Scanner : louisiana

The Seven Deadly Sins, By the State

Colleen Kane — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Today in highly dubious statistics, the blog chart porn (which, by the way, exists) linked to charts of the United States showing the distribution of each of the Seven Deadly Sins: lust, envy, greed, gluttony, wrath, sloth, and pride. The charts originally ran in a Las Vegas Sun article in March but have been going viral these past few days with headlines like "Highest STD Rates: The Bible Belt." So there's one fun "fact" you've learned already.

Another fun fact-ish item: which state occupied by at least one Scanner is one of the country's most sinful, showing red on five of the seven charts?

Louisiana is in the red on the charts for lust, envy, wrath, sloth, and pride.

But what makes these charts seem so dubious is the arbitrary ways the stats were gathered. From chart porn,

Greed was calculated by comparing average incomes with the total number of inhabitants living beneath the poverty line. Envy was calculated using the total number of thefts - robbery, burglary, larceny and stolen cars. Wrath was calculated by comparing the total number of violent crimes - murder, assault and rape - reported to the FBI per capita. Lust was calculated by compiling the number of sexually transmitted diseases - HIV, AIDS, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea - reported per capita. Gluttony was calculated by counting the number of fast food restaurants per capita. Sloth was calculated by comparing expenditures on arts, entertainment and recreation with the rate of employment.

When we saw nearly the entire state of Louisiana was in the red for pride chart, we thought, surely they must be talking about LSU Tiger pride, in which case this chart is dead on. But pride was calculated by aggregating all of the other deadly sins. Huh?

Click here to see all of the charts.

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This Week in Gayness: Fred Phelps Attacks London

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:01:00 GMT

Australia is regressing into the past more and more every day: in addition to proposing a block on all terrorism-related websites (what, they don't have journalists in that country?), they want to block a lot of gay content.

John Kerry wants to reunite a gay couple. The Massachusetts Senator asked Attorney General Eric Holder to bring back a deported Brazilian man who was raped in his home country. A federal judge had said the rape was basically no big deal and he faced no danger in South America.

Rascal Flatts is telling people their new single, "Love Who You Love," has a pro-gay message.

A London elementary school has been teaching students that it's okay to have homosexual feelings and relationships. The best part of this is that when parents pull their kids from the school to avoid them hearing the lessons, the kids are marked truant. Of course, Fred Phelps heard about this and is bringing the Westboro Baptist Church over there to mess with them.

A federal judge ordered the state of Louisiana to put the names of both adopted fathers on a baby's birth certificate.

Chuck Schumer has finally come out... to back same-sex marriage.

And meanwhile, the Vermont Senate turned their gay civil unions into gay marriages. Woo-hoo!

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Important Music Trend: Olds Backed Up by Cutes

Colleen Kane — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:45:00 GMT

Scanner Brian chastised me as "terrible" at SXSW in Austin last week for admiring some fine male specimens, while silmultaneously engaged to be married. What? I'm not dead! And believe it or not, there are significantly fewer fetching gents/cads in Baton Rouge than there were in Austin, so it was a special occasion.

It's great to see seasoned older musicians, but they don't always provide the best viewing experience. Some veterans throw some younguns onstage, and aesthetics instantly improve. The first instance of olds backed up by a band of cutes was the legendary Roky Erickson, who played with the Black Angels. The band looks better with the trippy colored lights (above), just like their psych rock sounds better with them. These guys and girl ROCKED IT.

And this shot above is pretty much the same but with another band member visible...and a slightly better view of the gang is here with this gratuitous publicity shot.

Exhibit B: Daniel Johnston and these cutes from Brooklyn (of course). They're called the somethings, I forget what, doesn't really matter. I know everyone in music (and Scanner Brian) thinks Daniel Johnston is the cat's meow, but he just made me kind of sad and I couldn't get into his music at all, so instead I focused on the two energetic slender young men on either side of him, before leaving two songs into the set.

So anyway, music industry and music lovers, take note. There should be more of such intergenerational performances.

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Sunday Pudgy Sunday

Colleen Kane — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:41:00 GMT

While much of America settled in for a night of Oscars-bashing, Val Kilmer reigned over the Bachhus parade as part of New Orleans' Mardi Gras yesterday. Do you know what else the name Bacchus signifies?

Dionysus, the god of wine. Just sayin'.

So sad now that I missed this parade!

Also: do we want to know how his gloves got so filthy?

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Image: TMZ

Get in the Friday Zone: Mardi Gras!

