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While You Were Sleeping: Bailon To Do Playboy For 100G's?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:10:00 GMT

The newest star on Obama's shortlist for a cabinet post: Hillary Clinton, with Secretary of State the likely job. Meanwhile, Obama will resign his Senate seat early (this Sunday) instead of waiting for the Constitution to push him out.

Nebraska is in chaos, with all sorts of parents trying to drop off their rebellious teens under the Safe Haven Law.

Finally, a talk show host who might actually be funny:

John Mayer is in talks with network executives to take his singing talents to the small screen - as the host of a weekly variety show.

Rod Stewart and Ron Wood's original breakthrough group, the Faces, may be getting back together. We're trying not to get too excited because there's not even a hint of an American show.

A cleaner at a zoo in Singapore either lost his mind or was on some powerful narcotics when he wandered into the tiger exhibit. Oh boy... not pretty.

A nudist was cleared of all charges for riding his bike at night in his Oregon neighborhood.

Taylor Swift might quit country music at some point to become a surgeon.

And Adrienne Bailon's publicity stunt may have paid off: Playboy liked the ass shots, and now want to see more... with $100,000 as their offer.

Note to Disney: Stop Hiring Future Porn Stars

While You Were Sleeping: Jennifer Aniston's Big News

Sloppy Seconds: The Republicans Finally Find a Song

China Joins The Sex Hotel Trend

Dita Von Teese Graces Us With These Playboy Photos

Life with the Obamas... in the White House

Nudists Vote to Vote Nude

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:03:00 GMT

Some Florida nudists have their panties in a wad because when it comes time to vote, they've got to cover it up.

The 350 residents of the nudist community Caliente Resorts are desperate for an on-site polling place where they can do their civic duty without all that pesky clothing.

The request for the polling place wouldn't be granted until 2010 at the earliest, if it's granted at all, and absentee voting is not a valid solution.

"It's about freedom," [spokeswoman Angye Fox insisted]. "People take their civic duty seriously and in many cases [nudism] is a very serious part of their lifestyle."

Now there's some civility for ya! We're all for encouraging the to vote, but, honestly, you all can't put on a pair of pants and go to the polls for 20 mins? Nudism must be way more fun than we thought. It sounds downright addictive.

Top 10 Secrets For Looking Great Naked... From A Nudist Resort

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:20:00 GMT

Leave it one of those trendy nude getaway spots to tell us what works and what doesn't when you want to be more comfortable in your own, bare, uninhibited, decently-exposed-skin.

Of course, a lot of the ideas on this list are laughable... then again, so is the idea that these places are clothing "optional." It's more like "clothing will be given eyeball daggers of death and the person will be ostracized more than the guy 'accidentally' bumping into you with his boner..."

Our friend Mary in sunny and desolate Palm Springs, California issued this Top 10 list as part of a press release for her Terra Cotta Inn, which is like the Playboy Mansion for old people who don't swing. Which, in fact, is an apt description of Hugh Hefner's lifestyle these days, but anyway...

10) If you worry about existing tan lines - use a self tanner to blend color into your tanned skin.

9) If you use Retin- A, wear a floppy hat while in the sun.

8) Don't wear heavy foundation or make up by the pool. Try a tinted moisturizer with at least a SPF 15 for a flattering glow.

7) Bikini wax at least one week in advance, so your newly exposed skin is not irritated by the sun.

6) Stay at a resort like ours with a salt water pool and whirlpool tub. This way your skin won't dry out and you don't have to worry about your lightened or highlighted hair turning green from chlorine.

5) Apply at least an SPF 15 sunscreen multiple times during the day. That includes on the sides and underside of your breasts, underarms, etc. You don't want to ruin your romantic vacation with a sunburn.

4) No need to diet before going. You don't have to worry how you look in a bikini or swimsuit, since your not wearing one.

3) Get a mani/pedi before going. Ask for a topcoat with UV filters to keep the color bright.

2) Fashionistas who still need their fashion moment in the sun, can wear slinky cover ups to match their sandals and hats or visors. If you like bling, wear flirty ankle chains or toe rings. Jeweled hair clips can complete your birthday suit ensemble.

1) Finally, to make the best use of your romantic time together, leave the cell phone in the room. Remember, you can't hide a blackberry in your bikini if your not wearing one.

Hmmm... we're pretty sure "hide the blackberry in the bikini" is the name of a game the guests play in the room after dinner, but that's another post...

Via PR.com.

When The Folks Are Away, New Hampshire Teens Party Naked

Germans And Poles Are At It Again...

Swingers Vs. Nudists In Florida (Of Course)

While You Were Sleeping: Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Celebrate Banned Books By Buying Everything On This List

San Francisco Street Fair Would Make The Marquis de Sade Proud

Painter Will Strip Your Wallpaper In The Buff

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:52:00 GMT

The aptly named Nick Male wants to paint your house or apartment in the nude. He offers "personalized service," "high quality worksmanship," and "interior and exterior work." Rarrrr...

That's what they said.

