Scanner : naked people

Rolling Stone Somehow Convinces Sasha Grey to-- Gasp-- Pose Nude

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 May 2009 20:42:00 GMT

Rolling Stone jumped on the Sasha Grey-mainstream-breakout bandwagon this week when it featured the porn star-turned-legit-actress in its most recent issue.

Although Grey is a highly intelligent individual, capable of captivating a reader with her hard-earned wisdom, it's obvious no one's buying this magazine, as they say, "for the articles..."

In her featured profile, the 21-year-old scream queen (of the other kind) discussed the thing she hates most about her day job:

Sasha Grey is the adult industry’s reigning princess of porn, a rock & roll 21-year-old with an actual mission statement — “Most of the XXX I see is boring, and does not arouse me physically or visually. I am determined and ready to be a commodity that fulfills everyone’s fantasies” — and few taboos.
“I don’t need to see genitalia up close; I don’t need to see a dirty yellow couch against a white wall. I want to see something different, like this is not exciting to me."
"If you look at me and you think 'Here’s a woman who’s intelligent, cognizant and making her own choices, and you still tell me that what I’m doing is wrong, screw you, because that should end the debate.'"

The article goes on to mention Grey's ten years of acting lessons and her interest in breaking into Hollywood-- but not by doing Michael Bay-type Blockbusters. She wants to be an indie darling along the lines of a Parker Posey or Lili Taylor. What do you think? Is it too late to save Sasha or are porn stars the next superstars?

We've been reading Rolling Stone for years and this is the first time we've seen a (celebrity) nipple. Click on the photos for larger images.

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Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 20:34:00 GMT

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Here's today's funniest video, courtesy of Cracked. Is there anything finer than a Poor Man's Wil Wheaton sitting around a bad bluescreen and making cracks about burning old people alive?

Yes, there is: the morons that man lampoons.

The Art of the Nude Supermodel

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:22:00 GMT

Russell James is the supermodel's photographer. He has worked for Sports Illustrated, Vogue, and Marie Claire and photographed pretty much every "name" model on the planet, including Gisele Bundchen, seen above on the cover of James' new book.

The photographer is particularly known for his nude snaps, many of which you've seen time and again on Scanner...

The 300-page self-titled book is the result of ten years of great art from the former host of VH-1's The Shot. James himself was unavailable for comment at press time to comment, but we know from reading press about him in the past that he is currently documenting the Aborigines in Australia and directing televison commericals for Victoria's Secret and others.

Here's something to tide you over before your copy arrives. In order: Adriana Lima (her second photo here may not be in the book, but you won't mind), Heidi Klum, and Karolina Kurkova.

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Top 5 Nude Beaches in North America

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:43:00 GMT

If you're gay or just want to see a bunch of naked men making out, tanning, splashing each other, or just plain frolicking in the sun, OutTraveler has the list for you.

And if you're a lady person and just want to let it all hang out among guys who probably won't take your picture and put it on NudeBeachCam.com or whatever, you'll want to know where the hot spots are...

Theirs is a Top 5 list, beginning with the only entry for an ocean beach in the continental United States: unfortunately, it's in Miami...

1. Haulover Beach, Miami. Apparently, this is the only nude beach in Flordia and arguably one of the country's finest of any kind. Pro: Lots of good looking people. Con: It's in Miami, for God's sake. Not only that, it's a mob scene virtually from the crack of dawn to after the cops toss everyone off the beach.

2. Hippie Hollow, Austin. We were surprised to learn there was a nude beach in Austin and even more surprised to learn that Texas police haven't raided it with rubber bullets yet. Pro: "Over a hundred swimming holes, a gay-adored beach, and impressive climbing crags beckon from the star of Texas." Con: "The gay section is about 15 minutes walk to the left from the parking lot." Then again, that kind of distance between you and the rest of the local bathers could be a "pro."

3. Hanlan’s Point, Toronto. We don't often think "nude beach" and "Canada" go together, but this entry convinces us. Pro: The fifteen-minute ferry to the beach has an amazing view of the city and, at 6.50CA, is the only thing you'll have to spend money on to get to the sand. Also, water quality is monitored constantly and is usually excellent. Con: You have to wait for it to get hot enough. In Canada.

4. Little Beach, Makena, Maui, Hawaii. Up a trail in the hills of Maui, this island hideaway has one major catch: it's illegal to go naked anywhere in public in Hawaii. Pro: Bragging rights about going naked in Maui-- is there anything that can make your Facebook friends more jealous than to read that status update? Con: Having your hands cuffed behind your back when you're naked-- and not getting any S&M out of it.

5. Wreck Beach, Vancouver. Man, who knew there were so many opportunities to take your clothes off in Canadia Land? Pro: "Naked vendors ply the beach offering water, beer, sandwiches, and a surprising array of narcotics. Ask any student how to get to the access paths that lead down to the water." Better yet, ask a student while you're naked doing a snort of coke off your boyfriend's umbrella tip. Con: Absolutely nothing that we can think of...

