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While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson Is In Trouble Now

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:11:00 GMT

Everyone's saying Obama brought down the house at the "nerd prom," aka the White House Correspondents Dinner, but really, it was Wanda Sykes who killed. She even landed good terrorism and abstinence jokes.

Ashton Kutcher got punk'd.

Star Trek shocked the movie industry by grossing over $72 million in its opening weekend.

Justin Timberlake brought it back to SNL.

It costs two cents more to mail a letter now, as if you still mail letters.

Mel Gibson may have impregnated his mistress. Yes, the guy who directed The Passion of the Christ.

The 9.6 million dollar text message.

Eminem has gone to war against... Mariah Carey?

Steven Soderbergh and Sasha Grey are on tour promoting their movie and are constantly having to defend porn.

PapSmeared: The Passion of Mel Gibson Steps Out

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 14:44:00 GMT

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While You Were Sleeping: The Revenge of Levi Johnston

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:02:00 GMT

The IMF says we'll have to stick it out one more year before an economic recovery.

Japanese boy bands are all growing up and getting naked and drunk and arrested.

The third Twilight film will be directed by a man. Man, woman, Werner Herzog-- no matter what gender is at the helm, it's still going to blow.

Mel Gibson's alleged mistress is keeping a sex diary comparing all the different men she's slept with.

Rick Ross claims rapper 50 Cent is finished. Woo hoo! Can we finish off the rest of these no-talent top 40 artists along with him?

Levi Johnston has gone from being the #1 puppet in the Palin VP campaign to the biggest threat to her 2012 chances.

The new American family: Dad robs people, Mom drives the getaway minivan, and the kids play inside the car.

This sounds like one kickass documentary.

"Dog" the Bounty Hunter was nearly killed in Colorado after a suspect shot at him during an attempted arrest.

And Lindsay Lohan is dating dudes again-- this time, Brits are on her hit list.

Mel Gibson's Mistress Begins the Obligatory Photo Leak Phase of Her Stardom

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 21:33:00 GMT

Who is Oksana Pochepa and why is she, of all the women in Mel Gibson's life since his 28-year-long marriage began, the one to break up his happy union?

According to ShowBizSpy:

Oksana Pochepa claims that she had a romantic relationship with the 53-year-old actor and has now fallen in love.
“This is serious and I hope that our union will be real and strong and long-lasting,” she told British tabloid The Sun.
Pochepa also confirmed that she is the mystery brunette photographed kissing Gibson on a Costa Rican beach in March.
And according to Us Weekly, Gibson met Oksana last August when she was hired to compose a song for the actor’s upcoming thriller Edge of Darkness.

Wait, she's so big that American film producers asked her, a young Russian pinup, to compose a song for their major Hollywood blockbuster? Something's fishy about her story, and we won't know until either a) Mel Gibson breaks his silence or b) the men with butterfly nets take her off to a secret KGB warehouse for brainwashing. No?

By the way, based on these photos alone, would she be able to break up your marriage?

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While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson's Mistresses

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 13:31:00 GMT

Why are there snakes on this motherfuckin' plane?

Child labor is real and undeniably so after these photographs.

A woman turned the tables on a man who tried to rob her: she made him her sex slave.

Hey that woman from the Dominos story turns out to be a sex offender.

Will Ferrell did Man Vs. Wild.

The stupidest quote of the year is officially Hulk Hogan saying he "totally understands OJ."

Another reason to not get implants: the doctor might be using veterinary equipment.

Rush Limbaugh's ten dumbest quotes. How ever did they narrow it down? How ever did they listen to it long enough to hear all these?

And the Mel Gibson mistresses are starting to come out of the works.

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Mel Gibson's Wife Comes to Her Senses, Files for Divorce

Emily Farris — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:31:00 GMT

There was a time when Mel Gibson was a sexy man. That time was long ago. In fact, it was probably around 1980 when he married his wife Robyn. While all (perceived) sex appeal went out the door for us when he went all crazy Christian warrior a few years ago, Robyn was able to hold out a little longer. But she, too, has her limits.

After 28 years of marriage, Robyn GIbson filed a petition for divorce in Los Angeles citing irreconcilable differences. The petition doesn't give any details about the break-up and according to Yahoo!, Mrs. Gibson is only seeking jewelry, other property and joint custody of their 9-year-old-son.

Apparently, not even the Passion of Mel Gibson is enough to keep a marriage alive. But whatever, Mel is born. Mel is risen. Mel will come again.

