Scanner : naomi campbell

While You Were Sleeping: The Madonna Marriage Meltdown

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:47:00 GMT

If you're a passenger on a plane that's being hijacked, you may do well to follow the example set by these passengers.

The sleazy Republican Governor of Nevada has been slapped with a lawsuit by the cocktail waitress who suffered his "advances" two years ago. Meanwhile, a right-wing politician in Austria, killed in a car accident last weekend, is believed to have been driving drunk at the time.

Are you interested in seeing Naomi Cambell naked?

Then click here. We've had enough of her, clothed or naked, with all the violent rampages and the rest of her insanity.

Did Dennis Leary go too far when he attacked parents of kids diagnosed with autism?

The blogs love the new Apple laptops.

We're sad to see Terrence Howard had to quit Iron Man 2 over a salary dispute, but at least he was replaced by someone equally excellent (Don Cheadle.)

MTV and the UK Sun are reporting:

Just months after Madonna denied that her marriage was in trouble, a British tabloid is reporting that she and husband Guy Ritchie are set to announce their split, "imminently."
The Sun reported on Wednesday (October 15) that a "highly placed source" confirmed that Madonna, 50, and Ritchie, 40, "just couldn't live together any more" and could "no longer bear to live with the pretence" of being a happily married couple. [MTV]

Related:

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Topless Seattle Coffeehouse To Take Down Starbucks?

Ohio Democrat Flashes Topless Photos During High School Class

The Naked Lady Rides Again In Oregon

Sloppy Seconds: Lily Allen Would Very Much Like Sir Elton John to F*ck Off, Seriously

Emily Farris — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Our not-so-slutty sister thinks that vetting Sarah Palin is like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but funnier. We would like to take this opportunity to disclose that we have not been fully vetted. [FameCrawler]

At least she passes Elisabeth Hasselbeck's test with flying colors, because you know it's super complicated and makes lots of sense. [MollyGood]

Will celebrities please stop throwing things? First it was Russell Crowe with his cell phone, then Naomi Campbell. Now Akon, probably best known for "Smack That," is facing criminal charges after being accused of throwing a fan off of stage — and we're not talking about the small appliance. [Yahoo!]

If you're a shitty asshole who would like to hunt down women who've had abortions, you may be in luck. Abortion Tracker claims to have a record of every woman who's had an abortion since 1940 and they'll make the list available to you for one easy paymennt of $799. [Jezebel]

Anne Hathaway apparently loaned her businessman ex hundreds of thousands of dollars before the couple split earlier this summer, proving that even rich guys can be loser bums (except, we actually already knew that). [Starpulse]

Even though they ganked our feature, we have to give it to dListed for catching this who would you rather: Dog the Bounty Hunter or his wife, Beth? Um, can we vote for the dog? [dListed]

Of all the people in the world we'd like to tell to "fuck off," Elton John doesn't even come close to making the list. Not so for Lilly Allen who drunkently disrepescted the singer at the GQ Men of the Year Awards. [MTV]

Scanner Highs And Lows: But If You Are In The Mood...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 22:02:00 GMT

...maybe your sex drive isn't as high as it should be. Maybe you're burnt out from fantasizing about lingerie models. Or maybe you've just been mauled by a crazed grizzly bear.

In any case, you need some refreshment...

Highs:

CNN solved that sex drive problem, ladies. Sort of.

The Daily Show's five sexiest clips turned us on, for sure.

Anne Hathaway, as viewed from the side, caused total computer hardware failure. From drooling on the keyboard.

At least she didn't pick herself: Naomi Campbell named the last true supermodel, and we have to agree with her on the sexiness factor.

Lows:

Snickers didn't bring on a bout of the chuckles.

Ashley Alexandra Durpe couldn't seem to keep it in her pants. We mean... never mind.

Viewed from a distance, Brad Pitt is a) just as sexy or b) a lousy father?

The man eating bears had nothing to do with sex, but they, um, scared the pants off us. Does that count?

The 9/11 thing... got us hot and bothered? Nice try, but not really... mainly just bothered.

There's a 17-year-old girl stripping in Iowa. 17: not acceptable. 18: here's a dollar for your humiliation.

If engaging in fellatio this weekend, take this girl's advice: "Do Not Swallow!"

While You Were Sleeping: The Last True Supermodel

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Anne Hathaway's karaoke song is rather fitting, don't you think?

The incident with his mom and sister was apparently not the only one during Christian Bale's wild Friday.

A list of the top Hollywood bachelors that in any way involves Ryan Seacrest is invalidated automatically.

Guy answers call from the cops on his cell phone by saying: "Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police," and hanging up.

Speaking of police, they arrested a man for stealing money from a fountain in a Florida mall. His total haul? 42 cents.

You're not gonna believe who Forbes magazine thinks is the best investment in Hollywood. (You were right if you said "whoever it is, it's definitely not Tom Cruise.")

And Naomi Campbell says she wasn't the "last true supermodel":

"Models need to earn their stripes - I just think the term is used a little too loosely.
"Kate Moss is obviously a supermodel but, after Gisele [Bundchen], I don't think there's been one."

Via IMDB.

Related:

Scanner Roundtable: What's Your Karaoke Song?

Sloppy Seconds: Whose Illegitimate Half Sister is This?

Sloppy Seconds: Update On The Christian Bale Story

Gisele Bundchen's Latest Nude Shoot May Be Her Finest Work Yet

Rumor Mongering (or Simple Math): Is Naomi Campbell's Vagina Infected?

UPDATE: Link fixed.

Sloppy Seconds: Is Paris Preggers?

