Scanner : music

While You Were Sleeping: Sex Scandal Star Fights Porn

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 May 2009 16:34:00 GMT

Bob Dylan has the #1 record in England, making him the oldest musician to ever hold that spot. Although he has had many more top 5 records there than in the United States, it's his first chart-topper since 1970.

Angela Merkel... in her undies?

An eight-year-old girl was finally allowed to divorce her middle-aged husband.

Here's an in-depth look at Masters and Johnson, who may have faked those "gay conversion" studies, as we reported last week.

A look at life under "socialist" European government.

Donna Rice Hughes was half of the sex scandal that doomed Gary Hart's 1988 Presidential campaign. Now, she's back in the spotlight, fighting pornography.

Wanna see someone get waterboarded?

And the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction case drags on.

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Lily Allen Swears off Sex, Won't Stop Teasing Us

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:29:00 GMT

Look, we have no problem if celebrities like Lily Allen want to beg off sex for a while-- hell, at least until we come along. If they're going to do that, we just wish they-- meaning Lily specifically-- would stop showing off ~~their~~ her boobs...

Lily Allen gave an interview, released yesterday, announcing she has decided to remain celibate... to improve her music.

Allen often uses her personal life as inspiration for her hits, but admits she is stuck in a creative rut.

Allen, who has previously dated Chemical Brothers star Ed Simons and art dealer Jay Jopling, is currently single but has decided she won't get involved with any more men, as a sex ban with help her focus on her songs.

According to the Sun, she says, "Sometimes it helps. It's good to get out of your comfort zone and test yourself. I'm just going to see how it goes for a bit. I haven't set a time limit or anything." [Ed. note: Our pick in the betting pool: two hours.]

The singer recently admitted she sometimes deliberately sabotages her relationships in a bid to improve her song-writing: "I've actually broken up with boyfriends for inspiration. When I hit a period of not being able to write music, I get up and I walk away. It's pretty mean - but it's true." [SF Gate]

That didn't stop her from stepping out (as they say in the British tabloids) of a London restaurant the other night in this seethrough dress. Lily Allen, please change your crappy music... but don't change your excellent fashion sense. Evidence here:

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Bust Out the Doc Martens and Flowy Skirts: The Lilith Fair is Back

Emily Farris — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:21:00 GMT

Go ahead, pretend you didn't spend the better part of the nineties singing Sarah McLachlan songs in the shower, but we know better. And if you were as young and poor and uncool as we were, you may have spent the last ten years of your life regretting the fact that you never made it to the Lilith Fair to catch McLachlan, Missy Eliot, Bonnie Rait, Erykah "On and On" Badu, Lisa "You Say I Only Hear What I Want To" Loeb, Paula "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" Cole, Meredith "Bitch" Brooks*, Meshell Ndegeocello, The Cowboy Junkies, and so many, many more amazing female performers. But, after a ten-year hiatus, the Lilith Fair is back. Well, it will be back. In 2010. Terry McBride, chief executive of Nettwerk Music Group made the announcement via Twitter over the weekend. And that's the good news.

The bad news?

So far, Billboard reports, Nettwerk has only planned a two-week tour in the U.K./Europe. (Scanner Colleen, I see an across-the-pond girl date/camping trip in our future.)

Lilithfair.com (which we assume is official) confirms the festival's return, but a basic splash page links only to its Wikipedia entry.

*Speaking of Meredith "Bitch Brooks, we recently heard that song on the radio and couldn't believe how fucking good and ::sigh:: relevant it is, still.

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[Via AfterEllen]

[Image]

Matt and Kim Star in the Sexiest Music Video in Years

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:14:00 GMT

This video is too sexy and scandalous (even with all the MTV censorship) for the front page of Scanner.

You'll have to trust us when we say it's well worth the click and 3:38 of your time...

Lessons Learned

We'll be eternally grateful to the person who gives us the full lowdown on all the obvious questions of the video-- who shot it, when, were these paid extras, was anyone arrested, etc. See, we told you it was worth your 3:38, damn it.

Sure beats the bejesus outta that Alanis Morissette charmer from 1998, doesn't it?

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Joss Stone Had An Ass Slip At Coachella

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:08:00 GMT

Joss Stone, the 22-year-old British soul singer, was added to the lineup of the Coachella just four days prior to her Saturday afternoon performance.

Perhaps she's now regretting not having had enough time to pick out an appropriate outfit for an outdoor peformance on an elevated stage...

This is why it's important to have security turn around once in a while and see what's going on onstage, if only for the performer's sake. As you can see, this is becoming a problem...

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Former Disco Dancer Shocks British TV Audiences With Latest Routine

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:12:00 GMT

A woman whose story reads like a 50's pulp novel survived multiple rapes, beatings from her mother, and a forced performance in a porno to become a disco dancing champion, before retiring to become a housewife. On Saturday night, she staged her second comeback on Britain's Got Talent, the Simon Cowell-run spectacle that has seen some serious competition lately.

But Fabia Cerra takes them all down, easy, in our book-- watch what happens when this polite, nervous size 20 sweetheart does after taking the stage for the live taping...

We apologize for this bootleg-quality YouTube video, but the others have embedding disabled. (You can watch the HQ version here.)

Here's what those pesky Union Jacks were covering up:

See you in the finals, Madame Cerra, although it seems some stuffy Brits won't be tuning in:

Ofcom revealed it has received 39 complaints since the programme aired while a further 40 viewers complained to ITV, according to the Telegraph.

Photos via the Daily Mail.

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Crush of the Week: Lisa Batiashvili

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 20:34:00 GMT

Lisa Batiashvili, the 29- or 30-year-old violinist from the nation of Georgia, played three shows with the New York Philharmonic over the weekend. By the time we heard of and fell in love with her, the available tickets were well out of our price range. That's the problem with going to see opera and classical music-- we'd love to see more of it, but we don't feel we're getting our money's worth at Madison Square Garden prices unless its practically an historic occasion.

Based on the reviews, we missed some stunning performances and, of course, a chance to gape at this very pretty woman...

The SF Gate glows about her new CD:

You have to have a gimmick to put out yet another recording of the Beethoven Violin Concerto, and Georgian violinist Lisa Batiashvili has two dandy ones: She plays the Beethoven without a conductor, "leading" the Deutsche Kammerphilharmonie Bremen in a performance that, for all its rough-hewn muscle, is unified and full of rhetorical flair; and she includes an odd but fascinating curtain-raiser, a group of six orchestral miniatures by Georgian composer Sulkhan Tsintsadze. These pieces (written for string quartet and arranged by the violinist's father, Tamas Batiashvili) combine folk strains - dances, love songs - with a formal inventiveness that is striking. The performances muster plenty of rhythmic panache and lead nicely into a vigorous account of the Beethoven.

