Scanner : mariah carey

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson Is In Trouble Now

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:11:00 GMT

Everyone's saying Obama brought down the house at the "nerd prom," aka the White House Correspondents Dinner, but really, it was Wanda Sykes who killed. She even landed good terrorism and abstinence jokes.

Ashton Kutcher got punk'd.

Star Trek shocked the movie industry by grossing over $72 million in its opening weekend.

Justin Timberlake brought it back to SNL.

It costs two cents more to mail a letter now, as if you still mail letters.

Mel Gibson may have impregnated his mistress. Yes, the guy who directed The Passion of the Christ.

The 9.6 million dollar text message.

Eminem has gone to war against... Mariah Carey?

Steven Soderbergh and Sasha Grey are on tour promoting their movie and are constantly having to defend porn.

Sloppy Seconds: 'Saved by the Bell' Reunion

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 23:02:00 GMT

We would like to preface these very sloppy seconds by telling you we think these things are true. But you know how media outlets like to play April Fool's jokes. Ugh.

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has been voted off of "Dancing with the Stars." [Yahoo!]

Chris Brown has an entire women's basketball team to beat up. [Us]

Mariah Carey celebrated her 40th birthday with husband Nick Cannon. In other news Mariah Carey is 40! [People]

Kim Kardashian is taking legal action against the porno "Keeping Up With the KardASSians." [FadedYouth]

Jimmy Fallon planned to reunite the entire cast of "Saved by the Bell" (yes!) but failed (noooo!). [Vulture]

Hot or Not: 41-Year-Old Cheerleader Hopeful?

Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Do you hate us for even asking?

The Internets were abuzz this weekend with talk (and a picture) of 41-year-old Shelly Lawlor who showed up for the New England Patriots' open cheerleader auditions on Saturday.

No, Lawlor probably doesn't have the body she used to, and dear God, she should have gone with different bottoms, but we give her props for being one of 300 women (many of whom looked and were dressed exactly alike) to audition—even if there are probably a plethora of reasons she wouldn't make the cut (for starers, that shit is hard; you have to be in scary shape to do those moves). Sure, she might have avoided some unwanted (or wanted?) attention by not auditioning, but we commend Lawlor for not being a Botoxed, tummy-tucked 40-something and being proud of it.

Picture after the jump...

We say with the right outfit (she is certainly not wearing the right outfit in this picture) hot!

We have to wonder though: was she trying to make a statement or was she like one of those American Idol hopefuls who think they sing like Mariah Carey? Maybe it's neither, she might just have some smooth moves. She sure looks like she knows what she's doing.

What say you, Scanner readers?

Woman Steals Daughter's Identity to Become a High School Cheerleader

Nude High School Cheerleader Scandal is Disturbing for a Few Reasons

[Image, Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Carrie Underwood's Dress Was Too Short

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 14:41:00 GMT

Say hello the new iPhone.

What insurance company allowed Clive Owen to run through a market in Istanbul while pointing a gun?

Ah, Lily Allen, here's an even better way to use Google: to find out why Miley Cyrus hates Chinese people.

The woman in the Italian Terri Schiavo debate has died. And things are only getting uglier...

What do you do when the restaurant you patronize has run out of lemonade? If you're this guy, you dial 911.

Carrie Underwood thinks there is such a thing as a dress that's "too short." The men of this nation beg to differ.

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are back together.

And Nick Cannon, who is somehow married to Mariah Carey, will host "Got Talent." Insert your "yeah, but he doesn't" riffs here.

While You Were Sleeping: Mariah Carey's Big Movie Surprise

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

A topless revue that played the Tropicana in Vegas for almost half a century has shut down.

Crazy Courtney Love is "not anti-semitic," according to the Jews.

Remember that family that waited twelve years to report their adopted son's disappearance? Surprise, they are now facing murder charges.

Can you believe today is the last day of the Bush presidency? It all went by so fast... ha ha ha. Did you notice how we never once, in the eight years since he stole the election, referred to him as "President Bush?" He'll always be an asterisk to us.

Don't ever trust ultra-conservative Fox to live up to their ultra-conservative grandstanding when it comes to your naked photos-- they'll gladly exploit them for ratings.

Yet another reason Jimmy Fallon's late night show is gonna blow goats.

Here's the real surprise of the Sundance Film Festival: Mariah Carey is getting very strong reviews... and by strong, we don't mean "strongly-worded diatribes." Could this be the beginning of her biggest success of all?

And our new Mrs. Vice President reveals her husband was offered his choice of the #2 job or Secretary of State.

Naked Man Banned From Playing with His (Bowling) Balls

Wonder Woman Somehow More Wonderous If Covered in Body Paint

While You Were Sleeping: John Mayer vs. Jimmy Fallon?

Top 5 Celebrities Who May Or May Not Be Attractive: Part One

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:43:00 GMT

You ever hear a friend raving and drooling about a celebrity that you check out and say, "Why the hell are you attracted to that person?" (Fess up, Backstreet Boys anti-fans.)