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:49:00 GMT

A new abstinence magazine for teenagers. Awesome! We hope it's full of really useful articles like how to get the most pleasure out of your lollipop. [HLA via Jezebel]

Billy Ray Cyrus apparently thinks Annie Leibovitz—who famously shot the infamous photos of a half-naked Miley Cyrus—"is a paparazzi." [MollyGood]

Alanis Morissette wishes her ex-fiance, Ryan Reynolds, well with his new fiance, Scarlett Johansson, but probably still wonders if she'll go down on him in a theater. [People]

Robert Downey Jr. credits Burger King with his sobriety. "I have to thank Burger King. It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen." And then what? [GabbyBabble]

Senator Ted Kennedy is resting at home after surgery to treat a brain tumor. [Us]

Supermodel/mean person Naomi Campbell says she wants a baby. [FameCrawler]

But is that worse than the fact that Paris Hilton might be pregnant? Oh please, God, no. [FameCrawler]

Image via famecrawler.com

While You Were Sleeping: Is Rob Lowe A Dirty, Old Flasher?

Emily Farris — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:42:00 GMT

Laura Bush readied herself for her Today Show guest hosting gig. [NPR]

Ashlee Simpson would like you to know that her womb is none of your business. Which we think totally means she's pregnant. Or she had an abortion. Or not. [MTV]

Cameron Diaz's 58-year-old father Emilio died unexpectedly of pneumonia. [US Weekly]

Bearapalooza: road trips, big hairy men and country music. Sign us up! [Bearapalooza]

Hey remember Debbie Gibson? Yeah, so does her stalker. [TMZ]

Supermodel/ scary person Naomi Campbell tried to give blood to help fight a dengue fever epidemic in Brazil, but officials turned it down, for now. [Yahoo!]

The last of Walt Disney's original team of animators, known as the "Nine Old Men," died. [Yahoo!]

Rob Lowe's nanny is accusing him of exposing himself to her, repeatedly. If Rob Lowe showed us his penis, we probably wouldn't sue him for it, we'd probably just laugh. Maybe that's why the nanny looks like she's going to bust out laughing during her entire interview with Meredith Viera. Luckily Meredith asks the tough questions. [MSNBC]

Sloppy Seconds: Is Jamie Lynn Spears a MILF?

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:12:00 GMT

Supermodel/scary lady Naomi Campbell was arrested today at London's Heathrow airport for allegedly spitting at a police officer.

Yes, Jessica Alba is hot. This does not mean she is good at picking baby names. Maybe her fiancé, Cash, had something to do with it?

"It is very comfortable, it's not heavy or scratchy or anything," model Danielle Luminita said of the $122,000 diamond thong she recently sported for a fashion show in Singapore.

Say it ain't so: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are planning a private getaway? Things must be really bad for K-Fed because the only time we've considered reuniting with our ex was when we were feeling really, really bad about ourselves. Cheer up, Kev, and take a vacation alone. It really does help.

Ladies, we hope you already knew this, but Babeland reminds us that the best way to get rid of menstrual cramps is to masturbate. Really, it's the best way to treat any pain; sucks when you break you right arm...

It's kind-of cute that Mick Jagger is trying to look as tall as his date, but even in lifts he's not quite there. Just embrace the fact that you have a tall, hot girlfriend, Mick!

We just had a terrifying thought: does one have to be of legal age for fucking to be considered a MILF? When Jamie Lynn Spears pops out 'lil Spears, will men consider her a MILF? We shudder at the (illegal) thought... We're thinking "MILF" should be retired. We don't know too many moms who aren't hot. What about GILF?

Rumor Mongering (or Simple Math): Is Naomi Campbell's Vagina Infected?

Emily Farris — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:51:00 GMT

As Scanner Bryan told us earlier, PageSix was reporting that Naomi Campbell was hospitalized in Sao Paulo to have a cyst removed. But CNN is reporting that she's "being treated by one of Brazil's top specialists in infectious disease" and... a gynecologist?

Most "diseases" that we know of that warrant a gynecologist aren't necessarily infectious. But what do we know, really? Though we did have a friend who had a very, very smelly vagina infection once (vaginitis). But an infection isn't really a disease. Maybe she has some crazy Brazilian strain of yeast infection and they're just being extra cautious? Or maybe PageSix was right and it's a long-gone cyst. Whatever is wrong with Naomi's vajayjay, doctors are keeping quiet. But we wish Naomi and her vagina the best and hope they're back to work very soon.

[CNN: Model Naomi Campbell hospitalized]

[Image via]

Today in Page Six: Naomi Campbell, Prince, Joe Francis, Unnamed Penthouse Pet

Bryan Christian — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMT

We found ourselves with a bunch of items coming from Page Six, so we thought we'd group them into one big easy-to-digest, Rupert-Murdoch-lovin' compendium. Hail the Dark Lord!

-- PageSix.com reports that Fox Noise is reporting that Naomi Campbell has reported to a Sao Paolo hospital reporting an as-yet-unreported infection. We report report report, but report she report report!

-- We would totally have watched the Oscars if Prince had invited us to his viewing party. Actually, no, strike that -- it was a post-Oscars party. Also, we'd probably have just watched all the strippers instead.

-- Joe Francis is planning a monthly, PG-13 print version of his Nobel Prize-winning Girls Gone Wild series. Since it sounds like a sure fire way to bore and confound his hardcore fans, we have to assume he's doing it for the same reason that they're putting Kool-Aid into cocaine these days: to get the kiddies hooked.

-- Penthouse Pets are such big sluts that they'll make out with someone mere moments after having sex with another man. To be fair, though, Bachelor Number Two was a journalist, so he had no chance of closing the deal anyway.