Among her concert reviews is this gem:

“It’s been a while since a debut at Tanglewood created quite the sensation that Lisa Batiashvili, an unheralded violinist from Asian Georgia in her mid-20s, set off Friday night. The audience all but tore the place down.”

That sounds like it was worth MSG pricing... next time, Ms. Batiashvili... or should we say, with a great sigh, Mrs. Batiashvili...

Batiashvili started playing the violin at the age of two... thanks to her father being a violinist (and her mother being a pianist couldn't have hurt.) Her career took off virtually overnight in 1991, when a London performance landed her a nearly-full world tour. Since then, she's played the Mostly Mozart Festival and several other major concerts, culminating in her much-hyped show of Stravinsky, Prokofiev, and Tchaikovsky last Thursday through Saturday.

This 24 minute, 38 second-long piece of Beethoven should give you an idea of what she's all about. Enjoy.

Violin Concerto in D Major, Op. 61/Allegro, ma non troppo

Photos and info via her website.

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Bearded Man of the Week: Kris Kristofferson

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Over the next few days, two of your Scanner bloggers will be seeing Kris Kristofferson play solo acoustic concerts. Most people wouldn't even know it if country music's greatest living songwriter passed through their towns, but we never miss him. The author of "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down," "Me and Bobby McGee," "Help Me Make It Through the Night," and many other classics is no showman-- and his voice ain't much these days, either. But few have written songs this good before or since, and that's worth the price of admission alone.

Now, for the first time in ages, Kris is making headlines across the country, thanks to a controversial Rolling Stone article by Ethan Hawke. The anecdote that begins the story is the best music tale we've ever heard... and one you won't want to miss.

Oh yeah... and did we mention lots of beard photos after the jump?

In the new Rolling Stone, Ethan Hawke recites a story that involves hanging with Kris backstage at Willie Nelson's 70th birthday several years ago. While everyone waited in the wings to go on, Toby Keith (he's not named, but it's been confirmed elsewhere) walks by and says, "Hey Kris, none of that left shit out there tonight." We wish we had the full article in front of us (it's not online) so we could recite every word, but here's what we could pick up from press releases and other excerpts:

At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age...
[After Kris said something like, "What did you just say to me?" and stepped to Keith, Willie muttered something about not getting Kris riled up.] Then Kris, an Army vet during the 60's, got in Keith's face and asked, "Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not, so shut the fuck up."
Mr. Keith replied, "What?" and Kristofferson said, "Don't what me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer. I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, 'No, you have not.'"
And then, right there in front of Ray Charles and Norah Jones and Willie Nelson and a bunch of others, Kristofferson told Toby Keith... "You don't know what the fuck you are talking about!"
[Willie, of course, was trying not to laugh. At the end, he told Hawke-- this is not a direct quote-- "Waylon Jennings always used to say, 'Those kind of people did for country music what pantyhose did for finger-fucking.'"
Side note: according to Walyon's son Shooter, his Dad used to say that about one person specifically: Garth Brooks.]

Excerpts via the Tennessean, Rolling Stone, and other sources.

Meanwhile, Toby Keith and Kris Kristofferson both denied the story, with Keith claiming he never even met Kris that night. The media are having a field day with this one, thanks to there being no other entertainment news out there right now.

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Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:34:00 GMT

That girl from Twilight will play Joan Jett in a still unnamed film about The Runaways. [AfterEllen]

The saddest thing we've seen all day: 11 extinct animals that have been photographed alive. [EcoWorldly]

The most depressing thing we've seen all day: the unfolding story of the hostage situation in Binghamton, NY. [CNN]

We (read: Scanner Emily) still need your 10 stars. Real bad. Because we need $200. Real bad. Pretty please? [MissedTees]

We (read: Scanner Collen) still need you to vote for our dream photography assignment. Because we also need $50,000. Real bad. Pretty please? [Name Your Dream Assignment]

Now all three of your Scanners are on Twitter, even though only one of us stays true to the Scanner name. [Scanner Emily, Scanner Colleen, Scanner Brian]

Remember yesterday when Madonna threw a party to celebrate an adoption that hadn't yet been approved? Um, yeah. Maybe not the best idea she ever had. [Us]

Apparently there was a fractured penis scene in last night's ER finale. Was it a swipe at Grey's Anatomy? [The Remote Island]

On April 11 Alternative Nation Countdown Takeover, a show on Sirius radio, will premiere new solo material from Rivers Cuomo that features Jason Schwartzman Rainn Wilson. Weird. Cool. [Rolling Stone]

According to a post on her MySpace blog this morning (obviously not written by her) Amy Winehouse is hard at work on her third album. We'll believe it when we hear it. Either way, we thought you'd enjoy seeing this picture again. [MySpace]

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[Image, Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Fake Boobs, Fake ID

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

The continued success of National Public Radio proves that there are at least a handful of people out there still interested in brain stimulation.

Margaret Cho on Margaret Cho and her Cho Show.

Condoleeza Rice started to climb out of her shell on Leno, discussing Led Zeppelin and Obama...

The worst story of the month: a man claims his mother died when a police officer stalled the man's hospital trip to write a ticket.

Thanks to Behrooz for reminding us about the woman who used a fake ID to pay for fake boobs. Not much can be said about that.

Is this the best Mike Huckabee quote ever? "When it abolished slavery, the U.S. debated and decided it was immoral for one person to have complete, life-or-death power over another." Obviously, Huckabee is against the death penalty... right?

A Congressional candidate announced via Twitter.

We understand why it's on the market, but we're still uncomfortable with it.

Jennifer Hudson will have her revenge on American Idol.

And there's no story to go with the above photo. We just assumed you would appreciate it.

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Erykah Badu's Stalker

Colleen Kane — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:36:00 GMT

Erykah Badu kept everyone (including Scanner Brian) waiting for her free show at SXSW last week, but she had a good reason. Some obsessive wack job was camped out outside her house.

She twittered it, too, under her handle "fatbellybella": "Police just apprehended a stalker in front of my house. Stay tuned to details."

Here are some of those details...