By the way, if you're over in the UK, you should know that the country's oldest nude beach will close after this summer, thanks to coastal erosion (i.e. global warming.)

Via OutTraveler.

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Girls, Girls, Girls: World's Greatest Strip Club Reopens, Is Hiring Hundreds of Broads

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:15:00 GMT

The Body Shop in West Hollywood, California, is the world's top strip club, hands down. It's not about class or style or even decent drink prices. It's about history.

All those historic touchstones were burned away thanks to an electrical fire in 2008, but that hasn't ended owner Salah Almudarris' dream of dominating the entire state's strip club market...

Almudarris reopened his club on Thursday with a reduced staff-- and he claims to be seeking up to 500 strippers (!) to add to his roster. My God, where does he fit them all? With approximately 50 girls dancing a night, each making between several hundred and $1,000, the Body Shop is small but important part of the local economy-- after all, the club doesn't have a liquor license, so customers are encouraged to frequent area bars before stepping inside.

Two key facts before we get to the historic photos: 1) The club was immortalized in that "classic" Motley Crue song Girls, Girls, Girls and 2) Megan Fox fell in love with a stripper here, as reported by every major media outlet last year, including Scanner.

What the...? Dirty old gnome, get your own partially-nude woman...

Via SFGate (right-click to open in new tab/window.)

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Lisa Rinna Poses For Playboy At 45, Just For the Hell of It

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 16:51:00 GMT

Lisa Rinna doesn't need Hugh Hefner's money. The former Melrose Place and Days Of Our Lives star is quite content to do Broadway with her husband and the occasional season of Dancing With the Stars.

But she says she wanted to prove that her body is still great at nearly half a century. What do you think?

Rinna, who is married to actor Harry Hamlin, says her husband encouraged her to show off her body in this month's Playboy. The actress, who has had plastic surgery and botox, didn't need to think it over for too long. And the idea of doing a Mrs. Robinson-inspired shoot with her favorite photographer was icing on the cake:

In 1998, Rinna created a stir when she posed for a nude pictorial while six months pregnant in the September issue of Playboy magazine. She will pose again in 2009. Rinna explains she received direct orders from Playboy photographer Deborah Anderson, who also shot Rinna for the Room 23 book. "She said, 'I do not want you long and sinewy and angular and muscular. I want you soft,' " says Rinna. "This was really hard for me because being 45 years old and posing for Playboy, you want to amp it up," Rinna told People. [Wikipedia]

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Cheerleading Coach In Hottest Nude Photo Scandal Ever

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:20:00 GMT

Channel 13 in Sacramento claims to have been "up all night" (you'll believe it when you see the photos) working on the story of Carlie Christine, a cheerleading coach at Casa Robles High School, who was outed as a Playboy and internet porn pinup yesterday after she got on the bad side of a bunch of bitchy wannabe cheerleaders.

But unlike everyone else foaming at the mouth over this amusing tale of moonlighting gone wrong, we have the photographic evidence to prove it really happened...

Christine, it turns out, used her real name (or at least the same name she teaches under) in posing for Playboy, which made it a cinch that the entire football team would eventually stumble across the snaps, which it did. But it was when an undetermined number of girls were kicked off the cheerleading squad for skipping school their awful parents leaked the online photos to shocked school officials.

According to the local media, Christine has been fired from her coaching job, although we'd be surprised if she doesn't quickly make ten times the money modeling. We found something CBS missed: Carlie Christine's modeling website.

I am shorter in stature but photograph very proportionate and I stay thin and toned.
I currently have shoulder-length natural brown hair and intend on keeping it the same from now on.
I do have four small tattoos that I cover with makeup or have airbrushed out for photos unless they are wanted for the shoot.

More of her nude photos, including full frontal images, can be seen here.

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Media Fawning All Over Sasha Grey Now That They're Allowed To

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:15:00 GMT

Sasha Grey's mainstream breakout role in The Girlfriend Experience, playing later this month at the Tribeca Film Festival before a wider release in May, is exciting the elitist media on the east coast. They're all big fans of Grey, which means they've been waiting for years to get her (half?) naked for their magazines while interviewing her on their office couch. Thankfully, Grey is too wise and experienced to fall for their tricks... she ends up coming off as a well-adjusted, well, porn star.

In this week's New York Magazine, Grey talked about playing a Ashley Alexandra Dupre-era prostitute in her first "legitimate" feature film...

How were you cast?
One of Soderbergh’s writers, Brian Koppelman, contacted me through MySpace. I thought it was a joke, because I get a lot of fake offers on MySpace. Then Steven left me a voice mail.