Colleen Kane — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:46:00 GMT

It's month 18 of my exile in Southern Louisiana (by way of Brooklyn, by way of Jerse), a place I never would have thought I'd end up living.

One thing I've learned they take seriously in this part of the world is partying. Every season brings another celebration, and now we're in the time of the most infamous of them all: Mardi Gras. And so, to get in the spirit for the weekend's festivities, a video from last Mardi Gras of me dancing to the local jazz station with my Labrador, Cooper.

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Porn Star For Senate

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:40:00 GMT

David Vitter, the Republican Senator from Louisiana, is still dogged by revelations he had sex with prostitutes and dressed in adult diapers to get himself off. He faces an uncertain battle for re-election in this solidly red state, mainly thanks to a low public approval rating.

One possible challenger: porn star Stormy Daniels...

Her website includes these extremely relevant biographical notes:

In 2004, Stormy’s trailblazing career continued as she became a director for Wicked Pictures and, utilizing her natural writing talents, began penning original screenplays. She has since won numerous awards for her writing, directing, and acting. Stormy’s groundbreaking success in the adult entertainment industry transcended into mainstream entertainment as well. She has appeared in a variety of films, including the 2005 comedy The 40-Year-Old Virgin, starring famed comedian Steve Carell.

In other words, she's probably more qualified than David Vitter to represent the seedy and corrupt state of Louisiana.

It's The Economy, Sexy

Stormy understands the double edge sword of 21^st century technology in a global market environment. And she understands that protecting individual enterprise and production in an info-tech economy is one of the biggest challenges we face in our quest to rescue the free market.
Challenging times call for new perspectives. Stormy Daniels will infuse Congress with the entrepreneurial experience and inspiration needed to meet these challenges with confidence. [Draft Stormy Daniels]

Stormy hasn't even authorized this website about her, so who knows how serious this is. And while this is likely total bullshit, Daniels wouldn't be the first (or even second or third) porn star to run for public office...

Via Draft Stormy For US Senate.

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Trailer Trash Tramp Takes Two Teens To... Paradise?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Picture this: you live in a trailer in Houma, Lousiana. No, that's too horrible to imagine for most-- how about this instead:

Imagine a woman is living in a trailer in Louisiana. One night, she invites two thirteen-year-old boys and four boys of legal age to her place for a game of cards. After losing what we must assume was a very randy round of strip poke, she asks all six dudes to accompany her to the bedroom, where they took turns having sex with her while the others gawked, giggled, and most likely turned toward each other with "Dude, holy shit, dude!" looks on their faces.

Now, if you're the judge sentencing this woman-- remember, you're in the South-- how much jail time do you slap this woman with?

If you're Judge Timothy Ellender, the answer is NONE. Ellender is one of those rare judges who, instead of trying to win reelection by showing the media how unfairly tough on crime he can be, actually heeded the advice of the victim's family, who asked that Maureen Lirette receive zero jail time. They told the judge that the boys were not upset and, because Lirette has a young daughter, it would be best for everyone if Lirette received probation.

Thanks to state law allowing victims to weigh in on a criminal's punishment, the Judge was able to hear the family's recommendations. He listened, and now Lirette will serve five years of supervised probation and be placed in a registry of sex offenders. Among Judge Ellender's greatest hits, according to WWLTV:

“So this was a gang bang? Are you pleased with yourself? Can’t you get yourself a man?”
“There’s a double standard. Some people think you did a 13-year-old boy a favor. I certainly don’t.”

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. But you need to be embarrassed.”

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Today in Teacher Sex: Louisiana and New York Pervs Reach New Heights

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:36:00 GMT

Last year, there were well over four hundred reported cases of teachers having sex with underage students. So, it should come as no surprise that we're starting to get two of these creeptastic tales per day...

1) A 24-year-old male music teacher, who shuttles between private schools in the boroughs of Manhattan and Queens, was arraigned yesterday for some disturbing sex crimes. Like, this-guy's-going-to-die-in-prison creepy shit. Amos Duque is accused of "five counts of promoting a sexual performance by a child, five counts of possessing a sexual performance of a child, one count of second-degree sexual abuse and one count of endangering the welfare of a child."