Related:

Bearded No-No of the Week: Mel Gibson's Chin Pubes

Take a Costa Rican Holiday with Britney and Mel Gibson

Sloppy Seconds: What Are Britney Spears and Mel Gibson Doing with a Cigar?

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Bearded No-No of the Week: Mel Gibson's Chin Pubes

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:49:00 GMT

Poor Mel Gibson. He just can't seem to do anything right these days, especially when it comes to his facial hair. First there was this. Then this. But neither is quite as offensive as Gibson's latest, um, growth.

Gibson claims this "beard" is for a super-secret project he's filming, but we're having a really, really hard time figuring out what this project might be.

Related:

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Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

(Thanks, Scanner Colleen!)

Top 5 Chase Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:12:00 GMT

While we were working on today's story about the car chase that ended in a car crash involving another, unrelated stolen car, we started thinking about the favorite argument of many a film buff: what is the greatest chase scene of all-time? Bullit? The French Connection? Toy Story?

Here are our five favorites, with enough pedal to the metal to kick your five-day week into high gear...

5. The Road Warrior. No action movie since this film's release in 1982 has come close to its quality. One of the reasons for this is the chase scene, which you only need to see once to remember in such detail. (Warning: this is gritty stuff.)

4. Bullit. Usually, this is ranked as the #1 movie chase scene, although we couldn't get past the fact that the film surrounding this sequence is plodding and uninvolving. But hey, there's a reason every action film set in the Bay Area since the 60s has stolen from this. (That means you, The Rock.) By the way, check out that dude's driving gloves! And hey, is that Goldfinger riding shotgun?

3. The French Connection. A crazed French assassin tries to escape the clutches of Mean Gene Hackman-- but the Frenchman has underestimated Hackman's insane desire to catch him. This is the formula for this chase scene from the 1971 William Friedkin film (he also directed our #1 pick), which many people believe was a basically unplanned sequence. Watching it again so many years later, it's hard to imagine this was staged, even by a crazy auteur like Friedkin-- we doubt a stunt driver would have agreed to plow through pedestrians like this without some kind of safeguards in place.

2. Mad Max - the opening ten minutes of this movie made Mel Gibson a star. Watch them now, complete with one of the best and longest police chases outside of the Los Angeles Metropolitan area...

1. To Live and Die in L.A. When we think of chases, we think of near-misses, lots of lane changes and side streets, huge pileups... and going the wrong way on the freeway. Uh oh.

Other greats include: Ronin, every scene of Vanishing Point and Two-Lane Blacktop, and The Getaway, also with Steve McQueen. Add yours in the comments...

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8 Honest (But Photoshopped) Celebrity Memoir Covers

Ina Maier — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:16:00 GMT

Celebrities have this nasty habit of writing autobiographies that really read more like a James Frey memoir. Holy Taco took it upon themselves to put mock up some covers for celebrity autobiographies that are, well, a little more truthful.

We're not going to reprint their post in it's entirety, but have instead pulled out a few of our favorites. Mario Lopez (above) comes in at the 7 spot, while Stedman (below) opens up the list at number 8.

We then have Manny "I'm-kind-of-fat-and-mostly-lazy" Ramirez at #4.

And our personal favorite, everyone's least favorite anti-semite: Mel Gibson. (#6, in case you were wondering.)

View the rest, including Spencer Pratt, Tori Spelling, and Matthew McConaghey over at Holytaco.com. What do you think? Anyone missing? Feel free to give us the celeb and the title in the comments. This is gonna be fun.

Sloppy Seconds: What Are Britney Spears and Mel Gibson Doing with a Cigar?

Emily Farris — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:13:00 GMT

Kate Beckinsale might be the most hilarious actress in Hollywood. "You don't want your little peas sticking out, do you?" What ever could she be referring to? [GabbyBabble]

What's more precious than young people finding love? Old people finding love. Then doin' it. [Slate]

The newly-made-over, sorta-sexy Strawberry Shortcake kind-of freaks us out. [Jezebel]

If Queen Latifah is a lesbian, she might be planning to wed her long-time girlfriend in California soon. [Jossip]

Mass dolphin suicide is the saddest thing we've heard all day. [Guardian]

Vaginal reconstruction surgery in Europe sounds... painful. [NYT]

Hulk Hogan proves on Larry King that strong men also cry. [MollyGood]

Mel Gibson and Britney Spears apparently had a smokin' date at an exclusive cigar club. But it was all business, like most meetings involving an older man, a troubled young woman and a cigar. Mmhmm. [People]

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What's Cuter than Old People Writing About Young Peoples' Sex Lives? Nothing

Bill O'Reilly Erotica For Old Times' Sake

Katie Halper — Wed, 14 May 2008 20:15:00 GMT

Bill O'Reilly's recently released outburst has inspired us to republish some of his sexiest literary outbursts. So we present part one of our two-part series on Bill O'reillyrotica. This gem comes from Bill's titillating novel, Those who Trespass (ISBN 0-7679-1381-7).