What, as they say, was your motivation?
Steven was really secretive about the character, but he wanted me to bring a natural, uninhibited quality to the film. There’s a lot of scenes where I’m improvising. I sat at home, writing a lot, figuring out who she was. I’d take my notes to Steven.

You don’t actually have sex onscreen.
When I had the first meeting I assumed I would be naked and do a sex scene. Did I think I would do five, like in my adult work? No, but even up to the point where we were shooting, I thought there was going to be at least one sex scene.

That’s usually the first thing actresses clear up in their contracts.
The contract did say that I would be nude. But one of the clauses was [laughing] “You cannot have [real] sex.” To me, that was a pretty funny legality.

I imagine you’d never seen that before?
It was pretty weird. But it was great not to have sex—that would have been too easy. If you want to see me having sex, you can do that! Not doing it shifts the focus, because a lot of clients are there for more than the sex.

What’s your plan?
I’ve got to diversify myself. Do I want to be 35, having sex on-camera? No. I want to be sitting on a fucking porch at my beach house with my own successful company.

Via New York Magazine.

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Full Frontal Nudity On British Afternoon TV

Emily Farris — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:49:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: More evidence British television is not at all like American television...

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Padma Lakshmi Suddenly, Surprisingly Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:58:00 GMT

The nude issue of Allure, which is out Tuesday the 21st of April, promises to be a smash success, thanks to the naked presence of Eliza Dushku, Chelsea Handler, Sharon Leal, Lynn Collins, and the hostess with the most sexiness, Padma Lakshmi.

The Top Chef star talked to the magazine about her breasts, her body, and sleeping in the nude-- in that order...

ALLURE: What did you do to prepare for the shoot?
PADMA LAKSHMI: "I exercised a little bit extra, but I actually think I look better when I have a little bit of weight on—my breasts are fuller, and I'm curvier than when I'm at my thinnest."

ALLURE: Are you confident about your body?
PL: "Yes; I like the way I look. I think I look better now than I did in my 20s, because I'm more confident about my body—and I don't want to look like anyone but myself."

ALLURE: Do you sleep naked?
PL: "I tend to sleep in the nude. I'm an innately tactile person and a very sensual-leaning woman. You have to use the word 'leaning' or it sounds like I'm boasting! When I'm in my own private space, I do spend time with very little on."

Emphasis added. Here are some more partial-nudes of Lakshmi from a photo shoot we've only recently discovered...

As we mentioned, Eliza Dushku and others also posed "nude" for the Allure issue...

ALLURE: What about [getting naked] these days?
ED: "I'll strip down to my underwear and my Ugg boots when I eat lunch in my trailer."

Sharon Leal, formerly of Boston Public and Guiding Light, and recently of Dreamgirls, was a bit shaky on the whole nudity thing:

ALLURE: What happened when you dropped the robe?
SL: "I just breathed and said to myself, 'I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful; I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful,' until I didn't have to say that anymore.... It's liberating, but posing once may be enough."

Chelsea Handler, the talk show host and standup comic, practically leapt at the chance to show off:

ALLURE: What was it like on the set?
CH: "I think it was easy—you're naked a couple times a day, so I think it would be easy for most women."
ALLURE: What body parts are you most proud of?
CH: "My boobs are good. They're real and perky. Even if you can't see them, the important thing is that I know about them, and the guys I've slept with know about them."

Lynn Collins, star of the recent bootleg sensation X-Men Origins: Wolverine agreed:

LYNN COLLINS: "Women with confidence in their bodies are the sexiest thing, so I put on my cape of courage and did it. It was quite liberating!"
ALLURE: What body part were you nervous to expose?
LC: "He shot that place where your butt meets your thigh. It's a special place on a woman; it's a highly erogenous zone, but it's one of the hardest places to get in shape."

Via Allure.

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Nude Sunbathing Under Attack Worldwide

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:49:00 GMT

You would think that, given the state of the world economy, people would become more willing to relax their stubborn attitudes on issues more likely to stimulate the economy, from marijuana to gay marriage to nude sunbathing.

But not in this case. From North Carolina in the United States to Perth in Australia, nudity is under attack by male Puritans-- and yes, they are almost always males...

First, in Bird Island, North Carolina, a man with a wife and children complained to authorities about having had to "endure" topless sunbathers. Those authorities responded immediately and issued a press release reminding everyone that they can't let their wangs flap in the breeze... or something.

Brunswick County officials say they will come up with a sign banning nudity on the beach. County commissioners say Bird Island is not a registered nude beach and that full exposure is against state law. [News 14]

Ah. Notice they said "full exposure is against state law"-- is North Carolina one of those crazy left-wing states that supports the right of women to show their nipples? Try it some time, dear readers, and let us know how that goes.