He's fully insured against any job related injury-- just like a hooker and her boobs! Seriously, any man who comes along promising high quality worksmanship, personalized service, and promises to work both your interior and exterior has got to be worth a tryout...

Male, 39, is all man: he spent almost two decades in dirty overalls before saying, you know what, there are plenty of British naturists who would love to have another naturist around painting their house so they don't have to cover up. He turned out to be right: business his booming, with almost all his clients practicing nudists. Of course, there are a few catches, as he told the Lincolnshire Echo:

"As soon as I arrive at a client's house I strip off. I don't feel embarrassed about it. I often get phone calls from people who think I offer other services. Women are worse than men with what they say. They're not very subtle. The only downside is that it can get a bit chilly, but most clients will put the heating on for me."

Women, not subtle? Hey buddy, they just want to know what they're getting. After all, it's not every day you hire someone to paint your house and they show up naked. Not everyone is hip to the nudist movement, not even a couple million years or so since the beginning of time...

For those of you who have "got with the program," Nick's site is here.

More about Nick here, in the local paper: Nude Male's Cheeky Way To Earn A Living.

Related:

Vintage Finds: Nudism Throughout the World from 'Sexology' Magazine

New Issue of "Pinups" Gets Us All Hot and Bothered

St. Louis Nude Bike Protest Points To An Emerging Trend

Artist's Penis Commits World's Largest Indecent Exposure

The Whole World Would Get Naked In The Rain For Spencer Tunick

UPDATE: A Plethora of Penis Photos

Does the Nude Beach Have Wireless Internet?

Emily Farris — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:54:00 GMT

Hey, New Yorkers. Did you know about the nude beach on the Jersey shore?

The New York Times calls Gunnison Beach one of the greatest kept secrets in the New York Metro area, and we have to agree. Who knew there was a nude beach so close to the city?

Round-trip tickets cost $43, and the trips are becoming so popular that weekend boats carrying up to 400 sometimes “max out,” and a later weekday homebound departure has just been added, said Heather Irvin, a SeaStreak spokeswoman.

The half-mile beach regularly attracts 5,000 sunbathers on a weekend, making it the most populous nude beach in the country, according to Friends of Gunnison, a group that self-polices the beach and runs charity events.

A yellow school bus providing free shuttle service is waiting at the ferry dock for the three-minute ride to the beach. Some of the day’s passengers disperse to “clothed areas” all along Sandy Hook. But Ms. Hu and Ms. Rosen, Mr. Thomas, Mike and Monica and others head for Gunnison, trudging past cautionary signs.

“Warning: Nude Bathers May Be Present on the Beach.”

And farther on, “Beyond This Point You Will Encounter Nude Sunbathers.”

Okay, but does it have wireless Internet? Because that could easily serve as our new office.

[NYT: Ferrying From Manhattan to Bare It All on the Beach]

Related:

But it's Always So Cold on Airplanes, Are Nude Flights Really a Good Idea?

Hey Ash, Long Time, No See (And Nice Tat!)

Swingers Vs. Nudists In Florida (Of Course)

Condo Board Solves Housing Crisis With Nude Pool

Swingers Vs. Nudists In Florida (Of Course)

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Check out the strategically-placed straws that aren't even strategically-placed.

Florida is in the Scanner news twice today, first with a condo solving the housing crisis by installing a new pool, and now with a resort that is facing a civil suit if it can't resolve issues between its original nudist members and infiltrating swingers.

The Caliente Resort & Spa

must cut off ties with Web sites that promote the swinger lifestyle, tighten control on the use of Caliente's name in event advertisements and where the ads are distributed, and get Caliente reinstated in the American Association for Nude Recreation.
Caliente is... also a full-time home for hundreds of people, many of whom objected to the swinger parties, called "Swingfest." They hired [an attorney and demand] the resort clean up its own image.
"If the reputation of the club changes to something more risque, people will worry about bringing their kids," Hathorn said Friday.
The resort refused to scale back what it called a brand campaign focused on "nontraditional nudists." Caliente intends to move forward in expanding our brand to nontraditional nudists and people who want to enjoy occasional skinny-dipping in luxury...
"They will realize they need to work together," Hathorn said Friday. "It's in everyone's best interests for the two entities to work together."

About the only thing we can say about all this is: why is anyone surprised that a nudist colony turns into a swinger's club? There's a very fine line between being naked with a group of people while keeping your hands to yourself and being naked with a group of people and having a full-blown orgy, no?

Via St. Petersburg Times.

This Week in Gayness: E-Harmony Doesn't Want You

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:04:00 GMT

Two lesbian mothers are fighting over custody of thier child; one of them is using an anti-gay law to skewer the court's favor.

This, plus Ewan McGregor, Dita Von Teese, Sally Kern, the anti-gay t-shirt case heads to the Supreme Court, and more... after the jump...