Driving to Austin now. Just got on road .. Had to file police report .

Poor chic is apparently sick . I feel so awful . Police pepper sprayed her and cuffed her .

White woman mid to late 20's had visited my home 3 or so times . Brought w/ her weird writtings .

I was kind to her first 3 times . I knew something was off . She was wearing a dilla shirt today .

When I came outside she had flowers lined up in front of my house and had spray painted the no parking sign with a peace symbol .

She had several misc. Items spread out in the grass . Blue shutters, a rabbit, a tucan , and a sketch book...

I'm gonna be late for my show ... Messing around with her .

Passing thru Waco now...with dilla played loud .

So .. The lady came to the house 1st time today around 1pm .. After light threats from me and fam she left . Was parked ok the grass in front of my house

So she comes back 30 Min later .. By this time I feel violated for real .. Cause o girl wasn't threatened at all .

Had no choice but to put the ipolice In it . Tried to reason . I felt so bad for her and her dog .

When she saw cops she took off running behind neighbors house
... Obviously she had been to jail b4 cause she wanted no parts of that

By this time there were 6 cop cars , ambulance and a fire truck ..

3 officers chased her on foot whole we all watched .

She finally comes " walking " calmly around corner toward one cop car with that big ass dog

Cop snatched her hand behind her back and she began resisting violently..

Damn I'm late

Hold on my people .

... Anyhow, all I could think of while all this is going on is .. I'm gone be on media take out .. LOL

... Or bossip.com

Scanner Brian adds: "It seemed strange that no one mentioned she would be late. Her group came out without her, late already, kept chanting her name and then abruptly left the stage right at 8pm. The lights went down, so everyone left, angry. As we were at the exit gate, Badu suddenly took the stage, played two songs, and disappeared again. Apparently, they had run out of time and still had to get Explosions in the Sky onstage. Oh well, whatever."

When cops pepper-sprayed, then arrested the fan outside Badu's house, the stalker had arranged various items, like blue shutters, a rabbit, a toucan and a sketch book. Ummm, we would have called the cops, too.

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SXSW In Review: The Best Worst Week

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:19:00 GMT

Scanner Colleen is a spoiled brat. That's all we're going to say about this photo, which we reluctantly captured for her.

After a week in Austin, we're at Scanner Emily's in Kansas City, Missouri, en route to New York. You can practically smell the burnout on our clothes-- or maybe that's the three-day-old B.O.

Either way, we're exhausted for a 12+ hour drive through most of the state of Texas, all of Oklahoma and Kansas, and finally a quick hop over the Missouri border into Kansas City. Amazingly, Emily drove every inch of the way, including several stretches without the coffee IV in her arm. Along the way, we listened back to all the free music we'd obtained-- and here's what we discovered...

To me, at least, these were the five best acts and/or shows we stood through during Austin's South By Southwest 2009 Music Conference.

Richard Swift - we had just arrived at the Bust Party when this up-and-coming crooner/rocker took the stage at the Mohawk. We all planned to hit the bar and clean them out of Lone Star and/or Shiner Bock when Swift kicked into high gear. (Watch a song from his performance here.) Speaking for myself, I forgot my original first priority and the fact that Bishop Allen were playing next and just stood on the balcony, transfixed by the funky, sweet, and tightly-wound opening performance.

Harlem Shakes - We were at Maggie Mae's, thinking We Were Promised Jetpacks were playing. As the Jetpacks hit the stage, our first thought was, "Man, I think I had them confused with another band-- they're rockin', but something's different. A new lead singer?" It turned out, I had misread the Maggie Mae's poster and I was actually seeing Harlem Shakes, which I only realized after standing through the entire set, knowing I was seeing a true breakthrough performance. I'm glad I did.

M. Ward - Years ago, we saw M. Ward open for Cat Power at the Warsaw in Brooklyn. It was altogether-- and to this day-- the worst concert we've ever seen. Ward played a droning series of piano ballads and seemed lost. Chan came out later on and actually was lost-- wandering into a Jim Morrison-like abyss from which she finally emerged a few years later to become the great stage presence we heard through the hair in her face that night. So, it was with great reluctance that we attended BrooklynVegan's party headlined by Ward, lately of She & Him. Within seconds, we had realized two things: 1) Ward continues to distance himself from his audience and 2) the echo added to his vocals, the catchy new songs, and, most of all, the choice of acoustic guitar over piano made for a dramatic about-face from the 2003 (?) show in New York. Check out his latest record and the instantly catchy "For Beginners."

Ken Haddock - for most of the week, we enjoyed free lunches at Latitude 30's British Music Showcase. None of the performers we saw topped our first show-- that of a group of ragtag Belfast folkies hoping for their own little Once deals. Haddock was our favorite, and someone would be wise to cover his songs ASAP.

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - I actually missed their show in the park, but Emily filled us in with some mp3s yesterday. The band, which isn't as (yet) popular as their tour mates Rilo Kiley, seem tighter and more focused than that other California band. Perhaps Thao isn't as distracted by solo projects as Jenny Lewis. Perhaps-- hate to say it-- their music is just better.

There were plenty of notable bands and memorable moments: our friends the Crystal Stilts... the surprise of seeing Dinosaur, Jr. for free at 1:30am at the Bust party... even saving Sylvain Sylvain's cell phone before he was to play with the New York Dolls. But those five artists mentioned above are the ones we came away with expecting we'll be bragging about for the next 12 months.

You should check out their music and do the same.

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Britney Spears Suffers From A Vagina Slip

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:19:00 GMT

The Britney Spears Concert Experience has always come off as a lame run-through of music that was immediately disposable, masked by "sexy" dancers and Kiss-inspired pyrotechnics. For all the "energy" Britney claims to have, it never translates publicly-- from lazy parenting to chewing gum with her mouth open and droning on about how great George Bush is, she can't seem to realize that people need to be impressed. That she isn't going to win over haters with her bad attitude and lack of enthusiasm for her own material should be obvious.

Those weaknesses are visible in this horrible concert performance from Tampa, Florida last night. At the end of "Slave 4 U" (lame, lame, lame), Brit appears to lose the bottom of her dress... according to the internet.