Meanwhile, in Australia, a recent survey found that 33% of the country is against topless sunbathing. And here we thought Australia was more open minded. Even those who thought they should be "tolerated" were kind of whiny about it:

...anti-nudists [said] they "didn’t want to see it all hang out". totaltravel.com global marketing manager Paul Fisher said the survey showed that Australians are tolerant of nudity.

However, he said a number of respondents who agreed to have more nudist beaches in Australia called for appropriate signage.

“While a leading proportion of voters agreed that a little bit of flesh never hurt anyone, a few did comment that if more nude beaches were introduced there would have to be appropriate signage to alert families or children to what kind of beach it was,” Mr Fisher said.
“Some also called for nude beaches to be secluded and away from beaches where families congregated." [News.com.au]

C'mon, people, we can do better than that...

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Christina Ricci Was Born To Be A Porn Star

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Don't take this the wrong way-- we didn't mean that title as some sort of insult to the wonderful and wildly popular crush object Christina Ricci.

Ricci is set to star in a new movie called "Born to Be A Star," which is about a guy who discovers his parents were major porn stars in the 1970s...

According to the Hollywood Reporter (thanks to The Screengrab for the heads up), Adam Sandler co-wrote the movie and Tom Brady is directing. We're assuming it's a different Tom Brady than the quarterback who married Giselle Bundchen (again) in Costa Rica over the weekend. Here's the rundown:

The story centers on a small-town nerd who stumbles upon a family secret: His quiet and demure parents were famous porn stars in the 1970s. This motivates him to leave Northern Iowa for Hollywood, hoping to follow in their footsteps and fulfill his destiny as the biggest adult-film star in the world.

Ricci, the female lead, is the guy's innocent girlfriend.

There's no word on nude scenes or, more specifically, Christina Ricci nude scenes, but we're guessing this might be a raunchy PG-13 that pushes the rating as far as it can go-- in other words, no sex scenes in a movie about... porn.

One more tidbit:

Despite Sandler and Giarraputo's involvement, the movie is not a Happy Madison production but rather by porn title-friendly entity Miles Deep Prods.

Via the Hollywood Reporter.

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Why Marisa Tomei Finally Went Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:04:00 GMT

Marisa Tomei gave an interview to TotalFilm this month on her career and, most importantly to readers, her decision to accept a series of roles that required sex and nakedness.

We hesitate to use the term "revealing" when describing this excerpt (and accompanying NSFW photos, of course), but maybe that's because the pun is so obvious...

"I definitely feel like I didn't want to do that kind of thing when I was younger because I didn't think that it was something a serious actress would do, in a way there is validity to that...
"It's harder to be taken seriously when you're younger, doing [nude scenes] but I've also come to a point of being able to handle the reaction to it - that probably would have been more difficult when I was younger."
On finally undressing for The Wrestler and Before The Devil Knows You're Dead: "I did those two movies because I was grateful to have them come along, frankly.
"I wanted to work with Sidney Lumet and Ethan [Hawke] and Phil [Seymour Hoffman] and Albert Finney.
"Actually, I wasn't so thrilled about the nudity package that was coming with it, but it was the best thing that was offered to me at the time and I really wanted to work, and I trusted Sidney so much.
"Maybe growing older there's an inner sense of what I can trust and I knew I could trust him. So it came out of that." [Press Association]

Growing older or not, this was worth the wait. Keep 'em coming, you amazingly talented, sexy, and very naked "older woman..."

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Advertising Event Promotes Full-Frontal Nudity As Business Model

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:50:00 GMT

For the past several months, we've been reporting on the advertising industry's desperate descent into nudity-focused marketing campaigns. Normally, we would applaud any stripping away of censorship, but marketing agencies have always pissed us off by cynically co-opting all up-and-coming movements, milking them, and so oversaturating the mainstream with their ideas that even outsiders want nothing to do with what they once loved. (Case in point, graffiti-- once Madison Avenue realized hip kids "dug" that fresh style, everything in the 1980s had that awful, fake "tagged" look. Now we want to vomit anytime anyone mentions "taggers.")

Luckily, in Austria, people have a healthier attitude toward the nude form. Of course, that won't stop advertisers from having an event specifically geared toward nudity in hopes more people will pay attention...

We better let the website itself explain their 21st century ideas:

XIPAX - Show us your best bits.
XIPAX.com gives creative people the chance to present their ad campaigns – and of course their best work. The key message of the campaign: Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. The idea: double meanings that encourage people to show off their best work, but also hint at showing oneself in the nude. The kick-off for the campaign: a guerilla promotion at the annual gala hosted by Creativ Club Austria (CCA).

Why they have to do this naked is beyond us-- just sounds like another gimmick. But the video is mighty entertaining... watch as a guy comes up to the stage, drops trou, and holds up a sign promoting XIPAX. How many years before Valtrex tries this at a Dodgers game?

