Scanner : michael cera

While You Were Sleeping: More Grey's Anatomy Turmoil

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge had her home broken into by two very bizarre young citizens. In surveillance footage, they can be seen wandering aimlessly from room to room... and back again... and again... without doing much of anything, let alone steal anything or set fire to the place.

Arrested Development: the Movie was finally greenlit, thanks to lazy-assed Michael Cera coming aboard.

This oh-so-adorable young lady was arrested for assaulting her boyfriend's nutsack. Prior to this incident, they had broken up "approximately 20 times," yet she seemed rather surprised to find that the dude had another ladyfriend over for the night.

We were all excited to hear Andy Richter would be rejoining Conan on TV, but it turns out he's just going to be the announcer. Guess Conan's enjoying his solo career.

Can a resident of the UK explain to us why so many Brits use "miles an hour" in their speech? Does it have something to do with the universal use of nautical miles? (Oh, and check out the video we just linked to. The 71-year-old dude quoted in it is our new personal hero.)

The Beatles recorded a version of "Revolution" that was only recently discovered and you really must hear it.

Is McDreamy really leaving the hospital on Grey's Anatomy?

And Maxim men of the world, rejoice: Megan Fox is single again. But before you get any ideas... guess which first name she has tattooed near her crotch? She wouldn't even have to deal with that pesky removal process if she just returned our calls...

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos

Sloppy Seconds: Nine-Year-Old Girl Marries in Texas

Don't Miss the Awesomeness on Late Night's Goodbye Week

Michael Cera Flips Out... Or Does He?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

Is this video of Michael Cera on a movie set a real, leaked clip from a not-so-hidden camera or merely a not-funny parody of the Christian Bale incident?

If it's a fake, Cera's a way better dramatic actor than we thought...

Related:

This Kid Is Sooo Wasted...

Christian Bale's Rage: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Scanner Highs and Lows: We're This Close to Losing it to Sarah Palin

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:29:00 GMT

In a month we'll either get to stop hearing about Sarah Palin forever or we'll be stuck hearing about her for four years. It kind-of feels like that time when you decide you're ready to lose your virginity and just need to find someone to lose it to. You know it's either going to be really great or really terrible, but you just need it to happen already... Right? Anyone?

Highs:

We may have found a man to keep us warm this winter.

And if it doesn't work out with that guy, we might still have a chance with Michael Cera.

If we get really desperate, we got hit on by this guy (even though they guy thought we were Sarah Palin).

We finally got our hands on the Sarah Palin swimsuit competition video.

We were on the local news, and this time there were no microwave dinners in sight.

We heard that Anne Hathaway liked anal. Then that she didn't. Then you told us you like Anal Anne better.

Lows:

We were forced to think of Hugh Hefner as a classy man (damn you, Joe "Boobies" Francis!).

We got in trouble for showing peen and had to take it down. Sorry.

We let ourselves be momentarily amused by Rachael Ray.

We had to listen to Sarah Palin talk for a really long time.

And we saw her nude. Sort of.

This guy gave us nightmares.

We lost a sweet, wonderful, beautiful man.

Michael Cera Doesn't Know He's Famous, Might Still Be My Boyfriend

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:11:00 GMT

How cute is Michael Cera? He doesn't even know he's famous.

"I don’t really want to be famous, and I’m kind of scared that might be happening … I might really have to stop and think before I make decisions now, and see how they’re going to affect my life, and see if it’s what I want to be doing with my life. I guess I need to make sure that it’s worth all that comes with it."

Ahhh! Michael Cera. Will you marry me? We'll run away to a little cabin upstate, or in Montana, or wherever, and we'll grow our own vegetables. And I'll cook us three meals a day and you can impregnate me with 2.5 of your children—you know, when we're a little older.

But, um, would you mind growing a beard? Er, can you?

[MollyGood: Cera Last to Know He's Famous]

Related:

A Scanner Star Is Born and She Will Now Make Michael Cera Flustered and Uncomfortable

Crush of the Week: Ellen Page

Indie Rockers Find the Scruffy, Shambling Man-Heart of "Sex and the City"

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Indie Rockers Find the Scruffy, Shambling Man-Heart of "Sex and the City"

Bryan Christian — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 17:30:00 GMT

Speaking for myself, I've never been a fan of Carrie and her crew. I bought the first season DVD when it came out just to see what was up and, meh, it just never came together for me. How do Scanner Sarah and Nicole feel about the show? Who can say.

What I can say is this: I think we can all get behind these frickin' awesome clips of indie band The Walkmen reading scenes from SATC scripts. (Those two gray speaker/play things just below the tour dates.) Are the readers drunk? Maybe. Certainly they don't give a damn. "Yep, me, James and his tiny penis: we're all one big happy family" will never sound the same again, we promise.

Guess this will have to satisfy our wacky TV performance craving for the week, since it's pretty goddamned unlikely that we're gonna be able to get into the no-longer-secret Writers Guild benefit live performances of 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live at the NY UCB this weekend. The guest host for SNL will be Michael Cera, the thought of which we're guessing will make Sarah's entire spinal column explode. Me, I'm just hoping that the episodes of 30 Rock they do won't have Cerie in 'em. If I can't have her, no one will!

A Scanner Star Is Born and She Will Now Make Michael Cera Flustered and Uncomfortable

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 17:00:00 GMT

We have a confession to make. While we love our glamorous lifestyle of blogging from Brooklyn apartments, 2-for-1 happy hours at Chili's (that awesome blossom is really something!), and pants with elastic waistbands, we've always harbored a secret fantasy of performing in a major motion picture. And now, finally, seriously, we may have a chance! They are casting for extras in the new Michael Cera movie THIS SATURDAY! This could be our ticket out of this one-horse town and straight to Hollywood, USA. Plus, if cast in the movie, we'd be able to achieve our other life goal of corrupting Michael Cera in a sexual manner. We'll probably just bring our box of sex toys and hide in his trailer in case he's ready and willing. (via Best Week Ever)