Good Lord, we don't even want to know what he did to earn these distinctive charges:

[Duque] allegedly gave his cell phone to the 11-year-old student on Dec. 20, 2008, and persuaded him – allegedly by offering him money – to go into the bathroom and take pictures and make a video of his penis and then later, to allow him to see and touch his penis, according to the complaint. Duque also allegedly referred the boy to pornographic Web sites on the Internet. [MSNBC]

~~Douche~~ Duque faces seven years in prison, but he almost wasn't arrested at all. His victim kept it bottled up and may have suffered for years, perhaps decades, had a friend of his family not noticed something was wrong and got the child to spill the beans.

2) In Lousleazyanna, our favorite state, another 24-year-old teacher, this time a female, has been arrested for unlawful carnal knowledge-- and no, she didn't molest Sammy Hagar. The victim is a fifteen-year-old boy who may have actually been a willing participant. We say this only because of middle school staffer Kendra Hoffpauir's second charge: contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Correct us if we're wrong, but the charge can only be made if it was not a forced sexual encounter-- in other words, the boy would have to have been underage but also a willing participant. If she had been charged with sexual assault, then they would not have given her the second charge. No?

In any case, it doesn't really matter. The boy's parents found out (we always wonder how-- did the kid come home and tell them something horrible had happened to him or were the two caught in the act?) and the cops were called in.

Side note: We found out a little more about Miss Hoffpauir, thanks to social networking sites she belongs to. Hoffpauir is a 2006 graduate of a Baptist college and strongly supported Mike Huckabee in the primaries. Make of that what you will. Also, reports of this incident sparked a major outrage in the community, so much so that the local media grew concerned about a lynch mob or some renegade attack on the suspect.

I just wonder why the Leesville Leader pulled comment board for this article? When controversy errupts the Leader always yanks the boards, Its getting really old. Article had 6 comments this morning now they have completely removed all comments. Thanks Town Talk for putting the stories out and letting the people speak their minds. [Leader]

Another reader accused the Leader of allowing "Democrats" to "Sensor" the message board, which may be the only bright spot in this story...

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Today's Urgent Beauty Queen News

Colleen Kane — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Remember Louisiana's disgraced Miss Teen USA Lindsey Evans, who tried to skip out on a resturant bill, only she left her weed behind?

We'll give you one guess which senior citizen she's been seen palling around with lately.

Just kidding! It's:

Of course it is. Don't you think Hef must be so bored of busty blondes by now? He'd probably rather hang out with Rip Taylor.

Video at TMZ.

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Pepper Spray and Tasers, Josh Brolin Arrest Video

Scanner Matt — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 17:00:00 GMT

This happened last summer, but the incredible video has just been released recently, on the same day all charges were dropped. Will cops ever learn?

AP reports:

An attorney for actors Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright says prosecutors have agreed to drop all charges in an incident at a Louisiana bar last year.

Brolin, Wright and five crew members of the Oliver Stone film "W." were arrested on misdemeanor charges at the Stray Cat Club on July 12. Brolin and Wright were charged with interfering with police officers after a disturbance involving a crew member broke out.

Los Angeles attorney Blair Berk, who represented the actors and five others, says prosecutors in Shreveport have agreed to drop all charges against the group within 60 days. She declined to comment further.

Also in Josh Brolin news, he just called Russell Crowe an "A-hole".

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Are Too Few Baby Boys Being Circumcised?

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:29:00 GMT

According to new research, the number of baby boys being circumcised in the U.S. is dropping. While critics of circumcision may think this is a good thing, the reason behind the drop may not be.

Circumcision rates have decreased significantly since the 1980s, partially due to the fact that many people find the procedure cruel and unnecessary, but in part the drop can be attributed to the fact that 16 states do not currently cover the cost of a circumcision in their Medicad programs. According to some, this is taking the choice away from the poor.

Robert C. Bailey, a professor of epidemiology at the University of Illinois at Chicago, thinks that "It's another way in which our health system is increasing inequality across the population. People who can't afford good health care are essentially being discriminated against by this policy."

The states that don't cover circumcision are: Arizona, California, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, Utah and Washington and circumcision rates are "significantly lower" in those states, according to the research.

[US News & World Report: Circumcision Rates Too Low]

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[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Imagine Porky's... But Starring Kate Winslet

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Lil' Wayne won the popularity contest known as the Grammy nominations process. However, it wasn't a total loss: M.I.A., Coldplay, Taylor Swift, and Alison Krauss at least received more than their share.

Sarah Palin's latest ethics violation is being blamed on an "administrative error." Yeah, right-- then why has it been two months since the media had a field day with this "oversight" and only now you're fixing it?

Hey fatasses in Louisiana... Vermont can squeeze you in.