NOTE: We could not embed the video after all, so click here to see the multiple naked people...

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The Best Topless Revue In Vegas Closes After 50 Years

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:03:00 GMT

On Saturday night, the Tropicana Hotel and Casino bid adieu to Les Folies Bergere, its legendary topless revue.

Today, we look back at 50 years of photos from the classic Showgirls-style dinner theater performance, which broke new ground for "tasteful" public nudity...

Beginning on Christmas Day of 1959, the show enjoyed nearly 30,000 performances on the Strip in Las Vegas, Nevada. It closed, some say, because people are more interested in the circus, magic shows, and Cirque del Soleil. The only show left featuring topless showgirls is the Bally's revue "Jubilee!" (Read more about Les Folies Bergere here.)

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Bai Ling Trying To Make Mickey Rourke Regret Dumping Her

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:12:00 GMT

Today's Gawker and an edition of the New York Post are excited to report on superstar genius man-actor Mickey Rourke's revived love life. First, they point out, Mickey fended off Bai Ling, going stag to the Oscars, and now faces rumors that a Russian model is trying to use him for fame.

Both sources claim an unnamed "pop star/model" is leaking gossip to Russia's tabloids about her plans to marry the actor. Yeah, and I'd like to announce my engagement to Anne Hathaway, while we're at it.

Meanwhile, Bai Ling is doing some leaking of her own-- namely, these nude photos-- in an attempt to rebound from Rourke.

And the classics that captured his imagination in the first place...

Click the photos for the larger image.

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Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Lingerie

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 20:38:00 GMT

Every guy has a childhood story about finding the nudie mags under their friend's dad's bed. Ours involves raiding our best friend's father's Playboy collection, dating back to the mid-sixties, and going over centerfolds ranging from famous rock groupie Bebe Buell to Vicki Iovine, wife of the great record producer Jimmy Iovine.

But we always got bored with the nude women posing in the same exact way. We ended up digging to the bottom for the Victoria's Secret catalog with Elle MacPherson on the cover. To us, the tease was better than the full monty.

With that in mind, here are Five of our Favorite Sex Scenes Featuring Lingerie...

5. Gia. This first surfaced on the internet entitled "Banned Lingerie Commercial." Yeah, right-- even lingerie commericals aren't this hot. Should this automatically be #1 on any list of anything, including lists that have nothing to do with sex? Yes. Are we too lazy to move it to the bottom of this post? Indeed.

4. Two Days in the Valley. Skip to 0:22 to the part where James Spader finally shuts up when Charlize and her long, long, long legs enter the bedroom... and then they both don't shut up. Ever.

3. Mutual Needs. Is this a porno? Rochelle Swanson's in it, so it must be... but who's complaining? If you have five minutes to kill today, this is how you should spend it.

2. Layer Cake. Skip to 1:30 to build on the hotness. Thinking that this PG-13 movie would be lacking in uncomfortable sex scenes, we decided a Daniel Craig action movie might be a good choice for a post-Thanksgiving dinner. Whoops. Sienna Miller here explains why she is able to hypnotize men into leaving their wives-- she just pops in a DVD of this scene:

1. El Beso del Sueno. Maribel Verdu from Y Tu Mama Tambien and... some old guy... in what was obviously her audition for the famous blockbuster Alfonse Cuaron film. Did that movie top this one in her terms of hotness? Of course... but don't miss the close up of Verdu's panties... Cuaron didn't think of that.

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Audrina Partridge Already Reduced to Nude Advertisements

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge is gearing up to star in a (hilariously awful!) spinoff of (the hilariously awful!) MTV fiction show The Hills.

Partridge and her ridiculous breast implants are apparently worthy of their own sitcom, since Partridge was such an exciting addition to The Hills that the 30-program could hardly cram in all her personal and professional trials and tribulations. Those mainly consisted of sitting around a pool, talking in an annoying voice, and not pretending to get married in Mexico.

So, MTV decided it can't have Partridge promote her upcoming series by going on "talk" shows, because it doesn't want to scare off its last two potential viewers. Instead, Partridge landed a deal with Divine Rights of Denim jeans, which continues the trend of having celebrity spokespeople pose nude to advertise their lame products...

Have we vented enough yet? Good.

By the way, the ads are above and directly below, followed by what you really clicked on this for: the lost nude Audrina Partridge photos.

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PETA Celebrates Mother's Day With Caged Pregnant Ladies

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:59:00 GMT

It was Mother's Day in the UK yesterday-- we guess Britain's Hallmark division couldn't wait any longer.

PETA hired or acquired a trio of pregnant ladies in London to do their dirty work... and by dirty work, we mean the literal kind. PETA asked the women to remain in a small cage for an undetermined length of time, their only movements to be crawling around on all fours. We're guessing it's not really harmful to the unborn to do this, although isn't it utterly freezing in the UK this week?