Starpulse and several other sources claim that at the end of this number (skip to the last ten seconds or so of the first clip), Britney's vagina popped out of her outfit... although we can't really see anything even when we blow the video up to fit the screen. UPDATE: Second clip doesn't confirm a slip, but does confirm what she said afterward:

[H]er leotard ripped, accidentally exposing her naked crotch to the audience.
The singer had just finished performing I'm A Slave 4 U and was being lowered beneath the stage when she revealed her costume blunder. Failing to realize her microphone as still on, she said, "My pussy was hanging out!" - causing the arena to erupt in laughter. But she refused to let the mishap hold up her set, with Spears completing her costume change and continuing on with the show. [Starpulse]

How do they know she wasn't talking to the audience? Just because she was being lowered down doesn't mean she thought her mic would be off. After all, this is Britney Spears we're talking about-- should we be surprised that she thought this revelation would be beneficial to the concert experience? Judging by her lackluster performance prior to the alleged slip, it shouldn't be any surprise that she doesn't really know what she's doing.

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

Rush Limbaugh is at it again: he's predicting Ted Kennedy is going to die soon.

This cat amuses the bejesus out of our stupid asses.

M.I.A. denied naming her baby Ickitt... but hasn't convinced us of this yet because she won't say what she did name the lil' thang.

Questions remain: will Specter switch to the Democrats? Will Howard Dean join the Cabinet? And is Al Franken ever going to be named Senator?

Moby says what we're all thinking: the weather is too harsh up here in the winter and it's time to migrate elsewhere... at least from October through May.

Wanna be Bruce Lee?

Live in Sweden and want to hire a teenage babysitter? You might reconsider that after reading this.

Rihanna is trying to focus on "new music," which is easy when your boyfriend/husband is busy with the trial for beating you up, spends his nights drinking illegally, and has a soon-to-be-condemned album of his own to work on.

And a school principal in Arizona is gouging his eyes out after walking in a student getting it on with a teacher.

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Keith Richards Shows Us His Other Appendage... No, Not the Guitar, Silly...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:40:00 GMT

Last night, we attended the opening reception of the Not Fade Away Gallery in New York City, which is first hosting a treasure trove of unreleased photos of the Stones and Beatles in their early days. Uncensored behind-the-scenes photos of Ringo acting the fool, Brian Jones getting wasted on margaritas, and other general merriment dotted the gallery.

We spent a good hour there just waiting for promised special guest Keith Richards to arrive, but eventually gave up. Before we took off, we loaded up on Blue Point beer and snuck several unauthorized photos of the photos, including this one of Keith Richards peeing in what appears to be an outdoor sink...

Click here for the uncensored photo and a close-up.

Is this why he didn't show? Well, it's not like we can tell how big the rest of it is just from him starting to whip it out, but one can make certain assumptions.

Moving along, here are the other photos we snuck... including this great candid of an historic moment: Mick Jagger eyeing an (unopened) copy of Bob Dylan's Bringing It All Back Home, the album that many consider the first "rock" record...

Again apologies for the poor photography, but we had to be sneaky. If you want to visit the gallery, here's that information.

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These Celebrities Fell In Love With The Camera At An Early Age

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Check out these hilariously awesome photos of little future celebs: one would grow up to be a kickass, kickboxing, bizarro-human, movie star freak of nature, and the other one is Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Here are a carefully cultivated half dozen childhood photos of the two-dozen-or-so pictures gracing some dude's delightful blog:

We also particularly revel in the glory that is George Clooney (age?) and Halle Berry (age also unknown.) Check them all out here.

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Someone Should Really Name This Johnny Cash Week...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:41:00 GMT

Two of the most memorable moments in the life of Johnny Cash occurred during the last week of February, one in 1969 and the other in 1932.

Can you guess what they are?

1) Today would've been Cash's 77th birthday. Happy birthday, old soul, wherever you are.

2) On February 24th, 1969, Johnny performed at San Quentin Prison in California, a concert that resulted in his second successful live album in a row and his biggest hit single of all-time, A Boy Named Sue, a novelty song by Shel Silverstein. Inmates were treated to songs by Carl Perkins, the Statler Brothers, the Carter Family, and Johnny, who played with a revolving cast of musicians from those groups, including wife June Carter. He debuted a new song, "San Quentin," which went over so well, he immediately played it again. (Some have speculated that the rapturous reception was "added" to the recording, since the inmates had remained unwilling to support a song attacking the possibly vindictive guards, but then why would Cash play it a second time right away?)

About halfway through the show, Johnny tried out "A Boy Named Sue" on the inmates, who are seen in this video lapping it up, guffawing all the way. Now that's a captive audience.

The song would hit #1 on the country and #2 on the pop charts. Miss you, big guy.

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Study: "Back That Ass Up" Will Make You Back That Ass Up

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:25:00 GMT

Please forgive the incredibly dated reference, but our Hot 97 days ended around the time we stopped wearing eyeliner that was thicker than our eyebrows. It was either that or '"Freak Hoes" Will Turn You into a Freak Ho.' Point being, according to a new study, high exposure to lyrics that describe degrading sex is associated with high levels of sexual behavior in teens.

While we certainly don't think teenagers should be exposed to only degrading music, our first thought, of course, is that correlation does not necessarily equal causation, and it's quite likely that the same kids who are having sex at a young age also enjoy listening to songs infused with sexuality. Our second thought (which kind of ties into the first) is that if parents aren't telling their kids that the lyrics convey degrading acts they shouldn't participate in, they're probably not talking to their kids about sex. Plus (!!) the study was done only in Pittsburgh.

The research, published Tuesday in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, was conducted in three large urban high schools in the Pittsburgh area, and involved asking Grade 9 students about the number of hours a day they listen to music and their favourite musical artists.

"Music exposure is growing ... there is now unprecedented access to music and it's also becoming more direct, more explicit," said co-author Dr. Brian Primack of the Center for Research on Health Care at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

"Adolescents are exposed to six to eight hours of mass media messages per day, and since it is such an important exposure, we need to know if this is affecting health."

"We divided the cohort into three ... those who were exposed to the lowest amount (of music with degrading references), those who were exposed to sort of the medium amount, those who were exposed to the most," he said.

"And those who were exposed to the most were more than twice as likely to have had sexual intercourse, and that's even controlling for all of the other factors that we looked at that we thought might be related to uptake of sexual intercourse."

We'd like to know what other factors they're referring to, but the article doesn't mention them. Read the full article here.

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[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: More Grey's Anatomy Turmoil

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge had her home broken into by two very bizarre young citizens. In surveillance footage, they can be seen wandering aimlessly from room to room... and back again... and again... without doing much of anything, let alone steal anything or set fire to the place.

