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Sloppy Seconds: Which Olsen Twin Would Like You to Put a Baby in Her?

Emily Farris — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:23:00 GMT

A reader sent us this video about what will happen if we don't vote on November 4. It's like our own worst nightmare. Really. [CNNBC]

What happens when a bunch of really smart women (including some Nerve writers) get together to talk about online dating? Utter hilarity. And sad, sad truths. [The Morning News]

Philip Seymour Hoffman is the proud papa of a baby girl. That's going to be one cool kid. [DailyIntel]

Unfortunately even Gay Aiken couldn't save "Spamalot" from closing down at the end of the year. [Yahoo!]

We're sure you've heard about Sarah Palin's $150,000 wardrobe by now, right? [People]

Ashley Olsen wants to get married, Mary Kate, on the other hand, does not. [Us]

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Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Is there even more "Sex and the City" in our future? [Us]

If you're just dying to hear Britney Spears' new single "Womanizer," here: [Radar]

Thank the God in heaven (who we don't really believe in): Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving The View (that we don't really watch) for Fox News (which we absolutely don't watch). [PopCrunch]

Is there trouble in Olsen Twin paradise? But not double trouble (har, har). [MollyGood]

Cynthia Nixon is very pleased with Brad Pitt these days. [People]

"It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win," according to Woody Allen. [Yahoo!]

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Ben Kingsley Takes a Turn Babysitting Mary-Kate Olsen's Vagina

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:48:00 GMT

We saw The Wackness this weekend. It was, as we expected, the wackness. Imagine Method Man with a really bad Jamaican accent, Ben Kingsley with an unidentifiable Eastern European accent, and Mary-Kate Olsen with dreadlocks and Ben Kingsley pressed hotly against her in a phone booth. Yeah. Gross.

BUT, as you'll recall, Kingsley isn't the only older dude to babysit Mary-Kate Olsen's vagina -- Will Arnett from Arrested Development took some time out of his busy schedule to sexually compromise the famous twin on MTV's Human Giant. As both of these caretakers show, it's a surprisingly hairy ordeal. For old times' sake, check the video after the jump.

Mary Kate Olsen Receives Death Threats from Heath Ledger Fans

Emily Farris — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:42:00 GMT

Mary Kate Olsen has been receiving death threats from Heath Ledger fans who blame her for his death.

“A lot of people who knew Heath and Mary-Kate in his last months know that they were partying together constantly, it wasn’t hard to connect the dots and run a line between Heath hooking up with Mary-Kate and his sad decline,” a celebrity mole reveals in a new tabloid report.

“One crazed fan sent her threatening letters. Another made menacing phone calls,” according to a friend of the actress. “Mary-Kate’s gotten more reclusive, paranoid and afraid to walk the streets than ever.”

We never thought we'd say this, but poor Mary Kate Olsen.

[FameCrawler via PopCrunch]

People Sets the Record Straight About Mary-Kate Olsen's Link to Heath Ledger at the Time of His Death, And It's Not That Exciting

Emily Farris — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:47:00 GMT

When Ledger's masseuse showed up at his apartment to give him a massage and he was unresponsive, she used the speed dial on Ledger's phone to call Olsen. The masseuse apparently knew they were friends and thought this was the right thing to do. So there.

[People: Mary-Kate Olsen's Link to Heath Ledger Case]