Those who Trespass: A Novel of Murder and Television is O'Reilly's timeless classic, which is just as sexy today as it was when it was published in 1998. In fact, O'Reilly knows it's a hot item and describes it as an "R-rated thriller" that's "not for children, not for adults who find strong situations objectionable." Mel Gibson, who knows a good story when he sees one, has already optioned the rights to "The Passion of the O'Reilly." Here's sneak peek into the mind of O'Reilly and the pages of Those who Trespass:

Stripping off her bathing-suit, she walked into the huge shower. She pulled the lime green curtain across the entrance and then set the water for a tepid 75-degrees. The spray felt great against her skin as she ducked her head underneath the nozzle. Closing her eyes she concentrated on the tingling sensation of water flowing against her body. Suddenly another sensation entered. Ashley felt two large hands wrap themselves around her breasts and hot breathe on the back of her neck. She opened her eyes wide and giggled, "I thought you drowned out there snorkel man."

Tommy O'Malley was naked and at attention. "Drowning is not an option", he said, "unless of course you beg me to perform unnatural acts right here in this shower."

We're sure you're already "at attention." But you'll have to come back tomorrow when we present part two of our Bill O'Reillyrotica series to finish off.

Sloppy Seconds: How One Man Got-R-Dun

Emily Farris — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:44:00 GMT

New New York Governor David Paterson may owe his campaign fund $103.87 in principal and interest for monies borrowed during his extra-marital trysts. The Scanner collection plate is headed your way. We can all afford to throw in a few bucks to keep this guy around, right?

A man apparently hanged himself yesterday on a construction site owned by actor/ director/ Christian crusader Mel Gibson. Maybe he thought that he was closer to Jesus on Gibson-owned property?

How did Floyd Beebs come to have "Git-R-Dun" tattooed on his forehead?

Why, he did lots of crystal meth, of course.

Charges have been filed against the Kansas man who allowed his girlfriend to sit on the toilet for two years straight. "The only thing I am guilty of is I didn't get her help sooner," he told the press. Um, yes.

Not only is it the first day of spring, it's Wear a Sweater Day, in honor of Mr. Rogers' 80th birthday. We're going to put on a light cardigan and make the most of this beautiful day.

Scanner : mel gibson

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson Is In Trouble Now

PapSmeared: The Passion of Mel Gibson Steps Out

While You Were Sleeping: The Revenge of Levi Johnston

Mel Gibson's Mistress Begins the Obligatory Photo Leak Phase of Her Stardom

PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

Disabled Girl May Win Runway Model Contest

America's Next Topless Model Is... The Judge

Andy Asks: Facebook or F*ckbook?

Why Marisa Tomei Finally Went Naked

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson's Mistresses

While You Were Sleeping: Blake Fielder-Civil In Trouble Again

American Woman: The Presidential Mistress

While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Barack Obama's "Gay Sex Scandal" Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Mel Gibson's Wife Comes to Her Senses, Files for Divorce

Bearded No-No of the Week: Mel Gibson's Chin Pubes

Take a Costa Rican Holiday with Britney and Mel Gibson

Sloppy Seconds: What Are Britney Spears and Mel Gibson Doing with a Cigar?

Bearded No-No of the Week: Mel Gibson's Chin Pubes

Jeff Bridges Has Looked Better

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

Top 5 Chase Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: Who's #1 on Yahoo?

The 15 Most Promiscuous Countries

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 10-6

While You Were Sleeping: Winona Ryder OD'd

Some Advice for Future Bond Girls: No More Bikinis

8 Honest (But Photoshopped) Celebrity Memoir Covers

Sloppy Seconds: What Are Britney Spears and Mel Gibson Doing with a Cigar?

Kate Beckinsale Would Much Rather F*ck Than Cook

Sloppy Seconds: What? You Didn't Know Barack Obama and Brad Pitt Were Cousins?

What's Cuter than Old People Writing About Young Peoples' Sex Lives? Nothing

Bill O'Reilly Erotica For Old Times' Sake

Sloppy Seconds: How One Man Got-R-Dun