Arrested Development: the Movie was finally greenlit, thanks to lazy-assed Michael Cera coming aboard.

This oh-so-adorable young lady was arrested for assaulting her boyfriend's nutsack. Prior to this incident, they had broken up "approximately 20 times," yet she seemed rather surprised to find that the dude had another ladyfriend over for the night.

We were all excited to hear Andy Richter would be rejoining Conan on TV, but it turns out he's just going to be the announcer. Guess Conan's enjoying his solo career.

Can a resident of the UK explain to us why so many Brits use "miles an hour" in their speech? Does it have something to do with the universal use of nautical miles? (Oh, and check out the video we just linked to. The 71-year-old dude quoted in it is our new personal hero.)

The Beatles recorded a version of "Revolution" that was only recently discovered and you really must hear it.

Is McDreamy really leaving the hospital on Grey's Anatomy?

And Maxim men of the world, rejoice: Megan Fox is single again. But before you get any ideas... guess which first name she has tattooed near her crotch? She wouldn't even have to deal with that pesky removal process if she just returned our calls...

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos

Sloppy Seconds: Nine-Year-Old Girl Marries in Texas

Don't Miss the Awesomeness on Late Night's Goodbye Week

Bearded Men On Craig's List: Or, How We'll Get Scanner Emily To Move Back To NYC

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:42:00 GMT

We're recovering from public nudity burnout after this morning's news and for some idiotic reason, decided that a sane refuge would be the Craig's List Missed Connection section.

Based on what we've come across in the w4m section, a mysterious brand of man has taken over the city of New Amsterdam...

...the beard-o. Jim James, pictured above, the lead singer of Kentucky rock band My Morning Jacket, is rumored to have made the city a second home. The hipsters in Williamsburg have all seemingly realized that, though they live in an urban area, the ladies will overlook the flannel shirts and generally disheveled appearance... as long as the dude's got a beard.

beardo stare - w4m (union pool)

ten thousand dollar stare, what was the even? giving someone "the look" for so long that they begin to fear for their life certainly works, but when you don't follow up with at least a half crack of a smile it still just leaves them fearing for their life.
let's do this rattlesnake dance, you angel.

ps. one hundred bones says your clothes smell like campfire.

When we read the part about one hundred bones, it kind of freaked us out. Maybe it's because we were listening to Warren Zevon's "Excitable Boy," with its deliberately goofy melody and the terrifying lines: "And he dug up her grave/and made a cage with her bones/excitable boy, they all said."

L train making eyes and a laugh - w4m (brooklyn)

...Your beard was new, a month tops-- more like a shadow than a beard. ...I noticed you staring at me i think at Bedford. I stopped actually reading my magazine so i could see if you were still glancing at me at Graham. Surprisingly, you were still on the train at my stop at Myrtle-Wyckoff. we smiled and you watched me leave the train. I turned around twice and you were still looking. you seem fun. i liked your eyes. and i want to know how that book is. are you a Halsey stop guy? Want to go on a hike? I think my camelbak and your hiking boots will get us far enough in the treacherous terrain of Mccarren or Central or Prospect Park.

More choice beard sightings:

I was the brunette with my hair up in a bun, wearing a colorful yellow & pink scarf and long black coat, talking to my friend. you sat next to her and it seems like you kept looking over at us, maybe at me? you had a beard and a hearing aid, were in sneakers and carrying a sports bag. I think I've seen you on the train before.

You were the cute guy with the reddish-brown beard and a stocking hat (that looked like maybe a chicago or cleveland team??) who got on the F... I was the brown eyed brunette sitting a few seats away in a black peacoat and rain boots reading a magazine. We caught eyes when you got on and kept sneaking looks until I had to get off....

Piece of advice: if you aren't 100% sure which team it is your potential dude favors, best to refrain from even mentioning it. Haven't you people seen Diner?

Although all is not lost for you dudes without beards... as this lady suggests, you could always... grow one. (Otherwise, forget it.)

hey bud.. i was sitting to your left while you smoked a hookah at the bar... could not stop thinking about how sexy you'd be with some scruff or a full on beard. you have the hottest "bear" potential. hit me up!

Scanner Emily, better hurry back-- all these enterprising ladies are staking all the bearded territory...

Via Craig's List.

Did You Hear? The Beard is Back (File Under: No Sh*t, MSNBC)

Bearded Man of the Week: Justin Vernon

25-Year-Old Virgin Takes Us One Step Closer to Crazy Cat Lady Status

Crush of the Week: Carrie Brownstein

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:17:00 GMT

Carrie Brownstein, let me count the ways: hot, lesbian, in a sexy lesbian hard rock band (currently on hiatus), blogger, indie, participates in hilarious podcasts for NPR's All Songs Considered, hot, hot, hot.

(The fact that she dates women in no way affects our adoration one way or another. We just wanted to mention it as a way of explaining why we don't just shut up about her and use our connections to land a date.)

If you still consider her to be "in" rock and roll, then perhaps you'll peruse these photos and agree she's one of the sexiest brunettes in rock and roll.

Brownstein landed on the national map in the 1990s (holy shit, that was a long time ago at this point) thanks to her membership in the indie rock trio Sleater-Kinney, eventually landing in Time Magazine as its Best Band In America at the end of the decade. We first fell in love with Carrie after purchasing Dig Me Out and gushing over the adorable booklet photos of her-- oh, and the music was all right, I guess.

Seriously, Sleater-Kinney has always been a seriously entertaining band, and, many would argue, an explosive live act (see below evidence.) Therefore, we were forced to do a bit of scrambled readjustment when Monitor Mix first appeared on the NPR website.

"My hopes for Monitor Mix are that it will be descriptive as opposed to merely prescriptive. I would rather discuss and examine what it is that people actually consume than to tell you what you should be listening to." [Wikipedia]

How intelligent, especially for a rock star. Then, she had to go one-up herself with these excellent podcasts for All Songs Considered, in which she joins other NPR music staffers in goofing on each other and playing Ramones and Gerbils songs, plus a brief interlude of "All By Myself" until they can't keep a straight face anymore. Adorable.

And don't get us started on this comedy team she put together with Fred Armisen... it's making her look even more awesome than we thought possible... like Smittens wore by two seven-year-old lovebirds...

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While You Were Sleeping: Clit-Pumpin' Glory

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:42:00 GMT

An 83-year-old woman in Hungary warms our hearts by continuing to work in her chosen career: crime.

