is the day our do-nothing Democratic Congress will finally do something: they're planning to take a peek at "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Unsurprisingly, the Lesbos of Lesbos island lost their cast against the, um, lesbos of the world. Nice waste of paper, kids.

A Turkish honor killing (aka hate crime), in which a 26-year-old gay man was the victim, shows no signs of any future bright spots: apparently, as is the case in most honor killings, the family left their son's body to rot and the boyfriend has fled the country after warnings from his consulate.

In a Dear Mona column posted today on About.com, one guy asks "Mona" why his boyfriend can say "I still love you" while abstaining from sex and watching a steady stream of porno. Is it a porn addiction or the relationship itself that's the problem? Read the response here.

Get Your Same-Sex Love and Marriage On

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:25:00 GMT

We've already warmed your stony little hearts with the story of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, octagenarians who were married in Cali yesterday.

But getting your gay on isn’t as easy for some. Ann Bauer in Salon writes about how she fell for a woman named Gisele after divorcing her husband of 20 years. Turns out falling for someone doesn’t necessarily include falling into bed. Ann, who can’t quite bring herself to knock sensible shoes with Gisele, eventually figures out that her love interest probably isn't the best presence in her life anyway.

It’s a good read. And if you get too frustrated by all the built up sexual tension, go ahead and watch the hopelessly adorable montage from our favorite lesbian movies below. We're so grateful for women who hang out together and actually have sex with each other. If the ladies from Sex and the City would just strap on and get it over with, the world might be a slightly more interesting place--at least the movie would have been less of a train wreck.

Angelina Jolie is Smoking Hot in Vanity Fair (In the Bathtub)

Emily Farris — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Angelina Jolie used to be "my gay," meaning I'd happily switch to the other side for her. But when she started doing all of these good-person deeds and began to appear on the cover of every magazine every week with her 17 children, she became a little less attractive to me. So by the time I got my issue of Vanity Fair in the mail yesterday I was a little tired of seeing her. And then I saw this picture of her in the bathtub and all was forgiven.

Aaaand... there she goes talking about adoption again. Adoption is great, don't get me wrong, I just can't have my lesbian fantasy with a mother of six, you know?

[Vanity Fair: A Woman in Full]

Related:

Scanner : lesbian fantasies

Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Sloppy Seconds: What's With All the Kate Hate?

Top 5 Salma Hayek Sex Scenes

Stars, They're Just Like Us: Ashton Hates His "F@#king Jackass Neighbor", Too!

The Gamer Next Door Models Your Last-Minute Gifts

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes - the Sequel

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Lindsay Lohan is in Love With a Woman But Not a Lesbian

New York Times: Iraq War Ends

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Swedish Boarding School Initiates Sex Games For New Students

Swedish Teen Girls Like To Have Sex With Each Other

Swedish Prostitutes Complain: "We Wanna Pay Taxes, Too!"

Scanner Highs And Lows: Sweden Or Sexism?

16 Year Old Boy Figures Out How To Rip Off Sex Offenders, Get Rich

Sloppy Seconds: Which Pop Star Might Play The Lead In The Next Tarantino Film?

M83 Video: "Kim and Jessie" Roller Skate, Make Us Feel Funny Inside

This Week In Gayness: My Boyfriend Won't Put Out

Get Your Same-Sex Love and Marriage On

Angelina Jolie is Smoking Hot in Vanity Fair (In the Bathtub)

Lesbians Love Angelina Jolie

Celebrity Ink: Angelina Jolie's Tattoos Look Really Great Next to Her Breasts

Rumor Denied: Angelina Jolie Still Looks Like a Caped House

Sloppy Seconds: Angelina Jolie Has a Belly Just Like the Rest of Us While Marion Cotillard Has Some Naked Pictures Just Like the Rest of Us