Basically, one woman, Therese Leach, who is not the biological mother of "her" son, is arguing in an Ohio court that a 2001 court-approved agreement between her and her son's mother should be upheld, regardless of the fact that the state passed an anti-gay marriage amendment in January 2005. Lamda Legal, who is defending Ms. Leach, argues that the agreement should not be invalidated merely because gays are not allowed to marry in Ohio. We say to anti-gay activists: "Is this what you intended when your bigoted law was passed? Taxpayer dollars going to waste over a silly fight like this?"

These activists, mainly Christians, should take the words of Wendy Gritter, director of the Christian group New Direction, to their ever-loving hearts:

"I believe we have a long way to go to eradicate hateful and homophobic environments and responses in the Christian community. We have a long way to go to demolish the pervasive hierarchy of sin. And we have a long way to go to counter-act the perpetual sense of shame that many experience due to the reality of their same-gender attraction." [Religious Left]

While we seriously doubt the Bush-approved Supreme Court will do a damn thing in the way of fighting these nutjobs if this case ever turns up on their docket, maybe the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals will see the light:

Attorneys for a student who was punished by Poway High School officials for wearing an anti-gay T-shirt to school are asking a federal appeals court to declare unconstitutional a school policy against offensive speech under which the student was punished. [Gay.blogspot.com]

The problem here is that, while big supporters of every aspect of free speech, in this case, schools are guaranteed by law (and many, many previous court rulings) the right to ask students to remove any items that are distracting to the learning environment. We wholeheartedly support that policy-- although in case like this, we're admittedly biased. (Let's fight these douche's any way we can.)

And although we support the gay community and its right to simply be left alone, we kind of relate to the issue here:

Gay naturists have been granted their own swimming sessions at a public baths – to the fury of families who also use the pool. Several parents have withdrawn their children from lessons there. The gay naturist group, Naked Swim, books the pool and saunas one night every week. [Gay News]

Remember when we said we could kind of relate? We were fucking with you. Would these same people, if faced with an all-black nude swimming session, raise such a fuss? (This is England, not Tennessee, mind you.)

A thousand people with too much time on their hands rallied for Supreme Assface Sally Kern this week. Forget Iran, our next war may be a civil one.

Anybody watch Australian Gladiators? You mean they're multiplying?

E-Harmony, as has been long rumored, hates LGBTs.

And Chelsea Clinton has been seen at various gay bars, courting the queer vote for her she-swears-she's-not-mama. Wouldn't that be great if Chelsea came out during the general election? McCain would win by 200 points.

Previously: Dita Von Teese and Ewan McGregor

Vintage Finds: Nudism Throughout the World from 'Sexology' Magazine

Emily Farris — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:33:00 GMT

"Nudism Throughout the World" is a "first-hand account of the Naturist movement from the point-of-view of a practicing nudist." Ray Romaine, basically a nudist anthropologist, shares the squeaky clean story of nudism in the February 1961 issue of "Sexology" magazine. After all, as stated by the International Naturist Federation, "where nakedness is a practical necessity, it is accepted as a natural, but it is never used as a means of sexual provocation." So get your mind out of the gutter!

The last picture really, really makes us want to go camping—clothes or no clothes. But probably with clothes because the mosquitoes just love us and we don't want OFF in our girl parts.

Find the rest of the article (and a few more pictures) at ModernMechanix.

But it's Always So Cold on Airplanes, Are Nude Flights Really a Good Idea?

Emily Farris — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:27:00 GMT

Our skin always looks so bad when we're flying, and sitting down strapped in naked? The belt cutting into all the bad parts? Or maybe the altitude does wonders for the body? But maybe not in the way we'd like.. because we do remember that one time when the guy we were flying with whipped it out and it seemed so much bigger 30,000 feet in the air. So maybe a nude flight is a great idea for guys and not so much for the ladies? Ah, we're confused so we're going to keep our clothes on and let the Germans have all the fun for now.

A German travel agent has come up with the ultimate in no-frills flying - a charter flight for passengers who want to fly naked. Naturist holidays are particularly popular among east Germans, who like nothing better than to stretch out on a beach in the nude. "The flight can be enjoyed as God intended," said OssiUrlaub, a company specialising in selling to holidaymakers from the former east. "For the first time, passengers in Germany can fly completely in the nude."

Maybe it's the first time in Germany, but there was that one flight out of Miami in 2003.

Ninety intrepid adventurers, passengers and crew enjoyed the first nude flight on a commercial airliner May 3 from Miami to Cancun, Mexico. A chartered Boeing 737 carried the first ever NAKED AIR flight sponsored by Castaways Travel of Houston, Texas. The professionally dressed crew remained clothed throughout the flight, adhering to standard operating rules of the Federal Aviation Association (FAA). Only the passengers disrobed after "take off" and remained nude for level flight until the captain called for clothes and landing procedures upon approaching the Cancun International Airport. Length of the NAKED AIR flight from Miami to Cancun was one hour fifteen minutes. Most passengers were on their way to the El Dorado and Hidden Beach Resorts for NUDE WEEK, also sponsored by Castaways Travel from May 3-10.

[Guardian: Nudist flights ready for take-off]

[Naked-air.com]