Jamie Oliver was also attacked last week for supporting "inhumane" pig farming in the UK. PETA stated: "The answer to saving pigs is not to buy British pork, it's to go vegetarian."

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:19:00 GMT

Man, porn stars are all over the media today. Just head back to the homepage and scroll down-- even Kim Kardashian makes an appearance!

22-year-old Sicilian actress Laura Perego trumps them all-- "walked into the stock market in a black coat which she took off to reveal her body painted in the colours of the Italian flag, naked apart for some tiny underwear," according to the Associated Press.

She accused the government of incompetence in its financial dealings and of leaving Italians with nothing but their underwear after taxes are taken out. Man, this is the spokesperson Michael Steele has been dying for. Fox News is sure to interview her any day now.

Of course, the "family values" motto the Republicans stand behind doesn't really jibe with these pics:

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Top 5 Frantic Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:44:00 GMT

These scenes for your frantic Friday are not of the S&M or Basic Instinct or even Secretary variety (that's a whole 'nother list.) Sometimes, you've had a really epic and soul-crushing workweek and you don't have time to warm up.

As those recent and soon-to-be-disproved surveys say, there's no need for foreplay anymore...

5. The Life of David Gale. Was it just us or was this Kevin Spacey-Kate Winslet movie a triumph of wasting our complete fucking time? Nope, we weren't the only ones-- the movie hovers around a 20% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes-- oh, and Richard Roeper gave it thumbs up, so that's all the evidence we need. And, frankly, we don't even remember this sex scene being in the film, which has to stand for something.

4. True Blood. Hey, we didn't claim these were all from the movies anymore. Besides, this show is more softcore porn flick than any turgid rated-R crapburger we've sat through this year... so, once again... that's gotta count for something. And bonafide Academy Award-winning actress Anna Paquin is featured-- so... there's that.

3. The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) - We include this scene because, in a rare move for misogynist Hollywood, a woman is seen to be "leading" and "directing" the sex. Note that Jessica Lange demands that Jack Nicholson wait until she clears the table, then orders him to get down to business. Furthermore, she doesn't enjoy being on the bottom, so Jack will just have to make do with her on top. That's more like it, Tinseltown.

2. Crash (1996) - You've probably seen the Rosanna Arquette-James Spader scene... and the Deborah Unger-Elias Koteas-while-James-Spader watches sex scenes. But unless you've seen Crash, the 1996 David Cronenberg film and not to be mistaken for that flaming piece of tripe from a few years ago, you probably didn't even know about the Holly Hunter-James Spader scene. My God, how was this NC-17 release not banned from theaters and burned by the conservative movement?

1. A History of Violence - We were hoping to find a frantic Hollywood sex scene that doesn't involve a man doing something violent to initiate sex, but gave up after several hours. (Just kidding-- you think we have that kind of time?) Seriously, please recommend a few movies where we can see women being portrayed as normal, sexual beings who can initiate sex without repercussions. In other words, no slasher films.

Honorable Mention: Love in the 21st Century

Sex Scene From The Show Love In The 21st Century

Also, we deliberately left out the Basic Instinct scene with Jeanne Tripplehorn because it's a borderline rape scene. So, for all of you who were about to write in to chide us for the oversight... "Ha! And you thought the ice pick death scene that opens the film would be here. This is somehow rougher... and Jeanne Tripplehorn is so much hotter than Sharon Stone, don't ya think? She has those incredible lips and an innocent Marilyn Monroe pout. We kind of wish she gets to do a movie where she leads the roughhousing and isn't sexually exploited like she is here. Okay?"

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Anna Friel Has Been Getting Naked Since Before She Was Born

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:11:00 GMT

Forgive the silly headline here, but we must address the recent "shock" that resonated throughout the blogosphere about Pushing Daisies star Anna Friel's controversial nude scenes in her upcoming movie.

People: a simple Google search will tell you whether anyone has ever appeared naked anywhere at any time, including in the shower...

The Sun and other useless newspapers are desperate to stay afloat, so it's no surprise they're pretending the few well-known actresses getting naked in recently-released movies are first-time affairs and that their photographs/screenshots are excerpts. Gwyneth Paltrow was the first to be incorrectly (and widely) labeled a "new nude," followed by Anna Friel.

Here is her nude canon, followed by a badly-edited clip from Bathory, her latest naked-fest, and a photo from the same. Bathory, by the way, tells the exceptionally disturbing story of Elizabeth Bathory, a Hungarian countess in the late 16th/early 17th centuries and the world's most accomplished female serial killer, with hundreds of victims to her credit.

Rogue Trader

The Tribe

Me Without You

Bathory

...and the promised Bathory screenshot. Cree-py...