The official overseeing the police department in York County, PA was arrested on rape charges following a two-hour standoff with the police.

No one told us Andrew W.K. was hosting Ted Leo karaoke last night with Ted Leo/Pharmacists playing a full set, plus one where the audience does live karaoke with the band. Awesomeness.

Defamer asks "Is The Reader the new Porky's?" Apparently, The Reader was directed by Judd Aptow and features Jessica Biel's boobs.

We never understand when people talk smack about Brad Pitt. He's a charming old bastard...

Louisiana Teacher Gets Closer to Student By Sleeping with His Father

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 17:47:00 GMT

If you want to get in the pants of a fifteen-year-old boy, one way to make sure that happens is to first sleep with his father, then stick around for an encore.

Anna Davis, who is a 32-year-old special ed teacher at Benton High in Shreveport, Louisiana, has been arrested for having sex with a juvenile. The cops found out about it following a phone call Davis made the boy's divorced Dad, who she was also sleeping with, letting him know that she was dumping him for his son. Dad, out of either disgust or anger at having been dumped (we're kidding), immediately dialed up Davis's school, which removed her and notified the police.

Her response? "I'm in love with him and I want to marry him."

The cops? "I don't know if she understood exactly what she was doing."

Yes, officer, she most certainly does-- it's called sexual intercourse and it makes people do very strange things...

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Caged Heat: PETA Takes Topless Roadshow To Louisiana

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:20:00 GMT

The People For Ethical Treatment of Tasty Animals has invaded Shreveport, Louisiana, and they have a message for you meat-eating hicks. No, wait, they have a message for you circus-going hicks.

In other news: circuses still exist...

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals staged the event — meant to coincide with upcoming local Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Baily circus stops — at the northwest corner of Texas and Edwards streets.

“Many people were baffled to see what goes on behind the scenes at a circus,” said Virginia Fort, a PETA paid staffer. She said the dozens who stopped to look or take photos was a good turnout.

PETA made a stop Tuesday in Alexandria.

“They shouldn’t treat them bad,” said Jody Abbitt, who works downtown and took photos of protester Christina Dang, 22, of Michigan. Dang crouched in a cage below signs saying animals should be free.

Whom shall they not treat badly, Jody Abbitt? The animals or the protestors? Either way, you're right, Jody: it's terrible to see what goes on backstage-- those poor bikini-clad or topless women are caged and told to visit Louisiana.

Oh, right, naked women are supposed to represent... tigers. Or something. Seriously-- this an, um, pet issue for us as well. Check out the video:

Top photo via KFC Protest (obviously.) Video, story, and additional photo via this link.

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:54:00 GMT

A Dartmouth student won a small county race in New Hampshire after spending $42 for a Facebook ad trumpeting her campaign. The sore loser called the 20-year-old history buff "a teenybopper" and said the student's supporters were "brainwashed."

Anne Hathaway's ex Raffaelo Follieri is such a whimp, he had a lawyer write a letter complaining about prison food.

You're not going to believe this KKK story...

Not only do they kill one of their own, but then they go into a store and ask the clerk how to get blood off their clothes. Stupidest people on earth?

A group of third graders got the gift of a lifetime after visiting a grocery store as part of a school activity: they were all given copies of a book called "How To Change the World For A Fiver," which turned out to include tips on changing all right-- changing sexual positions. (See above photo.)

Whoopi Goldberg is 53 and Mr. Big is 54.

And that Adrienne Bailon nude photo story? About how some ex leaked them? Bullshit-- she did it herself to boost her career. What else is new?

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While You Were Sleeping: The Facebook Firing

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

It became apparent that a Boston-area football coach was stealing from the school's uniform fund when he made an ATM withdrawal of $500 at 1am while standing next to a strip club.

A teacher in a Daytona-area school district was busted for some sleazy motel sex with her seventeen-year-old male charge.

Miss Louisiana Teen USA lost her title in the most embarrassing way imaginable: for skipping out on a restaurant check (what, they don't pay you enough, toots?) and, adding arrest to injury, leaving her marijuana behind.

David Duchovny filed a lawsuit over that tennis-pro-cheating bullshit story.

We always knew there'd eventual be a news story about some dummy getting busted by their boss for revealing, via a Facebook status update, that they are not actually "sick at home."

[H]e was found out when his boss spotted this Facebook profile update on the day in question, August 21: "Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f*** it I'm still trashed. SICKIE WOO!"