Amy Fisher is going on that rumored stripping tour.

There's a penis in Grand Theft Auto IV! Guess they have to do something to offset the rampant exploitation of women.

Funniest headline of the day: "'Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda'. This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words."

Try the clit pump-nasal spray combo for mind-blowing female orgasms!

How can you not love Sam Donaldson after this clip from a Wonkette/Gawker interview he did?

Jane's Addiction is back... and Nine Inch Nails says goodbye.

The Democrats in Congress are enjoying a rare boom in popularity thanks to the stimulus.

Check out the hamburger dress. Actually, don't bother.

Yay for Dita Von Teese, who insists she'd chose her stripping career over a man any day.

You should read this MTV story about the Lily Allen-Perez Hilton Twitter spat only because it's hilariously sad.

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I Hate Myself For Loving You: Lily Allen

Pic via Drunken Stepfather

Top 10 Breakup Songs

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:22:00 GMT

We gave you a partial day off yesterday to help you (us) recover from Valentine's Day. Were there any casualties on the field?

If so, then it's true... breakup season has begun... and with it comes a playlist to help you make it through the night...

10. Bob Marley & The Wailers - No Woman, No Cry. Bob Marley's anthemic reggae single from 1974 was actually (allegedly) written by a guy who worked at a local soup kitchen. Either that or Marley wanted to ensure the guy received enough in royalties to keep his charitable organization alive. In any case, it's impossible to not be uplifted by this chorus-- although many have often tried to interpret it. "Does it mean because he has a woman, he isn't crying or what?" Choice lyrics: "My feet is my only carriage/So I've got to push on through/But while I'm gone, I mean: Everything's gonna be all right!" Mood: Ready to embrace life again.

9. Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way. From 1977's smash Rumours album, this is the only song on our list written as a breakup song from one band member to another-- in this case, from Buckingham to Nicks. Strangely enough, Nicks knew the song was about her and agreed to sing it... although she asked Lindsay to remove the choice line "Packing up, shacking up is all you want to do" because she never cheated on him. He disagreed or at least didn't want to remove it and the song stands as is. Mood: Venting, prone to leaving epic voice mails.

8. Elvis Presley - Heartbreak Hotel. The biggest song of 1956 is still a great breakup song more than four decades later. It's combo of somber lyrics and an infectuous melody is the perfect combination when you're in the mood for a sympathetic soul and inspiration to go forward. And, of course, it's always worth a listen in any situation. Choice lyrics: All of them, but particularly the opening: "Well, since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell/Its down at the end of lonely street/At heartbreak hotel." Mood: Lonely, in need of a lift.

7. Alanis Morrisette - You Ought Know. We never liked this or any of her songs, especially after we learned "You Oughta Know" is about that douche from that awful Full House show, but you can't argue with the anger here. Or those choice lyrics: "Would she go down on you in a theater?" Sadly, she will not. Mood: If you're the breaker-upper and you're not sure the switch was the best move.

6. Ani DiFranco - Untouchable Face. Maybe it's because of who we hung out with and where we grew up, but it seemed like every girl we went to high school with popped this in their CD player and hit repeat when they got dumped. Those choice lyrics "fuck you in your untouchable face/fuck you for existing in the first place" may have had something to do with it. Mood: Angry, wishing you weren't still in love.

5. Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now. Mitchell's classic folk tune from the late sixties is often interpreted as reflections by a narrator who has seen the two viewpoints of everything in life, but particularly love. At first, she sees love as a fairytale and isn't prepared for the reality, that not everything will be perfect. Once she's reconciled to this, the narrator is finally able to take on a relationship full prepared. Choice lyrics: "I've looked at love from both sides now/From give and take, and still somehow/It's loves illusions I recall/I really don't know love at all." Also: "Tears and fears and feeling proud/To say I love you right out loud." Mood: Reflective and ready.

4. Paul Simon - 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover. Not all breakup songs have to be from the point-of-view of a lover. Remember, your friends can hate your ex's, too. Choice lyrics: "Just slip out the back, Jack/Make a new plan, Stan/Don't need to be coy, Roy/Just get yourself free." Mood: Glad you listened to your friends in getting out of that one by the skin of your teeth.

3. Bob Dylan - Tangled Up in Blue. During the mid-seventies, while undergoing a rough period in the relationship with his wife, Dylan lived in New York City and began studying painting. His new-found love of art and his relationship weigh in equally on his 1974 album Blood on the Tracks, which depicts a series of breakups in its songs, all with nonlinear narratives and unfinished portraits of the characters. The obvious example is, of course, Tangled Up In Blue, which shifts back and forth through time, ending with the immortal final stanza and its memorable lyric "Now I'm going back to her again/I got to get to her somehow" and the last lines "We always did feel the same/We just saw it from a different point of view/Tangled up in blue." Thanks to these pleas, he was able to get his relationship going for three more years until he blew it for the last time. Choice lyrics: "And when finally the bottom fell out/I became withdrawn/The only thing I knew how to do/Was to keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew/Tangled up in blue." Mood: Devastated.

2. Smokey Robinson & the Miracles - The Tracks of My Tears. This is the "I don't care about you" song that lets them know that, deep down, you really do care. If you see him with another girl, just remember that she's just his rebound babe and that the one he really wants is you... whenever you're ready to come back around. As Oliver Stone says over a scene featuring this tune on the Platoon DVD commentary: "Humanity is engraved in this music." Choice lyrics: "So take a good look at my face/You'll see my smile looks out of place/If you look closer it's easy to trace/The tracks of my tears." Mood: Not over you, leaving that door open, but on the rebound.

1. Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive. It's hard to imagine that people have made breakup song lists that not only haven't placed this at #1, but have left them off entirely. At least they could've included that funkified Cake cover. Anyway, what can we say about this song that isn't obvious: it's a disco classic, it's a breakup song, and it's sappy and motivational. Choice lyrics: "Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive/I've got all my life to live/I've got all my love to give and I'll survive/I will survive." Mood: Tony Cliftonesque.

Honorable Mention: Hurt - Johnny Cash; The One I Love - r.e.m.; Hit the Road Jack - Ray Charles; Always on My Mind - Elvis Presley / Willie Nelson. What songs have gotten you through a bad breakup?

Playlist:

The Tracks Of My Tears [Single Version (Mono)]

Link to mp3 of Both Sides Now

Tangled Up In Blue

Go Your Own Way [LP Version]

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover [Album Version]

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While You Were Sleeping: Is This The Dumbest Woman in the World?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Some band called The Fray has the #1 album in the United States. Remember what we said yesterday about Lily Allen having #1's and no one knowing who she is? It's a trend.