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Rosario Dawson Will Never Stop Having to Discuss Her Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:24:00 GMT

There's apparently something called T Magazine and Rosario Dawson did an interview for it a few weeks back.

In it, she discusses lesbian sex, being completely naked on screen, abortion, and the following sex scene...

That's from Alexander, the Oliver Stone film Dawson addresses in her T Mag interview:

The only sex scene I’ve done that caused a fuss was the one I did with Colin Farrell in ‘‘Alexander.’’ That scene was intense. I thought it was necessary to the movie — in life sometimes you’re naked. But it was not soft porny in any way, which would have been harder for me. My brother, who D.J.’s in a strip club, was relieved when he saw it. He said he was happy that I ‘‘was fit.’’ He didn’t want to be embarrassed around his friends.

Sorry, Rosario, but it's an Oliver Stone film-- it was definitely soft-porny.

She also discusses lesbian sex, her mother nearly having her aborted, and love scenes with Will Smith:

I didn’t have sex until was 20. I got into trouble at school because one of my friends said, ‘‘Lesbians do it with straws.’’ I said, ‘‘I can tell you how lesbians do it, and there are no straws involved!’’ But I think all that talk of sex put me off. The first time I had it, I think it was in a head-to-toe rubber. I was terrified of getting pregnant. My mom was planning to get an abortion when she was pregnant with me. She was at the clinic waiting for her appointment and she felt me move in her stomach. I always tell her it was probably gas. I thank God for gas.
Before our first major kiss, [Will Smith] said, ‘‘Let’s go — I’m going to nail this scene. I want to go home.’’ [Laughs] But he focused. Kissing can be more intimate than nudity. You have to take your time.

We don't know about that last one-- getting attacked by a horny Colin Farrell, trying to kill him, and then having full on-screen sex is pretty intimate. It almost made us embarrassed for having been so pleased to see her naked... almost.

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Michelle Williams Strips, Seduces, Enjoys, And Freaks Out On Ewan McGregor

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:59:00 GMT

Michelle Williams has already bounced back from the stress nightmare and overwhelming publicity surrounding the death of her ex-fiancee, Heath Ledger. First, she nailed a terrific performance in last year's gem Wendy and Lucy, sadly overlooked by Kate Winslet-crazy Oscar voters. Then, she landed the lead in the new film Incendiary, which was a hit at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival and comes to DVD on May 5th.

But Nerve Video obtained a copy of the graphic and memorable sex scene between Williams and co-star Ewan McGregor (man, that guy's naked in everything)...

This scene takes place at the beginning of the movie. Williams' character has a husband and young son, whom the filmmakers apparently doesn't even bother to give a name, are at a soccer match (note her character's accent), so she decides to invite sexy Ewan over for a game of her own. Both fortunately and unfortunately, the scene is edited so that spoilers are removed, so we won't tell you what's going on at the end here, except to say that Williams had left the TV on and the channel tuned to the match...

More about Incendiary at the film's IMDB page.

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From the Annals of Boobs...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:54:00 GMT

We've been noticing a strange trend in the latest wave of free internet porn. (Hey, not that we're spending our workdays looking at porn or anything. No, that would be wrong. Wrong. Very wrong. Really wrong.)

Fleshbot and several readers have directed us to porn clips of late that involve one trend in boobs...

The Boob Rub. See evidence below:

And this...

...which proves internet porn trends do influence real world sex...

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Gwyneth Paltrow Saves Joaquin Phoenix's Career With Her Boobs

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:01:00 GMT

Joaquin Phoenix's "final" acting performance has been getting rapturous reviews, especially from critics who actually believe his recent publicity stunts are real. One writer, however, noted that it would be impossible to watch Phoenix's Letterman appearance back-to-back with the new film Two Lovers and not think he's faking the rap career.

However, the largely negative reactions to Phoenix's new music and public persona have turned people off of Two Lovers, and so producers are hoping Gwyneth Paltrow can sell the movie, in which she co-stars. To do so, they've leaked a phone sex scene in which Paltrow flashes a boob at Phoenix from a window.

It's only about thirty seconds long, but this is the hottest Paltrow has been since Shakespeare in Love. (By the way, numerous idiotic websites claim this is her first topless scene-- they aren't even close. See below.)

Here are some highlights from her past work... that food travel show not included... har har.

Flesh and Bone

Shakespeare in Love

Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

Last year's Bond babe and budding Hollywood It Girl is rapidly disappearing from the movie world.

In the months since the release of "Bond 22" (i.e.... and it still bothers us to say this... Quantum of Solace), Olga Kurylenko has all but vanished from the spotlight. Then again, if you've been keeping an eye on the internet for her seemingly relentless yet obscure photo shoots, you have been seeing a lot more of her than usual.

Her in-production film credit is this one:

Orlando Bloom, Vincent Cassel (Eastern Promises) and Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace) have signed on to star in The Cross, which will be directed by Andrew Niccol (Lord of War).