Ha ha, dickweed. Speaking of dickweeds, this guy claimed he was on his way to see Beyonce and that's why a cop shouldn't arrest him for driving like a drunk driver.

A Florida website about politics: "Top 5 reasons McCain could still win." No mention of what our #1 reason would be: "FLORIDA."

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I Love Myself For Loving You: Patricia Clarkson

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:20:00 GMT

We were flipping through the channels yesterday when we came across future two-time Emmy-winning actress and southern belle Patricia Clarkson in her breakout screen role: The Dead Pool, opposite Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry. It actually made us, for the first time in ages, sit through even a moment of a movie edited (and censored) for television.

The most amazing thing about Clarkson's good looks and talents isn't that they are still of the highest caliber, it's that they seem to be even stronger now...

Compare the picture of Clarkson above, who turns 49 at the end of this year, taken recently, with this clip from The Dead Pool, from two decades ago. Isn't Clarkson, who went on to star in The Station Agent, All the King's Men, and Good Night and Good Luck, as well as Six Feet Under, hotter now than most Hollywood movie stars in their supposed "prime?"

And, of course... this is all just an excuse to post Clint Eastwood movies dubbed in Spanish. So much funnier!

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While You Were Sleeping: The Porn Collage

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Is eugenics still being practiced in Louisiana? A politician there wants to give women $1,000 to tie their tubes in order to reduce the welfare rolls.

Although Shia LaBeouf's license is going to be suspended, he won't be charged with a DUI in his recent car crash.

Which American celebrity is Damien Hirst's latest, humiliated subject?

A well-known British artist who has made collage portraits of President Bush and Paris Hilton out of porn magazine images is exhibiting the pictures at a gallery in New York.
A gallery spokeswoman says Jonathan Yeo's portrait of Hilton was bought by the artist Damien Hirst ahead of Thursday's opening.

Hirst is offering Hilton a cut of the sales because she never received "royalties" from her sex tape. Huh? Whatever.

Will Sarah Michelle Gellar return to television? For HBO?!

You thought it made sense for that woman to sleep with a cop to get out of a speeding ticket? This guy would have to have marry the cop to get out of his two million bucks in parking tickets.

Some gas station owner in Michigan dropped prices and made up the difference selling T-shirts.

JP Morgan will buy Washington Mutual.

Planned Parenthood doesn't quite understand how, but it's getting thousands of donations in Sarah Palin's name. It wouldn't be so weird if, um, Sarah Palin supported anything PP stood for.

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This Week In Gayness: Sam Ronson's Gay Tell-All About Lindsay?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:42:00 GMT

Any idea why more same sex couples are raising kids in the Bronx than any other borough in New York City?

San Diego Harbor Police were ruled to have committed a homicide in the death of a gay man on a pride cruise in July.

The Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal (R), is letting protections for gay and lesbian workers expire:

"I don't think it is necessary to create additional special categories or special rights," Jindal told reporters Wednesday. State and federal law already prohibits discrimination, he said.

If the state already protects those rights, as you claim, then why did everyone except you feel it was necessary to implement them? Scumbag.

Gays will be banned from taking in foster kids under a law likely to pass in Arkansas.

A woman was ejected from a Federal building in LA, where she had gone to pick up her son's social security card, after a guard objected to her shirt, which read: "lesbian.com."

And Michael Lohan, ever Lindsay's hero, says his daughter should break up with Sam Ronson because the DJ is a user:

A source tells Eonline, "She's certainly telling friends she's planning to write a book. It's supposed to be about her, allegedly. But come on, you know Lindsay will be all over that book. She's the only one people want to read about."
And the rumours have infuriated Lohan's father, who claims the DJ is just using his daughter to get her own slice of fame.
He says, "I've shut up about this long enough. She's using my daughter. People never even knew who Samantha Ronson was until she met Lindsay. She was just some Los Angeles DJ. And now she's writing a book?
"Let's just say I hope Lindsay starts opening her eyes and realises who the people using her are."

Via WENN.

Samantha Ronson and Her Trusty Fingers Take Care of Lindsay Lohan

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Weirdo of the Day: San Francisco's "No Sex" Protestor

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Who is Owen Dias and why doesn't he want people to have sex?

Five days a week since 1986, Dias has parked himself on that fire hydrant (see above) with his trusty sign and taunts of "No sex!" and "No sloppy seconds!" (Not even Scanner's Sloppy Seconds, Owen?)