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged. Mark our words-- these two will stayed married forever, or at least four months.

Want to know how much Facebook is worth? Nothing, and dropping. (Okay, really, it's allegedly in the billions... until Twitter takes over the social networking market.)

Here she is: the first famous homeless woman.

Wait, how do you get into a relationship with possible murderer Drew Peterson, go on TV, tell the whole world you were just using him, and then go right back into a relationship with him? We hate to say it, but we have no sympathy left for what might happen to this woman, who may be the dumbest in the world. She's been warned.

One reality show contestant showed San Francisco liberals can be just as awful at dealing with humans as everyone else.

Nicolette Sheridan is quitting Desperate Housewives.

Headline of the day: "Zorro in custody."

Today in Unlikely Couples: David Spade and....

While You Were Sleeping: Sex and Chocolate

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Lily Allen

Top 10 Sexiest Album Covers of All Time

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:57:00 GMT

10. Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass - Whipped Cream & Other Delights. The other delights, unfortunately, are mainly covered up by the whipped cream, but this is still vintage goodness.

9. Betty Davis - They Say I'm Different. The woman once married to Miles (hence how she got the movie star-esque name) has two of the sexiest album covers ever. We can't explain why we love our #9 choice... or why we chose it over her possibly sexier "Nasty-Gal" photo...

8. The Pixies - Surfer Rosa. We've listened to this album about 300 times and we still don't know who Surfer Rosa is or why Kim Deal gets upset when Black Francis yells "you fucking die." But yeah, gotta love the field-hockey-players-and-the-coach sex scandal story. Oh, and the cover ain't bad either... and those catchy tunes... and... and...

7. Shakira - Oral Fixation. With a title like that, you'd think Shakira wants to be treated like a sex object-- but look, there's a baby! And this sluttastic photo is playfully Biblical, so you know she's a good Catholic girl. Right?

6. Blondie - Parallel Lines. For Halloween one year, we had a girl dress as Debbie Harry and we joined her in the easy-as-hell hipster uniform worn by the guys in this photo-- and damn it if we weren't sexy as all hell. The other night, we saw Debbie Harry play a fundraiser with a local high school band, doing bizarre and funky versions of "Heart of Glass" and other classics from that album. (We had a boner both nights.) Mainly, this cover is incredibly sexy thanks to the dudes with their shit-eating grins realizing how lucky they are to even be associated with a knockout like Debbie Harry, who makes this one helluva photo with that scowl contrasting their gleeful faces.

(Trivia: what future famous person picked Debbie Harry up in his car one night when she was walking home from waitressing at Max's Kansas City. Hint: he was a creep and she jumped out of the car at the next red light. Answer: Ted Bundy.)

5. The Strokes - Is This It? One could make about a dozen jokes about this album and its cover ("Heh heh... I bet they like to "Stroke" it to their own cover..." or "Is this it? Indeed, how come the album isn't as good as the cover?" for starters.) We'll just mention that whimpy Americans don't even have this picture on their 2001 records because it was deemed "too risque." So was the song New York City Cops-- but that's understandable, given 9/11 occurred just before the record's initially-planned release date.

4. Pulp - This Is Hardcore. A record with only one good song ("Like A Friend," and it isn't even the best of the two released versions)-- hey at least the cover makes for good wallpaper.

3. Ween - Chocolate and Cheese. Personally, we prefer the cover where they parody Leonard Cohen's Best of album using the Elephant Man, but these boobs are pretty sensational. Speaking of sensational, get a load of that belt! We might even wear that thing if it came our way...

2. The Cars - Candy-O. We're pretty sure this ain't no real woman, but for you anime freaks out there, this is one to get your keyboards sticky over. Ew, ew, ew-- pretend we didn't even say that. By the way, for some unimaginable reason, girls tend to get in the mood when The Cars come on the radio-- even if the song is "Let the Good Times Roll." FYI, dudes.

1. Roxy Music - Country Life. Their first US top 40 record (it went Top 5 in Britain), Roxy Music's Country Life is an obvious choice for #1 because of the near-nudity factor. (Of course, there are dozens of possible candidates for this list that have nudity in their covers, but they simply weren't as hot. Maybe for our Part Two someday...) Here's what Wikipedia has to tell us about this glorious photo:

The cover features two scantily-clad models, Constanze Karoli... and Eveline Grunwald. Bryan Ferry met them in Portugal and persuaded them to do the photo shoot as well as to help him with the words to the song "Bitter-Sweet". Although not credited for their photos they are credited on the lyric sheet for their German translation work.

The cover image was considered controversial in some countries such as the United States, Spain, and The Netherlands, where it was censored for release. As a result, a later American LP release of Country Life (available during the years 1975-80) featured a different cover shot. Instead of Karoli and Grunwald posed in front of some trees, the reissue used a photo from the album's back cover that featured only the trees.^.Author Michael Ochs has described the result as the "most complete cover-up in rock history." [Wikipedia]

Honorable Mentions: Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking; Jennifer Lopez - On the 6; and one of the Slunt records. Suggestions are welcome for a follow-up list...

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Amazon Giving Away Lots of Great mp3's

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

Someone alerted us to this list of 500 free Amazon mp3 downloads. While most of them are obscure and probably terrible, we must remind you: they are free. (You think we actually sat there and downloaded them all... and then listened to them? You must really believe that old rumor about us bloggers sitting around in our underwear all day watching Oprah. No way, man, we have schedules and-- worse-- laundry to take care of.)

Some of these are weaker album tracks you probably wouldn't have downloaded with your purchase of the hit singles by these artists, but with the economy the way it is, you could save $17 on a Valentine's Day CD purchase by just downloading these for your significant other and then calling it a mix CD. (We especially recommend you all download the first song listed here, which is just one of four near-classics on the new Eno-Byrne album. The Bell X1 and Loudon Wainwright tracks are particularly good, as well...)

Strange Overtones by David Byrne/Brian Eno

100 Days, 100 Nights by Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings

Dead Sound by The Raveonettes

Motel Blues by Loudon Wainwright III

Skunk (Sonically Speaking) by the MC5

Eve, The Apple Of My Eye by Bell X1

Everybody's Got To Learn Some Time(Dna Mix 93) by the Korgis

...and a few we haven't heard that might be decent...