According to Variety, Niccol has initiated pre-production on the $24 million sci-fi escape story.

Set in a border town, The Cross returns Niccol -- Oscar-nommed for writing The Truman Show -- to his favorite domain: the near future. Bloom plays a man seeking to cross a mysterious border, something no one else has achieved; Cassel limns the guard who will go to any lengths to foil him. Kurylenko takes the femme lede. [MovieWeb]

Yeah, uh... we'll wait with bated breath for that one...

Anyway, she also continues to do what she does best, namely this photo shoot... and these...

Via various sources. Uncropped version of the first b&w photo via this link.

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Topless Coffee Shop Opens In Maine, Not Without Controversy, Bottoms

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:37:00 GMT

We only wish the baristas resembled this 80's lady, but I'm sure they're not quite so "vintage," shall we say...

After months of controversy and protests, the simple coffee shop was finally allowed to open its doors this week in Vassalboro, Maine. The two-item* establishment features topless male and female servers, who are charming and bubbly and refuse to let us photograph them for this blog.

Nonetheless, we find that we can get behind the gimmicky joint...

Despite the fact that this place is nothing more than a meat market at discount prices (as opposed to other meat markets, such as strip clubs and brothels, which would pay the staff a living wage) can be overlooked for one indisputable reason: they are worth supporting because the Puritans are against it.

They aren't against it because people are fornicating in the alleys behind the store and that the property values are going down because of all the drug sales inside. There haven't been and aren't likely to be any of that kind of behavior. This is basically a Hooters with coffee and doughnuts instead of wings and celery sticks; topless waitresses instead of tight t-shirts that leave nothing to the imagination anyway. But check out the quotes a local paper was able to round up from the naysayers:

"I definitely think it's not a good idea. I've lived in town my whole life and we've never had anything like this," Furbush said.
"I don't believe it's going to pan out, not in a small community like this," Breton said. "People move to these small towns because they don't want to deal with bars and adult video stores and a topless coffee shop. It's important for towns to have an ordinance written so things like this can't happen." [Maine Today]

Ms. Furbush-- so, you're against New England Coffee because it represents a change in style from the other establishments in town? Then why do we get the feeling you wouldn't be against a Wal-Mart coming into town? Just saying.

Ms. Breton-- first of all, if you're betting against nudity, we'll take that bet... for any amount of money you're willing to waste. Also, last time we checked (the US Census) people are generally moving away from small towns, for cities more accepting of their liberal/open-minded values. Not everyone thinks God hates their bodies, Breton.

*not those two, silly. And yes, unlike most "topless" coffeehouses in the United States, these women are actually bare-breasted.

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Nude Night Invades Florida

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:36:00 GMT

The peaceful small town of Orlando, Florida was considering going to bed early on Saturday when word began to spread among the populace: "Dude, you're going to miss Naked Night 2009!"

According to its website, Nude Night "is a juried art exhibition with hundreds of artists celebrating the body beautiful by creating a bazaar-like atmosphere of artistic talents not only in photographs and paintings, but also in live body painting, sensual performances, shapely sculpture and experimental installations." When you're done catching your breath, here's the layman's version: it's a shitton of nude art and several hundred leering guests.

The evenings begin with cocktails and DJs blasting out lounge music, while patrons peruse the immobile art projects. Later on, performers leap to the stage to offer "interpretations on the theme," according to the website. (See above photos.)

In case this sounds like your ideal evening out, don't despair, for the Nude Night art fair will hit Tampa this coming weekend, starting on Thursday and running through Saturday. Don't miss it... and remember to e-mail us a link to your Twitter pics.

Via their website. Top photo via the Orlando Sun-Sentinel.

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Fake Celebrity Engineers Fake Topless Candids

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 20:35:00 GMT

She's a reality show star, fashionista, fake celebrity, and the subject of endless tabloid gossip in England. So, why aren't these naked photos of Peaches Geldof taking the internet by storm?

Perhaps it's due to the fact that she resembles, at least facially, her facer, the singer of "I Don't Like Mondays" and organizer of Live8 and other charity festivities. Perhaps it's her tiresome personality, one so maudlin it could render any naked person as sexy as Ron Jeremy. For one thing, she got married as a teenager-- and she wasn't even pregnant. Worse, the marriage lasted only a few weeks and Peaches told friends: "I just don't fancy him anymore." Worse still, she admitted that even though she was married, she never thought it would last. Conservatives-- this is your enemy of marriage, not the gays.

Anyway, Peaches has been trying to get the public's attention ever since the divorce proceedings began this summer. Now, she's posing for supposedly candid photographs while frolicking topless on the beach. You think if they had hired a photographer, these would've been of better quality, but whatever...

So, hot or not?

Via TaxiDriverMovie.