Owen and his sign define unlawful sex as anything other than a “virgin man and a virgin women” in marriage (read: he or she who has masturbated or looked upon another in lust is no longer a virgin). If you’ve had any other type of nooky, he says the only way you can get right with the Lord is to stop having sex for the rest of your days.

Best of all, Dias is certainly an expert on the evils and perils of sex because... wait, he's a 71-Year-Old Virgin?!

“I’ve never had sex in my whole life,” the 71-year-old boasts in his round, rolling accent that sounds vaguely like he’s from the Louisiana bayou. “Never masturbated in my whole life either. Since I came out of my mother’s womb.”

Ewww... we never want to read "masturbated" and "my mother's womb" in the same sentence again.

A chunky teenage kid with braces snapped a photo. “It’s hilarious,” the kid said, “and true.” Dias was obviously pleased: “A young kid that thinks it’s also true.” Of course, the kid also announced he was from Maryland.

We all know what that kid will be doing in two or three years, especially since he's from Maryland...

Via SFWeekly.

Scanner Roundtable: Supreme Court Rules Against Executions For Child Rape

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:35:00 GMT

Yesterday, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled, by a 5-4 margin (as usual), that the death penalty cannot be used on rapists who do not commit murder.

This immediately affects a case in Louisiana, but Texas was prepared for this possibility.

The decision does not entirely overturn Jessica's Law in Texas, the statute named after Jessica Lunsford, a Florida girl who was abducted and killed in 2005. The ruling invalidates the Texas death provision, but legislators created a fallback position in the statute: Life without parole would apply if capital punishment for child rape was outlawed.

We're against the death penalty in every form, mainly because the idea of someone rotting in prison, closed up in a cubicle the size of our closet for decades on end seems way more fitting for a murderer than a few years in prison and then a quick, possibly painful death. And we read Dead Man Walking when we were about 13, so that could have something to do with it.

What do you think? Did the Supreme Court make the right call or are they whimps? Should the death penalty be legal at all?

Via the Dallas Morning News.

David Vitter: "Thank Christ You Forgot About Me"

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:20:00 GMT

David Vitter wants y'all to forget he's a Republican Senator who hired hookers for more than a decade, while married to his equally conservative wife. But we haven't forgotten about one of the world's biggest hypocrites, who famously said Spitzer's sleeping with prostitutes while in office was a totally different story from his own sleeping with prostitutes while in office...

Well, then... allow us to reintroduce an old friend of ours, Louisiana Republican Senator David Vitter. Remember him? He's the second-rate Eliot Spitzer who was in a DC Madam's Little Black Book when the DC Madam accidentally let in a rowdy bunch of Feds, even though they didn't know the secret password.

Here in New Orleans, they haven't forgotten Vitter, who has been given an "F" rating from Middle Class Voter, and a local version of the Onion has a hilarious attack piece on him...

First, let's remind you that this self-proclaimed champion of Family Values is, according to Wikipedia

a staunch supporter of... pro-life to pro-gun rights while legislating against same-sex marriage, family planning funding for abortion providers, gambling, increases in the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) program, the United Nations and amnesty for illegal immigrants.

The New Orleans Levee, an admittedly low-budget parody rag, has exposed the hardcore conservative as a money-grubbing meathead with an affinity for barely-legal Hustler Club girls, as this picture of the staff at his 500K fundraiser reveals:

This is one brazen mofo. And with many of the state's Democrats displaced due to that hurricane and the mismanagement thereof by the leader he so blindly supports, Louisiana is going to have to put up with these shenanigans until at least 2017, when North America will be buried under forty feet of water.

Read more about Vitter and his exploits at the New Orleans Levee.

Who Would You Rather (Bring Down With A Political Sex Scandal)?

Katie Halper — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:15:00 GMT

Obviously, Eliot Spitzer was not the first, nor will he be the last, politician to "go down" because of a sex scandal. For better or for worse, Spitz is being compared to Louisiana Senator David Vitter, a patron of the Canal Street Madam. (I'd say for worse, since Vitter still hasn't resigned and, for some reason, the Justice Dept, which was so concerned with Spitzer's transgressions, never paid any attention to Vitters') But, since the issue has "come up," we thought we'd ask you to compare the two.

So who would you rather be scandalized by? Would you rather humiliate the Republican rabble-rouser Vitter (seen here demonstrating his signature spank move)? Or corrupt the anti-corruption campaigner (seen here picking a prostitute) until begs for forgiveness and offers to resign? What's your vote?