Another World by Antony & the Johnsons

Hesitation Blues by Asleep at the Wheel w/Willie Nelson

How Come (Album Version) by Ray Lamontagne

Hurtin' You by Ben Kweller

Prayer Wheel by Nels Cline

And with that, here's the full 500.

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Top 10 Bands That Twitter

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:51:00 GMT

Celebrities are becoming addicted to this horrible twat service, Twitter. If Britney Spears (allegedly) breaks her Salinger-like silence by using the free website to communicate with humans (ex-husband K-Fed doesn't count, seeing how he is a zombie), then is there nowhere for Twitter to go?

10. Rilo Kiley

Rilo Kiley in Legos >> http://tinyurl.com/234ch7

9. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

Excited for tonight. Jarvis [Cocker? -- Ed.] is coming by with daiquiri mix and a cardboard cutout of himself. You still up for a jam session, @andylevy?**

8. The Eagles of Death Metal

I love this tweezy thing.

7. The Dave Matthews Band

I wonder if snail farts smell if you're close enough to the snail's asshole to smell something so tiny?

6. Pearl Jam

wonders if Britney Spears having a Twitter is a jump-the-shark moment.

5. Ryan Adams and the Cardinals

Uploading new YouTube Holiday Hotel Jam of "Two"!
P.S. 2000 Followers! Thanks!

4. The Raconteurs

Vote for "Old Enough" on CMT Pure's 12-Pack Countdown http://tinyurl.com/p67st

3. AC/DC

Big announcement 1 or 2 weeks away..

2. R.E.M.

What song do you most want to hear the band do tonight? #rembowl Reply back to @remhq
Michael Stipe's 4th set of responses are up on popsongs - http://tinyurl.com/42rh4r

1. Sonic Youth

another one mixed : no way. are we done? a few fix-ups yet to work on tonight. work on the artwork is continuing.
"no, i wanna see the hairy gonads hanging fr yamaha spkrs"

Hopefully, next week's Top 10 list of our favorite musicians that Tweet will be more exciting. (Actually, we already know Tom Waits and Willie Nelson will be on there, so that's gotta count for something.)

Honorable Mention: The Beastie Boys and Guns 'N Roses. Both groups signed up for Twitter and have yet to make any updates.

**We acknowledge the Nick Cave Twitter is most likely a parody, yes.

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( : 0

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Today is the Day the Music Died

That Wasn't Bikini Girl's First Time in a Bikini...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:06:00 GMT

One suspects that Katrina Darrell sleeps, operates motor vehicles, and possibly showers while wearing her trademark skimpy bikini. The doomed (we say) American Idol contestant likely has no interest in actually winning the show (she has no chance-- can you imagine the female backlash, via text message, once audience voting heats up?) She's there to show off her body in hopes a modeling agency will snap her up.

And just to make sure, she's made the public well aware that there are oodles of swimsuit shots of her floating around on the internet...

Personally, we could care less about Fox's made-up fight between Darrell and Kara DioGuardi, the new judge in town. We could care less about either of them, in fact. All we want to know is how to get in touch with this young hopeful, Casey Carlson.

(By the way, the question "can she sing?" is irrelevant, since no one who has ever appeared on the show, besides perhaps Jennifer Hudson, has ever kept us from fleeing the supermarket when their songs come on.)

Forget about the so-called "Bikini Girl," this is the bikini-clad gal of our dreams-- and although this is Photoshopped to all hell, it's clear she at least has some meat on those bones...

More of her here.

Today is the Day the Music Died

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:49:00 GMT

On February 3, 1959, a small chartered airplane carrying rock 'n roll singers and virtual superstars Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper (alias of J.P. Richardson) crashed in an Iowa field, killing them instantly.

While everyone knows this story, recounted in the famous tribute "American Pie," a #1 single by Don McLean, the so-called "Day the Music Died" is most interesting for all the many strange and unusual turn of events that led Holly, Valens, and Richardson to fly that plane...

Here are the more memorable coincidences, fateful decisions, and other story elements we've retained from numerous news stories over the years:

1) There was never supposed to be a plane. Even back then, rock stars had a large touring bus in which to commute to their endless gigs. Unfortunately, they were doing a Midwestern tour in the winter and their ride's heating system had collapsed.

2) They were supposed to have the next day off. Greedy promoters spotted an open date on the tour itinterary and called a ballroom owner in Moorhead, Minnesota, eventually the plane's intended destination, and secured a booking.

3) Richie Valens wasn't supposed to be on the plane at all. He flipped for a seat with the touring guitar player and won his spot.

4) The Big Bopper didn't have a seat on the plane either. (In fact, the singer Dion would've been the fourth famous singer killed that day if he hadn't of balked at the $36 airfare.) In perhaps one of the most important moments in both rock and roll and modern country music, Waylon Jennings had the final spot on the plane, but gave it up to the whining Richardson. When Buddy Holly spotted Waylon leaving the aircraft with his belongings, he jokingly snapped, "Well, I hope you're ol' bus freezes up." Jennings laugh and shot back, "Yeah, well, I hope your ol' airplane crahses." No wonder the man drank himself to oblivion in his later years...

5) The pilot wasn't an experienced nighttime flyer and was misinformed about weather conditions. It is said that poor visibility and a lack of sufficient operating instruments were likely leading contributors in the crash, which killed the pilot on impact.

Looking for something uplifting after all this? Thanks to the magic of technology, the great work these gentlemen did before their untimely deaths is preserved for all time... here's Buddy Holly, for starters:

Related:

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Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:15:00 GMT

We're barely even at the "attempting to wakeup" stage on this Monday morning, but luckily, Lily Allen has made another public faux pas that is quickly waking us up.

At this rate, we might even be able to operate heavy machinery or, even better, a margarita blender by noon...

Lily Allen, who has been telling the press about her "lesbian fantasies," took a swipe at G-A-Y fundraiser no-show Britney Spears by dressing up as Spears for an encore of "Womanizer" at the event over the weekend. The pop star, who as of today has a #1 single on the UK charts, dressed up in a sluttastic outfit that had the paparazzi like the attack dogs they most certainly are. A few of them tried to stick their cameras under her dress as she exited her car to sing at the event in Great Britain.

Fortunately for us, the Sun, the Daily Mail, and virtually ever other English publication caught the moment when she decided to sort of "moon" the crowd. We bring you only the highest quality source-- because you deserve it:

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