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Maine Becomes The Sixth State to Legalize Gay Marriage... If You Don't Count That Whole California Debacle

Emily Farris — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:34:00 GMT

Today Maine became the fifth state in the U.S. to legalize gay marriage (you know if you don't count that whole on-again, off-again California thing). Governor John Baldacci signed the same-sex marriage bill passed by the state legislature, saying he changed his mind.

Baldacci said he reversed his position on gay marriage after deciding it was a matter of equal protection under the state’s Constitution.

“It’s not the way I was raised and it’s not the way that I am,” the governor said in a telephone interview. “But at the same time I have a responsibility to uphold the Constitution. That’s my job, and you can’t allow discrimination to stand when it’s raised to your level.”

Our super-stylish hat's off to you Governor Baldacci. Now if only New York's Governor Paterson could guide the State Senate toward the rainbow-colored light. Oh, wait...

[New York Times: Maine Governor Signs Same-Sex Marriage Bill]

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Maine Wood Frogs More Despreate For Sex Than We Are

Emily Farris — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:59:00 GMT

It turns out that a colony of wood frogs in Maine are more desperate for sex than we are. The 2 to 2 1/2-inch frogs that quack like ducks are in some serious trouble. You see, once they come out of hibernation, the little guys and gals have what they call "Big Night." It's their annual spring mating ritual, and it generally coincides with the first warm spring rain. But up in northern Maine, their favorite orgy pool, "Club Amphibian" is still iced over. And it gets worse.

Unlike some of us who eat too much to make up for the fact that we haven't had sex in, say, five months, wood frogs cannot eat until they've mated.

"There's a little, little bit of open water around the edges, so the animals usually hang out around the edges, waiting to get in," Aram Calhoun, a University of Maine associate professor of wetland ecology and a wetland scientist for Maine Audubon in Orono, said. "Isn't that something? That must be depressing for a cold-blooded animal. You get to the edge of the pool, and the whole bloody thing is frozen and they're probably saying, 'I told you it was too early to go.' There will be a lot of salamander divorces this time of year," she said.

Salamanders, however, apparently have many years to breed while wood frogs need to make it happen. Now. "Wood frogs are explosive breeders, yet they only live 3 to 5 years, so they only have a couple of times, if that, to breed," Calhoun said. "So, they're very anxious. Much more than the salamanders, which live 15 to 20 years."

This might explain why wood frogs are so damn horny:

Salamanders gather congress-style - they all get in the pool together - and do a little courtship dance, and no one gets hurt. With wood frogs, it's not good to be a female. "It's not uncommon for the females to drown, because she has three or four males on top of her," Calhoun said.

Wood frogs are the only frogs she knows of that attempt to mate with non-frog species.To illustrate just how crazy wood frog sex can be, Calhoun's graduate student, Kevin J. Ryan, who is working on his study site in Canterbury, Conn., photographed a wood frog trying to mate with a salamander."We've had wood frogs mating with our data loggers," Calhoun said. "The data loggers, they're in little plastic containers and they're mating with the containers. They don't care. It's just something to put your arms around. It's been a long winter, you know?"

Oh, we know. It has been a long winter.

But back to the frogs... if "Club Amphibian" doesn't thaw soon, they'll most likely move onto a new orgy pool, which, as Calhoun points out, could result in many squished frogs in the road.

Godspeed, little wood frogs!

[Sun Journal: Driven to mate, frogs on the move to orgy pools]

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Topless Coffee Shop Opens In Maine, Not Without Controversy, Bottoms

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:37:00 GMT

We only wish the baristas resembled this 80's lady, but I'm sure they're not quite so "vintage," shall we say...

After months of controversy and protests, the simple coffee shop was finally allowed to open its doors this week in Vassalboro, Maine. The two-item* establishment features topless male and female servers, who are charming and bubbly and refuse to let us photograph them for this blog.

Nonetheless, we find that we can get behind the gimmicky joint...

Despite the fact that this place is nothing more than a meat market at discount prices (as opposed to other meat markets, such as strip clubs and brothels, which would pay the staff a living wage) can be overlooked for one indisputable reason: they are worth supporting because the Puritans are against it.

They aren't against it because people are fornicating in the alleys behind the store and that the property values are going down because of all the drug sales inside. There haven't been and aren't likely to be any of that kind of behavior. This is basically a Hooters with coffee and doughnuts instead of wings and celery sticks; topless waitresses instead of tight t-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination anyway. But check out the quotes a local paper was able to round up from the naysayers:

"I definitely think it's not a good idea. I've lived in town my whole life and we've never had anything like this," Furbush said.
"I don't believe it's going to pan out, not in a small community like this," Breton said. "People move to these small towns because they don't want to deal with bars and adult video stores and a topless coffee shop. It's important for towns to have an ordinance written so things like this can't happen." [Maine Today]

Ms. Furbush-- so, you're against New England Coffee because it represents a change in style from the other establishments in town? Then why do we get the feeling you wouldn't be against a Wal-Mart coming into town? Just saying.

Ms. Breton-- first of all, if you're betting against nudity, we'll take that bet... for any amount of money you're willing to waste. Also, last time we checked (the US Census) people are generally moving away from small towns, for cities more accepting of their liberal/open-minded values. Not everyone thinks God hates their bodies, Breton.

*not those two, silly. And yes, unlike most "topless" coffeehouses in the United States, these women are actually bare-breasted.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

William Zantzinger, subject of the Bob Dylan protest song "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll," died in Maryland of undisclosed causes.

Ian McKellen isn't too upset PBS doesn't have the balls to include the nude scene in their broadcast of his play.

