Scanner : mindy mccready

While You Were Sleeping: Update on the Pole Dancing Video Game

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Check out this fake police I.D. card a man made for himself. You'll note he didn't completely paint over Chipotle's logo...

Mindy McCready capped off a horrible year with a visit to the psych ward following a suicide attempt. Let's hope the new year presents her with a clean slate.

Here's a great robbery story: a guy demanded money from a cashier at a fast food joint. The cashier laughed and said, "Get a job." The guy then pulled a box cutter and asked for the cashier's wallet, a request that was granted. The cashier had no money either, so they robber left and was quickly arrested.

There is mounting left-wing opposition to Obama's choice of Rick Warren to kick off the inauguration. We think Stevie Wonder would make a great substitute preacher.

By the way, if you just got accepted into Northwestern, you might want to read this. (Same for those who got rejected.)

A man went for a joyride with a hearse. The hearse was idling in front of a funeral home, the sick fuck.

Lindsay Lohan had a close call with a crazy. And no, her father didn't show up at her party or anything.

And it looks like the stripping video game for the Wii is on hold. Yeah, they might need to find a developer before they start, um, developing that...

Scanner Highs and Lows: So Long, Good Luck, and Pass the Turkey

Stripper Pole Company Developing Stripping Game For The Wii

This Year's Most Annoying Christmas Commercial

You Missed Out on Santacon Again...

Sloppy Seconds: Matilda Rose Ledger's Big Gift

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 21:21:00 GMT

Britney Spears sex tape. Excuse us while we go throw up the twelve pounds of crab cakes we ate in Baltimore this weekend. [MollyGood]

The economy may be falling to shit, but at least we can still afford Photoshop. [DailyIntel]

The New York Sun (where Scanner Emily got her journalistic start in New York many moons ago) was supposed to close for good today but will put out another issue tomorrow. Maybe, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus. And he loves conservatives. [Reuters]

Country singer Mindy McCready is headed back to jail. [Us]

Lawyers for Heath Ledger's estate are suing over a $10M life insurance policy they claim has gone unpaid since the actor's death. [AP]

However, when everything is settled, Heath's entire estate will go to his daughter with Michelle Williams, Matilda. [People]

Roger Clemens Has A Rocket In His Pocket

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:20:00 GMT

We're supposed to be on vacation this week, but there are too many scandals to ignore. Roger Clemens has been a party to two-- count 'em, TWO!-- in the past 72 hours alone.

According to several major media outlets, beginning with the New York Daily News, Clemens had an affair with golfer John Daly's ex-wife, apparently sometime about ten years ago. The man is like Bill Clinton on ecstasy-- he's just having a great ol' time cheating on his wife at every opportunity.

And let's not forget the highlights from the Clemens-future awful reality show star Mindy McCready story:

1) McCready, a country singer who has been to jail twice in the last few years and is a notorious heavy drinker, began sleeping with Clemens-- allegedly, we are made to say-- at the age of 15.

2) Other sources say they only "went to a hotel together" when she was fifteen and that the relationship began much later, after McCready became a country star. Yeah, we don't buy that either. "Maybe he 'misremembered' what he was doing in those hotel rooms," jokes a reader of USA Today, referring to the infamous and ill-advised testimony Clemens gave to Congress recently.

3) Clemens may have tried to buy McCready's silence with a cool $25,000. Or he could've been, as his spokesperson says, just been "trying to help her out with her legal issues." More like his legal issues-- after all, he's the one who's suing his former personal trainer and righthand man for "defamation of character." Keeping Mindy quiet keeps his case from falling apart in court.

4) McCready's only statement: "I cannot refute anything in the story," which roughly translates to the English words "hell yes."

Via the Chicago Tribune.