Sometimes it's the media trying to make a hottie out of a starlet or reality show contestant forced on them by an overworked publicist. Or it's a massively successful makeup team turning a Plain Jane/Joe into a model so that the readers of Us Weekly can reassure themselves that they, too, can be prince(sse)s.

First up: the Ladies Edition.

5. Ivanka Trump. The fact that she's even related to the Donald is strike one-- strike two are the similar features to him, which is too creepy for us. Nonetheless, she's classy, self-assured, and apparently without a monstrous ego, which is more than we can say for most people.

4. Angie Stone. Great singer, looks snazzy in a hat, and her music doesn't depress the shit out of us. That's all gotta account for something. But, as with the rest of these choices, we can't decide whether she's attractive or not.

3. Mariah Carey. This would've been a no-brainer if we'd showed a screenshot of her video for the "Fantasy" single (maybe it's being brought up on The Dukes of Hazzard, but we've always had a thing for jean shorts and short shorts), but nowadays, with the fake boobs, terrible movies, and the other fiascos, we're not feelin' it anymore...

2. Nicky Hilton. We're learning toward the "not" on the "Hot or Not" scale of things, but it does help that she has beautiful eyes and is not her sister in almost every imaginable way, which probably makes her more appealing than she would be otherwise.

1. Alanis Morrisette. How many times have you gone out with someone and kept it going because you thought the person was an awesome conversationalist and you didn't want to lose that? That's the likely predicament we'd find ourselves in if we ever ended up dating Alanis-- she's well-read, world weary, and able to hold her own over a couple of vodka cranberry's until the wee hours... which may be why we'd rather best friend her than anything else. (Con: She dated Ryan Reynolds. Ouch.)

(P.S. We didn't include Britney Spears on this list because there's no question that she is not currently appealing on any level.)

What do you think? Are we crazy for not wanting to get it on with all these very pretty women? And who did we miss?

Top photo (of Charlize Theron) via Esquire. By the way, in case you were wondering, Charlize Theron is unquestionably hot.

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Today It's Porn Vs. Halloween For Kevin Smith

Caption This: Mariah Carey is Gon' Cut Rachael Ray

Emily Farris — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:01:00 GMT

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Don't Drink The Drinking Water, People

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 13:26:00 GMT

Poor Anne Hathaway, and we don't mean that in a mocking way: she had to hand over all the lovely jewels her ex gave her... because they were allegedly purchased with stolen funds. (We hate it when that happens.) Meanwhile, the suave gangster paramour of hers faces at least five years in prison and is still in jail, pending a million dollars' bond, and rumored to be working on a plea deal.

If you're a poll kind of person (we're kind of not), here are 19 new ones on the Presidential race. Quickly: McCain leads in Alabama, Georgia, Idaho, and Wyoming; Obama leads in Colorado, Michigan, and Pennsylvania; and they're tied in Nevada, North Carolina, and Ohio.

And who will be the surprise special guest during Michael Phelps' hosting of SNL this weekend?

According to People, Sen. Barack Obama will appear on Saturday Night Live this weekend. Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps will be guest hosting the show.

Said an Obama spokesman: "The details of the sketch are still being worked out."

We hope it's funnier than the last one, which was super obvious and involved Halloween masks and his "surprise" appearance. Lame.

We're absolutely amazed that someone gave Mariah Carey another movie. Not that we don't like her or anything-- we're just stating the truth.

We still can't get over this story from yesterday's Sloppy Seconds (click here): Lauren Conrad has landed a book deal. Oh my God, what's next, a clothing line?!

And the scariest headline of the morning: Trace drugs found in water could affect 46 million

Headline that sounds scary but thankfully isn't: 9-Year-Old Girl Delivers Baby Brother

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: The Nightmare on Elm Street Remake

While You Were Sleeping: Jessica Alba's Bondage Ad

Sloppy Seconds: Kanye West's Arrest

Hey Rev. Jeremiah Wright: Your Sex Scandal Is Not Helping

While You Were Sleeping: Which TV Female Character Do You Wanna Be?

Video of the Day: Mariah Carey Tells Her Back-Up Singer to "Stop Singing My Part"

Emily Farris — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:16:00 GMT

A super skinny Mariah Carey kicked off Good Morning America's Summer Concert Series this week with a performance of "Touch My Body," from her new album. We weren't sure if she was lip syncing until the seriously awkward moment around 3:08 when she tells her back-up singer to "stop singing my part." Did she think America wouldn't notice so early in the morning?

Sloppy Seconds: Is Jenna Jameson Moving from Porn to Politics?

Emily Farris — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:41:00 GMT

Soccer moms across America would drunkenly make out with Jackie from Bravo's "Work Out." You know, if they had to choose a lady to make out with. [Fleshbot]

If you are one of those moms and would like to see Jackie's digitally-enhanced nipples, go here. [CityRag]

There are so, so many things wrong with the idea of R. Kelly remixing a Mariah Carey track. So, so many. [MTV]

Jude Law is losing his hair. He is still hot as hell. If not hotter. Little Jude is growing up. [FameCrawler]

No, Jenna Jameson isn't runnung for office (sorry), but she is dipping her toes in the political waters, or so she thinks. [GabbyBabble]