Marilyn Manson is being sued by his ex-bandmate for twenty million dollars. Why do we care? Wait till you hear what Manson apparently spent the band's royalties on...

Bier, otherwise known as Madonna Wayne Gacy, sued Manson for more than $20 million last year, claiming Manson siphoned off millions of dollars in band revenue.

The funds allegedly paid for drugs, assorted Nazi paraphernalia, the cost of Von Teese's engagement ring and the ex-couple's 2005 wedding, and the interior decorating of Manson's mansion, which features a stuffed grizzly bear, a pair of baboons and the skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl. [E!]

Patricia Arquette shilled for PETA.

Sources say pop singer Fergie is getting married this weekend. At last, a wedding the gossip rags aren't going apeshit over.

Kate Winslet said her teenage co-star was "terrified" during their sex scenes together in The Reader. Who can blame him? We'd have made a mess of the whole thing-- repeatedly.

Even though photos prove he was seeing Angelina Jolie on the side while still married, Brad Pitt claims he did not cheat.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not resign before he's impeached, even though a committee voted 21-0 to remove him. It's now in the hands of the State House of Representatives.

And Maine is getting the topless coffee shop! Hooray?

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Are Too Few Baby Boys Being Circumcised?

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:29:00 GMT

According to new research, the number of baby boys being circumcised in the U.S. is dropping. While critics of circumcision may think this is a good thing, the reason behind the drop may not be.

Circumcision rates have decreased significantly since the 1980s, partially due to the fact that many people find the procedure cruel and unnecessary, but in part the drop can be attributed to the fact that 16 states do not currently cover the cost of a circumcision in their Medicad programs. According to some, this is taking the choice away from the poor.

Robert C. Bailey, a professor of epidemiology at the University of Illinois at Chicago, thinks that "It's another way in which our health system is increasing inequality across the population. People who can't afford good health care are essentially being discriminated against by this policy."

The states that don't cover circumcision are: Arizona, California, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, Utah and Washington and circumcision rates are "significantly lower" in those states, according to the research.

[US News & World Report: Circumcision Rates Too Low]

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Happy Birthday: Woman Busted With 16 Grams In Her Vagina

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:52:00 GMT

You're no longer a teenager-- in fact, you've just turned 20 that very day. How do you celebrate your newfound maturity?

If you happen to be a certain woman from Maine, you drive to Massachusetts, score 16 grams of coke, stuff it all in her vagina, then drive back home with a wanted criminal who doesn't even know how to spell the word "Jonathan."

We're serious about the name thing:

Sans was stopped Oct. 25 at 6 p.m. for driving 69 miles per hour on a 45-mile-per-hour stretch of Interstate 95, and when asked by Trooper Chris Storm to identify himself, he said his name was Jonathan Brackett, state police prosecutor Diane Dubay testified in the District Court Monday. When asked to spell the name, Sans spelled Jonathan, “Jothan,” said Dubay.

With Sans was birthday girl Alicia Kelly, who gave up the dope while she was being booked. Why did Alicia confess to having dope when she wasn't even charged with any crime beforehand? Dumbass Sans again, for no reason at all, gave them up:

Dubay testified that after Sans was read his Miranda rights, he told the trooper he was paid $100 to drive a couple to Massachusetts specifically to buy cocaine.

We look forward to more incompetence from these kooks in 2047, when they'll likely all be paroled...

Via Seacoast Online.

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Skinny Dip Sandwich Free To All Plungers

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:42:00 GMT

Three hungry people are in trouble with John Q. Law after taking a nude dive for a free "Skinny Dip Sandwich" outside the Greenville, Maine's Black Frog Restaurant...

Our first thoughts: They should probably call it the Jerk Chicken or the Pulled Pork Sandwich and include a Matzoh Ball soup...

Last weekend, three amigos in their 20s and 30s, two males and a female, in fact, entered the Black Frog and asked proprietor Leigh Turner if they could have the free Skinny Dip Sandwich. Turner told them, "Sure, just let me check with the 40 or 50 diners..."

Remarkably, they all said yes...

Of course, that never stopped party poopers like the Greenville Police, led by crusading Chief Scott MacMaster[bater!], who is making sure the trio get a court date next month. He said a lone family that just happened to be standing right right there

was offended and contacted police.

Whiners. They remind us of the one woman in Michigan or someplace who represented most of the complaints that led to all of Howard Stern's million-dollar fines. Hey Puritans-- suck on this NSFW!

...NSFW penises ahead!

Via WMTV.

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While You Were Sleeping: The iPhone Crisis

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:42:00 GMT

Nude and stoned protesters rolled through a small Maine town in a pimped-out truck, complete with a jacuzzi and topless men and women and a man wearing fairy wings and shouting through a megaphone: "We smoke pot. We like it a lot." Predictably, the name of the town is Norway.

Israel's Prime Minister believes he's close to entering into a peace agreement with Palestine. He added that it's a lot easier when you tell them it's a contract for The Amazing Race.

Joss Whedon and Neil Patrick Harris are returning to the small screen. The really small screen.

One of the Golden Girls weighed in on the Presidential race. You can only stop holding your breaths now.

The Who were honored by a bunch of bands that sometimes actually rock hard, including Pearl Jam and the Flaming Lips. We'd still kill to see The Who, while at least two of them are still alive, just once...

We're really proud of Usher. And Nas, too.

Is it wrong to shrug off the death of a middle-aged man from cancer, just because he aided and abetted war criminals? Former Bush press secretary Tony Snow died over the weekend at the age of 53.

According to MTV, Friday's launch of the new iPhone was "plagued by long waits, phone shortages, and activation problems." This is what you get, people, for signing up with AT&T.

Anyone have an iPhone story to share?